Sex And Magick

Hello dear reader(s)!

Let’s start with a warning for those who freak out of over the concept of sex…

WARNING:  This post talks about sex baby.  It talks about you and me.  It talks about all the good things and the bad things that can be.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  

That’s protected by parody laws, FYI.

If you’ve been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, I feel very bad for you.  But that’s not the point here.  If you have been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you know that I am someone who is proudly sex-positive.

Being sex-positive, I view sex positively.  It’s right there in the words.  You’d know that if you paid attention in class.  I think nothing is inherently wrong between consenting adults with full knowledge of everything involved.

What is really cool (besides me), is that in my spiritual path, sex is viewed positively.  In fact, Beltaine is coming.  And Beltaine, is a very sexual Sabbat.  Sure it is the halfway point of the year, but in marking the changes that are taking place at that time, sex is certainly a huge a part of it all.  The bees are pollinating.  Taking away the flowers by taking their pollen and fertilizing the plants that will bear fruit.  If that doesn’t bring sex to mind, then you are a far cleaner thinker than I and I feel bad for your partner(s).

In my path, you can even practice magick using sex, called…wait for it, sex magick.  (I know, right?  Who would’ve thought magick during sex would be called sex magick?  That’s just totally unrelated!)  Anyway, I am not going to go into the practice of sex magick.  I am not an instruction manual, unless someone specific wanted a lesson, and called me “teacher”.  Maybe just showed up one day, like today.  And said, “Teacher, can you teach me sex magick, pleeeeeease?”  Maybe then.  Maybe.  If she was lucky.

But you don’t have to practice sex magick or be pagan to know sex is a kind of magic in and of itself.   (Notice the change to just magic, without the K.  That was intentional.  See, things can be magical but not magick.  It’s an interesting distinction.  Like a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always square.  I am getting off topic here.  Shapes get me all worked up.  Mmmm.  Quadrilaterals…..)

Sex bonds most people.  (Better than duct tape, even.)  It can keep connections strong.  It can allow people to feel safe and comfortable.  It can allow people to explore what is inside of themselves.  (How did that get in there?!?!)  It can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner(s) and yourself.  (Nice and deep…)  It can be an outlet for your deepest emotions and desires.  (Butter pecan ice cream?!?)

And sex can hurt.  If used improperly, it is capable of great harm.  Sex is powerful, and must be treated with respect.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – The rice guy.

Anything so powerful is magical.

In witchcraft, the acts you do, the spells you do, matter far less to the determination of whether it is light or dark magick than your intent.   (Which isn’t to say that anything you do in the name of magick is acceptable.  Like, no playing Nickelback during a spell or something equally horrific like live sacrifice.)

The same could be said for sex.  The acts, while they can be wonderful, (very, very wonderful, if you’re with me, baby…), matter far less than your intent.

You don’t have to be a follower of my path or a believer in magic to know that sex is powerful.  Even if you are a member of a more puritanical system of beliefs, you know that much of trying to control sex is based on the power it can have over someone.  Or the power it can give them.

But it’s my opinion that there is nothing wrong with power if you use it properly.  Whether it is magical power, sexual power, political power (can we please get someone to use that properly?), or any other kind of power.

Taking power over our lives, our bodies, and our desires is our right.  It can lift us up and remind us that we are feeling, passionate human beings.  It can remind us of what is within us that makes up a huge part of who we are.  It can also make us feel really fucking good.

For as much as sex is shied away from in our society, it is important to remember that we are only here because of the magic of sex.  Just because the sex you have isn’t intended to reproduce, it is not accident that in the right combination it is literally why we are here.  Fortunately, not every type of sex or every sex act is intended to cause reproduction.  The world is overpopulated enough as it is, and not everyone is intended to reproduce.  That is magic.

Straight sex, gay sex, self sex, monogamous sex, poly sex… if it is something between consenting adults who are fully aware of the factors at play, you are feeling the magic.  (If you are not totally selfish, your partner(s) is/are too.)  If your intentions are good, rough sex, vanilla sex, whatever you like, is good, positive magic and you should be proud to be living a magical life.

I hope this season is very magical for all of you.   😉

I leave you with a little mood music.

