Dear Trump Voters,

The people in your life either think that you are too functionally idiotic to tie your own shoes, or that you are a racist piece of shit.  In most cases, it is probably a little of both.  I would say the ones still in your life are probably leaning toward the former, unless they too, are racist pieces of shit.

What has your savior accomplished?

  • The ACA remains in place and as broken as ever.
  • Families are being split apart by the jack-booted thugs at ICE and LEGAL RESIDENTS are shot in their amateur-hour raids.  Not enough people torn apart to make your jobs come back, (as if that was ever the reason they were taken anyway), but enough to make us look like fucking Nazis to the rest of the world.
  • Millions of dollars were wasted in a fireworks show causing no real damage in which Russia was tipped who tipped Assad solely to distract from the likelihood that the Trump campaign and Russia colluded to engage in dirty tricks to influence the election.
  • The LGBTQ community is being harassed in levels not seen since the AIDS panic.  A futile effort to get rid of those who are no threat to you.
  • Sean Spicer has publicly, as the mouthpiece for our head of state, denied the Holocaust.  Remember when you rabid asshats were calling for war with Iran and were touting Ahmadenijad’s holocaust denial as evidence the entire country needed to be bombed?  Well, using your logic, that’s now us.
  • Our allies are beginning to hate us, and our enemies are being threatened on Twitter by a petulant man-child.
  • Russia may be acting upset with us for Trump’s little light show, or may be trying to deflect from their relationship, but regardless, when two countries armed the way we are happen to be posturing in the same area… things can go horribly wrong.

What hasn’t he accomplished?

  • Are you closer to the heavily marketed American Dream based on anything he has done?
  • Are the coal jobs coming back?
  • Is crime over?
  • Is your child’s school any better?
  • Are the roads and bridges any better because of his actions?
  • Are you safer?

No, the only thing he has done, is made you aware of the other hateful and stupid fucks out there who were hiding in the shadows.

About Sean Spicer today, and Trump in general…  Many people have brought out Hanlon’s razor when I call them both evil.  If you don’t know it, (and if you’re a Trump supporter, that is a near-certainty), it is, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

In other words (so hopefully you Trump supporters can understand), “They ain’t evil, they just stupid”.

Because some people are stupid.  Some people misspeak.  But some people know that they are not cut out to be the motherfucking PRESS SECRETARY of the Untied States of America if they can’t do something as simple as realizing that Hitler killed 6 million Jews with chemical weapons.

Some people know they are not cut out for the job when they can’t hire someone whose job it is to talk for a living without saying some of the most reprehensible shit imaginable.  Some people are good enough people to put their fellow people over their ego.

So even if Trump is on the same brain-level as an amoeba, applying for the job, dividing the nation in the process, and taking the job was an act of malice against the people of this country and people all over the world.

And to you, the Trump supporters.  Even if you feel conned… even if you weren’t trying to be racist or xenophobic, or authortarian, or anti-human rights. or homophobic, or a Christian supremacist when you cast your ballot for him, the very fact you voted in such an uniformed and gullible way is an act of malice against the rest of your country.

You get no sympathy from me when his shit affects you too.

Look! A Friday Blog!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you miss me?

No?

Fine!

I missed blog-type-thinging a little however, so here I am, post-type=thinging, on Friday!  Like I originally intended to do.  I might actually schedule time on Fridays to post-type-thing, but more likely I will just continue my random on-again, off-again posting style you all have come to know and detest.  Because I’m like, so totally random!  Now hand me my pumpkin spice frappuccino!

This morning, I am feeling awful.  I have been for a couple of days now.  My methods for attempting to feel better have failed miserably, so I miserably lie in bed typing this here post-type-thing wishing I felt belt better.

It’s okay though, I will feel physically better soon enough, however, and then…look out.

