Message To A Blog Friend

Hi.

I tried emailing you.  Rejected, saying it doesn’t exist.

I’m not dropping off.  Must be technical.  Wouldn’t keep requesting if I didn’t want to be there.

Hope all is well with you.

Me

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Expert Advice

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am very excited to announce a new feature here on MyFridayBlog™ that is sure to revolutionize your reading experience in a way that is, quite frankly, revolutionary.  Before I announce this new feature, I would like to explain what drove our amazing founder and creator (me), to come up with such a revolutionary idea.

It all started back in 2014 with a man, a computer, and a really revolutionary idea.  That man, is me.  You see, I was bored, and was reading an interview article from some online rock music magazine.  I thought it would be funny to interview an expert for this here blog-type-thing.  Soon, my thoughts turned to dreams, and dreams into action, as I scoured the globe for an expert I would interview.  My search was for naught, however, as it seemed that nobody had the required expertise to grace such an amazing and culturally significant blog-type-thing as MyFridayBlog™.  I almost gave up on this life-changing concept.  I decided I needed to take a break from my search and relax.  As I was in the middle of my favorite relaxation technique (masturbating in front of a mirror), I realized that the expert I had been looking for was closer than I think.  Indeed, I had him in the palm of my hand.  That expert, would be me!

And so, I invited Joshua Wrenn, GED to dole out expert advice on a wide variety of subjects I thought might be important to my dear reader(s).  And anytime I brought him in, it was a hit.  Everything seemed great, or so it would seem.

Fame began to create its own problems.  From the beginning, I was inundated with requests for more of him.  From the advice letters, to the fan mail, to the naked photos and marriage proposals, it was beginning to be difficult to focus on the day-to-day tasks of running this amazing and vital service I currently provide to humanity.  I was overloaded, and my staff (me) was threatening mutiny.

I briefly considered creating another blog, exclusive for Joshua Wrenn, GED and his expert advice; but he is an egomaniac and I would not want to give him that much power.  I could not live with myself and the terrible things that would occur as a result.  I don’t want that on my conscience.  So how was I to placate the huddled masses yearning for more Joshua Wrenn, GED while keeping his ego in check and maintaining the quality content you dear reader(s) have come to know, expect, and indeed rely upon

Simple.  I have decided to occasionally feature Joshua Wrenn, GED answering your questions and requests for advice when I feel like doing it.

If you would like advice, or have anything else you would like to say to Joshua Wrenn, GED, you can email at MyFridayBlog@gmail.com .

Let’s start this feature by answering some of the questions that came in unsolicited when I was not accepting requests but the bastards did it anyway.


Dear Joshua,
I love this guy who lives far away. I think he loves me too, but I am not sure I want to show him because I don’t know how we will be able to get together. Please help.
-Tiffany Amber Thiesen

Well, Kelly Kapowski, I think you’re an idiot.  Let him try to figure something out.  If you want to be with him, and him you, have some faith that he can do it.   Besides, you and Zack are meant to be together.


Dear Joshua,
I really want to get my wife into a threesome. How do I go about this?
-Spicer

Well, Spicer,  Since I have already been with your wife and another woman, I guess you are a little late in asking, huh?  Sorry, I didn’t know until after.


Dear Joshua,
How are you?
My parents don’t support my dream of being a musician. They want me to focus on school and getting a safe job. I hate school, and don’t do well in it. I don’t know what to do.
-Music lover

Not everyone is cut out for the nine to five.  (What a way to make a living.)  If you focused on music with the same amount of hours you put into school, you would certainly be good enough to make a living doing it, even if you weren’t some rock star.  There are many careers for good musicians, even the ones who never get famous.  Don’t make the mistake I did, of treating a passion like a hobby when you had the chance to make do what you love, simply because of what everyone else tells you.  Explain to your parents, that if you try to continue in the direction you are going, you’ll just drop out when you’re old enough anyway, and, having never given full focus to either music or academics, you’ll end up with a GED after your name dispensing advice to people on a little blog-type-thing.  Now practice.


If you would like advice, please don’t be shy.  No nudes please, I am already overwhelmed.

MyFridayBlog@gmail.com

 

 

My Unfriend

I wrote this one quite a while ago.  I didn’t publish it because it was very personal and the emotions of it were fresh and something I didn’t want to be feeling at that time.  I am sick today, life moves forward, and I am not in the mood for writing, so here it is today. 

Dear Unfriend,

I believe there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone.  I also believe in love at first sight.  Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.  I believe love lasts forever.  I have loved you since the moment I saw you.  I am not in love with you, but I could fall, if given the chance.

Which is why I will never be happy only being your friend.  I want to be your friend.  Friends make the best lovers.  But I will never only want to be your friend.  I desire you.  I want you.  I don’t need you, but I need you to understand I will always want to be with you.

I don’t want to break you down, and make you mine.  I want you as you.  Strong and independent.  It is so much more thrilling when you choose me.  I would not make you need me.  I want you to be fine on your own, choosing to be with me.

