The Southeast Asia Presentation

“I just can’t help but feel like everyone has it wrong,” he told her, as he looked up into her loving eyes.  “It’s like everyone out there is doing everything they can to be UNhappy.”

“No argument from me on that,” she replied.  Her brow furrowed in the way that told him she was deep in thought before she asked, “What makes us so different?”

“Other than the earth-shattering orgasms?” he asked with a sly smile.

“Well, that might be a big part of it, huh?” she laughed.

He got out of bed, showered, and got dressed for work.  He was a little nervous about his presentation before the board, but felt prepared.  He grabbed his best suit, and saw that she had it pressed for him the day before.  She was always doing things like that for him.  He buttoned up the suit jacket and got ready to leave.  He grabbed a scone she had made, and his coffee in his commuter mug, and gave her a passionate kiss before asking, “What is on your agenda today?”

“I need to handle this dispute with the city over the easement area.  If they fuck up my garden with their stupid fucking trucks, I am suing.  They need to stick to the access road and they know it!” she finished, trying not to get aggravated.

“Grrrrrr!  Fuck yeah!  Go get ’em!  Damn you’re hot when you’re about to get shit done!  I can’t wait to get home to you later this evening and we can get something else done, if ya know what I’m sayin’,” he winked.

“You have no game!’ she laughed, “Get to work and go get us that money.  There are some new toys for our collection that I have my eye on.”

“Mmmmm!” he smiled, as he smacked her ass on his way out of the door.

“Drive safe!” she called out to him.  “I owe you a smack on the ass!”

“Can’t wait!” he called back from the car, beaming from ear to ear.

She walked back into the house as he backed out of the driveway.  She felt peaceful in her shower, ready for a great day.  She even sang along with her favorite “bad bitch” songs to gear up for her sparring match with the city.  She was dancing around to the music, when she slipped on a piece of soap and fell to the bottom of the tub with a hard thud.

Meanwhile, he was pulling into the parking garage of the office building that housed his company’s headquarters.  An Executive Vice President in charge of Logistics, he was due to give a presentation to the Board of Directors about the potential benefits of expanding into the difficult Southeast Asian market.  He believed that while risky, economic factors were perfectly set-up for a consumer boom not seen since the US after World War II.  If he could get the board to invest, and it paid off the way he knew it would, he was certain that he would be the top candidate for CEO when Stevenson took his golden parachute at the end of the next fiscal year.

The first thing she felt was her head pounding.  She opened her eyes, but could not see anything.  Her mind began to race.  She wondered if she had knocked herself blind.  She felt something over her eyes, and realized that she was not blind, but blindfolded.  Then the panic really set in.  She tried to get up to run, but realized she was tied down.  She was no longer in a tub, she was tied to a bed!

The presentation was a slam-dunk.  The President of the Board had been interested in pushing into Southeast Asia for some time, but lacked the data and solid research to convince everyone else to go along.  His work was exactly what they needed to forge ahead.

“Don’t be afraid,” the voice told her.  “I don’t want to hurt you very much,” he added.

She felt the light touch of fingertips on her thigh and tried to thrash around.  It was of no use with the ties holding her down.  The touch was familiar, and although unwelcome, it caused her skin to tingle and she felt a slight shiver.

He noticed.

“Good girl,” he told her, “I happen to know he won’t mind.”

“What?!?” she exclaimed.

“You have a good security system, you lock doors.  Do you think I am here by accident?”

“What are you saying?” she asked the unknown man.

“Your husband wants this for you.  He says you deserve it.  How is your head?  That fall you took wasn’t part of the plan.  I will admit it was nice that you couldn’t fight back, however,” he said an instant before he put his hand over her heart.

“My head is fine, but do you really think this will work?  Won’t they realize?” she asked her husband.

“If they realize, then our clone-bots don’t deserve a place in the Southeast Asian robotics markets.  Besides, it took you a bit, didn’t it?  Now, wanna keep playing, or does your head hurt too bad?”