For what?  I am not exactly sure, but something.  Maybe ships at sea?  You decide.  Just look out.  I do not want to usurp your free will by telling you what you need to look out for.  In fact, to be completely transparent, even telling you to look out is probably overstepping my bounds.  So, I should ask that you please look out if you feel so inclined.

Okay, let’s see…what shall we talk about?

Oh, I know!

How about Mr. Bitter Beer Face, Alleged White Supremacist Terrorist Adam Purinton?

For those of you who don’t know, I live in the Kansas City metro area, of which Olathe is definitely a part.  In case you weren’t aware, some fucking idiotic terrorist Navy veteran, allegedly walked into a bar and allegedly shouted, “Get out of my country!” before allegedly shooting two Indian men and a white man trying to stop him because he allegedly thought they were Muslims and that would somehow allegedly justify it to all of the fucking pieces of shit who allegedly think it’s only a tragedy that they weren’t even Muslim.

Now, I only point out he was a Navy veteran, not to generalize veterans, but to combat the notion that because someone wore the uniform, that automatically makes them a good person and worthy of respect.  This piece of shit committed an act of domestic terrorism, not too far from where I live.  Can we please get over the jingoistic “support out troops and veterans at all costs” brainwashing we have had to endure?

While we are on the subject of brainwashing, let’s talk about Trump voters.

Is America great yet?  

How is that working out for you so far?  Got that great job yet?  I know it’s only been a month, but you all were blaming Obama for things that happened before he even took office.  So, why isn’t America great?

I am going to go off an “I told you so!” rant now.

I know someone with a business in legal cannabis.  He voted for Trump.  I warned him.  Over and over again I said that a Trump administration would be against it.  He argued and argued.  Didn’t believe me one bit.  Told me that I was being brainwashed by the mainstream media.  He said Trump wouldn’t go after it because of states’ rights.  Then Sessions was nominated and confirmed.  And yesterday, just as I suspected, in Trump and company’s desire to further entrench the police state, his mouthpiece Spicer announced that we should expect enforcement of federal anti-marijuana laws.  Now, I haven’t used cannabis since I lived in Washington because I am paranoid about ending up in a for-profit prison doing slave-labor.  That said, I still think it should be legal, even though this won’t really affect me.  I really hope he gets to keep his assets.  I really hope he isn’t raided and put in prison.  If it happens to him, or other Trump voters, well, it’s on them.

Also, for those of you who believe Trump’s falsely inflated crime numbers, just wait until we have a real drug war again with cartels controlling something millions of Americans create a demand for.  Good luck stopping that with your little wall.

I also had an argument with someone over the future of Social Security and Medicare prior to the election.  I warned that with a Ryan as Speaker, and Trump in the White House, the programs would be drastically cut, to the point of being almost useless.  This person told me the programs were too sacred and it would never fly.  And yet after the election, the only bill put forth to extend the life of the Social Security Trust Fund that wouldn’t need extending were it not previously raided, is to cut benefits without lifting the payroll tax cap.

Trump and his jackbooted ICE agents (Schutzstaffel) are rounding up illegal immigrants in unheard of numbers.  How is that working out for you?  Do you feel safer when the Brownshirts come to a hospital to remove a woman with a brain tumor?  Does it make you feel safe when the Brownshirts raid a court to detain a woman seeking a restraining order from an abusive partner?  How about knowing that the tip came from her alleged abuser?  How is that fucking great?

Is it great that the obsolete coal industry is allowed to dump their ash into our fucking drinking water?

Small business owners, are you experiencing record profits with all those barriers to your business taken down, or have those executive orders not benefited you yet?

Is it great that other nations have to debate whether or not to rescind an invitation by their Prime Minister for a State Visit?

Is it great that the severely mentally ill can buy firearms?

Is it great that the Arizona Senate passed a bill allowing for the seizure of assets of protest organizers if those protests should turn violent even if they weren’t planned to be?

Is it great that Steve Bannon said that many of the cabinet nominees were specifically selected to destroy their respective agencies?

