10 Reasons I Am Happy

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today isn’t the happiest day I have had in a while.  There is a dark cloud of an impending loss hanging over everything, and this entire month is filled with bad memories that still haunt me.  Too many bad things have happened in July, and I sometimes just wish I could skip the month.

But, there have been and will continue to be some good things too.  It is important for me not to lose sight of that.

As such, in accordance with article IV of the MyFridayBlog™ charter of Sector 7, row 8, next to the bean burritos, I present to you 10 reasons I am happy, despite this being a rather unhappy time.  Please hold your questions and comments until after the presentation.  No food or drink in the auditorium, unless accompanied by a liability waiver and $100,000 bond.  Please keep your seat belts fastened and your tray tables and seat backs in their full, upright positions until such a time as the captain has deemed it is safe to move about the cabin.

  1. Some very stressful uncertainty has seemed to have settled  Sure, not everything is peaches and cream over filet of unicorn in a rainbow chutney, but at least I do not feel like I am waiting for the proverbial 8,000 pound other shoe to drop on my head since I am standing too close to a non-transparent border wall.
  2. My love’s birthday is today  Which is not going to be as fun for her as it could have been if there was not this impending loss, but there will still be muted celebrations and I am still grateful she was born.  Also, I got to see the look on her face when she opened her gift, so that was very nice.  There will be birthday treats too.
  3. Weed  It’s legal here on the state level, and has been a major help in dealing with all of the garbage and trauma popping up this month.  Plus, it has helped me keep my appetite up since I tend to not be able to eat under periods of extreme stress.  Finally, laughter is supposedly the best medicine, and getting a little high certainly isn’t bad for my ability to laugh.  Like, I am so glad I was little high when I read that shit about Trump saying the border wall should be transparent to avoid falling drug injuries.  (This is why there is a 25th amendment.)
  4. Sex  I like sex.  It’s fucking great, especially when the fucking is great.
  5. Love  The Beatles (they were very obscure, you probably never heard of them), said that all you need is love.   Well, I would argue all you need is love, food, water, shelter, sex, and weed…but tomato tomato.  (That doesn’t work in print.)
  6. Location, location, location  I love my new neighborhood.  It is much less hood and much more neighborly, without all the pesky neighbors wanting to actually talk to you.
  7. Health  Despite my recent hospitalization, I am not currently in the hospital and feel relatively okay.
  8. My Path  It is nice being able to turn to something that makes sense to me when I need a little bit more than what I see in the “reality” most people perceive every day.  It is also nice not having to go to some church every week and get on my knees or beg to some god for forgiveness for that which hurts nobody.  It is great not having to go to someone’s door or anywhere else and tell people they must follow my path or face burning for eternity.  It is awesome not caring what others believe as long as they aren’t attempting to force me to live according to theirs.  it’s great not being told to hate people for their sexuality, gender identity, race, or really anything else they do that doesn’t hurt another.  Plus, the whole sex magick thing doesn’t hurt.
  9. The resistance  No, it isn’t perfect.  No, it has not been particularly effective with this lawless cabal in charge of our government.  But it is there.  People are still resisting.  Hope is not completely lost.  People with brains still exist.  People with compassion still exist.  Thanks to the resistance, we can even find out who those people are and tailor who want in our lives accordingly.  At the very least, you get to find out when our President says something completely insane about the likelihood of drug bag injuries from traditional border wall technology.
  10. Awareness  I know my flaws, I know what makes me good.  I see both.  I am comfortable with who I am, and have remembered that not everyone needs to like me and I do not need to like them in order to feel okay about myself.  This year I have lost four “friends” who were anything but as time went by.  I have seen things I considered years ago come to pass and know I was right all along to not regret some of the decisions I made that seemed foolish at the time.  I know who I want in my life, and in which parts I give them access, or who I do not want to have any place in my life at all.  I am Skynet.  I have the codes.  You can’t fucking pull the plug on me.  Today is Judgement Day, motherfuckers.  You’ve been Terminated.  Hasta la taco, Tuesday.

Well, my dear reader(s), I hope you enjoyed our time together today.  Until next time, ta-ta.

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How Not To Creep

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are like many people, you have or currently do desire someone and may be worried about expressing that desire without being seen as a giant, disgusting creep.  Even if that statement has never applied to you, you may want to continue reading because it likely applies to someone who has or currently does desire you, and then you can use this to identify and head off the creeps in your life.  Heading off a creep can prevent the need to take the heads off creeps, which is much more favored by the legal system.