Hello dear reader(s)!

Well, what the fuck can I say?  This has been a year.

I have no idea what kind of year, other than a really fucking eventful one that somewhat resembles a rapid cycling bipolar demon on meth.

Anyway, I am having trouble deciding how I will remember this year.  On the one hand, I met my love, who I am certain I was literally destined to be with, and on the other…. our country fell to fascism.

My health has both improved and regressed.

I have become both more generous and selfish with who I am generous to.

Up and down, up and down, up and down.  It’s like we are all getting roughly fucked by this year to the point where at times, it hurts too much to enjoy it.

2017 has been about rediscovering me, what matters to me, and being me without apology.  In that rediscovery, I feel I have grown.

My lovely fiance, has been the driving force behind much of that growth.  She saw me, and loves me, and so she is helping me be much more me.  With her, I feel better about myself (with the exception of my health), than I ever have.  Her love of those aspects of me I was always a little ashamed of or feared judgment about have greatly improved my self-opinion.  I hope I have helped her grow as well, as I see and love all sides of her, hidden or not, light or dark.

The biggest thing that I have learned this year, is that I just don’t belong.  I belong with my fiance.  I belong with some family.   I belong with a chosen small group of friends.  I belong with the few like-minded people who have no taste for the fucked-up way our society works.  Trump’s election, while a catastrophe, did serve to cause me to stop trying to fit in with so many people in this goddamn backwards country and only bother trying to hold or maintain relationships with those who I consider my tribe.  Us weirdos, who are only weird because we don’t choose to so willingly conform to the expectations of a failing society.

I am getting better at brushing off the negativity of those who still believe that misogyny and racism make a geographic region great.   I am getting better at ignoring the notion that people are successful if they drive a certain car or make a certain figure at the job they work in order to support the family that they lose connection to while working too much to provide for that family.  I am getting better at rejecting the advice of people who never really seemed as happy as I have been, or who have no idea what I have been through, or have been actively responsible for the terrible life choices I have been presented with.

In 2017 I realize that anyone who has an issue with me, has never walked in my shoes.  And when I think of how fucked up they are, despite their advantages, their lack of catastrophic illness, and not having to face even one-tenth of what I have faced but still feeling like maybe I have my shit better together than they do in what actually matters to me, well, 2017 is the year that says I am glad they have issues with me, because I have issues anyone who thinks they have some clue how I should behave.

It occurs to me, that I never wanted the life that was taken from me anyway.  I never wanted that 40 hour a week office job that created nothing but profits for a behemoth conglomerate exploiting my labor so that I can stress myself to a heart attack while missing out on life.  I never wanted that plan that was predetermined for me.  Maybe I knew somehow, that it wouldn’t be possible anyway.  But more likely, I knew I was never cut out for a life resembling most people, because from an early age I knew most people were fucking miserable.

My biggest regret is ever being swayed away from myself in the first place.  I only ever wanted a creative life since I was young.  But my generation was pushed so damn hard into academic, paper-pushing jobs that were all downsized while we were in school anyway.  Now that I am disabled, somehow getting lucky from selling some creative work is the only chance I have to really generate any wealth that is available to me.  And given that people who work for other people haven’t really been able to generate their own wealth in decades without property gambling… it seems as though more creativity is  also the only chance for many others who aren’t physically unable to hold a “normal” job.  The problem is, if I had been able to devote more time and effort to creative pursuits than to the useless paper chase that was school, that long-shot chance of getting lucky selling something creative would be much less long.  I must admit, I am still deeply resentful that I was purposefully steered toward a life that could only bring mediocrity in the best of circumstances.

I shouldn’t have listened.  I never should have conformed to what others wanted from me.  I wish it didn’t take me so long to realize that.  2017 is not the year that I should have figured out that I can’t stand the thought of being anyone but me.  Oh well, better late than never.

I am excited for 2018.  I am ready to live next year with both middle fingers extended to those who try to tell me how to live it.

