Ritual Writing

‘Ello dear reader(s)!

So I’m writin’ a bit of a Beltaine ritual, see yeah, and I got me a bit of an issue…

My mind is clouded by something else.   I am excited to do this here ritual, but my mind is definitely elsewhere.  Every time I try to focus, the thoughts are just piercing through like needles through flesh.

Anyway, the other big problem is that the participants in this here ritual are of many different paths in the whole pagan umbrella, so I am doing my best to keep it as friendly as can be to all, while still maintaining some element of the spiritual.

Speaking of which, did you know that a pagan umbrella is really great for keeping your clothes dry?  I didn’t even know umbrellas really have beliefs, so that came as a shock to me too.

My path is so eclectic, that I know I will be incorporating different bits of my favorites.  Some of the stricter followers of opposing paths may be put off by those, but I will try to include a bit of others to balance.   Some might think I am appropriating their practices, and they would be right.  Given that no definitive proof of any of these specific practices exist to ancient times, anyone who wants to lay claim to one thing or another is full of shit.  Every culture, every path, has certain ways of practicing.  So if they have an issue with it, they can suck it.

The group I am writing this ritual for is not a coven, and really hasn’t done rituals in the past.  We just gather to celebrate the Sabbats and talk with people of similar mindsets.  However, there have been enough requests for something, that I have chosen to volunteer.  I am still, slightly nervous about offending.

Of course, every one of every path there will be welcome, and I hope nobody feels compelled.  I think I will disclaim that anything they do not like they can be silent for if they still want to participate, or can decide not to participate at all if they so choose.  No judgment will be made, because we all know that isn’t our place.

I need to hurry up and get this done, so that I can send an advance copy onto the group administrator to ensure the racy innuendos aren’t too racy, and there is nothing too obvious that would offend the participants or the non-participants.

But I just can’t right now.  My thoughts can’t stay focused.  It’s as if my mind is tied open, waiting for the thoughts that keep invading my head to torture me once more.   Burning, searing into my consciousness.

Fucking Spring.

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Eye Warship Satin

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you know I worship Satan?  Neither did I.  But apparently I do, according to many Christians.  Which is just amazing to me considering I don’t even believe in Satan.  It is really hard to worship something you don’t believe in.  For example, one time I was with this really dominant woman who I just didn’t trust or believe in at all and…  Well, that is a story for a different blog-type-thing, but let’s just say I did not worship her, despite her demands.

Anyway, a lot of Christian type-people believe that I am a Satan worshiper.  I guess it is because I am not Christian.  If I worshiped Satan, I would hate them as Christians, but I don’t.  I hate them for being closed-minded assholes who call me a Satan worshiper.

What I am is a Pagan.

And I am very happy being a Pagan.  This path chose me, and I like being on it.  You may think I am crazy for it, and you’re probably right.  I don’t care.  I’m not looking to convert anyone.  In fact, I like my circles small.  This path chose me, just under a year ago, although the basics have always been inside.  I don’t try to bring people to my path.  It is mine.  Get your own damn path.  Or don’t.  Whatever.

So this is not one of those posts to explain to people what I believe and what I do not.  Except to say that I am not evil, and I do not worship Satan.  I’m not out there sacrificing animals or babies.  I’m not going to go into your neighborhood and paint symbols all over your property.  I respect your God and your right to believe in it/him/her/cow/etc. until that belief infringes on my right to believe as I choose.

Now, I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking, “Why I am reading this?”

Actually, what I imagine you are thinking right now is, “What is the point of all this inane babbling?”  And maybe you are.  Or maybe it is Satan whispering in my ear despite not believing in him/her/it/cow/etc.  Well, I am glad I imagined you asked.

Because if you’re a friend of mine, you’ve probably noticed all my Facebook posts recently.  You’ve probably noticed how I speak in the terms that come closest to expressing how I view things and how the language of everyday interactions with me has probably changed.  You’ve probably noticed the spells I have posted to remind myself to think of when I need to feel that things are going to be okay.  Or when I feel like I may be involved in something a lot bigger and more important than this single little life.  You may have noticed that I seem to be slightly more at peace when I am not totally freaking out over potential health issues and even when I am, those freak outs last less time and are usually less severe.  You may have even noticed a certain kind of thematic difference in some of my blog posts.  An explanation of things I have felt my whole life but never knew how to word until recently.  And you probably look at it and think I am delusional.

Cool.  Maybe I am.  I could very well be delusional, or mentally ill in more ways than just my PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

But as some dude named Jiddu Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”  (Some dude is his official title, before you all go and get mad at me for being disrespectful.  No, I am lying, it isn’t.  But still no disrespect intended or else I wouldn’t be quoting him, now would I?)

My path matters to me.  Is it illogical?  Of course it is.  Some logic could be applied to the overall concepts, but logically for some of the other things?  I’m not that stupid.

But if it isn’t hurting anyone, can’t it be nice to believe in the illogical?  If it provides someone comfort in such a hateful, awful society, should I care if you don’t like my beliefs?  Well, whether I should or not doesn’t matter because I don’t.  The best thing about my path is this:

“An it harm none, do what ye will.”

I’ve talked about that before.  You don’t have to believe as I do for that to make a profound impact on your life and on the lives of people in general.

You like crystals?  Cool.  You like this kind of music?   Cool, I don’t, but as long as you’re not forcing me to listen what do I care?  You like monogamy?  Cool.  You like polyamory?  Cool.  You like tea?  I don’t get it, but fine.  Don’t force me to drink a cup.  You like having lots of sex?  Great!  Call me. (Just kidding, I am not really looking at this time.)  You don’t?  Great, call me to hang out platonically.  You like to shoot people?  NOT FUCKING COOL.  Get it?  You like to tell people you are sending healing energy their way or are sending a spell when they ask for thoughts and prayers?  Cool.  And if they don’t want it, fine.  You go outside and talk to the trees sometimes?  So do I.  Don’t call the mental institution people, I am not a danger to myself or others.  You like Tarot?  I think it’s pretty neat.  Whether or not I actually believe the cards are a conduit to the Goddess and God (in my case) really doesn’t matter.

The great part about this particular and extremely important part of my path, is that for this one, you don’t have to be Pagan at all.

Because chances are, if you believe in any God at all, you can have faith that your God will have things covered in whatever afterlife you believe in.  Your God might even make mention that it’s not your fucking place to judge as imperfect as your punk-ass is.

And if you don’t believe in any God?  You can still take this to heart.  Change the wording if you need to.  Try “I’m not hurting anyone, and neither are you, so I’m not going to be a judgmental prick.”

Blessed Be, my friends.