I will be there for you.  I will help you in any way you ask.  But I am not being nice.  I am not nice at all.  I don’t want to hurt you, or own you, but I want to make you lose yourself in me each time we are together.  If you knew the dreams I have of you, every single night, you would know my intentions are not pure.

I don’t mean to scare you.  I also want you to find yourself when you are with me.  I want to build you up.  Anyone can have the weak.  That isn’t good enough for me.  I want you to be strong and free to continually choose me.

I’ve made my attraction to you clear.  Now, I want to let you know that it will not go away.  I will always keep trying.  I am going to try to be with you.

If you can’t accept that, delete me from your life.  Otherwise, I hope you’ll allow me the opportunity to take this fall for you, when you are ready for something real.

 

Luna

Dearest Luna,

Sometimes I wonder if that author met you. You definitely have a knack for speaking uncomfortable truths. I recognized you instantly, and still can’t picture the character without your face. You see things the others can’t. Things that can only be seen by those who’ve seen death. For you, my Luna, the death wasn’t your mother’s, but your own. But like Phoenix, you were reborn even stronger. It is no wonder I follow you so easily into the fire. I remember you, my Luna.

It is only fitting I picture you in the moonlight. It is as though you were born from the moon. A piece of the Goddess herself. Perhaps this is why I worship you as I do. I wonder if you know that you are the star to every story you are in. Those who don’t see you are blind to it all. You float through this world, unattached to their opinions, and live in your own strength. I have always loved that in you.

I fall asleep and if the moonlight shines in the windows, you are there with me. I can picture your porcelain skin and smell that fresh softness as if you are in my arms. Do you remember that night, in the snow? When you illuminated the world with your moonlight as the clouds blanketed the sky? The snow reflecting the light from your eyes? Did you notice I saw? I see your light in the snow with every blink.

Come to me in the moonlight, my Luna. Come to me in the snow, and make your own moonlight. Come to my arms so that I can once again see in this darkness. Tell me of all that you see so that I may know even a glimpse of the hidden secrets you are privy to.

You are the star of my story, the moon in my sky. You are the odd one the others wish they could be. You are the kind and compassionate believer who sees past the surface. You don’t just practice magic, you are magic itself. I love you infinitely.

Love always,

No, I’m not going to call myself “Rolf.”

Is She You?

Cosmically entwined and I am still nowhere near enough to you.  As your energy dances with mine under the hanging limbs of the willow tree, I sweep your hair out of your eyes and look deeply into them in a feeble attempt to help you see the depths of my devotion to you.  Mere words do nothing to convey my feelings for you.  Not even the rhythmic movements our hips make as I move within you nor the primal sounds that emit from our mouths and carry through the trees, expresses my love for you sufficiently.  I love you, and even though that word is thrown around too much, I pray you feel the truth in these words.  The sun, filtered by the leaves of the trees, illuminates your face in much the way it did when I first saw you.  And if I had my choice, I would stay here under this tree, and inside you, forever.

Yet, I must leave for a time.  They are planning to take the kingdom.  You know I care not for politics or who will lead us, but these invaders do not treat those they rule very well at all.  Their men have the audacity to believe they can rule the women.  That you should serve them.  They will attempt to kill me, and they will attempt to own you.  I must go and fight them, before they reach D’urodinas.  I shall return to you, with word of our victory.  If I should fall, know my love for you is eternal, and does not end with this single life.  The orders you have given are brilliant, and even with our inferior numbers, I am certain we have Andraste on our side.  You have your claymore, which I know you are unequaled in your ability to use, but I will also leave you my dagger as a last resort should I fail.  I will do everything I can to protect D’urodinas, and you, as I swore to you that night the sky opened around us.  I must take my leave of you, my love.  Andraste willing, I will return here to our tree, and love you for the rest of our days in this realm.

Dearest Perfect Love,

I pray the messenger I sent to you has reached you in peace.  The enemy has been spotted by our scouts approaching near the Purple Crystal River, just as you foresaw in your vision.  It is my belief they intend to camp near the Lake of Sheelin.  Our forces are marching double time in an attempt to ambush them as they sleep, just as your vision had foretold.  Barring any unforeseen circumstances, we should reach the Shan’ia’an forest around the lake by late afternoon, allowing us to rest and prepare to attack their camp during the night.  We move in the ways of the animals, and unless they have the most skilled scouts, it is doubtful they will be aware of our plans.  Your visions are coming true, as they always do, and you can be assured that we will be victorious, and I shall return to you to love you as long as you will have me.  

In the meantime, know that you are in my heart, in my soul, and I carry you with me.  I long for when we can once again be together in the flesh, but take comfort in your love from afar.  

I await the day I return to D’urodinas in victory, but mostly the day I return to you in love.  