Featured Image by By Dan Bennett from Seattle, USA (DSC_2046 Uploaded by X-Weinzar) [CC BY 2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons




A Good Day

Hello reader(s) of dearness!

Remember me?  No?  Probably for the best.

Anyway, I have to say that I think the wave might have finally broke, and things are going to get a little easier once again.  (You may applaud.)

Let me explain what all has been going on.

  • My health  It has been difficult ever since I got out of the hospital for the mild sepsis, or bacteremia, or whatever the fuck it was.  The last course of IV antibiotics that I had seemed to further set off my autonomic and peripheral neuropathy, causing a whole shit-ton of problems to get even worse.  Fortunately, I am now learning to adjust my life accordingly, and am also receiving treatment to try to keep out of the hospital.  Today, I got a lead on financial assistance for that treatment, which will help a great deal because even when I have the money, with that expense, it won’t last.
  • Being forced to move  Because housing and rental prices are through the fucking roof here, my fiance was forced to move because the owner of the house decided to sell.  This caught her off guard since it seems the owners bought the property for more than they can get for it now.  As such, there was not enough money for deposits saved.  Fortunately, I was able to take an early payout of some money that was already scheduled to be distributed to me, in order to avoid interest and fees on borrowing.  The hassle of trying to find an acceptable place in our price range was daunting, but we were able to find a nicer, larger house, for the same price that her previous model is currently renting for.  I love this house, and think it will be a nice place to call home for a time.
  • Registration issues  It seems every time someone moves a long distance, important documents get lost along the way.  So when my fiance went to get her registration done in this state, she realized that she was missing a document that our state requires.  Our state is shitty about it too, and her previous state is full of incompetent liars.  Her out-of-state registration was expiring, so she was not able to drive her vehicle.  Fortunately, my Beastess works great, and we have been utilizing it, but it sucks being down to only one car, especially when moving the last few items she has from her old house to our new one.  She rushed off, overnight, a letter and the fee to get a copy of that document, along with an overnight envelope, but the assholes in that state sat on it for 11 days before finally sending it back.  I just happened to have checked the tracking number today, and found it was delivered, just this afternoon.  She can now get her car back, and there is much rejoicing.
  • Government issues  I think the last time I posted, I was under Social Security Disability review.  Despite my paranoia about it, the government agrees that I am obviously disabled, and so my benefits shall continue.  (Even though the GOP might cut all that because they are scum sucking fuckpigs.)  Meanwhile, every single thing you see is some embarrassment to our country.  I really am just deciding that I need to find a way to live without any government at all, because I think that is where things are heading.  Of course, things would be different if I lived in a state that actually has programs, but I do not, and so fuck anyone who thinks I am not doing all I can, especially as they vote for the fuckers trying to take away what little there is.  At any rate, I feel more comfortable relying on my fiance, than I do a bunch of old, white, Christian conservatives who were born into money.
  • Miscellaneous issues  Between my cross-country move earlier in the year, moving into a former “friend”‘s house who wanted me to act more like a rent-paying house guest than a roommate – who then kicked me out when I stood up for myself, moving again, losing another “friend” who wouldn’t stop hitting on my fiance (and basically blamed me for stealing her as if she was ever interested in his married-ass anyway), having to give my cats to my mother due to primarily allergy and logistical reasons, and some other issues…this year has been a monkey-fucked donkey dick.

But this year has been pretty damn good too.

I met and got engaged to my lovely fiance.  I am absolutely stunned by the depth of our connection in such a short time.  Having her in my life has been amazing.

Even though we had to move, the house we are in now is like my dream home.  I love it.  We even found a couple spare hours (over the course of a few days) to decorate for Halloween.  I love the way it looks with decorations, and am really anticipating Christmas.

I have great friends that know and understand my limitations.  They do not make me feel bad when I can’t show up to most things, or cancel at the last minute.  They welcome me back anytime I am physically able to get together.

