Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Dogs, Cats…

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am not writing my book right now.  My computer is getting too hot, and I have a feeling it might take a proverbial dump on me, so I have put off the writing of anything important to me until I can be more assured it will not be lost to the sketchy electronics in this crappy lovely computer.

On the plus side, my blog-type-thing isn’t important to me, which means I can write here until my computer is resigned to the big recycling heap in the sky.  (Recycle it?  Not with MY browsing history!)

So…where did we leave off?

I think we were nearing the meeting of O’Rinn and Alexandra at the battle of Lethos.

Surrounded by the bodies of his fallen enemies, O’Rinn was still feeling the effects of the adrenaline.  He knew if he did not find an outlet, the beast within would once again emerge.  He could not risk his allies from the East learning his truth.  He wanted to tear into someone, but all his opponents were dead.  His blood felt as if it were boiling and his muscles tensed tightly, causing him to look more animal than human.  Indeed, he was, but he knew that to be a secret best kept to himself.  He began his attempts at meditation.  He visualized his home by the rocky shores of the western ocean and attempted to feel the serenity and peace he felt when home.  

Out of the water, she came.  Her dark eyes, both deep and piercing, held his gaze as he looked upon her beauty.  Her raven hair fell onto her pale shoulders.   Her warrior dress seemed to emphasize each and every curve of her body.  Rather than calming the beast, this image of her seemed to only stir the fire within.  As she approached closer, he saw the blood stains she proudly bore upon her clothing, and the ocean scene faded away.  The desolate, bloody battlefield reemerged and still she came closer.  He realized he wasn’t imagining her with the ocean, but knew she was straight out of his dreams.  

“I am eternally grateful to you, great warrior,” she began as she touched his cheek with her fingertips.  “Our people surely would not have survived this onslaught without your courage and skill.”  

O’Rinn replied, “No need to be grateful, we of the Albion have a common enemy.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We are also grateful for your fighters, and especially a woman so brave as yourself.”

“Queen.” Alexandra corrected.  “And since you were clearly ignorant of that fact, I will not be offended that you did not kneel before me.”

“I kneel before no one,” O’Rinn stated with a slightly annoyed tone.

“Your poor lovers,” Alexandra answered as she looked hypnotically into his eyes.  “I am quite certain I will have you kneeling before me by nightfall,” she continued as she removed her hand from his cheek and brought it down to firmly grip his co-

Wait, what?  We didn’t leave off there?!?!!  You mean I hadn’t been posting this story all along?   Oh, well…what do you want from me?

I don’t want to write about current events.  It’s too depressing right now, and there are plenty of people with a much larger influence speaking to it all better than I can.

Life is pretty good, with the exception of health and wishing I were more financially secure, so that is nothing worth writing about either.

I could go into more details about my health, but I am still coming to grips with the reality that there is no getting better from this.  I had always thought that if I could just take care of X, Y, and Z, that I could resume a somewhat normal and independent life, and learning that there is no taking care of X, Y, and Z is a little hard to handle.  Symptom management with little results seems to be all I can do.  At least I won’t be wasting as much co-pays on different specialists who can’t do anything for me anymore.  It is too depressing to think about for very long.

I fell backward and stepped on my phone last week.   My replacement phone literally just arrived a minute ago.  It is amazing how much you don’t realize you use your phone until you don’t have one.  It is pathetic how much I have come to rely on it.  I mostly miss the camera.  It is hard to take naughty pictures while holding up my computer.  (Kidding.  It is actually easy to take naughty pictures using my computer.)  (Kidding, I don’t take naughty pictures*, unless you count taking pictures of the naughty food treats my fiance spoils me with.)  (*Subject to change based on finances.)

Anyway, I guess what I am saying, is that I am probably back for now, but might just write a bunch of stories because there really isn’t much I want to talk about and I am not yet at the point where I need to start camming in order to keep afloat.

I hope you all are doing well, and are enjoying the day of labor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What In The Actual F-ck?!?

Hello dear reader(s)!

Guess who’s back?  Back again?  Josh is back.  Sorry.

I know I keep saying that I will post more consistently.  Then I post for a couple days straight, and drop off for like a week.  My bad.  I keep thinking I can actually manage this.  Lately however, I just can’t.  In fact, I literally can’t even.  Yes, one pumpkin spice frappuccino for McKenzie too.

So what in actual fuck, Josh?  Where you been?  Why the long face?  You’re not a horse.

