Pagans Can Suck Too

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think all Christians like all other Christians or the things other Christians do?  Do you think all Muslims like all other Muslims and all they do?  If you do, I can show you actual wars that would suggest otherwise.

I am a Pagan.  I am an eclectic Pagan, who does not belong to a coven.  I do (when I can), belong to a group that celebrates the Sabbats together, however, we all have pretty different beliefs and ideologies.  The great thing about being a Pagan, is that most of us are not trying to convert each other into believing the same.

However, that isn’t to say that there aren’t things that other Pagans do that annoy the shit out of me.  It isn’t to say that there aren’t some Pagans who I wish would call themselves something else because I’d rather not associate with them.

So, because I like lists, for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, let me list those Pagan-type people who annoy the living fuck out of me.

  1. Fucking racist Pagans  This is pretty prevalent in the Norse Pagan groups.  #NotallNorsePagans.  It, of course, is not everyone who is down with the legends of Odin, but substantially too many.  You aren’t superior, you’re not a fucking viking, and I saw your stupid asses on the news marching in Charlottesville today, and trust me, you look like fucking inbred hillbillies that couldn’t fucking lift a toy hammer, let alone carry Thor’s.  I hope you all die.  I’m not kidding.  See a Nazi, shoot a Nazi.  More on the hate crime and our inept President’s piss-ant response tomorrow when I calm down so I don’t say anything that could warrant a visit to my home by the Secret Service.
  2. Believe in anything just because it isn’t mainstream Pagans  If I hear one more thing about Mercury retrograde, I am going to do something that I haven’t quite thought of yet, but trust me, it will be bad.  Mercury never goes retrograde.  It appears to go retrograde.  There is no change in the gravitational pull from Mercury during this time.  Furthermore, just because Mercury was the Roman god of travelers and transporters of goods, does not mean that a planet appearing to reverse orbit (once again, it does not) will affect your travel plans or communication during this time.  Even if the orbit did reverse (it is an optical illusion), the gravitational effect on you from Mercury would be less than that of a car passing you on the street, given the distance you are from that planet.  Just because something is mystical and was once believed, doesn’t mean it still should be.  After all, some believed the Earth was flat, only fucking idiots like Tia Tequilia believe that now.
  3. Path conversion Pagans  Your path is not mine.  If you want to join a converting religion, why aren’t you a Catholic?  We can agree to disagree, no matter what the pope says.  If you need to beat people onto your path, your path is probably made up of horseshit.
  4. Lifestyle conversion Pagans  I am sex-positive.  My path is sex-positive.  A whole lot of Pagan paths are.  But not all.  Everyone’s path is different and that should be okay.  Additionally, many Pagan paths are cool with polyamory.  I am cool with polyamory, even though I am not polyamorous and am quite happy being monogamous.  If you aren’t cool with my monogamy, I am not cool with you.  So go fuck yourself, or your partner, or your group, or nobody.  Up to you.
  5. Lazy Pagans  These are the Pagans who like to preach things then do absolutely fuck-all about it.  For example, a while ago, my little city had its LGBTQ Pride Day.  It was fun.  A whole lot of major Pagan paths, and covens, are very vocal about supporting LGBTQ rights.  In most of the paths, it is pretty clear that joining the masculine and feminine energies are energies, and not necessarily males and females.  Indeed, many paths speak of the energies existing within everyone.  (Something I strongly believe.)  And yet, on the local LGBTQ Pride Day, did I see booths for Pagan groups and their covens?  Nope.  Didn’t see any in the bit of parade I watched either (though admittedly, I may have missed them if they marched since I didn’t see the whole thing.)  But do you know what I did see?  Christian churches (The ones who live by a book that calls a man lying with another man an abomination).   They marched with LGBTQ-friendly church banners, and had booths at the event.  If Chrisitans can show up in support when their own book dislikes something, maybe the people who think it isn’t a problem could show up too.
  6. Pagans who say one thing, and do another  Like the ones who constantly whine about not being taken seriously yet vote for Christian Supremacists.  Or the ones who deny climate-change.  “I love nature, as long as it drowns coastal cities and dries up crops.”
  7. Hollywood Pagans  (This doesn’t mean Pagans who might live in Hollywood.)  Guess what, I have also seen The Craft.  It’s actually a pretty decent movie.  I saw Practical Magic.  Less decent in my opinion, but taste is subjective, I guess.  I have seen Hocus Pocus.  Funny as hell, but not a guide to anything.  I also like Buffy, but I can guarantee you that Willow and Tara are not your typical Pagan.
  8. Light-only Pagans  It’s okay to get down.  It’s okay to embrace the darkness every once in a while.  And, in my opinion, it is okay to do what is necessary to keep someone from harming you.  While I do try to live according to the Wiccan Rede (even though I am not Wiccan), I will take leeway when harming someone is in my own defense or the defense of others.  This is my path, and if you take issue with it, maybe you should look more closely at yours.  An it harm none, do as ye will, but I guarantee you, I take no issue in harming a Nazi.
  9. Pick-up Pagans  As a male, who is attracted to females, I can safely say that I am usually in the minority in most Pagan circles.  There are often a lot of females around at any events I attend.  Many are single, and I would be blind to be unaware of this fact.  However, not once have I, nor should anyone else attend these functions for the sole purpose of hitting on other Pagans.  Sure, you may connect with a Pagan, (similar interest can do that), and maybe something will grow from there, but if you are using your Pagan status as a dating service, you’re just a desperate sleeze.  My love is a Pagan, but us getting together has more to do with seat belts than our spirituality.  That was like a bonus.
  10. Pagans of convenience  These are the Pagans who join up to rebel or be different, but really are not at all on a spiritual path.  They will drop out when faced with any pressure from the overwhelming masses who do not understand why anyone in this nation isn’t Christian, or at the first sign of hardship in life.  “It didn’t work, I am going to go back to believing in a zombie.”  They will decide all Pagans are bad when they are confronted with any of the above types of annoying Pagans.  They will claim they grew-up.  They were never interested in being Pagan, only in being part of clique.