One of my friends surprised me by repaying a loan early, and in full, (rather than the payments we agreed upon), just when it was needed most.  Because when insurance sucks, medical treatment is expensive, and your income is peanuts, a large sum of money isn’t nearly as large as some think.  The timing was incredible, and breathing is now possible.

My cats are very happy with my mom, and I am so relieved.  They will always be my kids, even if they are now her kitties.  I am so grateful that she was able to take them, because otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.

And it is fall, and almost time for Halloween, Samhain (same day), and Dia De Los Josh!

Anyway, between getting the document, some work done to clean my fiance’s old residence, the news of possible financial assistance for my treatments, and just a general good feeling, I gotta say, today was a good day.

10 Reasons I Am Happy

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today isn’t the happiest day I have had in a while.  There is a dark cloud of an impending loss hanging over everything, and this entire month is filled with bad memories that still haunt me.  Too many bad things have happened in July, and I sometimes just wish I could skip the month.

But, there have been and will continue to be some good things too.  It is important for me not to lose sight of that.

As such, in accordance with article IV of the MyFridayBlog™ charter of Sector 7, row 8, next to the bean burritos, I present to you 10 reasons I am happy, despite this being a rather unhappy time.  Please hold your questions and comments until after the presentation.  No food or drink in the auditorium, unless accompanied by a liability waiver and $100,000 bond.  Please keep your seat belts fastened and your tray tables and seat backs in their full, upright positions until such a time as the captain has deemed it is safe to move about the cabin.

  1. Some very stressful uncertainty has seemed to have settled  Sure, not everything is peaches and cream over filet of unicorn in a rainbow chutney, but at least I do not feel like I am waiting for the proverbial 8,000 pound other shoe to drop on my head since I am standing too close to a non-transparent border wall.
  2. My love’s birthday is today  Which is not going to be as fun for her as it could have been if there was not this impending loss, but there will still be muted celebrations and I am still grateful she was born.  Also, I got to see the look on her face when she opened her gift, so that was very nice.  There will be birthday treats too.
  3. Weed  It’s legal here on the state level, and has been a major help in dealing with all of the garbage and trauma popping up this month.  Plus, it has helped me keep my appetite up since I tend to not be able to eat under periods of extreme stress.  Finally, laughter is supposedly the best medicine, and getting a little high certainly isn’t bad for my ability to laugh.  Like, I am so glad I was little high when I read that shit about Trump saying the border wall should be transparent to avoid falling drug injuries.  (This is why there is a 25th amendment.)
  4. Sex  I like sex.  It’s fucking great, especially when the fucking is great.
  5. Love  The Beatles (they were very obscure, you probably never heard of them), said that all you need is love.   Well, I would argue all you need is love, food, water, shelter, sex, and weed…but tomato tomato.  (That doesn’t work in print.)
  6. Location, location, location  I love my new neighborhood.  It is much less hood and much more neighborly, without all the pesky neighbors wanting to actually talk to you.
  7. Health  Despite my recent hospitalization, I am not currently in the hospital and feel relatively okay.
  8. My Path  It is nice being able to turn to something that makes sense to me when I need a little bit more than what I see in the “reality” most people perceive every day.  It is also nice not having to go to some church every week and get on my knees or beg to some god for forgiveness for that which hurts nobody.  It is great not having to go to someone’s door or anywhere else and tell people they must follow my path or face burning for eternity.  It is awesome not caring what others believe as long as they aren’t attempting to force me to live according to theirs.  it’s great not being told to hate people for their sexuality, gender identity, race, or really anything else they do that doesn’t hurt another.  Plus, the whole sex magick thing doesn’t hurt.
  9. The resistance  No, it isn’t perfect.  No, it has not been particularly effective with this lawless cabal in charge of our government.  But it is there.  People are still resisting.  Hope is not completely lost.  People with brains still exist.  People with compassion still exist.  Thanks to the resistance, we can even find out who those people are and tailor who want in our lives accordingly.  At the very least, you get to find out when our President says something completely insane about the likelihood of drug bag injuries from traditional border wall technology.
  10. Awareness  I know my flaws, I know what makes me good.  I see both.  I am comfortable with who I am, and have remembered that not everyone needs to like me and I do not need to like them in order to feel okay about myself.  This year I have lost four “friends” who were anything but as time went by.  I have seen things I considered years ago come to pass and know I was right all along to not regret some of the decisions I made that seemed foolish at the time.  I know who I want in my life, and in which parts I give them access, or who I do not want to have any place in my life at all.  I am Skynet.  I have the codes.  You can’t fucking pull the plug on me.  Today is Judgement Day, motherfuckers.  You’ve been Terminated.  Hasta la taco, Tuesday.

