If It Is Important To You…

“If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse.” –Ryan Blair

This quote, and other quotes like it, are complete and total bullshit.

It is all nice and good to think that anything you work hard enough toward you can achieve.  It is great to think that things are in your control.  It’s total bullshit, however.

This belief pushed by those who have achieved success that everything is in your control is creating a ton of problems.  It can take away empathy.  It can set a person up for extreme disappointment.  It is just a bald-face lie.

Because the fact of the matter, is that not everything will ever be in our control.

I want B cells and proper blood counts for a functioning immune system so I am not always sick like I am right now.  I can take care of myself.  I can work out.  I can eat right.  I can get enough rest.  I can follow all the advice of my doctors.  Guess what?  None of that is going to give me the counts I need.

I wanted someone other than Donald Trump to be President.  I spoke out here, even supporting Hillary Clinton (despite the fact I was a huge Sanders supporter and know how bad he was screwed over by the idiots on Clinton’s team).  I did everything in my power, and guess what?  I get to live in the end-times of the decline under a President Racist, Homophobic, Misogynist.

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Hannah…we all know how that went.

I wanted to be healthy.  I didn’t smoke, I hardly drank, I exercised, I didn’t do any drugs (until the cancer, that is a different story), and still I got cancer that has permanently wrecked my health.  I do everything I can to mitigate the effects, but as I wrote about the B cells, it isn’t all under my control.

There have been plenty of times in my life where I liked someone.  I did everything I could to let those women know that I desired to date them.  I did everything I could to get together with them.  Some, even liked me back.  Maybe there were other complications like distance, or trust issues, or any number of other things that prevented them from actually allowing something to happen.  Since I am not a rapist, it simply wasn’t in my control.

Look at the music industry.  There are a ton of great musicians out there, struggling to make ends meet, probably having to take other jobs to survive, that could play circles around the fucking twats you hear on the radio.  It isn’t for lack of trying, or not wanting it enough.  It is because some asshole decided that their talent wasn’t as important as their looks, or they simply never got the opportunity to play in front of the assholes who make that decision.

Shit fucking happens.  It sucks.  You lose a fuck of a lot more than you win.  I know.  People do fail, and it isn’t always something that they have control over.  It isn’tbecause of not wanting it enough, or making excuses.

Not everything is possible.

Quit this bullshit belief that it is.

Because when the tornado wipes out your town and leaves you with nothing, maybe it’ll be easier not to stick a gun in your mouth if you know it wasn’t your fault.  That the tornado didn’t take your home and the lives of people you loved because somehow you didn’t want your home or those you cared about enough.  When the cancer ravages your body, you might keep fighting knowing that it isn’t happening because you didn’t want enough to be healthy.  When your life’s work is worthless because someone else beat your idea to market with an inferior version but has locked up market share, you won’t feel like you should have just wanted it more.  When you’re watching your loved ones take their last breath, you won’t feel like it is your fault for the rest of your days.

And when you know, that not everything is possible, you can adapt your goals to what is.  You can keep trying if you see possibilities in the face of setbacks of what is possible, rather than continuing to fail at something you should have known was impossible long before.

Not everythng is possible, but once you understand that, you will see that plenty of great things are.

 

 

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