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10216975

Dear Trump Voters,

The people in your life either think that you are too functionally idiotic to tie your own shoes, or that you are a racist piece of shit.  In most cases, it is probably a little of both.  I would say the ones still in your life are probably leaning toward the former, unless they too, are racist pieces of shit.

What has your savior accomplished?

  • The ACA remains in place and as broken as ever.
  • Families are being split apart by the jack-booted thugs at ICE and LEGAL RESIDENTS are shot in their amateur-hour raids.  Not enough people torn apart to make your jobs come back, (as if that was ever the reason they were taken anyway), but enough to make us look like fucking Nazis to the rest of the world.
  • Millions of dollars were wasted in a fireworks show causing no real damage in which Russia was tipped who tipped Assad solely to distract from the likelihood that the Trump campaign and Russia colluded to engage in dirty tricks to influence the election.
  • The LGBTQ community is being harassed in levels not seen since the AIDS panic.  A futile effort to get rid of those who are no threat to you.
  • Sean Spicer has publicly, as the mouthpiece for our head of state, denied the Holocaust.  Remember when you rabid asshats were calling for war with Iran and were touting Ahmadenijad’s holocaust denial as evidence the entire country needed to be bombed?  Well, using your logic, that’s now us.
  • Our allies are beginning to hate us, and our enemies are being threatened on Twitter by a petulant man-child.
  • Russia may be acting upset with us for Trump’s little light show, or may be trying to deflect from their relationship, but regardless, when two countries armed the way we are happen to be posturing in the same area… things can go horribly wrong.

What hasn’t he accomplished?

  • Are you closer to the heavily marketed American Dream based on anything he has done?
  • Are the coal jobs coming back?
  • Is crime over?
  • Is your child’s school any better?
  • Are the roads and bridges any better because of his actions?
  • Are you safer?

No, the only thing he has done, is made you aware of the other hateful and stupid fucks out there who were hiding in the shadows.

About Sean Spicer today, and Trump in general…  Many people have brought out Hanlon’s razor when I call them both evil.  If you don’t know it, (and if you’re a Trump supporter, that is a near-certainty), it is, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

In other words (so hopefully you Trump supporters can understand), “They ain’t evil, they just stupid”.

Because some people are stupid.  Some people misspeak.  But some people know that they are not cut out to be the motherfucking PRESS SECRETARY of the Untied States of America if they can’t do something as simple as realizing that Hitler killed 6 million Jews with chemical weapons.

Some people know they are not cut out for the job when they can’t hire someone whose job it is to talk for a living without saying some of the most reprehensible shit imaginable.  Some people are good enough people to put their fellow people over their ego.

So even if Trump is on the same brain-level as an amoeba, applying for the job, dividing the nation in the process, and taking the job was an act of malice against the people of this country and people all over the world.

And to you, the Trump supporters.  Even if you feel conned… even if you weren’t trying to be racist or xenophobic, or authortarian, or anti-human rights. or homophobic, or a Christian supremacist when you cast your ballot for him, the very fact you voted in such an uniformed and gullible way is an act of malice against the rest of your country.

You get no sympathy from me when his shit affects you too.

For The Last Time, People Don’t Suck!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Have you ever dealt with one of those people who just hates everyone?  Who thinks humanity is just a plague that needs to be cleansed from the planet?  Has dealing with them ever made you wonder why they just don’t start with themselves even though you hate the thought of someone actually committing suicide (with the exception of the Trump administration and his Congressional pets)?

I will admit, people can suck.  We have done horrible things to each other, to animals, and to the environment we rely on to sustain us.  People can be selfish, hateful, unfeeling, awful people.  They can be.

And those awful people. those that drop chemical weapons, those that manufacture those weapons, those that covertly supply those weapons, those that then put on a multi-million dollar fireworks show in what they claim is a response to the use of those weapons but is really just an attempt to distract from the investigation of collusion between those awful people and those responsible for backing the use of those weapons… those awful people get a lot of attention.

However, there are many, many more of us.  There are those who donate their own blood and organs to save strangers.  There are those that work tirelessly to ensure that people have a place to sleep and food to eat.  There are those who rescue unwanted and abused animals saved from the kinds of awful people that are currently getting all the attention.

The word “awful” has to be put in front of people when I write of the awful people because to call them simply people is to assign a humanity to them which they are clearly lacking.  I don’t have to put the word “good” in front of people to say that most people do not suck.