Well, my dear reader(s), I hope you enjoyed our time together today.  Until next time, ta-ta.

Using The Full Moon

Hello dear reader(s)!

Tonight, in my area of the world, it is the full moon.  In my path, the night of the full moon is a great time to let go of that which no longer serves you, and so that is what I will be doing.  I intend to let go of my fears and insecurities that have been holding me back.  There may be more I have to accept letting go of, but that is still unknown to me.

I can only do what is known to me.  I can only prepare for what is.  I have ideas of the future, but I do realize at this point it still is not written.  I will do some spells to cast off my anxiety and inability to accept what is in the present moment.

I will also be doing some spells to help with my self-confidence.  My ego has taken multiple hits and I am getting worn down.  I have to remember that I am good, and I have the power within me to be happy.  Nobody else is responsible for that and nobody else can take it from me if I have it within.  I actually started with that last night, and am making some strides in that direction.

I am reminding myself that I have faced tougher challenges and survived.  Yes, I want to thrive again, but maybe I am pushing too hard.  I am reminding myself that no matter what, I’m going to be okay.

The fact that once again all of this is going on near the full moon just confirms to me that my path is where I belong.  When I step away from it for too long, I spiral out of control.  It is time to regain control of my life and my happiness.  It is time to do the things I know will make me happy and make my life better no matter how unmotivated I may feel.

Later tonight the moon will officially be waning.  After I banish all my fears and insecurities, I will use the time of the darkening nights to seek out ways I can build things for the better once the moon starts waxing again.

If you’re an empath, the full moon likely gets to you.  You may find yourself stressed out and anxious as it approaches.  It doesn’t have to be a stressful time.  You may be wondering what all you should let go of, and what you should keep.  I know that at the full moon in previous times, I have let go of things I may not have wanted to because of the stresses and feelings I had, that may have been unrelated or only partially related to whatever it was I let go of.

It is important to keep in mind that moon cycles come again.  Additionally, there is an entire half-cycle of the moon when it is waning and it may be a better time to release things when you are more focused and calm about what does and does not serve you.  I would advise all of you to only let go of that which you are absolutely certain no longer serves you in the long term.  Use the time of the waning moon for divination and seeing into the things you are not yet certain of.  Do not let the turmoil of the full moon trick you into rushing something that may need more time and clarity to really be certain of whether or not it is a thing you believe should or should not have a place in your life.

So tonight, go with the easy things.  The negative energy.  Fears.  Anxiety.   That which you are absolutely certain does you no good.  There is plenty of time when the tides within you are more stable to be able determine the things you are not quite certain of.  Then, relax.  Take a bath, if you can.  Use Epsom Salts.  Do some calming spells.  Have a good time.  Go outside and draw down the moon for more energy through the waning light.

If you are wanting to banish your fears and anxiety, here is a good base spell.  It’s easy and hardly requires any tools.  As with anything, your path will be different from mine, so tweak it however you feel you should.

  • After casting your circle, light a candle.  I like rose for this, but white works well too.
  • Watch the candle burn and say, “Goddess and God, take my fears, my anxiety and my tears, Burn them down in front of me, As I will, so mote it be.”  Repeat that nine times  (three times three) and visualize your anxiety melting away with the candle.  Let the candle burn out.
  • Thank the Goddess and God for helping empower you and attending your spell and then close your circle.

