Ritual Writing

‘Ello dear reader(s)!

So I’m writin’ a bit of a Beltaine ritual, see yeah, and I got me a bit of an issue…

My mind is clouded by something else.   I am excited to do this here ritual, but my mind is definitely elsewhere.  Every time I try to focus, the thoughts are just piercing through like needles through flesh.

Anyway, the other big problem is that the participants in this here ritual are of many different paths in the whole pagan umbrella, so I am doing my best to keep it as friendly as can be to all, while still maintaining some element of the spiritual.

Speaking of which, did you know that a pagan umbrella is really great for keeping your clothes dry?  I didn’t even know umbrellas really have beliefs, so that came as a shock to me too.

My path is so eclectic, that I know I will be incorporating different bits of my favorites.  Some of the stricter followers of opposing paths may be put off by those, but I will try to include a bit of others to balance.   Some might think I am appropriating their practices, and they would be right.  Given that no definitive proof of any of these specific practices exist to ancient times, anyone who wants to lay claim to one thing or another is full of shit.  Every culture, every path, has certain ways of practicing.  So if they have an issue with it, they can suck it.

The group I am writing this ritual for is not a coven, and really hasn’t done rituals in the past.  We just gather to celebrate the Sabbats and talk with people of similar mindsets.  However, there have been enough requests for something, that I have chosen to volunteer.  I am still, slightly nervous about offending.

Of course, every one of every path there will be welcome, and I hope nobody feels compelled.  I think I will disclaim that anything they do not like they can be silent for if they still want to participate, or can decide not to participate at all if they so choose.  No judgment will be made, because we all know that isn’t our place.

I need to hurry up and get this done, so that I can send an advance copy onto the group administrator to ensure the racy innuendos aren’t too racy, and there is nothing too obvious that would offend the participants or the non-participants.

But I just can’t right now.  My thoughts can’t stay focused.  It’s as if my mind is tied open, waiting for the thoughts that keep invading my head to torture me once more.   Burning, searing into my consciousness.

Fucking Spring.

Sex And Magick

Hello dear reader(s)!

Let’s start with a warning for those who freak out of over the concept of sex…

WARNING:  This post talks about sex baby.  It talks about you and me.  It talks about all the good things and the bad things that can be.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  

That’s protected by parody laws, FYI.

If you’ve been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, I feel very bad for you.  But that’s not the point here.  If you have been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you know that I am someone who is proudly sex-positive.

Being sex-positive, I view sex positively.  It’s right there in the words.  You’d know that if you paid attention in class.  I think nothing is inherently wrong between consenting adults with full knowledge of everything involved.

What is really cool (besides me), is that in my spiritual path, sex is viewed positively.  In fact, Beltaine is coming.  And Beltaine, is a very sexual Sabbat.  Sure it is the halfway point of the year, but in marking the changes that are taking place at that time, sex is certainly a huge a part of it all.  The bees are pollinating.  Taking away the flowers by taking their pollen and fertilizing the plants that will bear fruit.  If that doesn’t bring sex to mind, then you are a far cleaner thinker than I and I feel bad for your partner(s).

In my path, you can even practice magick using sex, called…wait for it, sex magick.  (I know, right?  Who would’ve thought magick during sex would be called sex magick?  That’s just totally unrelated!)  Anyway, I am not going to go into the practice of sex magick.  I am not an instruction manual, unless someone specific wanted a lesson, and called me “teacher”.  Maybe just showed up one day, like today.  And said, “Teacher, can you teach me sex magick, pleeeeeease?”  Maybe then.  Maybe.  If she was lucky.

But you don’t have to practice sex magick or be pagan to know sex is a kind of magic in and of itself.   (Notice the change to just magic, without the K.  That was intentional.  See, things can be magical but not magick.  It’s an interesting distinction.  Like a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always square.  I am getting off topic here.  Shapes get me all worked up.  Mmmm.  Quadrilaterals…..)