People have power.  People are being misled by awful people into thinking they do not.  People are being turned into awful people by the awful people in order to keep them from retaking the power that rightfully belongs to them.

Prior to the United States Civil War, then Presidential nominee Abraham Lincoln famously said that a house divided against itself cannot stand.  The awful people know this and are using it to break the will of the people.

They feed us stories of tragedy and terror.  Fear and suffering.  Hatred and evil.  A constant twenty-four hour barrage of information analyzed and justified by paid pundits to do one thing and one thing only… keep the people from seeing that most of us, just want to live in peace and take care of themselves and their loved ones.  That most people do not suck.  That if we could all understand who is keeping us from a better life in peace, things would change very rapidly.

At the end of a news segment, you have one short story about something good.  A puff piece designed to cover their agenda.   A way to pretend they have balance in their coverage.

Most news stories aren’t even useful news.  Rarely does a news entity cover who is backing a candidate’s run for office, what they received in donations, how those donations corresponded to their votes, what bills are being presented at state and local levels that receive bi-partisan support, or anything else that will help to keep an informed citizenry.

Instead, the news is filled with stories designed to scare you.  Shootings.  Bombings.  A conveniently placed next story about refugees or immigration and then you have people fearing those who they need not fear.  You do not hear about how sociopathic someone must be to fire hundreds of millions of dollars in cruise missiles to boost their poll numbers while cutting programs to help people eat.  You do not hear about how absolutely evil someone must be to drop bombs on a country because their government massacres them while leaving our doors closed to those who flee.   You are fed stories designed to make you fear the man on your block or the poor person in another country, instead of the people who can and will order the deaths of hundreds of people because they are where your buddies want to build an oil pipeline.

People do not suck.  People are awesome.  People are powerful.  Awful people suck.  Right now, the awful people are winning because they are successfully convincing some people that the threat is the people just trying to get by like themselves, and not the ones who are pulling all the strings.

The problems aren’t created by the poor people.  They aren’t created by the middle class or the upper-middle class; they aren’t even created by the rich.  But the ultra-rich in this world, I can guarantee you, have done some very horrible things to amass that amount of wealth.  No matter how they try to make up for it on the back-end with their foundations (even if most are just for publicity), they never would have gotten there without destroying lives.  By holding onto so much of it, they destroy even more.

People don’t suck.  People are being forced to compete for the scraps left behind by the awful people.  They are forced to undercut each other to sell their labor for nothing more than a chance at survival.  People become desperate, and may do some things that suck.  But people, in general, do not suck.

Awful people suck, and one day, I sincerely hope that people raid their palaces and suck away all of their ill-gotten gains.

And then I’ll be okay with those people who think people suck.

Dreaming

Hello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for my failure to post yesterday.  I was working on a song and lost track of time before I started to get to the point where I had to get up and actually do things.  I am cooking dinner tonight for some people and I needed to get to the store to get the food necessary.  After that, I had game night with a group of some of my friends.  When I got home I talked with a very close friend until a lot later than I realized, and then I fell asleep.  Hard.

And no sooner than I shut my eyes, (I imagine based on the number of and length of dreams I had), I started dreaming.  I dream almost every night.  Sometimes, the dreams seem to be prophetic, but often, they are dreams I want to dream since I am pretty good at lucid dreaming most nights, or at the very least, setting up nice dreams to avoid the occasional nightmares I have.

But last night’s dreams were very different.  A lot of imagery, less reality than usual, and a lot of symbolism.  They were incredibly vivid, but more surreal than most of the dreams I typically have.  Strange colors and different worlds.  No real people, but a recognition of people in my life in the strange beings that inhabited the world in my dreams.

Each time I woke up from these dreams, I was smiling.  Grinning, is more accurate.  I took note of some of the imagery, the colors, the events, and the feelings.  When I actually woke up for long enough to start the day this morning, I started to consult my sources and research some of the symbolism that these dreams contained.

According to everything I checked, between the psychological and the mystical, these were great dreams, with excellent hidden meaning.  I certainly hope they are prophetic.  The dreams were about the culmination of struggle, not just for me, but some of the others close to me.  They were about the universe letting me know that while we never continue learning in this life, the difficult lessons are going to be taking a back seat to the lessons of happiness.

I’ve already been feeling it, but these dreams extend to those close to me, and bring things to a new level.

