The REAL Men

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am not a REAL man!  The comments section on the intertubes certainly seem to think so, anyway.  I think every dumb fucking redneck in the country has told me that since Hollywood has been blowing up about sexual assault and harassment, although it has been going on really ever since I first suggested people are their own business.  It is because I believe women are treated like fucking shit in our society and it’s not even right, or natural given their importance to humanity.  I guess being against sexual assault and pedophilia is also a bad thing, according to these REAL men.  And apparently, being sex-positive, for equality, and for body autonomy is an automatic revocation of my REAL man card.  (Because only men decide what REAL men are, and if those REAL men are lucky, they get cards.  It’s like Valentine’s Day in elementary school, but for misogynists.)

I know I am not totally above the fray.  I am certain that in my early teen years I went along with the lewd comments about the girls who were my friends.  I probably said a few things to fit in, too.  Every boy did.  And I know for a fact that the word “fag” was a regular part of my vocabulary before I even knew what it was supposed to mean.  It’s what was expected.  That belief that anything but the patriarchal view of masculinity is wrong happens to be everywhere, and is being promoted.  I’ve never whipped out my cock to masturbate in front of the girls I liked, I’ve never grabbed them by their pussy, or any other body part, I’ve never assaulted them, but did I make some feel uncomfortable?  I’ve never hit a kid for being gay, or even openly purposely made fun of anyone who my peers suspected, but did I ever help make them feel unaccepted?  I’ve never been called out for that, but that means nothing, given how normal this behavior is within our society.

I would say that it is pretty likely that I have offended someone before with a little too many “jokes”, or a little too much “flirting”.  If any woman from my past is reading this, and I made you feel uncomfortable, I cannot express how sorry I am.  I would say that is pretty likely I have offended people with a non-textbook definition of patriarchal gender roles and orientations when calling someone a “fag” for something completely unrelated to my perception of their or any bystanders’ heteronormativity.  For that, I also offer my sincerest apologies.

However, unlike the REAL men, I grew the fuck up.  I learned it was wrong, and adjusted my attitude to understand that we are not entitled to anyone’s bodies, attention, time, or anything else they choose not to give us.  It didn’t take me until a media storm to realize it, or decades into adulthood when I should have fucking known better.

I’m not a REAL man because I accept the truth.  It is a simple truth, but because of our fucked-up society, it is actually quite controversial.  That truth is, “People don’t fucking belong to you.

Anyway, because I say this, I guess I am not a REAL man.  Apparently, I am a libtard, sissy, beta, cuck.  In fact, this has become a common “insult” string from the alt-right (Nazis) to any man who doesn’t believe that hyper-“masculine” white males are superior to anyone else.

Hmmm, okay, let’s break this “insult” down.

Libtard.  This is a combination of the word “liberal” (fuck you, I’m a Democratic Socialist, thank you), and “retarded”.  By retarded, I can only assume they mean the pejorative for someone who is less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is usual for ones age.  It is important to note the people who use this word likely had to look up “pejorative” to even understand what I just said.

Sissy.  Well, I seriously doubt they mean a little sister (which I am not), so I am guessing they mean a weak and effeminate man, or someone into that particular kink.  So, to the first, yes, I am weak.  Surviving something that would make you put a bullet through your head can do that to someone.  Effeminate?  Well, I think most traits are human traits, so I am not even really sure that what means.  I would say based on the incorrect and arbitrary assignment of those traits to prospective genders and the constant reinforcement of those assignments in all of our culture, I likely still end up with more traditionally “masculine” traits than the falsely named “feminine” ones.  Or perhaps they mean transvestite or transexual, which I am not, to either.  However, I fail to see the insult there.  So what if someone is, or is not any one or all of those things?

Beta.  Oh don’t even get me started on this one.  I’ll just let Adam Conover help me out on this one.