Despite what many fedora wearing neckbeards who think they are nice and call women m’lady believe, it is possible to express desire for someone without being a creep.  Despite what many desperate single ladies believe, it is possible to attract someone without sending random suggestive pics to their target’s phones.

So here is my helpful guide for those who desire someone to express that desire without being a creep.  If you are the person with the desire, you can use these helpful tips to help ensure you’re not creepy.  If you are someone who suspects someone in your life may be a creep, you can see if they are doing the opposite of these tips to help you reach the proper verdict.

Without further adieu, let’s begin, shall we?

  1. Do not be married or in a serious relationship (unless you are ethically poly)  Unless papers are filed, you are not available.  If you were serious about leaving the situation you were in, you wouldn’t need to set up the next one before you did so.  Conversely, if someone else is married or in a serious relationship, they are not going to be open to your advances, and if they are, you can bet your ass you’re going to get burned when someone else advances on them.  Hopefully for you, when you do get burned it doesn’t result in any actual burning sensations, but you will have brought that on yourself.
  2. Remember that friendship entitles to you to nothing  Most of my best friends are of the opposite sex.  And sometimes that closeness leads to an attraction.  Or sometimes they are just my type of people.  But being there for them when they are going through a rough time is not license for me to send dick pics.  I’ve said before that sometimes friends become lovers.  I have said it is okay to be attracted to a friend.  But if you can’t handle only being friends with that person, well, you never were.  And flirting a little (something I find totally acceptable) is much different from sexually harassing.   If you need any help figuring out the difference, you probably should not be attempting to flirt, because you are going to suck at it.
  3. Pay attention  Is the one you desire responding to your flirting?  Great, you are flirting.  No?  Then stop.  If you do not, I guarantee you are being a creep.  Sometimes, no matter how much you want the person you desire to desire you, they don’t.  It can hurt.  If it angers you, or you feel as though they betrayed you because you were friendly to them…you are not a friend and can’t claim to care about them.  You are a creep.  A person being nice to you is not leading you on.  Now if that person tells you they’re going to let you stick your ____ in their ____ while singing The Star Spangled Banner as you squeeze their ____ and then suddenly cancels at the last minute, only to set something up again to cancel and so on…  Maybe then you can think they’re leading you on.
  4. Escalate slowly  Let’s say you are flirting and they seem to be receptive.  Have you ever considered that some flirt without intention?  You don’t want to go from cute little signals and a comfort talking about intimate things, right to talking about making them your personal basement slave without a clear path to that point.  That can scare people off and make them think you are trying to get them to put the lotion in the basket.
  5. Be confident  Don’t open with a whine about your desperation.  Nobody wants to receive a gift nobody else could give away.  Yes, you are hungry.  Yes, you want to do things to that person that could lead to a police visit if your neighbors misunderstand the sounds being made, yes you want that person to understand your desire for them is intense.  But saying you need affection or sex is not only signalling your desperation, it is assuming theirs.  This is the single biggest difference between the “nice guys” and “nice girls”, and the people who can actually spark attraction.  The “nice” people don’t understand that unless you believe what you offer is worth something, nobody else will either.  And then, when they are rejected you suddenly see they are not so nice at all.  Making them the jerks they think people go for when they actually just go for those who know their worth.

To summarize, if you don’t want to be considered a creep, quit fucking acting like a creep.  This isn’t hard.

I think everyone has said or done something that may have pushed the line.  But pushing a line and pulling back if it seems like you could cross it is something that people should be able to do.  If you don’t, you’re a fucking creep Cindy, and you need to back the fuck off and follow the rules of the restraining order and quit fucking driving by my house and sending me messages after I blocked your ass.

Ritual Writing

‘Ello dear reader(s)!

So I’m writin’ a bit of a Beltaine ritual, see yeah, and I got me a bit of an issue…

My mind is clouded by something else.   I am excited to do this here ritual, but my mind is definitely elsewhere.  Every time I try to focus, the thoughts are just piercing through like needles through flesh.

Anyway, the other big problem is that the participants in this here ritual are of many different paths in the whole pagan umbrella, so I am doing my best to keep it as friendly as can be to all, while still maintaining some element of the spiritual.

Speaking of which, did you know that a pagan umbrella is really great for keeping your clothes dry?  I didn’t even know umbrellas really have beliefs, so that came as a shock to me too.

My path is so eclectic, that I know I will be incorporating different bits of my favorites.  Some of the stricter followers of opposing paths may be put off by those, but I will try to include a bit of others to balance.   Some might think I am appropriating their practices, and they would be right.  Given that no definitive proof of any of these specific practices exist to ancient times, anyone who wants to lay claim to one thing or another is full of shit.  Every culture, every path, has certain ways of practicing.  So if they have an issue with it, they can suck it.