So, please, tell me…

Is America Great Again?

Maybe by next Friday…

 

 

 

 

St. Valentine’s Day For Stupids

Hello dear reader(s)!

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!  If you’re stupid, you may not know what St. Valentine’s Day is all about.  You may not know proper behavior or customs for this day.  Never fear, this article is here to help you avoid the common pitfalls of this day, to keep you from making a major faux pas (facsimile paw) and end up sleeping out on the couch while your significant other is getting railed in your bed by someone else.

The history 

“In order to succeed in the present, one must know the past, provided it is an approved Christian-friendly version of the past that celebrates white supremacy and traditional values of boring sex and loveless servitude-based marriage.” – Betsy DeVos

It all starts in a little town somewhere in Italy which doesn’t matter because it is not in America…

Street Valentino was a young man who was seeking a better life for himself.  A hard worker, and nice guy, he just wanted the opportunity to succeed in something other than the fishing and cheese making his little Italian town was known for.  He decided, like many people, to come to America, land of those who believe they are free.  Before setting sail on the commercial airline, he changed his name to Steve Valentine in order to appear less Italian to the racist and xenophobic Trump supporters.

Upon landing at JFK in New York, Valentine was detained by Customs and Border Patrol thugs because he might be too dark.  After 18 hours of extreme vetting, including multiple cavity searches performed by Billy Billy, and checking all of his social media accounts to ensure that Valentine was not talking shit about Führer Putin or his puppet Trump, he was granted entry into the United States.

Valentine drove to Little Italy.  He loved it, but he thought there was too much concrete.  He missed the rolling hills of his beloved little Italian town and decided he needed to move to somewhere with more open space.  Since he loved Bocce Ball so much, and it reminded him of bowling, he decided the best place to go would be Bowling Green, KY.

The people of Bowling Green were hostile to the newcomer.  Valentine was inundated by comments like, “You need to go back to wherever you came from, you dirty Muslim!” whenever he would try to stop a man from raping his sister.  Even the men’s sisters were hostile at first, because they would shout, “Mind your own business, you dirty Muslim!”  Valentine’s defense that he was actually Roman Catholic fell on deaf ears.

The St. Valentine’s Day Bowling Green Massacre

One day, walking down the street to his job as a pinsetter, Valentine heard cries from a woman yelling for help.  He was hesitant, since every other time he had tried to intervene in a rape he had been told off by both the victim, and her brother, but her cries sounded so sincere that he ran to her aid.

She and Valentine successfully fought off her brother.  As he helped the young woman to her feet, she embraced him in a hug of gratitude.  Unfortunately for Valentine, Kellyanne Conway just happened to be walking by at the time, and in a fit of rage over an obvious Muslim hugging a white woman, she reached into her purse and pulled out an AR-15, shooting Valentine, the woman, the rapist brother on the ground, fourteen innocent bystanders, a poodle, and conveniently for her boss, Michael Flynn.

After police searched the pockets of Valentine, they found this letter to a woman in Italy in his pocket.

Dearest Maria,

I am coming home.  America is not what it used to be.  The people here are crazy, uneducated, and revel in their ignorance.  I long to hold you once more in my arms.  I love you so very much, and though I was going to send for you once established here, it is clear to me that we could lead a far better life back home, or anywhere else, really.  

I guess I’ll just have to tell everyone in Italy first that I discovered the cure for every cancer ever.  

Yours always,

Street Valentino

Tips to make this the best St. Valentine’s Day ever

  1. Resist  
  2. Educate yourself
  3. Love
  4. Be kind
  5. Don’t just do it today
  6. Smile
  7. Enjoy life
  8. Tell people how you feel
  9. Turn off the television
  10. Check sources

Well, dear reader(s), I wish all of you a great and happy St. Valentine’s Day.  Remember that anything else you hear about this day is fake news, and my version of this story is to keep the country safe and shall not be questioned.

 

Posting Update

Hello dear reader(s)!