Sex bonds most people.  (Better than duct tape, even.)  It can keep connections strong.  It can allow people to feel safe and comfortable.  It can allow people to explore what is inside of themselves.  (How did that get in there?!?!)  It can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner(s) and yourself.  (Nice and deep…)  It can be an outlet for your deepest emotions and desires.  (Butter pecan ice cream?!?)

And sex can hurt.  If used improperly, it is capable of great harm.  Sex is powerful, and must be treated with respect.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – The rice guy.

Anything so powerful is magical.

In witchcraft, the acts you do, the spells you do, matter far less to the determination of whether it is light or dark magick than your intent.   (Which isn’t to say that anything you do in the name of magick is acceptable.  Like, no playing Nickelback during a spell or something equally horrific like live sacrifice.)

The same could be said for sex.  The acts, while they can be wonderful, (very, very wonderful, if you’re with me, baby…), matter far less than your intent.

You don’t have to be a follower of my path or a believer in magic to know that sex is powerful.  Even if you are a member of a more puritanical system of beliefs, you know that much of trying to control sex is based on the power it can have over someone.  Or the power it can give them.

But it’s my opinion that there is nothing wrong with power if you use it properly.  Whether it is magical power, sexual power, political power (can we please get someone to use that properly?), or any other kind of power.

Taking power over our lives, our bodies, and our desires is our right.  It can lift us up and remind us that we are feeling, passionate human beings.  It can remind us of what is within us that makes up a huge part of who we are.  It can also make us feel really fucking good.

For as much as sex is shied away from in our society, it is important to remember that we are only here because of the magic of sex.  Just because the sex you have isn’t intended to reproduce, it is not accident that in the right combination it is literally why we are here.  Fortunately, not every type of sex or every sex act is intended to cause reproduction.  The world is overpopulated enough as it is, and not everyone is intended to reproduce.  That is magic.

Straight sex, gay sex, self sex, monogamous sex, poly sex… if it is something between consenting adults who are fully aware of the factors at play, you are feeling the magic.  (If you are not totally selfish, your partner(s) is/are too.)  If your intentions are good, rough sex, vanilla sex, whatever you like, is good, positive magic and you should be proud to be living a magical life.

I hope this season is very magical for all of you.   😉

I leave you with a little mood music.

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10216975

Ostara Greetings

Hello dear reader(s)!

Blessed Ostara!  Or Happy Spring Equinox!  Or Happy Vernal Equinox, for those of you Vern worshipers.

I’ve decided that I need a Stonehenge.  I think it would a be a really great addition to my local community and I believe it should be installed post-haste.  I would like to see it up on a hill, surrounded by fields.  And none of this half-crumbling shit either.  I think it should be constructed as originally intended.  And I could charge a fee for entry to anyone who wanted to see it except on the equinoxes and solstices when it would be free to all who wish to bask in the glory of the light of the sunrise as it aligns with the structures.

Maybe I should start a Kickstarter.

Tonight I have an Ostara celebration to attend.  I am rather excited, except my post-nasal drip is still bothering me.  It needs to stop, post-haste.

Like the other equinox (that which shall not be named, today anyway, because it isn’t all about that one), today is a day for balance.  That is a good thing, because my post-nasal drip has really fucked up my equilibrium so I can use all the balance I can get.  I do not intend to drink tonight as it would be hard enough to balance during a field sobriety test stone-sober (although being stoned, isn’t exactly sober, so I really don’t get that term).  I shall not be stoned either, unless I got some bad Sudafed.

I intend to do a spell to increase the power of the Sudafed that I shall take so I am hopefully not coughing or spewing mucus all over the new people I meet.  “Blessed (cough!  hack!) Ostara!!!”  {Extends slimy hand outward for people to look at disgustedly before running away.}

The festivities are potluck style, so I need to bring something.  I was thinking deviled eggs, as eggs are traditional to the whole fertility, rebirth aspect of this particular festivity, but deviled eggs are a pain in the ass and need to be kept cool in order not to give everyone Ostaritis, an Ostara specific food poisoning.  I may just do some phallic shaped bread (easy enough, most bread loaves are cock-shaped) and like an artichoke dip or something else low maintenance.