With all that I am,

J’amichinnonn

 

My Dearest Perfect Love,

I have dispatched my fastest runner.  I pray to Andraste she reaches you safely.  The forces of the enemy were tenfold larger than our scouts had initially reported.  Despite our ambush, our own losses were heavy.  A raiding party has broken through our lines, intent on sacking D’urodinas.  However, they are small in number and will not be more than an annoying chore for you in all your strength and command to easily dispatch.  As such, I can call this battle a clear victory.  In fact, I think you will be happy to have a few enemies coming in with no clue who they are facing when they should reach you.  I know you have been itching to once again wield your mighty claymore.  I have succeeded in protecting D’urodinas and you, as I swore.  Yet, the news is not all good.  I am quickly losing my senses, having been struck by an arrow from one of our own archers in the confusion of battle.  It is my great honor to know that I shall have died in service to you, my perfect love.  Perhaps we can meet under our willow tree in the next realm.  Perhaps the Goddess will allow us to ascend to where we are together without the weight of these mortal vessels that keep me from being as close to you as I would desire.  I have loved you forever, and will continue to do so.

With all that I am,

J’amichinnonn

How am I alive?  You are here!  I was certain I was done for.  Did someone bring me back here to you?  Did you come and get me and take me back here?  Am I dreaming?  I was shot.  An arrow through my heart.  Where is the wound?  Did you heal me?  Are you going to answer?  Andraste must have thought me worthy of healing.  Perhaps she thought our love was too important to this realm to be taken from it just yet.  How are you glowing like the drawings on the temple walls of our Goddess Andraste, my perfect love?  Why are you smiling?  Wait, is she you?

Forever, And Ever, And Always

My Dearest Sweetness,

One year since you left.  Four since we were married.  Time only matters to mark when you left this world, it does not diminish my love for you.  I hope a part of you feels your remains drifting through the water, and on the shore of the place you most felt at home.  I know how much you loved it there, and it will always be your beach to me.

I stood on your bridge to watch the water disperse your ashes, and it struck me how unbelievable it is to me that someone so full of life could end up as a swirl in the water.  I kept half, like you asked, so that we may scatter them with your friends and family in the other place you asked to be.

It was a beautiful morning.  The marine layer was in, and it was empty.  It reminded me of escaping the condominium when I was sick in the mornings and just being together as I sipped my coffee and you sipped your chai, talking about life and love.  It’s been hot and sunny lately, but you would’ve loved this morning.

I remember standing across from you.  You in your white sundress, and me in the Hawaiian shirt and khakis since that is all we could find even close for the occasion.  I remember the flower in your hair.  You almost always had to have a flower in your hair.  I remember promising to love you forever and ever.  Death does not part us, and I love that we did not vow it.  Despite knowing that we were moving it up before I went in for cancer treatment, standing up and pledging my love to you in front of what friends and family we could gather with such short notice remains the highlight of my life.

I miss you terribly.  Not just today.  Not just this month.  Today is hard, but I miss you always.  I will love you until the end of time, and even after.  Happy anniversary, Bear.  I will love you forever, and ever, and always.

Hannah O’Brien
May 5th, 1984 – July 26th, 2015

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Sweetness

Dearest Sweetness,

You know the day you died isn’t the worst one for me.  One year ago today, that was the worst day of my life.  To be completely honest, I can’t believe I am still here.  A light shut off inside my heart that day, despite you telling me to not let it happen in our goodbye.  I’m so glad you had that last little bit of clarity so that we could tell each other goodbye.  I’m so glad you got to actually hear me and understand the words that I will love you forever, and ever, and always.  I will keep the details of that goodbye between us, as I promised.  Just know that I remember every word.  Every detail.  And it is the only thing that day that kept me from joining you.

Thank you for that.

The light is returning to my life.  This year has been incredibly dark until fairly recently.  There have been happy times, and fun times, but they were happy and fun in darkness.  I even felt guilty when I would smile or laugh.  I know you would not have been very happy about that, but I couldn’t exactly help it.

I’m not going to go into detail about how awful that day was.  You know.  I know.  Instead I will look at that goodbye and think about how fortunate I am, that we got to say goodbye to each other as you knew you were leaving this world.  It was not long after that when you slipped out for good.  I will not think about the fear you must have felt, but I will instead think about the bravery you showed to me as I asked if you understood what everything I had just told you meant.  I will think about the love you showed me as you told me what you want for me having to face this world without you.

And as things become happier once again, and light returns, I will feel grateful to you for making me stick around to see it.  I will feel grateful to you for all you have done for me, and the person you helped to bring out in me.

I wish you could be here to see how I have survived.  I wish you could be here to see how the people who love me have helped me so much.  I wish you could see that I know that I am going to be okay, and even as these days bring the terrible memories of your loss, I can once again see the sun.

One year ago, the sunspots had faded.  But one year ago, you helped me to hold on and believe they could return.  That is how I choose to remember this day.   And you were right, the light is coming back.

Thank you for what you said to me, to help me to get here to see it.

I will love you forever, and ever, and always.  You will always be my Sweetness, my Bear, and my Hannah Girl.

Love always,

Your Mister