Cuck.  Of course.  It’s like the Nazi insult du jour.  This word comes from the fetish of cuckolding, which for those who pretend to have never heard about it, (search tracking proves you’re probably lying), is basically a fetish wherein a man chooses to remain faithful to his significant other as he accepts her having sex outside the relationship, or encourages it.  There are various degrees of this fetish, and variations to include all partnered sexes and orientations, but it boils down to consensual activity between adults.  The fact that these people who use that as an insult typically support Presidential candidates that brag about sexual assault, or Senatorial candidates that are alleged pedophiles, should speak volumes.  Bottom line, I do not find this word to be insulting.  Just because I hope to be my love’s everything, doesn’t mean I disrespect those who would rather their significant other has more than they can offer.

So even though I fit none of the “insults” above, the fact of the matter is that I do not think any of those things are something insulting anyway.  (Except maybe the “libtard”, because liberals abandoned labor in favor of corporate cash, and I don’t think anyone should made fun due to developmental differences.)  The point is, if these REAL men think that anyone who fits how they use these words should be insulted, it also means that a REAL man must be a misogynist, homophobic, puritanical douche-canoe.

If being a REAL man means that I need to think that women are required to give us anything they do not wish to do so freely, or that anything we have mislabeled as feminine is to be derided, or that sexual activities between consenting adults are any of our business, then those REAL men can take their little man cards and send them to the people who are worried that they may be be forced into the unisex bathrooms in the FEMA camps during Operation Jade Helm with only their precious man cards to save them from the possibility of having to pee next to a transexual made in a liberal conspiracy to end all males using chemtrails.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go to a DNC donor meeting in my pink, frilly dress.  I’ll just stand there really passively while a fictional alpha man fucks my significant other with his AR-15.  Then I’m running right home to cash my check from George Soros!

I would feel much less ashamed about any of that than I would for thinking that those who don’t fit some bullshit version of masculinity is inferior.  Long story slightly less long, I would rather be a liberal, sissy, beta, cuck, than a racist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, white-trash, ignorant, Trump supporting asshole, any day of the week.  Especially on Sundays, because Jesus.








Sex And Magick

Hello dear reader(s)!

Let’s start with a warning for those who freak out of over the concept of sex…

WARNING:  This post talks about sex baby.  It talks about you and me.  It talks about all the good things and the bad things that can be.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  

That’s protected by parody laws, FYI.

If you’ve been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, I feel very bad for you.  But that’s not the point here.  If you have been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you know that I am someone who is proudly sex-positive.

Being sex-positive, I view sex positively.  It’s right there in the words.  You’d know that if you paid attention in class.  I think nothing is inherently wrong between consenting adults with full knowledge of everything involved.

What is really cool (besides me), is that in my spiritual path, sex is viewed positively.  In fact, Beltaine is coming.  And Beltaine, is a very sexual Sabbat.  Sure it is the halfway point of the year, but in marking the changes that are taking place at that time, sex is certainly a huge a part of it all.  The bees are pollinating.  Taking away the flowers by taking their pollen and fertilizing the plants that will bear fruit.  If that doesn’t bring sex to mind, then you are a far cleaner thinker than I and I feel bad for your partner(s).

In my path, you can even practice magick using sex, called…wait for it, sex magick.  (I know, right?  Who would’ve thought magick during sex would be called sex magick?  That’s just totally unrelated!)  Anyway, I am not going to go into the practice of sex magick.  I am not an instruction manual, unless someone specific wanted a lesson, and called me “teacher”.  Maybe just showed up one day, like today.  And said, “Teacher, can you teach me sex magick, pleeeeeease?”  Maybe then.  Maybe.  If she was lucky.

But you don’t have to practice sex magick or be pagan to know sex is a kind of magic in and of itself.   (Notice the change to just magic, without the K.  That was intentional.  See, things can be magical but not magick.  It’s an interesting distinction.  Like a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always square.  I am getting off topic here.  Shapes get me all worked up.  Mmmm.  Quadrilaterals…..)