Today is expected to be the last good weather day here for a while.  In fact, this evening, it should rain.  I can live with that.  As long as it doesn’t snow, I will be a happy camper, only I am not camping anywhere.

Today is a good day to grow your intentions, just as a farmer would be growing crops to harvest later.  I need to think about what mine are.  I know a few, but I really need to make them more concrete, as this cement alone is just too weak.  Besides, having an intention like, “I intend to make that woman cum more times that she ever thought possible.” is great and all, just probably not the most beneficial intention to have for my life.

I actually do have a few real goals.  Real goals I am progressing toward despite my post-nasal drip.  I must take those goals and the momentum made toward them and transform them into Autobots.  I must take those goals and combine them to determine what they mean for an overall intention of how I want to live the remaining time I have here in this life.  I must prevent them from transforming into Decepticons.

I need to get up and shower, so I can go get the food.  I need to take Sudafed, so I can make it through the shower.  I need to end this post-nasal drip post-haste, and make it a no-nasal drip.  I need to stop saying things like post-haste.  There, those are my intentions.  That shit was easy.

Blessed Ostara one and all, and to all, a good day or night.  Or both.  You know what?  How about a good as long as you want it to be good?  Why not?  Why should I be stingy with my good wishes?  What are we teaching the children?!?!




Saint Day of Paddy’s

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day.  I don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day.  Why would I celebrate someone who made Ireland into a theocracy where nuns threw babies into septic tanks rather than acknowledge that woman might fuck when they’re not married and those babies aren’t evil?  Why celebrate that Ireland getting Christianity caused women’s rights to be stomped on for decades?

I love Ireland, don’t get me wrong.  I think it is beautiful.  I think the people there are pretty awesome.  I love how they voted to legalize same-sex marriage over fierce opposition from the church.  I love the many Irish accents.  I love the traditional Irish music.  I love the beer, and some of the food.  I love the language.  I love all of the history and all of the Celtic and Gaelic influence.

And this is where Saint Patrick actually is a problem for me.  He drove the snakes out of Ireland.  The snakes were not actual snakes.  The snakes were a metaphor for the Pagans.  The Celtic and Gaelic influence that Ireland still hangs onto was Pagan.  As a Pagan, why should I celebrate that?

So I don’t.

But like Christians celebrating a combination of Yule and Saturnalia, and calling it Christmas, I am going to celebrate on the day for my own reasons.  I don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, the solemn religious holiday that used to be dry until Ireland realized that they could make a serious amount of tourist dollars by allowing the kind of drunken partying that used to only happen in the US, I celebrate St. Paddy’s Day.  St. Paddy’s Day, while, yes could be short for Saint Patrick’s Day, isn’t to me.  Instead, it is a celebration of Irish culture, art, and a time to eat, drink, and be merry.

Plus, I get to wear my cool green stuff.

Saint Patrick actually was known for a light blue color.  The wearing of green didn’t become popular until the movement for an Irish Republic began to take hold.  So wearing my green today, is not celebrating Saint Patrick, it is celebrating Éire (Ireland).  Éire, incidentally, comes from Ériu, which was the name of a Gaelic goddess, the matron goddess of Ireland, a goddess of the land.

I’m not Irish.  Well, I mean, I’m not Irish enough to call myself Irish.  I don’t think up to a quarter of my ethnicity being Irish really makes me Irish at all.  But I do know that I am absolutely fascinated by Ireland, and by all things Irish.  So, I am going to celebrate today, based on that and that alone.

Besides, we need more excuses to celebrate.

Just remind me not to overdo it.  Ostara is just days away.

Happy Dia De Los Santo de Paddy, everyone!


Yes, I Do Spells

Hello dear reader(s)!