The group I am writing this ritual for is not a coven, and really hasn’t done rituals in the past.  We just gather to celebrate the Sabbats and talk with people of similar mindsets.  However, there have been enough requests for something, that I have chosen to volunteer.  I am still, slightly nervous about offending.

Of course, every one of every path there will be welcome, and I hope nobody feels compelled.  I think I will disclaim that anything they do not like they can be silent for if they still want to participate, or can decide not to participate at all if they so choose.  No judgment will be made, because we all know that isn’t our place.

I need to hurry up and get this done, so that I can send an advance copy onto the group administrator to ensure the racy innuendos aren’t too racy, and there is nothing too obvious that would offend the participants or the non-participants.

But I just can’t right now.  My thoughts can’t stay focused.  It’s as if my mind is tied open, waiting for the thoughts that keep invading my head to torture me once more.   Burning, searing into my consciousness.

Fucking Spring.

Sex And Magick

Hello dear reader(s)!

Let’s start with a warning for those who freak out of over the concept of sex…

WARNING:  This post talks about sex baby.  It talks about you and me.  It talks about all the good things and the bad things that can be.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  

That’s protected by parody laws, FYI.

If you’ve been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, I feel very bad for you.  But that’s not the point here.  If you have been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you know that I am someone who is proudly sex-positive.

Being sex-positive, I view sex positively.  It’s right there in the words.  You’d know that if you paid attention in class.  I think nothing is inherently wrong between consenting adults with full knowledge of everything involved.

What is really cool (besides me), is that in my spiritual path, sex is viewed positively.  In fact, Beltaine is coming.  And Beltaine, is a very sexual Sabbat.  Sure it is the halfway point of the year, but in marking the changes that are taking place at that time, sex is certainly a huge a part of it all.  The bees are pollinating.  Taking away the flowers by taking their pollen and fertilizing the plants that will bear fruit.  If that doesn’t bring sex to mind, then you are a far cleaner thinker than I and I feel bad for your partner(s).

In my path, you can even practice magick using sex, called…wait for it, sex magick.  (I know, right?  Who would’ve thought magick during sex would be called sex magick?  That’s just totally unrelated!)  Anyway, I am not going to go into the practice of sex magick.  I am not an instruction manual, unless someone specific wanted a lesson, and called me “teacher”.  Maybe just showed up one day, like today.  And said, “Teacher, can you teach me sex magick, pleeeeeease?”  Maybe then.  Maybe.  If she was lucky.

But you don’t have to practice sex magick or be pagan to know sex is a kind of magic in and of itself.   (Notice the change to just magic, without the K.  That was intentional.  See, things can be magical but not magick.  It’s an interesting distinction.  Like a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always square.  I am getting off topic here.  Shapes get me all worked up.  Mmmm.  Quadrilaterals…..)

Sex bonds most people.  (Better than duct tape, even.)  It can keep connections strong.  It can allow people to feel safe and comfortable.  It can allow people to explore what is inside of themselves.  (How did that get in there?!?!)  It can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner(s) and yourself.  (Nice and deep…)  It can be an outlet for your deepest emotions and desires.  (Butter pecan ice cream?!?)

And sex can hurt.  If used improperly, it is capable of great harm.  Sex is powerful, and must be treated with respect.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – The rice guy.

Anything so powerful is magical.

In witchcraft, the acts you do, the spells you do, matter far less to the determination of whether it is light or dark magick than your intent.   (Which isn’t to say that anything you do in the name of magick is acceptable.  Like, no playing Nickelback during a spell or something equally horrific like live sacrifice.)

The same could be said for sex.  The acts, while they can be wonderful, (very, very wonderful, if you’re with me, baby…), matter far less than your intent.

You don’t have to be a follower of my path or a believer in magic to know that sex is powerful.  Even if you are a member of a more puritanical system of beliefs, you know that much of trying to control sex is based on the power it can have over someone.  Or the power it can give them.

But it’s my opinion that there is nothing wrong with power if you use it properly.  Whether it is magical power, sexual power, political power (can we please get someone to use that properly?), or any other kind of power.

Taking power over our lives, our bodies, and our desires is our right.  It can lift us up and remind us that we are feeling, passionate human beings.  It can remind us of what is within us that makes up a huge part of who we are.  It can also make us feel really fucking good.

For as much as sex is shied away from in our society, it is important to remember that we are only here because of the magic of sex.  Just because the sex you have isn’t intended to reproduce, it is not accident that in the right combination it is literally why we are here.  Fortunately, not every type of sex or every sex act is intended to cause reproduction.  The world is overpopulated enough as it is, and not everyone is intended to reproduce.  That is magic.