In any group, there are people you would rather not associate with.  It is important to remember this.  Not all Christians are homophobic assholes.  Not all Muslims are terrorists or women abusers.

But as soon as we fail to call-out those who we feel do not represent us, we might as well join them.

Advertisements

Lughnasadh

Hello dear reader(s)!

As far as the Pagan Sabbats are concerned, Lughnasadh or Lammas to me is “Meh”.  Don’t get me wrong, I will still do a couple of things in order to celebrate it, but all the Sabbats for me are times to connect with nature or observe the changing of the seasons and to me, Litha and Lughnasadh feel roughly the same.  They’re both hot as fuck and around times where being outside for any major length of time will result in skin cancer or heat stroke.

It is the first of the harvest festivals, so fruit and grain are big on this day.  My love is baking some braided bread that looks amazing.  It is rising right now, but I am sure it will smell and taste even better.  I am looking forward to that.

This evening, when the sun goes down, I will try to get outside.

I belong to a local group that celebrates the Sabbats and they are having a celebration this evening, but I am pretty certain I will not be able to attend due to extreme gastrointestinal issues which will make me want to stay close to home wherein lies my magical porcelain throne which the seven kingdoms do not fight over.

I will feast tonight, because my love is an awesome cook.  Maybe I will light a fire in the evening (as this is a fire festival) or burn an effigy to release the negativity we carry.  Incense and candles will be burned (of course), and good times will be had.

But I am still kinda “Meh” on this one.  One of the problems with a nature-centric belief system is that sometimes, nature sucks.  You understand the necessity of it.  You are thankful for what is provided by it, but you don’t want to go outside and play in it.

“That’s great that the love between the Goddess and the God burned so hot it literally consumed him, but could they not get their passionate heat all over the rest of us?  I don’t want to be consumed too!”

If you want to get really technical, this celebration should have happened yesterday after sunset since that is when the day began for the Celtic pagans, but fuck technicalities.  I do what I want.  Besides, if you get in to those kind of technicalities, you probably actually want to celebrate on the closest full moon.  My path allows me to mark days on a regular calendar, thank you very much.

Perhaps if my stomach feels any better later, I will let my Goddess consume me, if y’all know what I’m sayin’.   😉

Happy Lughnasadh, everyone!  May it be more than “Meh” for you!

 

 

 

 

Not The End Of This

Hello dear reader(s).

I apologize for my absence, but my new family is experiencing a loss.  A heavy sadness hangs over the house as they (and also I, though not to the same level) grieve.

No matter the natural order, no matter the knowledge that nothing really ends, no matter what your path may tell you, losing one you love is never easy.  Whether or not you believe you will see someone again, or that they will be in a better place, it is hard not to feel the hole their place in your life will leave.  It is a hole that can never be filled, only accepted.

My belief in life and death are a little different from most others I know.  It is not really consistent with any one path.