Right now, I’m sick to death of talking about Trump and his Republikanz.  I might still post about it when something major happens that really needs to be posted about, (by me), but fuck man, I don’t want to dwell too much on the takeover of our country by fascists until it is absolutely necessary.

The fact is, I am happy.   Really happy.  Happier than I’ve been in a long time.   Am I scared all that will be taken away?  Yeah.  Can I change that right now?   No.   Therefore, I am making the conscious decision to enjoy what I have while I can.

When they take away my Medicare or my disability, I’ll worry then. Right now, I have to live and hope they don’t.  I have to hope they don’t round us all up. I still have to enjoy life or else why live it?

So unless something is going down that isn’t already clear, I think I’ll just add a blurb about resisting Trump below each post, but will resume my regular, varied, crappy posts you have all come to know and despise.

Until next time dear reader(s),

Peace out.

 

 

The Real Way To Make America Great Again

Hello dear reader(s)!

America is not great.  Again.  We need to make it great.  Again.  It was supposed to be made great again by a man claiming he would make it great again.   Again.  That was done at a time when America, while not great, was pretty good.  Now, it is not great, again.  And it is not good.  America is bad.  Really bad.  Not even really bad in the good kind of way where you just want to spank it with the flogger.  Again, and again, and again.

But hope is not lost.  Neither is Hope.  Hope just got a new GPS system and reviewed it on her blog.  It seems like a pretty good deal, and you can click the non-existent link here, to be taken to a special offer for reader(s) of this here blog-type-thing if you use the exclusive promo code IFUCKINGLOVEGPS at checkout.  (Offer not valid.)

At any rate, there is still a chance that America can be made great.  Again.

(At any rate, there is still a chance that America can be made great.)

Very good.

Not now, of course, but soon.  Here is how.

  • I‘m envisioning a Designated Survivor scenario  Note:  I am not advocating for a Designated Survivor scenario, just saying it would be one of the fastest ways to get America back on track to all of the greatness making.  Maybe no Keifer Sutherland this time.  I’m thinking Elizabeth Warren somehow ends up being the go-to.
  • 2018 midterms  We overcome the gerrymandering, and all other manderings to wash away ze treasonous Republikanz in a blue wave.  Or maybe a tsunami comes and washes them all away.  That would be a blue wave too.  (One they might make happen, with their lack of care for the environment.)  We vote in the most progressive candidates running, and then we hold the trials.  Then we all go out for ice cream and watch otters play to help heal the wounds of this nation.  Because nobody can think about hate while watching otters.
  • Get money out of politics  All campaigns are financed by a guy named Joe who hangs out near the off-ramp of I-70 East.  Public officials are not allowed to carry cash.  No currency can change hands anywhere politics are discussed.  Politicians work solely for their love of country and are entitled to no salary.  Money is now out of politics.  Also, registered lobbyists are summarily executed in a public forum, which you can attend, for the low, low price of $24.95 payable by credit only as money has been taken out of politics.
  • Move election day  The most important month of campaigns occurs during football season, when most of the country is too stupid and brainwashed into caring about golden-boy Tommy and company and all the surrounding hype.  Conventions should take place after the Superbowl, and elections should happen prior to the Hall of Fame Game.  They should also be on a Sunday, because the Lord is resting that day and I’m sick of fucking Jesus and his abusive dad meddling in my politics.  Plus, you know, easier for people to get to the polls.
  • Fine the press for favoring candidates in terms of airtime  Create a multi-party coalition that ensures each candidate gets equal time in substantial campaign messages.  Also fine the press each time they are well-aware a piece of shit like Trump lies and they don’t call that piece of shit out on it.
  • Build a wall  Then build a few more.  Add rooftops.  Some plumbing and electric.  Some furniture.  Add the homeless.
  • Have a lot of sex and/or masturbate  It is hard to think about politics when you’re getting your ____ ______ as you’re hanging upside down from someone’s ____ with a ____ in your ____ while trying to smile for the camera.  I’ve heard.
  • Watch baby otters  I mean, come on.  Baby otters.  They are too damned cute.  Do you think this little guy cares that you are scared of people in other countries for no real reason?
  • Pass a law, officially changing our name from The United States to Great America  Be sure to pay the theme parks for the naming rights.
  • Quit being a bunch of ignorant, racist fucking inbred idiots  THAT would be great.