Well, I’ve been here, mostly.  But I’ve been tired.  Tired as fuck.  In the world of fucked-up medical shit, we like to call it fatigue.  Actually, we like to call it napping, but tomato tomato.  I’m not going to call the whole thing off, however.  Anything you can do I can do better.  Anyway…

I’ve been furiously trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.  Between my GI symptoms, a few other ones, and the fatigue, I was getting scared.

Fortunately, my fiance (yup, I’m engaged), is a super sleuth and figured out what is going on that some really great doctors couldn’t figure out during literal YEARS of complaining.  (Literally.)  The tendency of doctors to look at individual symptoms as separate systems requiring separate specialists causing separate tests and separate co-pays and co-insurance amounts, caused them all to overlook something wrong that ties it all together and makes perfect sense given something else we already knew was wrong.  So now I know what the problem is, (besides run-on sentences) the only issue is that it seems to be one of those “tough shit, get used it” type of issues.  It is still somewhat comforting to know that I am not losing my mind, (well…totally, anyway), and there IS a physical reason for all of these issues.

Anywho, this is good news for my writing, as now I will likely be seeing less doctors to try to find something that isn’t there (That colonoscopy sure was shitty.  Get it?  Shitty?) and will be less likely to try to force myself to do things I can’t do.  That means more time at home, where a computer will likely be handy.

But…my writing may soon start to move away from this here blog-type-thing on a temporary basis.  I am going to begin considering beginning to plan the beginning of the study of whether or not I should begin to plan the beginning of the process for beginning to write my book, starting all the way from the beginning.  Good for my writing, bad for this here blog-type-thing.  Unless I get stuck, and decide to post in this here blog-type-thing as a way to break up the monotony, since Mono and Tony have drifted apart since becoming a Hollywood power couple anyway.

So now that y’all know what is up, I guess I should grace you all with one of my rants, y’all have come to know and despise.

Ready?  Okay!  Be aggressive, B-E aggressive!

YOU CAN’T BE A RACIST AND A PAGAN!!!!

You can, I guess, but you’re a fucking idiot and should call yourself something else.  In a system of beliefs of honoring many different Goddesses and Gods as a representation of the natural forces that created all, your superiority complex does not jive.  You know not of what you speak, you know not of what you claim to be, and if you show up to any of my pagan events I will personally cut your fucking heart out with my athame.

You are not welcome in my community.  You are not welcome near my path.  You should not be welcome anywhere on this planet, but not everyone has standards.  Fuck off, and die, you Nazi trash pieces of shit.  Tell your chosen Gods they can go fuck themselves if they support you.  (They don’t.)

If you are a pagan, and want more acceptance of your belief system, and less persecution from others, you need to be calling out these racist fucks trying to twist your path to justify their hate too.  Just because hardly any of the followers of the Abrahamic religions do it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t too.  We need to tell these fuck-bags they do not have a home in our communities.  

On a happier note, I choose high C.  I think high C is a happy note.  Yes, if it is part of a minor chord, it could be sad, but the note itself is happy.  It is so happy, it 1046.502 hertz.

Okay, dear reader(s), that’s all for me.  Let’s recap what we have learned today, shall we?  No?  Too bad!

I will not be posting very consistently (big shocker, and nothing new), but for different reasons, and I hate my health.  Please refer any additional questions to my counsel, who doesn’t exist.

Finally, I will still try and read y’all from time to time, even when I am not posting, just because you is smart, you is kind, you is not really important since you’re just a tiny spec in this vast universe, but tell yourself whatever you need to sleep better at night.

Pagans Can Suck Too

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think all Christians like all other Christians or the things other Christians do?  Do you think all Muslims like all other Muslims and all they do?  If you do, I can show you actual wars that would suggest otherwise.

I am a Pagan.  I am an eclectic Pagan, who does not belong to a coven.  I do (when I can), belong to a group that celebrates the Sabbats together, however, we all have pretty different beliefs and ideologies.  The great thing about being a Pagan, is that most of us are not trying to convert each other into believing the same.

However, that isn’t to say that there aren’t things that other Pagans do that annoy the shit out of me.  It isn’t to say that there aren’t some Pagans who I wish would call themselves something else because I’d rather not associate with them.

So, because I like lists, for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, let me list those Pagan-type people who annoy the living fuck out of me.