Sex bonds most people.  (Better than duct tape, even.)  It can keep connections strong.  It can allow people to feel safe and comfortable.  It can allow people to explore what is inside of themselves.  (How did that get in there?!?!)  It can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner(s) and yourself.  (Nice and deep…)  It can be an outlet for your deepest emotions and desires.  (Butter pecan ice cream?!?)

And sex can hurt.  If used improperly, it is capable of great harm.  Sex is powerful, and must be treated with respect.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – The rice guy.

Anything so powerful is magical.

In witchcraft, the acts you do, the spells you do, matter far less to the determination of whether it is light or dark magick than your intent.   (Which isn’t to say that anything you do in the name of magick is acceptable.  Like, no playing Nickelback during a spell or something equally horrific like live sacrifice.)

The same could be said for sex.  The acts, while they can be wonderful, (very, very wonderful, if you’re with me, baby…), matter far less than your intent.

You don’t have to be a follower of my path or a believer in magic to know that sex is powerful.  Even if you are a member of a more puritanical system of beliefs, you know that much of trying to control sex is based on the power it can have over someone.  Or the power it can give them.

But it’s my opinion that there is nothing wrong with power if you use it properly.  Whether it is magical power, sexual power, political power (can we please get someone to use that properly?), or any other kind of power.

Taking power over our lives, our bodies, and our desires is our right.  It can lift us up and remind us that we are feeling, passionate human beings.  It can remind us of what is within us that makes up a huge part of who we are.  It can also make us feel really fucking good.

For as much as sex is shied away from in our society, it is important to remember that we are only here because of the magic of sex.  Just because the sex you have isn’t intended to reproduce, it is not accident that in the right combination it is literally why we are here.  Fortunately, not every type of sex or every sex act is intended to cause reproduction.  The world is overpopulated enough as it is, and not everyone is intended to reproduce.  That is magic.

Straight sex, gay sex, self sex, monogamous sex, poly sex… if it is something between consenting adults who are fully aware of the factors at play, you are feeling the magic.  (If you are not totally selfish, your partner(s) is/are too.)  If your intentions are good, rough sex, vanilla sex, whatever you like, is good, positive magic and you should be proud to be living a magical life.

I hope this season is very magical for all of you.   😉

I leave you with a little mood music.

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Where I Begin

Grab my head
Hold me down
Take my breath
Make me drown

Tie me up
Turn me red
Make me yours
In this bed

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

Grab my face
Bite my skin
Make me beg
To get in

Bind my wrist
Take my heart
Tear my soul
All apart

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

I want to live in you
I want to leave this world behind
I want to let you know
The darkest corners of my mind

Lay down now
It’s my turn
You don’t know
You will learn

Take this life from you
Make you born again
I want to blur you
Make you forget where you begin

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

©Joshua Wrenn, 2017

Sexually Active

Hello dear reader(s)!

Hello family!  If you are family (blood family), you may want to stop reading here.  Why?  Because I am going to be talking about sex.  And unfortunately, that means you will be having knowledge about the sex life of someone in your family and nobody wants that.  I don’t want to know what gets you off, and I can’t imagine you want to know what does for me, so you might want to go away now.  I love you, though.  This post just isn’t for you.

Okay, are they gone?  Good!  Let’s get dirty!

Also, if you are under 18 or 21 depending on your locality, you should probably go away.  Not that I am going to get crazy explicit, (the dirty thing was mostly a joke), but I have to cover my ass.  So don’t tell anyone that I didn’t tell you not to read further when you get caught.  

Okay, are they gone too?  Good!  Let’s get nasty!

Okay, not really.  I don’t want to make this a porn blog-type-thing (yet) because then I would have to charge and that means building a pay-wall, and having to report income generated, and that would be working, and would require actual work to be put into it which I am still pretty unable to do given the frequency of bad days still from all the cancer treatment damage.  Besides, my man-boobs are not quite supple enough to grace the internet yet.  However, since sex acts and lots of them are a few of my favorite things (way better than raindrops on roses), and I hate censoring, I do want to write about it.

Also, on a societal level, I think our failure to talk openly about sex leads to a lot of problems.  So are you ready?  Good!  Let’s get sexy!