Well my dear reader(s), I hoped you enjoyed our time together today.  For all of us here at MyFridayBlog™, (me), goodnight.

 

 

Celebrating in the Dark

Hello dear revolutionary(s)!

What are you doing to resist?

If you’re like me, the answer, is probably, “Not a whole hell of a lot.”

Of sure, you might be speaking out on your social media.  You might have made phone calls to your Representative’s offices only to be brushed off.  You might be going to Starbucks in an attempt to counteract the fascist boycott of their business for daring to announce they will hire refugees, despite disliking their coffee and wanting to support local coffee instead.  You might have deleted Uber, if you ever used Uber and weren’t already anti-Uber for their union-busting and attempts to avoid any kind of responsible regulation for the safety of those who use their service.  You may have donated to the ACLU.  You have helped spread the word about what is happening.  You may have even shown up to a protest or two, or possibly even helped to organize one or more.

Now what?

Well, now it is time to celebrate.

Why?  Have we won?  Did we score an important victory?

Hahahaha!  No.

Not even close.

In fact, until there is a full-scale revolution (something that will not happen until those with the weapons of war are literally watching their families starve), this country is lost.  The Republicans are ignoring the Constitution.  They are changing the rules as they go.  There is no effective opposition, and any attempts at one have been successfully silenced or ignored.  Absolute power has been achieved, and any notion you have of being free is nothing more than a fantasy.

So why celebrate?

Because, for right now, you can.  You may not be able to soon.  Don’t listen to the memes going around trying to shame you for attempting to enjoy yourself during this time.  What else are you going to do?

Soon, the wonderfully erotic sex you enjoy may be illegal.  Soon, the music you listen to may be banned.  Soon, you will have no time to celebrate as the state demands more of your time for work in their service.  Soon, the beautiful light of the sun, filtered through clouds, will be obscured by thick layers of pollution.  Soon, you will not be healthy enough for celebration.

Do it now.  Celebrate now, while you still can.

Create art, write poetry, sing songs, and play music.  Leave record for those in the future that there is another way than that which brought us down.  Reach out to people with love.  Enjoy these days to the best of your ability, knowing what is coming.

Despite those who speak to the contrary, you can resist while having a good time.  It is okay to fill out stupid surveys on Facebook and to re-post articles about the atrocities the Republicans are committing.  The two actions are not mutually exclusive.

These are dark times.  But you are alive today.  Celebrate that.  Enjoying yourself is an act of resistance in and of itself.  They want people to get used to the idea that misery is acceptable.  Resist that.  Resist that life should be about work, hate, and obedience.  Celebrate today.



Hello dear reader(s)!

Today I have a doctor appointment.  It is a follow-up for my appendectomy.  Tomorrow, I have another appointment with my oncologist.  I have two large booklets of paperwork to fill out for each one, and I am getting really tired of it.

People do not know how much work goes into being sick.  The amount of trees felled for duplicate questionnaires and disclosures for my illness is depressing.  The amount of time I have spent dealing with patient registrations, pre-registrations, filling out forms, calling and responding to calls from medical office staff, and just waiting to actually see doctors once my appointment begins is like a having a full-time job in and of itself.

Despite this, I will celebrate when I can.  Today, until sundown on my path, is Imbolc.  I intend to celebrate the first signs of Spring, as they peek out from this cold and darkness.

As much crap is going on this world, I have plenty to be grateful for.  I will celebrate that while I can.

Good luck to us all.