  1. Fucking racist Pagans  This is pretty prevalent in the Norse Pagan groups.  #NotallNorsePagans.  It, of course, is not everyone who is down with the legends of Odin, but substantially too many.  You aren’t superior, you’re not a fucking viking, and I saw your stupid asses on the news marching in Charlottesville today, and trust me, you look like fucking inbred hillbillies that couldn’t fucking lift a toy hammer, let alone carry Thor’s.  I hope you all die.  I’m not kidding.  See a Nazi, shoot a Nazi.  More on the hate crime and our inept President’s piss-ant response tomorrow when I calm down so I don’t say anything that could warrant a visit to my home by the Secret Service.
  2. Believe in anything just because it isn’t mainstream Pagans  If I hear one more thing about Mercury retrograde, I am going to do something that I haven’t quite thought of yet, but trust me, it will be bad.  Mercury never goes retrograde.  It appears to go retrograde.  There is no change in the gravitational pull from Mercury during this time.  Furthermore, just because Mercury was the Roman god of travelers and transporters of goods, does not mean that a planet appearing to reverse orbit (once again, it does not) will affect your travel plans or communication during this time.  Even if the orbit did reverse (it is an optical illusion), the gravitational effect on you from Mercury would be less than that of a car passing you on the street, given the distance you are from that planet.  Just because something is mystical and was once believed, doesn’t mean it still should be.  After all, some believed the Earth was flat, only fucking idiots like Tia Tequilia believe that now.
  3. Path conversion Pagans  Your path is not mine.  If you want to join a converting religion, why aren’t you a Catholic?  We can agree to disagree, no matter what the pope says.  If you need to beat people onto your path, your path is probably made up of horseshit.
  4. Lifestyle conversion Pagans  I am sex-positive.  My path is sex-positive.  A whole lot of Pagan paths are.  But not all.  Everyone’s path is different and that should be okay.  Additionally, many Pagan paths are cool with polyamory.  I am cool with polyamory, even though I am not polyamorous and am quite happy being monogamous.  If you aren’t cool with my monogamy, I am not cool with you.  So go fuck yourself, or your partner, or your group, or nobody.  Up to you.
  5. Lazy Pagans  These are the Pagans who like to preach things then do absolutely fuck-all about it.  For example, a while ago, my little city had its LGBTQ Pride Day.  It was fun.  A whole lot of major Pagan paths, and covens, are very vocal about supporting LGBTQ rights.  In most of the paths, it is pretty clear that joining the masculine and feminine energies are energies, and not necessarily males and females.  Indeed, many paths speak of the energies existing within everyone.  (Something I strongly believe.)  And yet, on the local LGBTQ Pride Day, did I see booths for Pagan groups and their covens?  Nope.  Didn’t see any in the bit of parade I watched either (though admittedly, I may have missed them if they marched since I didn’t see the whole thing.)  But do you know what I did see?  Christian churches (The ones who live by a book that calls a man lying with another man an abomination).   They marched with LGBTQ-friendly church banners, and had booths at the event.  If Chrisitans can show up in support when their own book dislikes something, maybe the people who think it isn’t a problem could show up too.
  6. Pagans who say one thing, and do another  Like the ones who constantly whine about not being taken seriously yet vote for Christian Supremacists.  Or the ones who deny climate-change.  “I love nature, as long as it drowns coastal cities and dries up crops.”
  7. Hollywood Pagans  (This doesn’t mean Pagans who might live in Hollywood.)  Guess what, I have also seen The Craft.  It’s actually a pretty decent movie.  I saw Practical Magic.  Less decent in my opinion, but taste is subjective, I guess.  I have seen Hocus Pocus.  Funny as hell, but not a guide to anything.  I also like Buffy, but I can guarantee you that Willow and Tara are not your typical Pagan.
  8. Light-only Pagans  It’s okay to get down.  It’s okay to embrace the darkness every once in a while.  And, in my opinion, it is okay to do what is necessary to keep someone from harming you.  While I do try to live according to the Wiccan Rede (even though I am not Wiccan), I will take leeway when harming someone is in my own defense or the defense of others.  This is my path, and if you take issue with it, maybe you should look more closely at yours.  An it harm none, do as ye will, but I guarantee you, I take no issue in harming a Nazi.
  9. Pick-up Pagans  As a male, who is attracted to females, I can safely say that I am usually in the minority in most Pagan circles.  There are often a lot of females around at any events I attend.  Many are single, and I would be blind to be unaware of this fact.  However, not once have I, nor should anyone else attend these functions for the sole purpose of hitting on other Pagans.  Sure, you may connect with a Pagan, (similar interest can do that), and maybe something will grow from there, but if you are using your Pagan status as a dating service, you’re just a desperate sleeze.  My love is a Pagan, but us getting together has more to do with seat belts than our spirituality.  That was like a bonus.
  10. Pagans of convenience  These are the Pagans who join up to rebel or be different, but really are not at all on a spiritual path.  They will drop out when faced with any pressure from the overwhelming masses who do not understand why anyone in this nation isn’t Christian, or at the first sign of hardship in life.  “It didn’t work, I am going to go back to believing in a zombie.”  They will decide all Pagans are bad when they are confronted with any of the above types of annoying Pagans.  They will claim they grew-up.  They were never interested in being Pagan, only in being part of clique.