There have been major shifts throughout history.  The pendulum swings, and I really feel like it is swinging back.  I’ve said before that I think a lot of the turmoil and darkness currently in power in the world is so awful and forceful right now because it knows that it is in decline.  The old systems of power at all costs and disregard for others is going to fade, and those who profit of it are so desperate to cling to it that they amplify their darkness more than ever.  I believe it will all be futile, if we survive their reactionary tantrums.  I am convinced that a shift is taking place there.

But my dreams make me think the pendulum is swinging back on a more personal level as well.  When I really realized what was important to me, I began to put out a certain energy into the universe that attracted those who have the same priorities, and repelled those opposed.  It was difficult.  I have lost friends that were once important to me.  But I realized their priorities didn’t align with mine.  Maybe they changed, maybe I did, but eventually, everything that mattered to me, they seemed to be in opposition to.  I had some lonely times, wondering if maybe I was wrong for thinking the things I thought were important really were.

I persisted, trusting the lessons from my path.  It is better to let go of that which no longer serves you than to hang on.  But, until recently, I wondered if I would have the kind friendships and connections that would serve me.  I wondered if I could be the kind of friend or connection that would serve others.

Finally, I have begun to find my tribe.  I have solidified existing friendships with those that seem to care about other people and the things that are important to me, and I have made amazing new friends with those kinds of people as well.  The pendulum is swinging back in my life, just as I believe it is about to in the greater world.  The dreaming seems to indicate that it is gathering momentum.

In thinking about it, I wonder if that is how we change the world.  We focus on the relationships we have close.  We continue to pay attention to the world, and the happenings in it, we continue to use our voices, we continue to resist those who would plunge it into darkness…but we show light to the people near us.  We find our collective tribes and raise our vibrations to show others the happiness that can be achieved when people let go of the darkness they cling to in order to maintain their notions of power.

Dreaming is great.  Sometimes they come true, sometimes they don’t.  I hope the dreaming I did last night does.  It feels like it already is.  Maybe it will.  One thing I know for certain, is that your dreams don’t come true if you don’t keep dreaming.

So keep dreaming, and change the world for the better.

Song A Day Challenge Day 1

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am in a great mood this morning.  Perhaps it is the new moon in Aries.  Perhaps it is the partly cloudy skies.  Perhaps it is the fact that the store trip I made this morning was relatively easy and quick.  Perhaps it is because they had bison.  Perhaps it is the coffee.  Perhaps it is the happiness of having great friends.  Perhaps it is my overuse of the word “perhaps”.  Who cares?  It is a beautiful day!

Yesterday I talked about feeling like I wanted to go on an adventure.  One of the comments was that it was likely Spring Fever.  I give some weight to that theory, and certainly think it might be a factor.  But, I also think it is just the solidification of a philosophy.  A defining and clarification of what the meaning of life is to me.

I have all kinds of theories of what life should mean.  I have my own ideas about how the universe works, and what our place in it means.  Other people have their own ideas.  But when you take away those things that are merely ideas, those ideas and feelings we have, there is only one thing we can know for certain.  We are alive.  Therefore the only reason for life we can determine with total certainty is that we are here to live.  What is living, but not experiencing what we can in the time we have?  We all have a common fate, in this life, with these bodies.  We will all die.  This is something we can not escape.  What happens next, if anything, is something we all have our own ideas about.  The only thing we can prove, is that we are alive now.  We are alive, and that is the meaning of life.  We must live.

Yes, we weigh how much we want to live based on a balance of how much time we think we have to experience things verses how much we can experience.  We plan for a future that we do not know we will experience, but we place odds on in a bet against death.  We decide that we can experience more over a long lifetime, than in a couple of days.  And likely we can.  It is a balancing act, for certain.  But I think that too often we are overly cautious.  We try to extend our lives to such a degree that we take away our ability to experience things.  I think we need to work toward finding a better balance of risk and reward.

You really see that clearly when you almost lose your life way before you thought you ever would.  You look at the caution with which you lived with disdain.  When I was diagnosed with cancer at 34, a cancer not linked to lifestyle or anything else, I suddenly felt like I spent far too much time worrying about the future.  I finally got that it isn’t promised.