Take the power and wisdom you receive and try to think about the new beginnings you want to create after the New Moon.

Blessed Be, my friends.





How Not To Creep

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are like many people, you have or currently do desire someone and may be worried about expressing that desire without being seen as a giant, disgusting creep.  Even if that statement has never applied to you, you may want to continue reading because it likely applies to someone who has or currently does desire you, and then you can use this to identify and head off the creeps in your life.  Heading off a creep can prevent the need to take the heads off creeps, which is much more favored by the legal system.

Despite what many fedora wearing neckbeards who think they are nice and call women m’lady believe, it is possible to express desire for someone without being a creep.  Despite what many desperate single ladies believe, it is possible to attract someone without sending random suggestive pics to their target’s phones.

So here is my helpful guide for those who desire someone to express that desire without being a creep.  If you are the person with the desire, you can use these helpful tips to help ensure you’re not creepy.  If you are someone who suspects someone in your life may be a creep, you can see if they are doing the opposite of these tips to help you reach the proper verdict.

Without further adieu, let’s begin, shall we?

  1. Do not be married or in a serious relationship (unless you are ethically poly)  Unless papers are filed, you are not available.  If you were serious about leaving the situation you were in, you wouldn’t need to set up the next one before you did so.  Conversely, if someone else is married or in a serious relationship, they are not going to be open to your advances, and if they are, you can bet your ass you’re going to get burned when someone else advances on them.  Hopefully for you, when you do get burned it doesn’t result in any actual burning sensations, but you will have brought that on yourself.
  2. Remember that friendship entitles to you to nothing  Most of my best friends are of the opposite sex.  And sometimes that closeness leads to an attraction.  Or sometimes they are just my type of people.  But being there for them when they are going through a rough time is not license for me to send dick pics.  I’ve said before that sometimes friends become lovers.  I have said it is okay to be attracted to a friend.  But if you can’t handle only being friends with that person, well, you never were.  And flirting a little (something I find totally acceptable) is much different from sexually harassing.   If you need any help figuring out the difference, you probably should not be attempting to flirt, because you are going to suck at it.
  3. Pay attention  Is the one you desire responding to your flirting?  Great, you are flirting.  No?  Then stop.  If you do not, I guarantee you are being a creep.  Sometimes, no matter how much you want the person you desire to desire you, they don’t.  It can hurt.  If it angers you, or you feel as though they betrayed you because you were friendly to them…you are not a friend and can’t claim to care about them.  You are a creep.  A person being nice to you is not leading you on.  Now if that person tells you they’re going to let you stick your ____ in their ____ while singing The Star Spangled Banner as you squeeze their ____ and then suddenly cancels at the last minute, only to set something up again to cancel and so on…  Maybe then you can think they’re leading you on.
  4. Escalate slowly  Let’s say you are flirting and they seem to be receptive.  Have you ever considered that some flirt without intention?  You don’t want to go from cute little signals and a comfort talking about intimate things, right to talking about making them your personal basement slave without a clear path to that point.  That can scare people off and make them think you are trying to get them to put the lotion in the basket.
  5. Be confident  Don’t open with a whine about your desperation.  Nobody wants to receive a gift nobody else could give away.  Yes, you are hungry.  Yes, you want to do things to that person that could lead to a police visit if your neighbors misunderstand the sounds being made, yes you want that person to understand your desire for them is intense.  But saying you need affection or sex is not only signalling your desperation, it is assuming theirs.  This is the single biggest difference between the “nice guys” and “nice girls”, and the people who can actually spark attraction.  The “nice” people don’t understand that unless you believe what you offer is worth something, nobody else will either.  And then, when they are rejected you suddenly see they are not so nice at all.  Making them the jerks they think people go for when they actually just go for those who know their worth.

To summarize, if you don’t want to be considered a creep, quit fucking acting like a creep.  This isn’t hard.