Welcome to another exciting edition of MyFridayBlog™!  As some of you dear reader(s) may or may not be aware, I consider myself to be a solitary, eclectic pagan.  I also consider myself to be a witch*, which (I just got to say witch which) I am sure sounds weird to a lot of people reading this, but I believe isn’t weird at all.  I think anyone with a healthy sense of empathy who actually buys into the notion that everything is connected on some level is close to becoming a witch, the only steps remaining is to actually practice the craft and to call oneself a witch.  At any rate, people unfamiliar with witches hear that and tend to scoff.  As soon as I say it, they usually ask one of two questions:

  1. So you worship Satan?  No, I don’t even believe in Satan.  And don’t give me the crap about Satan leading me astray by claiming that anything else I do worship is Satan in disguise.  I know that what I “worship” isn’t your evil (Or was he?  Well, that’s a different post.) rebel angel in your book I do not take any stock in.
  2. So, what do you do spells?  Yep.  Sure do.  Fairly often, even.  And I believe they help.

Now they think I’m insane.  I would like to know why.  What makes my spells so much crazier than your prayer?  Nothing.  Your belief in your God, and your disbelief in anything else is the only thing that makes mine seem crazier to you.  It is less accepted by the people in this culture.  That’s it.

Most of my spells involve candle magic.  It’s really my favorite.  Have you ever been to a Catholic church?   See all those candles?

Now let me make this absolutely clear:  I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE, so long as you are not trying to infringe upon my beliefs or rights using those beliefs as an excuse.  I am not trying to convert anyone.  I like that generally, when I meet other witches and pagans, I am meeting people who are fairly like-minded and were not pressured into their respective paths.  So this quick explanation of my particular path is particular to me, and is not in any way an attempt to get people to believe as I do.  It is merely to explain to you that I am not crazy, or any crazier than anyone else with a belief system that hasn’t been scientifically proven.  It is also to show that I am not evil.  At least not for what I believe.

Let’s start with those spells.  To me, on my eclectic, solitary path, spells are nothing more than ultra-focused meditation.  Often in any type of meditation, the person fails because they are too focused on whether or not it is working.  In my spells, I am focused on the steps.  The circle I cast, the words I use, the candles I light, and any other specific steps I follow.  Unlike prayer, I do not ask my deities for things.  I ask my deities to help me obtain things myself.  Or if I am doing it for someone else, to help them.  As I watch the flame of the candle, I create pictures in my mind of what it will be like when I have successfully achieved what I want.  And once the spell is over, I’m relaxed, thinking clearly, and a million new ideas are forming on how to achieve something I may have been stuck on prior.  I also happen to believe that just putting it out there helps it come back to you, and that I can manipulate the energy around me to making things easier to happen, but I understand that isn’t exactly rational.  But not everything is.  I mean, Trump is President.

Now for the deities.  I do not believe in one God.  Well, I kind of do, in that my God is energy.  But to me, there are two distinct sides to that God.  That makes that God into two.  A feminine Goddess and a masculine God.  Sort of a yin-yang.  A positive and negative.  A light and dark.  Even matter has that duality.  A lot of my fellow pagans have more than the two.  Or they name them and have all kinds of different representations.  I don’t, but it certainly doesn’t bother me if their path is different.  So my Goddess and God are simply energy, and even calling them a Goddess and God are merely representations of that energy.  I do believe in the triple Goddess, maiden, mother, crone.  Just as different stages of that energy tied to time.  I believe time, and seasons, and all of the changes in light and energy can be used for planning things in your life just as farmers used the seasons to plant crops.  I believe being in tune with that energy of the natural world helps make life easier.

I believe that you can on occasion read the energy around you to divine what may be coming.  Again, not exactly rational, and I am aware of this.

Can you prove your belief system?  Even atheists can only prove up to a point.

I believe in other realms.  Many scientists believe in a multiverse.  This isn’t really that much of a stretch.

I believe in science.  I go to doctors.  I take medicine.  I think nothing that I believe that hasn’t been proven is fact, but it works for me.  Nature is my church, and natural energy is my deities.

There is so much more to my path.  I can’t go into it all on one post, or in one year.  But this is a basic run-down of what I believe.  It is simply to show you that my beliefs are no crazier than other beliefs that rely on what can’t be proven, so that when you see the pentacle around my neck, you won’t think I am some dangerous person.