23 years ago yesterday, I lost my virginity.  (Yes, I remember the date.)  I am one of the few people I know who does not regret my first time, and knows that the woman I was with doesn’t either.  Pretty cool stuff.  Of course, the sex wasn’t all that great, but it was special and I loved it.  And as time went along, I learned to do it better.  And then I loved it more.  The more sex I have, the more I want.  I am a greedy slut.

I noticed I have recently been followed by a few blogs that exist solely for kinky reasons.  And that’s awesome!  I am all for people expressing the many, many ways sex can be and how as long as it is between consenting adults, we shouldn’t judge.  I understand why they have followed.  I occasionally mention consensual non-consent and vague BDSM and D/s type themes.  I am sex-positive and have no issues with saying so.  The only worry I have, is that they will get bored.  I am not in any 24/7 lifestyle, and rarely go explicit, even in fiction.

Not that there is anything wrong with doing so.  In fact, if someone’s words can help someone find something within themselves to make their sex lives more enjoyable?  Describe your fucking in as much detail as you can.  As well, because of the old Puritanical influence that causes many people to lie about sex and what they like, it is good to occasionally throw your sex in somebody’s face to prevent someone from being marginalized because they buy a riding crop and nipple clamps.

I’m pretty kinky.  I have always felt that if someone likes what you are doing, or what they are doing to you, and you and your partner(s) are happy with it, then you should do what makes you happy.  There are things I like that some people don’t, and things some like that I wouldn’t ever want to try, but as long as it is between consenting adults, none of us should ever feel ashamed for it.  And none of us should ever have what we like legislated against us either.

If in 23 years my sex consisted solely of missionary, I would fucking hate sex.  And I don’t want to hate sex.  Sex is better (for me) than pretty much anything else with the exception of love.  Sex should be fun.  So why should I feel bad for having fun with sex?  When that not-so-discreet discreet package shows up at my door, why should I be ashamed?

Just the same as if sex isn’t fun for you.  Why should you feel bad for not wanting it?

Do I care that you can only get off if someone spreads butter on you and calls you their little butterball?  Nope.  Am I going to make fun of you because you have a thing for being whipped with banana peels?  Nope.  I might not want to play with you that way, but there is no judgment for you.  But if you force yourself on someone (for real) or try something with a life unable to consent, you are a piece of shit and should probably kill yourself.  Take one for the team.

In my fiction, I tend to write about women who are the aggressors.  If you are reading in and think this means I like to be dominated, well, you are half-right.  I like playing all the ways but dominant women are a little more rare and therefore more fun to write about.  Sometimes I don’t like to play at all.  Sometimes, I just want to make love to someone.  The point here, is to quit reading in.  I do enjoy sex.  I do like to play, but because I write about something, does not make it real.

I like to write.  I like to fuck.  Occasionally the two will collide.  23 years of activity and counting, and I simply do not give a shit if anyone has a problem with that.

For featured image see page for author [CC BY-SA 3.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons



Sexy Consent

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are a regular reader of this here blog-type-thing, you probably have guessed that I think sex is pretty cool.  And by pretty cool, I of course mean that I love it like I love air.  I’ve mentioned before how sex is better with love than without.  But do you know what is even better than that?  Sex, in love, given freely and enthusiastically.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of less than enthusiastic sex?

What about sex where you are practically consumed by the lust of your partner(s)?

Which did you like better?

I’ll take getting consumed by lust everytime, thank you.

I’ve been guilty of giving less than enthusiastic sex.  And I have been on the receiving end of it too.  It sucks, in my humble opinion.  I was married twice.  You all know about Hannah.  But I don’t talk much about my first wife.  I have mentioned her, but I didn’t go into detail and won’t use her name.  I will not trash her on this blog-type-thing, no matter how things turned out.  But the one thing that I can say, is that more than once we both had sex with each other out of nothing more than feeling obligated because the other person wanted it and we were married.