Essentially, I believe life is like a video game.  This actually comes a bit from my mom, a bit from what I’ve always thought, and a bit from some of the beliefs that have formed my path and practice.  We are all together, every soul, sitting around playing life like a video game.  Some of us are just watching and resting before we respawn.  But we’re all hanging out together, having a good time.  Where our souls are, in the other realm, where time has no meaning, we know we are there.  But the characters we play in life, they don’t know it.  They’re game characters.  Some of us are playing on expert mode, and have chosen difficult paths and a lot of challenges, some of us are playing on easy mode to get our feet wet and have different experiences.  This isn’t a literal video game, but the same sort of idea.  We are souls in another realm, playing life in these bodies for the honor of making it through the challenges of the hardest game anyone has ever played.  And then we bump it up to expert mode and master it.

This means that in that other realm, you are already there with your loved ones.  Time doesn’t matter.  In the multiverse theory that many scientists believe may be possible, the rules of physics, time, and space, do not necessarily conform to the rules of physics we here in this universe must follow.  The other realm is another universe.  When a loved one leaves here to the other realm, you all are likely sitting together aware of the fact that the loss you feel here isn’t actually real.  They watch you continue to play for a little bit as they chill out, grab a snack, and decide which level and mode on which they want to rejoin the game.

We are the characters in the game.  We don’t know that it’s not real.  We do not get to know what our souls are doing in the other realm.  We only have the ideas from the signs  and actions our souls have given us as they move us through this game.  From the Easter eggs left in the code by the game designers, the Goddess and the God.  Clues to help us complete the quests of this life through the challenges and the losses that would cause lesser players to hit the reset button.

I know I have taken this video game metaphor a little far.  It isn’t literal, but the only analogy I can use in terms that are easy enough to translate into what we all know.  Of course, in video games, (that we know of), the characters can never become self-aware.  They can never receive messages (other than the directions from the controller) from the player.   They can’t understand that what they are playing is just a game.  I think this game, this game of life we play from the other realm is different in those ways.  It is much more low-tech and advanced.  I believe that we can see it if we are open to it.

Let’s say I am wrong.  I probably am.  It is, admittedly, a pretty wild type of theory.

Death still is not the end of this.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it merely changes forms.

This, of course, is little comfort when you are experiencing a loss.  It doesn’t change the feeling of absence you have.  It doesn’t change the fact that you can’t enjoy the ones you lose in the same ways you have known and loved.  It does not change the emptiness you feel in your heart when you can no longer see, and talk to, and hold them.

But hopefully, one day, you can take some comfort in knowing that death is not the end.  There is no end.  There is no beginning.  Nothing ever dies, it merely changes forms.

Blessed Be.

 

Crystal Worshiping Hippie!

Hello dear reader(s)!

It was 1980-something and my mom was going to go out with one of her friends.  She had a few books about astrology and I remember she was listening to Stevie Nicks.   I think whatever she was wearing had a paisley pattern.

I rolled my eyes so far back in my head, it is a wonder I am not more blind than I am.  (P.S.  The fact I can see at all is also proof that masturbation doesn’t make you go blind.)

Anyway, I completely remember calling my mom a crystal worshiper, and a hippie.

She is kind of an ex-hippie…kind of.  But I did not mean it in a historically accurate sense, rather, as a disparaging remark for those in need of a shower and who think that patchouli is a reasonable substitute for cleaning themselves.  (My mom showered and didn’t stink of patchouli, but the generalization is what is important here.)

Anyway, then I started to grow up a little bit.  I met a girl, and she gave me a crystal necklace with a little yin-yang symbol at the top of it.  She also had a similar crystal necklace (I believe hers was an amethyst), and told me that the crystals were linked and that I would be able to feel her through the crystal when we were apart.

I tried really heard to stifle the laughter.

But I wore the thing, for her, to make her happy.

And then I started to like it.

And soon I felt like it did seem to make me feel more connected to her when we were apart.

Then, as often happens young, that little bit of puppy love ended.  I think I either gave it back or threw it away.  I did not think of another crystal again.

Until a couple years ago, when a very good friend of mine was trying to help me through the overwhelming grief I was feeling at the loss of Hannah.  We were just talking about what we thought happened (if anything) when someone died, and I explained part of my thoughts on it and as it turns out, it sounded similar to what she believed and a variation of what I believe now.  I began to look into it, and found the foundations for my path.

When I made the decision to embrace my path, I made the decision to look into all aspects of it and all associated with it in order to see what worked best for me.  And what did I come to find?

A shit-ton (technical measurement term) of information about crystals.

Okay, I use the word “information” loosely.  It isn’t as though any of this is scientifically proven.

That’s okay, I like them.  I do not worship crystals.  But I do like them.  They do make me feel better.  Now I have a shit-ton of crystals.