But the main part of my path I want you to think about is this:  An it harm none, do what ye will.  I try very hard to live by that.  So no ritual sacrifice, no stoning people…none of that.  I do not hold as strictly to it as some, because if harming someone is the only way to protect myself from life-threatening harm, you can bet that goes out the window.  If you understand that is what I believe, maybe you won’t think I am such a threat to you and your beliefs.

*Male witches are witches, not warlocks.  Warlocks are traitors.  



Hello dear reader(s)!

I don’t belong in this society.  I don’t fit in.  I am an outsider who doesn’t go out of my way to be different.  I am not rebelling against anything, even though I have issues with plenty.  I am not attempting to be a nonconformist.  I don’t dress the way I do as a statement.  I do not have my one tattoo (and wish I could have more) in an attempt to stand out.  I didn’t shave my head for so long as a statement of anything other than I liked how it looked on me, and it was easier and cheaper than going to a salon.  Oh yeah, and because it kept my head cool and less sweaty when I was drumming.

I just can’t seem to make myself go along with the world that exists on the surface.  I am so fed up with the vapidness.  The materialism for the sake of materialism.  The ever-increasing belief that life is a competition.  The belief that enjoying this life is a sin.  I am fed up with those who would rather live vicariously through celebrities or athletes, than try to live their own lives to the fullest.  I am sick of those who would kill in the name of a god who would make them bow to him.  I am sick of those who would rather kneel to the divine than use that power to empower themselves.  I am sick of those who would persecute others for not believing in the divine at all.  And I am sick of those who would persecute people for hoping to believe in something larger than themselves.

People are living for a future they may never see.  I know that it is wise to plan ahead, but how much do you really want to sacrifice for a day that is not guaranteed?  I’ve always believed people should live more for today than they do, but it took almost dying for me to really begin to put it in practice.  I still fight myself on it occasionally, because my anxiety likes to step in, but for the most part, I am not going to miss out on something for a day that may never come.  When I was in the hospital, being told I had no chance and should call palliative care, I wasn’t afraid of dying.  I was afraid of dying having not experienced so many things I wanted to experience because of fears of the future.   I was afraid of dying and leaving people behind who may not have known how much they meant to me.  Death comes for us all.

People are indoctrinated, from the earliest age, to believe that this life isn’t the one where we are to experience joy.  This life is simply work to prepare us for the next one.  What should be comforting, is actually a tool used to enslave us.  Even those who reject this indoctrination, struggle with the remnants and cultural forces it creates.  What better to way make suffering acceptable?   What better way to keep in people in line?

I’ve been reflecting this morning on growing up.  From the blatant lies and right-wing propaganda forced upon us by police officers in the D.A.R.E. program, to the white supremacist lies taught to us in history class.  I’ve been thinking about the mandatory attendance policies that affected academic grades of students who aced the final exams of classes they hardly ever showed up for, yet limited their ability to move ahead to something more challenging.  I’ve been thinking of the bell system and lining up for everything.  I have been thinking about all of the ways in which we have been brainwashed into our decline as consumer drones for corporate masters.  I’ve been thinking of dress codes to stifle our expression, as well as the ones designed to deflect personal responsibility from controlling our sexual urges.

The concept of school should be to teach children to think, and to learn for themselves.  Instead, I lived in a system that taught us to go along, no matter how wrong those in positions of authority may be.  I reflect on that, and realize it is no wonder that so many people were not terrified of a fascist figure winning the Presidency.  Of course not; they have been taught to submit to those who claim power for all their lives.

Luckily, I had a bit of influence at home to help me learn to think critically.  I had parents who did not blindly follow authority just because those in the positions managed to attain it.

It has been a blessing and a curse.  On the one hand, I had the pressure to do well in those systems I had already learned were so very flawed.  On the other, I have lived my life to a greater degree than many I know, who always seem to be living for the some day, and under the direction of others.  It has been good, and bad, but it has been real.