And after the divorce, I swore I would never do that again.  With Hannah, we actually talked about it, early on in our relationship.  We were on the same page.  So if something was wrong, or one of us simply wasn’t in the mood, we agreed we would go without.  Sometimes we would take matters into our own hands, sometimes we would just allow the frustration to make the next experience a little more vigorous.  What we would never do, is pout, or get angry, or blame each other on the surprisingly rare days (given my cancer treatment) that sex just wasn’t in the cards.  And not having those hurt feelings, those feelings of coercion?  Well, that just led to more desire for sex.

Because if I can’t have sex with you, or don’t want to for whatever reason, and you pout about it or attempt to make me feel bad, guess what that does to my desire for you the next time?

Consent doesn’t end because you are in a relationship.  It doesn’t end at marriage.  Your vows do not include marital rape and if they do, your vows are fucked up.

Now this doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to express a little disappointment in wanting to have sex with your love and it not being in the cards.  But you really shouldn’t make the other person feel guilty about it if you want sex with that person again any time soon.  There are ways to show that you wish you were having sex with that person without making them feel bad about that person not being up for it that particular time.  With Hannah, on the very rare times I was up for it and she was not, I would say something like, “Damn.  You’re just so sexy.  When you’re up for it next time?  Look out!”  And then I’d move on with life.

That’s just an example, and of course you should not use it word for word, but it actually accomplished three things.  The first, is that it let her know I found her incredibly desirable.  The second, is that it let her know that my desire for her was not tempered by the fact she wasn’t up for it that particular time for whatever reason.  And the third, is that it set up asking permission to ravish her the next time she was down, and let her know that I was waiting until she let me know she was down and gave me consent.

Consent doesn’t have to be boring with “May I” and “Please?”  Sometimes that fits, like after a particularly sweet moment where affection rules out over the lustful feelings.  But for those lustful times?  Consent doesn’t have to ruin anything.  You can obtain consent without slowing desire.

“I’m about to ____ you right in your ____ until you can’t see straight!” is getting consent.  It gives your partner the opportunity to say, “No, you are fucking not!”  Or preferably, “Ooooooh!”

“I can’t wait to kiss those sexy lips of yours!”

“I can’t wait to kiss that beautiful _____ of yours!”

Of course, this isn’t a good way of obtaining consent from the person you just met at the grocery store.  You actually have to use this thing called “good judgment” to figure out when that is appropriate.  You do not want to pick up on that cute bank teller by telling her all the dirty things you are going to do to her.  Trust me on this one.  Security just doesn’t get that you are simply trying to obtain consent.  (If you don’t know that is a joke, you should stop reading this because you obviously can’t understand everything else I have been saying.)

What gets lost on so many people, is that getting consent is a simple exercise in common sense.  If someone wants you, they are going to make it better for you when they let you have them.  Even in cases of consensual non-consent, with all the acting and the pretending, there is still that moment where you realize the greatest thing about it all is that they completely gave themselves to you.  Gave.  Consented.  They allowed you to take them.  (Not that I have any experience with that, or anything.)  Regardless of whatever non-consent fantasy you are acting out, real rapists do not get that satisfaction.

The bottom line is that consent is fucking sexy.  It leads to more sex.  Coercion is not sexy, and is also very wrong.

This post has been brought to you by the letters B,D,S,and M, and the number 69.

When You Are Mine

When I say I want you
I am asking permission

When I tell you to kiss me
I am showing your choice

When you tell me No
I respect your decision

When still you move in
You’re using your voice

When I hold you to me
I do not restrain you

When I restrain you
It is for your thrill

When I call you Good Girl
It is not to train you

When you are a good girl
You do what you will

When you turn me down
I never get mad

When you need the safe word
There is no shame

When you want to cuddle
I am just as glad

When you are happy
I feel it the same

When I grab at you
And tell you you’re mine

When I make you beg
As I kneel above

When I say you’re mine
I don’t mean a possession

When I say you’re mine
I mean you’re my love

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Heat Beating

Hello dear reader(s)!