Again, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have goals.  It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think ahead a little.  You have to balance it.  If you just did everything you wanted in a day without thought or regard to the future, you wouldn’t last very long, and you would fail to experience very much at all.

What it does mean, however, is that you can’t waste the present moment you have worrying about a future you may never see.  This is easier said than done, I know, but it is important.  Find a balance between the present and thought of being able to experience more as time goes by.  If your reason to live is to live, than thoughts of how you are going to survive is vital.  But if all you do is survive, well you are not really living.

I feel very happy knowing that.  I feel like I understand now why I grow restless sometimes.  I feel like I have a good grasp on what I want out of life for me.  I know the experiences I like, I want more.  I know what I don’t, because I have tried them.  There are plenty of things out there I don’t know about that I want to experience.  There are some I know about and don’t want to experience simply from experiencing the stories from those who have.

I am not going to be afraid of that which I do not know.  I am going to use my reason to keep a balance, but I am going to live this life.  I am going to say “yes” to things more often, within reason.  I am going to make all days as beautiful as I can, and not waste this life in worry.

I was challenged to do a song a day challenge for 5 days.  I accept, but I want to make the songs an emphasis on a thought I would have already posted about that day.  I was challenged by the wonderful A Momma’s View, go check out that excellent blog.

The rules are:

  • Post a song a Day for five consecutive days
  • Post what the lyrics mean to you ( optional)
  • Post the name of the song and video 
  • Nominate two different bloggers each day of the challenge.

Today’s song is Let’s Live For Today by The Grass Roots

Today I nominate Shopgirl Anonymous, and Jewish Books are Awesome.  Y’all don’t have to accept, of course.

Invisible

Hello dear reader(s)!

I’m feeling kinda lousy today.  I have felt lousy most days since the end of my trip.  Yesterday, I went to the bank, and had to go inside.  The banker asked me what I did for a living when I asked about a direct deposit, and I told her I was disabled.  She looked at me in a way that I could tell she didn’t believe me, or thought I was “gaming the system”.

I was showered, I was smiling.  I spoke clearly and effectively.  My clothes were clean.  I felt terrible, but it didn’t show.  It was about the only thing I did yesterday.  I got there about four in the afternoon and it took me all day beforehand to work up the strength and energy to leave the house.  In that instant, she knew none of that.

The issues that make up my disability are invisible.  My kidney damage doesn’t cause a limp.  My cataracts only show up when a light is shined in them.  The memory issues that continue to plague me can’t be seen.  My gastrointestinal issues are on the inside.  The fatigue can’t be seen.  My poor immune system and lack of B cells do not show up on the skin.

Yes, on occasion, I can be a functioning human.  I can occasionally exist in the world, sometimes even days at time.  But when I do, I pay a heavy price.  A little activity leads to a lot of downtime.  Being around too many other people is risky.  A cross-country road trip makes me vulnerable to whatever little bugs most people can fight off may be out there.

I took the trash to the curb early this morning, and it just about killed me.  All of the sinus issues were aggravated by the cold early morning air, and I spent the next 15 minutes in a coughing fit gasping for air.  But all of this is rarely seen.

If you see me out in public, I look healthy.  Healthier than a lot of people, actually.  But looks are deceiving.  I am far from healthy.  People see that I have a bit of muscle mass, and that I am not carrying a ton of fat (plenty, but not a ton), and just assume that everything must be okay.  They have no idea what it took just to get through the shower and get dressed and ready to go out in public that day.  They have no idea what the next few days will be like for me because I dared to go to a friend’s house, or the grocery store, or the post office.

The disabled in this country are treated like shit.  Unless you are in a wheelchair with an American flag flying from it and a hat from whatever ship you were once stationed on, nobody even believes you are really disabled.  I paid into Social Security.  It is insurance.  The process is not at all easy and requires actual proof.  I am on Medicare now, and people think it is a damn entitlement.  It isn’t.  It is a fucking insurance policy that I paid into and had to take because I got fucking cancer and the treatment fucked me up.  That’s it.

Disability is looked down upon so much, that almost all Medicare Advantage and Medicare Supplement plans act as if only Senior Citizens should get Medicare.  Some of the Medicare Advantage plans in places I have lived even have Senior in their titles.  Almost all include some gym membership called something like Silver Sneakers or some other bullshit that totally ignores the disabled segment of people on their plans.  Then they sell your information to AARP so that they can send you their junk mail with all of the other pieces of unnecessary paper that never needs to be sent.  Yes, fuck you Humana, you inhumane profiteer, pieces of shit.