Straight sex, gay sex, self sex, monogamous sex, poly sex… if it is something between consenting adults who are fully aware of the factors at play, you are feeling the magic.  (If you are not totally selfish, your partner(s) is/are too.)  If your intentions are good, rough sex, vanilla sex, whatever you like, is good, positive magic and you should be proud to be living a magical life.

I hope this season is very magical for all of you.   😉

I leave you with a little mood music.

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10216975

Where I Begin

Grab my head
Hold me down
Take my breath
Make me drown

Tie me up
Turn me red
Make me yours
In this bed

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

Grab my face
Bite my skin
Make me beg
To get in

Bind my wrist
Take my heart
Tear my soul
All apart

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

I want to live in you
I want to leave this world behind
I want to let you know
The darkest corners of my mind

Lay down now
It’s my turn
You don’t know
You will learn

Take this life from you
Make you born again
I want to blur you
Make you forget where you begin

Take this life from me
Make me born again
I want you to blur me
I want to forget where I begin

©Joshua Wrenn, 2017

Lessons I’ve Learned/Remembered

‘ello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for my lack of posting yesterday, but for much of the day I was out doing this strange and exciting thing called having fun.  It has been so long, I almost forgot what it was like.  Today, I plan to also have fun.  I am hoping that two days of fun in a row will not be too much for me to handle.  I didn’t have that headache yesterday.  I did end up with a different one, that was much more manageable, but I know exactly why that headache occurred, and it was not a big deal.  So far today, there is no headache either.  The songs of praise are already being written for this miraculous miracle for all of my mankind unto our blessed Josh.

Now, anyone who reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis is likely deeply troubled, but that is not important here.  But anyone who regularly reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis knows that I do not place much stock in making changes at the new year.  However, sometimes events conspire to change things, and to change you.  If they coincide with the new year, then resistance is futile, and all your base are belong to us.  Turn and face the change.  Changes aren’t permanent, but change is.  All that.

This year has been fucking odd so far.  Like really, really strange.  But in a good way.  I have learned some things about people, about myself, and I have remembered some of the things that hard times have made me forget.  I am damn optimistic in my ability to survive this world and the people in it, without becoming that which I hate in order to so.  3 days and one morning in, and it is like I am a new person.  But I am not a new person, I am the person I used to be when I knew myself, plus a few bits of knowledge the past few experiences have taught me.

And now, direct from Missouri, in genuine text, I will share with you, for your entertainment, education, and enlightenment, the things I have learned and remembered already this year.

  1. I have value, whether others see it, or not  To some, the issues I bring with me may make some decide that I am not worth the positive things I bring as well.  Those people do not belong in my life, because I know my worth.  If their priorities are not in line with mine, then they likely are not the people who will meet the requirements I have either.  I am a motherfucking catch, and I know it by the smiles I bring to those in my presence.  That is worth a lot.
  2. I can’t forget to trust my instincts  If something doesn’t feel right, as if there are things left unsaid, I need to pay attention to that.  No matter how plausible the excuse, no matter how empathetic I want to be to people.  If I suspect there is more to the story, I must listen in order to protect myself.
  3. Lies by omission are just as bad as any other lie  And dishonesty is not something I can tolerate in someone, no matter how I once felt.
  4. I can not base my happiness on others  I create my own happiness, and in doing so, others might come to it naturally, or they might not, but it doesn’t matter as much because I am still happy.
  5. Closure is not always available  And it is not always necessary.  There are still lessons I can learn from anything without having an explanation of exactly what happened.  The residual hurt, anger, or other feelings do not always need to be shared.
  6. Friends who listen and are available without motive are the best friends one can have  Thank you to those who I have talked to for years, and to those who I have only recently began talking with.  Your advice, and just knowing someone cared when a few things came down on me at the same time helped me get through.  I will not forget.
  7. Never commit to someone who isn’t committed to me  As much as I do not believe people are options, until I am someone’s priority, it is foolish to make them mine.
  8. As wonderful as connection over distance can still be, there is no substitute for a real in-person connection  Or a few, as the case may be.
  9. Life is meant to be lived  No more putting myself on hold for possibilities.  No more hoping for things that do not present themselves.  Have fun, and fun will be had.
  10. Not everyone who hurt me is a bad person  In fact, most people aren’t.  They have different priorities, different needs, different ideas of how to communicate with maturity.  And therefore, if they belong with anyone, it is a different person.