You’re welcome.  If you live in my tone zone, or the ones around it, it is currently Friday.  I have decreed it so, and the universe has acquiesced to my will.  You may praise my name if you so desire and wish for your lands and family to be protected from my wrath.

However, it seems the universe has demanded something in exchange for me generously bestowing you all with the day of Fri.  It seems that the price people must pay is unusual heat or “RECORD-BREAKING HEAT” (Panic for ratings!!!!!!) for my area.  Now, the heat actually isn’t that hot.  In fact, I just got back from a place that made this heat look like, well, less hot than there.  But there is one major difference.  Where it was hotter, those people were intelligent enough to have these magical devices known as air conditioners.  Here, well, not so much.

As such, because I am a kind and loving Josh, I have decided to share with you, my dear reader(s), my tips on beating the shit out of the heat without conditioning the air despite the fact that not using conditioner can cause the air to have a dull and lifeless appearance, along with more fly aways.  So, without further delay with the exception of the delay it takes me to let you know that I will not delay these tips further along with the introduction of said tips and some language designed to build anticipation and get you kind of annoyed so you will just wonder why I don’t just get on with them already, for your entertainment, education, and enlightenment…I present to you…my tips for beating the heat without air conditioning!!!!  (Hold for applause.)

  1. Be naked.  Inside.  Be naked inside.  Clothes prevent proper air circulation over your sweat glands, thus blocking your body’s natural ability to cool itself.  Besides, you just look better naked.  Not you.  You.  That’s right.  Ahhhh yeah.
  2. Beat the heat, not your meat.  All this nakedness can lead to sexy feelings.  But actual sex generates heat if you do it even close to right.  Masturbation also takes a bit of effort.  Fortunately, you do not have to suffer these sexy feelings without release.  Try oral, or at least try to do it in the shower.  I’m thinking both.  That’s right.  Ahhhh yeah.
  3. Use a fan to help circulate the air.  The air will be warm, but it will still be better than no moving of the air at all.  Especially with sweat, the air will help it to evaporate, producing a cooling effect much like an air conditioner would do.  I suggest using steps 1-3 in combination.  Ahhhh yeah.
  4. Try a wet t-shit.  I know this flies in the face of tip #1, but you can still be half-naked, and the fan hitting the water of the wet t-shirt will help to produce the evaporative cooling effect much more efficiently than sweat alone.  Maybe you could make it a white t-shirt, so that when it is wet it becomes see-through.  You can do this still while adding steps 1-3.  At least half of step #1.  Ahhhh yeah.
  5. Put ice packs behind your neck.  Lie down with an ice pack behind your neck.  You could do this while engaging in steps 1-4, although maybe not in the shower, until it is your turn to reciprocate.  Ahhhh yeah.
  6. Hydrate.  This step is critical.  Take breaks from the oral to take in fluids other than those of your partner.  Ahhhh yeah.
  7. Turn off lights and other appliances.  These things generate heat and can distract you from enjoying the previous steps.  Let your hands/mouth do the seeing.  Ahhhh yeah.
  8. Close your blinds and drapes.  You do not want your neighbors to see you engaging in your heat beating.  Unless you do, in which case ask them over.  Ahhhh whatever floats your boat.
  9. Close doors to the rooms you will not be using.  This will help prevent the cooler air from being dissipated to the areas of the house you don’t need to go in.  Like the rooms that are not the bedroom or shower.  Ahhhh yeah.
  10. Turn on your bathroom and oven exhaust fans.  This will help to pull out the hot air from your house and add to the circulation of your regular fan.  Additionally, it will help mask the noise you will be making from the other steps.  Ahhhh yeah.

BONUS TIP Get your sheets wet.  Not that you will have a choice if you follow the rest of these tips.  Ahhhh yeah.

These tips should help keep you nice and cool in the heat without sacrificing your happiness.  So, what do you say?  Wanna come over and cool off?

Do you have any tips to beat the living fuck out of the heat that you would like to add?  Feel free to add to this list in the comments.  Just the tip, though.