20170709_151819
A small portion of the shit-ton.

I also hate the fact we spend so much on our military to protect the corporations’ ability to rape the resources that belong to the people across the globe.  So until there is a war we need to fight again to protect ourselves from tyranny (such as a revolution), I am very anti-war.  I guess that makes me a bit of a hippie.

So, basically, this post is to apologize to my mother.  I am way more of a crystal worshiping hippie than she ever was.  I even like a song or two by Stevie Nicks.

But I don’t wear paisley, and I fucking hate patchouli.

I prefer Sandalwood.

Blessed Be, my friends.

 

 

Using The Full Moon

Hello dear reader(s)!

Tonight, in my area of the world, it is the full moon.  In my path, the night of the full moon is a great time to let go of that which no longer serves you, and so that is what I will be doing.  I intend to let go of my fears and insecurities that have been holding me back.  There may be more I have to accept letting go of, but that is still unknown to me.

I can only do what is known to me.  I can only prepare for what is.  I have ideas of the future, but I do realize at this point it still is not written.  I will do some spells to cast off my anxiety and inability to accept what is in the present moment.

I will also be doing some spells to help with my self-confidence.  My ego has taken multiple hits and I am getting worn down.  I have to remember that I am good, and I have the power within me to be happy.  Nobody else is responsible for that and nobody else can take it from me if I have it within.  I actually started with that last night, and am making some strides in that direction.

I am reminding myself that I have faced tougher challenges and survived.  Yes, I want to thrive again, but maybe I am pushing too hard.  I am reminding myself that no matter what, I’m going to be okay.

The fact that once again all of this is going on near the full moon just confirms to me that my path is where I belong.  When I step away from it for too long, I spiral out of control.  It is time to regain control of my life and my happiness.  It is time to do the things I know will make me happy and make my life better no matter how unmotivated I may feel.

Later tonight the moon will officially be waning.  After I banish all my fears and insecurities, I will use the time of the darkening nights to seek out ways I can build things for the better once the moon starts waxing again.

If you’re an empath, the full moon likely gets to you.  You may find yourself stressed out and anxious as it approaches.  It doesn’t have to be a stressful time.  You may be wondering what all you should let go of, and what you should keep.  I know that at the full moon in previous times, I have let go of things I may not have wanted to because of the stresses and feelings I had, that may have been unrelated or only partially related to whatever it was I let go of.

It is important to keep in mind that moon cycles come again.  Additionally, there is an entire half-cycle of the moon when it is waning and it may be a better time to release things when you are more focused and calm about what does and does not serve you.  I would advise all of you to only let go of that which you are absolutely certain no longer serves you in the long term.  Use the time of the waning moon for divination and seeing into the things you are not yet certain of.  Do not let the turmoil of the full moon trick you into rushing something that may need more time and clarity to really be certain of whether or not it is a thing you believe should or should not have a place in your life.

So tonight, go with the easy things.  The negative energy.  Fears.  Anxiety.   That which you are absolutely certain does you no good.  There is plenty of time when the tides within you are more stable to be able determine the things you are not quite certain of.  Then, relax.  Take a bath, if you can.  Use Epsom Salts.  Do some calming spells.  Have a good time.  Go outside and draw down the moon for more energy through the waning light.

If you are wanting to banish your fears and anxiety, here is a good base spell.  It’s easy and hardly requires any tools.  As with anything, your path will be different from mine, so tweak it however you feel you should.

  • After casting your circle, light a candle.  I like rose for this, but white works well too.
  • Watch the candle burn and say, “Goddess and God, take my fears, my anxiety and my tears, Burn them down in front of me, As I will, so mote it be.”  Repeat that nine times  (three times three) and visualize your anxiety melting away with the candle.  Let the candle burn out.
  • Thank the Goddess and God for helping empower you and attending your spell and then close your circle.

Take the power and wisdom you receive and try to think about the new beginnings you want to create after the New Moon.

Blessed Be, my friends.

 

 

 

 

Ritual Writing

‘Ello dear reader(s)!

So I’m writin’ a bit of a Beltaine ritual, see yeah, and I got me a bit of an issue…

My mind is clouded by something else.   I am excited to do this here ritual, but my mind is definitely elsewhere.  Every time I try to focus, the thoughts are just piercing through like needles through flesh.

Anyway, the other big problem is that the participants in this here ritual are of many different paths in the whole pagan umbrella, so I am doing my best to keep it as friendly as can be to all, while still maintaining some element of the spiritual.

Speaking of which, did you know that a pagan umbrella is really great for keeping your clothes dry?  I didn’t even know umbrellas really have beliefs, so that came as a shock to me too.