In any group, there are people you would rather not associate with.  It is important to remember this.  Not all Christians are homophobic assholes.  Not all Muslims are terrorists or women abusers.

But as soon as we fail to call-out those who we feel do not represent us, we might as well join them.

1/4-Ass Post

Hello dear reader(s)!

I had doctor appointments today.   Good times.   So I’ll be back tomorrow.   That’s why you’re getting this quarter-assed post from me today.   I’d call it a half-assed post, but that would require twice as much effort.

Okay, so…that’s about it for this one.  Maybe I should’ve called this 1/16-assed post.

Friends With Benefits

Hello dear reader(s)!

This post is not about fuck buddies.  I am talking about the kind of benefits you might get from a job.  Benefits like good health insurance, 401K, a pension (if they still have those, and won’t sue to get out of them later), short and long-term disability benefits, a large coke, and a side of onion rings.

I remember when I didn’t have any benefits.  I had friends with benefits, that I was very jealous of.  Having no health insurance sucked.  I was always scared something catastrophic would happen if I were to get sick or injured.  I racked up a lot of medical debt during that time, from the non-catastrophic but still emergent things I needed done.

Eventually, I got a job with good benefits.  It came right in time as only about a year later I really started showing signs that I had cancer.  I was extremely fortunate to have had that job and those benefits when I did.  My company self-insured, but used a major insurance company to administer their plan.  It was a great plan, much better than any of the standard plans you see on the exchanges, or even with a good Medicare Advantage plan.

Now class, pay attention, because here is where I propose a plan for healthcare in this nation that might actually be feasible.  Ready?

Start by taking away the exchange and individual insurance markets from the health insurance companies, and give everyone not on a group plan Medicare.  We will not get a Medicare-for-all system as long as these companies are buying our politicians.  Even taking away the individual markets will require some strength on the part of those in power, but it will make those officials hugely popular with their constituents.  In exchange for losing the individual markets to Medicare, they can open their Medicare Supplemental and Medicare Advantage plans to those new Medicare recipients, provided those plans closed the donut-hole for prescriptions.  Some revenue for them would be better than none to them, which is the only other viable alternative.

In the meantime, the insurance companies can continue to insure and administer group plans, but all ACA requirements on plan quality must remain, and the plans must cover at least what Medicare does, for less cost to the employee, so that those plans are not seen as punishment for working.  Health coverage from a job should be an actual benefit.

Medicare should be allowed to then negotiate with pharmaceutical companies and other provider groups to lower healthcare costs.

My proposal would be paid for by lifting the payroll tax cap, a cut to the growth rate of our defense budget, and by folding the VA into the new Medicare system, and selling the facilities and assets to private hospital groups to be privately run, provided they agree to all of Medicare’s rules.  Our veterans will no longer have to wait and be neglected at some sub-standard facility.  Veteran’s Medicare would not have coinsurance but would be administered by Medicare rather than having a separate department and more overhead.

I would attempt to phase out the insurance companies from group plans as well, allowing those companies to reconfigure and find other ways to remain in business, but that would likely be a non-starter until automation has made employment obsolete and most of us are on a universal basic income.

Any representative who wishes to advance this or a similar proposal in order to fix the broken healthcare system in this country is more than welcome to do so, and can take all the credit for it.

The only thing I ask in return is that I have healthcare when I need it.

 

 

 

Updating The System

Hello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for the late hour of this post, but for like the fucking five hundredth day in a row, Windows decided to install updates again that took a few fucking hours to get done.  I have news for Microsoft, I am not working for the DNC, and therefore it is unlikely my little Surface is going to be a target of Russian hackers in collusion with the white house.

While I was waiting for said updates, I fell asleep.  I am fucking exhausted.  My own system could use an update.  Too many ups and downs lately are having their effect.  It isn’t fair to whine about it to anyone near me as what they are going through is far worse, but I do still feel, and I feel for them as well.

Oh well, life goes on, things will get better at some point, and no matter what, I will be okay.  I just wish that I had a little break in order to apply my own system updates.  A time where I can shut down and not have to deal with anything else while I make myself ready for the work ahead.