I think everyone has said or done something that may have pushed the line.  But pushing a line and pulling back if it seems like you could cross it is something that people should be able to do.  If you don’t, you’re a fucking creep Cindy, and you need to back the fuck off and follow the rules of the restraining order and quit fucking driving by my house and sending me messages after I blocked your ass.


Hello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for my failure to post yesterday.  I was working on a song and lost track of time before I started to get to the point where I had to get up and actually do things.  I am cooking dinner tonight for some people and I needed to get to the store to get the food necessary.  After that, I had game night with a group of some of my friends.  When I got home I talked with a very close friend until a lot later than I realized, and then I fell asleep.  Hard.

And no sooner than I shut my eyes, (I imagine based on the number of and length of dreams I had), I started dreaming.  I dream almost every night.  Sometimes, the dreams seem to be prophetic, but often, they are dreams I want to dream since I am pretty good at lucid dreaming most nights, or at the very least, setting up nice dreams to avoid the occasional nightmares I have.

But last night’s dreams were very different.  A lot of imagery, less reality than usual, and a lot of symbolism.  They were incredibly vivid, but more surreal than most of the dreams I typically have.  Strange colors and different worlds.  No real people, but a recognition of people in my life in the strange beings that inhabited the world in my dreams.

Each time I woke up from these dreams, I was smiling.  Grinning, is more accurate.  I took note of some of the imagery, the colors, the events, and the feelings.  When I actually woke up for long enough to start the day this morning, I started to consult my sources and research some of the symbolism that these dreams contained.

According to everything I checked, between the psychological and the mystical, these were great dreams, with excellent hidden meaning.  I certainly hope they are prophetic.  The dreams were about the culmination of struggle, not just for me, but some of the others close to me.  They were about the universe letting me know that while we never continue learning in this life, the difficult lessons are going to be taking a back seat to the lessons of happiness.

I’ve already been feeling it, but these dreams extend to those close to me, and bring things to a new level.

There have been major shifts throughout history.  The pendulum swings, and I really feel like it is swinging back.  I’ve said before that I think a lot of the turmoil and darkness currently in power in the world is so awful and forceful right now because it knows that it is in decline.  The old systems of power at all costs and disregard for others is going to fade, and those who profit of it are so desperate to cling to it that they amplify their darkness more than ever.  I believe it will all be futile, if we survive their reactionary tantrums.  I am convinced that a shift is taking place there.

But my dreams make me think the pendulum is swinging back on a more personal level as well.  When I really realized what was important to me, I began to put out a certain energy into the universe that attracted those who have the same priorities, and repelled those opposed.  It was difficult.  I have lost friends that were once important to me.  But I realized their priorities didn’t align with mine.  Maybe they changed, maybe I did, but eventually, everything that mattered to me, they seemed to be in opposition to.  I had some lonely times, wondering if maybe I was wrong for thinking the things I thought were important really were.

I persisted, trusting the lessons from my path.  It is better to let go of that which no longer serves you than to hang on.  But, until recently, I wondered if I would have the kind friendships and connections that would serve me.  I wondered if I could be the kind of friend or connection that would serve others.

Finally, I have begun to find my tribe.  I have solidified existing friendships with those that seem to care about other people and the things that are important to me, and I have made amazing new friends with those kinds of people as well.  The pendulum is swinging back in my life, just as I believe it is about to in the greater world.  The dreaming seems to indicate that it is gathering momentum.

In thinking about it, I wonder if that is how we change the world.  We focus on the relationships we have close.  We continue to pay attention to the world, and the happenings in it, we continue to use our voices, we continue to resist those who would plunge it into darkness…but we show light to the people near us.  We find our collective tribes and raise our vibrations to show others the happiness that can be achieved when people let go of the darkness they cling to in order to maintain their notions of power.

Dreaming is great.  Sometimes they come true, sometimes they don’t.  I hope the dreaming I did last night does.  It feels like it already is.  Maybe it will.  One thing I know for certain, is that your dreams don’t come true if you don’t keep dreaming.

So keep dreaming, and change the world for the better.