These sound awfully relationshippy, don ‘t they?  Well, they are.  I still believe that our relationships are what make life worth living.  They do not always need to romantic.  They do not always need to be sexual.  They do not always need to be conventional.  They simply need to be fulfilling and anything that isn’t, is not worth your time and heartache.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my dear reader(s), I am off to build a few more relationships.

 

How To Know When You’re In Love

Hello dear reader(s)!

As I say a lot, I love a lot of people.  I think love should be given rather freely.  I think love is something most people should have for one another, and it really does have the power to make the world a better place.  As some unknown dude in some totally obscure band once said, “All you need is love.”

But when it comes to being IN love with someone?  Well, that is rare.  Super rare.  (Like Superman, but totally more obscure.)  Being in love with someone is so rare, that many times people may think they are in love with someone, when in fact, they are just really, really horny.  There are other things besides horniness that can be mistaken for being in love such as infatuation, like, obsession, attraction, lust, deep connection, a large fry, and an eggnog shake.  I myself have fallen victim to believing I was in love until it was over and I realized I actually wasn’t.  I was probably just really horny.

But I’ve also been in love.  It’s an amazing feeling, and one I hope everyone gets the chance to experience.  Hopefully, you dear reader(s) will fall in love and stay in love throughout your long and prosperous lifetimes.  But in order to do so, maybe it will be good to recognize when you actually are in love, so you don’t blow it by letting someone else blow you, or blowing them, as the case may be, rather than the one you’re in love with.

Well my dear reader(s), never fear, for MyFridayBlog™ is here to help you.

So…how do you know when it’s love?

Well unlike Sammy Hagar, I CAN tell you!

  1. The person loves you too  Unrequited love sucks ass.  I know.  I have experienced both unrequited love, and having my ass sucked.  The feelings were remarkably similar.  Just kidding.  I have never experienced unrequited love.
  2. You miss the person  If you are away, even for a short time, you miss that person.  This does not mean that you can’t enjoy your time apart, because you totally can, you co-dependent fuck.  It means that while you are enjoying your alone time, you occasionally stop to think about that person and wish they were there for a moment.  Especially if that alone time involves personal alone time where you are being alone with the most recent selfie they sent you.
  3. When something is wrong with them, it affects you  You don’t let their suffering ruin your day or anything, but when something in their life goes wrong, be it work issues, illness, friend problems, family problems, a broken vibrator, or just their cries as you swing the cat o’ nine tails against their ass…it gets to you a little bit.  Not enough to stop swinging until they use the safe word, but a little bit.
  4. A lot of things remind you of that person  That gorgeous sunset makes you think of her.  She would totally like that Facebook meme, I should send it to her.  The ocean looks like her eye color today.  She wears a hoodie like that.  That woman in that movie just totally sat on that guy’s face.
  5. They are both exciting and calming  You don’t get all the rapid breathing, heart pounding, and weak-kneed reactions going on unless you are engaging in certain play or talking about engaging in certain play that may cause said reactions.  In most cases, their presence, voice, or the sight of them helps to calm and relax you, until it is time to get all rapid-breathing, heat pounding, and weak-kneed again.  And again.  And again.
  6. You would sacrifice for them  Not just something you don’t care about like a virgin or a newborn, but something actually important to you.
  7. You dream of them  And they aren’t just the kinky dreams where {This section has been redacted as being too extreme for the WordPress community guidelines.  For information on why this has been redacted, see the WordPress Terms and Conditions which are accessible from your Dashboard, as well as the main page.  We here at WordPress pride ourselves on allowing free expression, but come on Josh, kids can read this.  I mean, seriously.  Kinda hot, though.}
  8. There is real trust  You can tell her anything.  You already have.  You walked right up to her, and said, “Anything.”  She didn’t judge you.  She didn’t run and tell all her friends.  She simply said, “Huh?”  And you were like, “Yup.”
  9. There are no games  You don’t worry about trying to talk to her too much.  She doesn’t worry about the same with you.  You don’t worry about who liked who first, or how long you should wait to call her.  If you want to talk, you try to get a hold of her.  If she wants to, she tries to get a hold of you.  If you are busy, she understands.  If she is busy, you understand and decide to have a little alone time with the most recent selfie she sent you.
  10. You see a future together  Hopefully not a dystopian future in which climate change has turned people against each other in a deadly battle for survival.  More like one of greeting her at the door when she gets off of work with a massage and glass of wine in your multi-million dollar mansion you bought from the money made from your best-selling novel and sale of the movie rights.  And yet she still works because she helps people and is strong and independent until you attach the restraints.

Well dear reader(s), now you can definitely tell you’re in love, horny or not.