Then you have fucks like Paul Rand Ryan trying to pit the rest of the country against us.  Trying to privatize Medicare and Social Security because the money we paid in was raided by all of those career politicians to pay for their pet-projects.  They want to tell us what to eat, what medicines we should be taking over the advice of our doctors, and how we should spend our insurance money.

Listen here motherfuckers, if I scrimp and save all month-long, live with a roommate, and don’t buy a ton of other expensive shit in order to do it, if I go out to dinner and order a steak with my insurance money, that’s none of your fucking business.

I am not the reason your taxes are high.  Your taxes are high because you elect fuckers who give welfare to corporations.  Your taxes are high because the US has to have bases all over the motherfucking globe to protects its “interests”.  Your taxes are high because your gigantic military is basically a publicly subsided private security firm for international corporations.  Your taxes are high because payroll taxes are capped at $127,200.  Not because of my insurance.

The issues that make up my disability are invisible.  I, however, am not.  The other disabled people, are not.  As much as you might like them to be, we are not going to be.  We will fight for the respect and treatment that we deserve, whenever we are able.

 

The N-Word

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think it is ever appropriate to use the N-word?  I do.  In fact, I think we all need to use the word more often.  I don’t think that we need to be as afraid of the word as we are.  I think I am going to use it right now.

No.

See?  That wasn’t so hard, was it?  Let’s do it again!

No.

What word did you think I meant?

That word?  Are you fucking crazy?!?!  I’m not using that word.  I was talking about the word “No”.  It starts with “N” too.  And we don’t use it enough.

It is okay to say no.  It really is.

Sometimes people ask you do something you are not comfortable doing.  You say yes, because you don’t want to seem rude.  You need to say no.  Sometimes people ask you to do something that you may not be capable of doing, or that you will not do your best.  Sometimes your boss wants you to take on an extra project and you’re already buried with your job and maybe some other extra thing you did.  It is okay to say no.  I mean, you might not want to to just say, “No.”, but you can say, “You know I already have this going, I’m waiting on (Insert someone slowing you down) over in Receivables to sign off so I can cut this and I am already taking on (Someone else’s thing that you decided to help out with), so I do not think I will be able to get to that in the time and quality it deserves, you may want to see if someone else can handle it.  And at that point, your boss may tell you to do it anyway, and that is when you can negotiate on moving other things around, giving you more time, or more money.  But if you just said, “Okay.”, you would be kinda fucked right now, huh?

I’ve actually been on kind of the opposite kick lately.  Especially when someone offers some fun time or experience, I have been challenging myself to say yes more often.  As long as I think I am capable, I have been saying yes to offers to go hang out, or have a party, or other fun experiences.  Even if it is something that may not be what I know I like, I have been saying yes in order to experience more and try more things.   It has been a lot of fun.  But I always reserve the right to say no.  The past few days, I have had that horrible sinus issue.  It is quite a bit better today, fortunately, but if anyone would have asked me to go hang out, I would have said no.  I wouldn’t have felt bad about it.  I get tired, and I need to take care of myself, especially when I am sick.

“No” needs to be respected.  Consent applies to everything.  It isn’t just about sex.  When someone says no, we need to understand that there is nothing wrong with the person who is saying it.  No, they may not want to go drinking.  No, they may not feel up for having sex that night.  No, they may just want to stay home and take care of themselves.  No, they might have accidentally fallen down a flight of stairs and really need you to come take them to the hospital but hopefully in that case they say would say more than “no”.  They do not owe us an explanation, although it can certainly be nice, especially if they need a ride to the hospital rather than whatever you asked them to do.

And “no” needs to be said.  Do not tell someone “sure” when you really mean “no”.  Do not make plans with someone you have no intention of keeping.  Things do come up.  I know.  I am a person who regularly says “yes” to things and later has to cancel because of some health concern.  I hate that.  My friends understand that it comes with me due to my issues.  But when I say “yes”, I always intend it to be “yes”.  I never say “yes” when I know it will become a “no”.

So get out there!  Use the N-word!  “No”!  Not the other one, geeze, did you even read this?  Don’t go use the other one.  Say “No”!