I would love to go hiking, as that is always a good reset, but it is too damn hot here (or too much on fire) and I am too damn broke to go anywhere that isn’t.  Maybe a nice walk tonight when the sun goes down will apply the patch I need to keep my system running until the full updates can be downloaded.

Anyway, I hope all of you are having a good weekend, and your operating systems are in good shape.

 

 

 

 

 

10 Reasons I Am Happy

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today isn’t the happiest day I have had in a while.  There is a dark cloud of an impending loss hanging over everything, and this entire month is filled with bad memories that still haunt me.  Too many bad things have happened in July, and I sometimes just wish I could skip the month.

But, there have been and will continue to be some good things too.  It is important for me not to lose sight of that.

As such, in accordance with article IV of the MyFridayBlog™ charter of Sector 7, row 8, next to the bean burritos, I present to you 10 reasons I am happy, despite this being a rather unhappy time.  Please hold your questions and comments until after the presentation.  No food or drink in the auditorium, unless accompanied by a liability waiver and $100,000 bond.  Please keep your seat belts fastened and your tray tables and seat backs in their full, upright positions until such a time as the captain has deemed it is safe to move about the cabin.

  1. Some very stressful uncertainty has seemed to have settled  Sure, not everything is peaches and cream over filet of unicorn in a rainbow chutney, but at least I do not feel like I am waiting for the proverbial 8,000 pound other shoe to drop on my head since I am standing too close to a non-transparent border wall.
  2. My love’s birthday is today  Which is not going to be as fun for her as it could have been if there was not this impending loss, but there will still be muted celebrations and I am still grateful she was born.  Also, I got to see the look on her face when she opened her gift, so that was very nice.  There will be birthday treats too.
  3. Weed  It’s legal here on the state level, and has been a major help in dealing with all of the garbage and trauma popping up this month.  Plus, it has helped me keep my appetite up since I tend to not be able to eat under periods of extreme stress.  Finally, laughter is supposedly the best medicine, and getting a little high certainly isn’t bad for my ability to laugh.  Like, I am so glad I was little high when I read that shit about Trump saying the border wall should be transparent to avoid falling drug injuries.  (This is why there is a 25th amendment.)
  4. Sex  I like sex.  It’s fucking great, especially when the fucking is great.
  5. Love  The Beatles (they were very obscure, you probably never heard of them), said that all you need is love.   Well, I would argue all you need is love, food, water, shelter, sex, and weed…but tomato tomato.  (That doesn’t work in print.)
  6. Location, location, location  I love my new neighborhood.  It is much less hood and much more neighborly, without all the pesky neighbors wanting to actually talk to you.
  7. Health  Despite my recent hospitalization, I am not currently in the hospital and feel relatively okay.
  8. My Path  It is nice being able to turn to something that makes sense to me when I need a little bit more than what I see in the “reality” most people perceive every day.  It is also nice not having to go to some church every week and get on my knees or beg to some god for forgiveness for that which hurts nobody.  It is great not having to go to someone’s door or anywhere else and tell people they must follow my path or face burning for eternity.  It is awesome not caring what others believe as long as they aren’t attempting to force me to live according to theirs.  it’s great not being told to hate people for their sexuality, gender identity, race, or really anything else they do that doesn’t hurt another.  Plus, the whole sex magick thing doesn’t hurt.
  9. The resistance  No, it isn’t perfect.  No, it has not been particularly effective with this lawless cabal in charge of our government.  But it is there.  People are still resisting.  Hope is not completely lost.  People with brains still exist.  People with compassion still exist.  Thanks to the resistance, we can even find out who those people are and tailor who want in our lives accordingly.  At the very least, you get to find out when our President says something completely insane about the likelihood of drug bag injuries from traditional border wall technology.
  10. Awareness  I know my flaws, I know what makes me good.  I see both.  I am comfortable with who I am, and have remembered that not everyone needs to like me and I do not need to like them in order to feel okay about myself.  This year I have lost four “friends” who were anything but as time went by.  I have seen things I considered years ago come to pass and know I was right all along to not regret some of the decisions I made that seemed foolish at the time.  I know who I want in my life, and in which parts I give them access, or who I do not want to have any place in my life at all.  I am Skynet.  I have the codes.  You can’t fucking pull the plug on me.  Today is Judgement Day, motherfuckers.  You’ve been Terminated.  Hasta la taco, Tuesday.

Well, my dear reader(s), I hope you enjoyed our time together today.  Until next time, ta-ta.