However, it has also been a little lonely.  Especially after getting sick, meeting people of similar views hasn’t exactly been easy.  People who truly understand me would be rare enough, let alone now that just meeting any people has become rare.

And yet here I sit, typing into this page, knowing that I belong.  I have a real sense of belonging today.  Not to the society that exists on the surface.  To something much deeper.  That, is an amazing feeling.

Holiday Offense

Hello dear reader(s)!

Happy whatever holiday you celebrate, provided you celebrate a holiday at this time of year.  If it offends you that I said that, rather than saying Merry Christmas, tough shit.  Your offense offends me.

I am not Christian.  I am Pagan.  Some would call me neopagan, and that’s probably true given that much of my belief systems are modern interpretations of ancient beliefs.  But they were ancient.  They predated Christianity.  And guess what?

Christmas as you know it, is pure Pagan.

I try not to get into the whole ownership of the holiday that much.  I couldn’t care less who celebrates or why.  I want them to be happy and healthy and have a great time.  I am not one of those pagans who tries to rewrite Christian Christmas songs with Pagan themes (that actually annoys me, we can write our own songs), or one who goes around and mentions all of the things that were stolen for this holiday from ancient Pagan people.  It doesn’t matter much to me.


Some idiot starts whining about a war on Christmas.

Then, it’s on.

Have you been to Nazareth?  Ever seen a fucking reindeer there?  How about pine and fir trees?

When people whine about the removal of “Christmas” trees at pubic places, and removing reindeer and snowflakes from Starbucks cups as some imagined war on Christmas and Christianity, only then do I feel the need to remind them that none of that was present at the birth of Jesus.  These symbols are the symbols from two different Pagan festivals that occurred at this time of year.  They were adopted by Christians in an attempt to placate those who did not want to convert to Christianity by allowing Pagan traditions to remain.

Here is a historical reenactment, with a little bit of artistic license, to illustrate the point:

Constantine:  Sup brah?  I’m gonna be Christian, because Jesus is just alright with me!  Jesus is just alright, oh yeah!  I don’t know what they may say!  I don’t know what they may do!  But Jesus is just alright with me!

Roman subjects:  Oh, that’s nice.

Constantine:  And since I am emperor, and you are all my subjects too, you are all now Christian too.

Roman subjects:  Dude, didn’t we crucify that guy?

Constantine:  No, that was ze Jews!  You are Christian now!

Roman subjects:  Jews in Rome though, right?  Romans.  Like us.

Constantine:  No.  Well, yes…now.  Because anyone in Rome is now Christian.

Roman subjects:  Dude, I don’t know.  We like our ways, and our gods.  Besides, we have parties to plan for them.  It’s gonna be a rager.  You can come, if you don’t harsh the vibe.

Constantine:  No!  No parties for the birth of the sun!  Jesus is king!

Roman subjects:  Aren’t you king?

Constantine:  No, I’m better.  I am emperor.

Roman subjects:  But we put all this work into our party!  We will fight to protect our parties!

Constantine:  Um…let’s just change the name and reasons.  We don’t really need to fight right now.  We are busy conquering.

Some Roman subjects:  Deal!

Other Roman subjects:  Hopeless war!!!!!

Look, I am not here to criticize your beliefs.  If you are Christian, and believe that he was born conveniently near the solstice even though your own religion’s biblical scholars dispute that timeline, so be it.

If you wish me a Merry Christmas, I will wish it back.  To me, Christmas is one great day in the celebration of the festival of Yule.  I celebrate it out of tradition since that was the big holiday I grew up with.

If you wish me a Happy Hanukkah, I will wish the same to you

If you wish me a blessed Yule, well, I just might think you are awesome.

But don’t think for a minute that I will remain silent as you claim that your ultra-dominant holiday is under attack because the symbols your religion stole are occasionally removed from public display so as to make others feel more included.

They aren’t yours to whine over anyway.

Featured Image has been shared by so many different groups on my Facebook, that I can not say who the creator was.  It wasn’t me.