My path is so eclectic, that I know I will be incorporating different bits of my favorites.  Some of the stricter followers of opposing paths may be put off by those, but I will try to include a bit of others to balance.   Some might think I am appropriating their practices, and they would be right.  Given that no definitive proof of any of these specific practices exist to ancient times, anyone who wants to lay claim to one thing or another is full of shit.  Every culture, every path, has certain ways of practicing.  So if they have an issue with it, they can suck it.

The group I am writing this ritual for is not a coven, and really hasn’t done rituals in the past.  We just gather to celebrate the Sabbats and talk with people of similar mindsets.  However, there have been enough requests for something, that I have chosen to volunteer.  I am still, slightly nervous about offending.

Of course, every one of every path there will be welcome, and I hope nobody feels compelled.  I think I will disclaim that anything they do not like they can be silent for if they still want to participate, or can decide not to participate at all if they so choose.  No judgment will be made, because we all know that isn’t our place.

I need to hurry up and get this done, so that I can send an advance copy onto the group administrator to ensure the racy innuendos aren’t too racy, and there is nothing too obvious that would offend the participants or the non-participants.

But I just can’t right now.  My thoughts can’t stay focused.  It’s as if my mind is tied open, waiting for the thoughts that keep invading my head to torture me once more.   Burning, searing into my consciousness.

Fucking Spring.

Ostara Greetings

Hello dear reader(s)!

Blessed Ostara!  Or Happy Spring Equinox!  Or Happy Vernal Equinox, for those of you Vern worshipers.

I’ve decided that I need a Stonehenge.  I think it would a be a really great addition to my local community and I believe it should be installed post-haste.  I would like to see it up on a hill, surrounded by fields.  And none of this half-crumbling shit either.  I think it should be constructed as originally intended.  And I could charge a fee for entry to anyone who wanted to see it except on the equinoxes and solstices when it would be free to all who wish to bask in the glory of the light of the sunrise as it aligns with the structures.

Maybe I should start a Kickstarter.

Tonight I have an Ostara celebration to attend.  I am rather excited, except my post-nasal drip is still bothering me.  It needs to stop, post-haste.

Like the other equinox (that which shall not be named, today anyway, because it isn’t all about that one), today is a day for balance.  That is a good thing, because my post-nasal drip has really fucked up my equilibrium so I can use all the balance I can get.  I do not intend to drink tonight as it would be hard enough to balance during a field sobriety test stone-sober (although being stoned, isn’t exactly sober, so I really don’t get that term).  I shall not be stoned either, unless I got some bad Sudafed.

I intend to do a spell to increase the power of the Sudafed that I shall take so I am hopefully not coughing or spewing mucus all over the new people I meet.  “Blessed (cough!  hack!) Ostara!!!”  {Extends slimy hand outward for people to look at disgustedly before running away.}

The festivities are potluck style, so I need to bring something.  I was thinking deviled eggs, as eggs are traditional to the whole fertility, rebirth aspect of this particular festivity, but deviled eggs are a pain in the ass and need to be kept cool in order not to give everyone Ostaritis, an Ostara specific food poisoning.  I may just do some phallic shaped bread (easy enough, most bread loaves are cock-shaped) and like an artichoke dip or something else low maintenance.

Today is expected to be the last good weather day here for a while.  In fact, this evening, it should rain.  I can live with that.  As long as it doesn’t snow, I will be a happy camper, only I am not camping anywhere.

Today is a good day to grow your intentions, just as a farmer would be growing crops to harvest later.  I need to think about what mine are.  I know a few, but I really need to make them more concrete, as this cement alone is just too weak.  Besides, having an intention like, “I intend to make that woman cum more times that she ever thought possible.” is great and all, just probably not the most beneficial intention to have for my life.

I actually do have a few real goals.  Real goals I am progressing toward despite my post-nasal drip.  I must take those goals and the momentum made toward them and transform them into Autobots.  I must take those goals and combine them to determine what they mean for an overall intention of how I want to live the remaining time I have here in this life.  I must prevent them from transforming into Decepticons.

I need to get up and shower, so I can go get the food.  I need to take Sudafed, so I can make it through the shower.  I need to end this post-nasal drip post-haste, and make it a no-nasal drip.  I need to stop saying things like post-haste.  There, those are my intentions.  That shit was easy.

Blessed Ostara one and all, and to all, a good day or night.  Or both.  You know what?  How about a good as long as you want it to be good?  Why not?  Why should I be stingy with my good wishes?  What are we teaching the children?!?!