Vicious Cycle

Hello dear revolutionary(s)!

Yesterday, at least 13 Jewish Community Centers were evacuated due to bomb threats.  Today, it appears as though some have already been evacuated this morning for the same, heinous reason.

My Facebook feed was lit up last night with debates over whether the new Republican administration had emboldened anti-Semitic assholes in this nation, or whether or not it has much less to do with the administration than people think, as anti-Semitic bullshit has been on the rise in this nation for years.

I did my best to stay out of the debate, because I wanted to hold onto the good mood I was in yesterday, the potential emotion involved of some of the participants who may have a personal stake, and because I was freaking exhausted.

But I saw this debate, with both sides agreeing how terrible it is, regardless of how it happened, and I realized how awful we can be at really understanding the simple nuance of things.  We want everything to be simple.  To be black and white.  And in that desire to keep things simple, we over-complicate things.  Because the simple answer to this debate, is that both sides are absolutely right.

The fact is, this administration would not exist, were hate against other ethnicities, other religions, other sexual orientations, other sexes, or other any other category that people choose to group other people into – not on the rise in recent years.

The fact is also, that public and criminal incidents of this type of emboldened, hateful bullshit have increased since the campaign, election, and inauguration of this Republican-Nazi administration.

It is a vicious cycle.  Nazis are given deference by a ratings-hungry, agenda-driven, corporate media as if their opinions are actually valid and not to be laughed off camera or given no airtime at all.  Those Nazis then elect a head Nazi to power.  The rest of the Nazis, still fearful of potential public backlash, see head Nazi in power and suddenly realize it is safe for them and their backwards, reprehensible, idiotic, hateful, disproved ideas and behavior to come out of the woodwork.

I support a free press, but television news and cable news networks are not a free press.  They are a ratings-reliant, propaganda system that creates news out of inflammatory nonsense in order to make money.  They do not report the news, and do not care about the truth.

A debate currently taking place is whether or not it is okay to punch self-admitted Nazis while they are being interviewed.  I strongly believe the answer is yes, but that isn’t the debate we should be having.  The debate we should be having is whether or not it is okay to punch the people who decided to give this asshole an interview in the first place.  Not all opinions are valid.  It is not the responsibility of the press to ensure that Nazis get interviews, and Nazi rallies disguised as political campaign stops are carried in full.  It is the responsibility to bring the people the truth about what is happening in the world, particularly when that truth is being so blatantly obstructed.  Being objective does not mean validating bullshit.

I’m not going to entirely blame the press, though.  The fact of the matter is that too many Americans are hateful, racist, anti-Semitic, Christian-fundamentalist, pieces of shit.

But there was a time once, even in my life, where if you wanted to fly a Nazi flag, it was going to be with a bunch of your fellow inbred fucking idiots behind your single-wide in your fucking trailer park.  And you sure as hell weren’t going to be interviewed as if what you had to say was any more valid than the rantings of the most unstable psychiatric patient who had been off their medication too long.

Cable and television news are not your friend.  They are not a friend to democracy.  Find news that investigates.  Support them.  Headlines are usually just tools of distraction.  Read the stories. Think.  Stop the cycle.



Hello dear reader(s)!

I want to talk about love today.  I think love is more important than ever.  I think you should be open to it.  Realize that means putting yourself out there, and making yourself vulnerable.  Realize that it means you are going to get hurt a few times before you find someone who doesn’t want to hurt you.  (At least, not in the ways you don’t like.)  Realize that it means that there are going to be a few people who will know your secrets, and know the deepest parts of you that you don’t believe deserve to know.  That’s okay.  Because when you find someone to love, who loves you, it will all be worth it.  Love yourself enough to know that you can withstand the heartache needed in order to find it.

Now, more than ever, love matters.  As hate fills everything around you, take comfort in your love.  Radiate that love, and maybe people will see there is a better way.

Good luck today, everyone (except fascists).