Delaying Posts

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you were looking for instructions on scheduling a post, I think you have come to the wrong place.  Either that or when you hit that “Publish” button and it asks if you want to publish it immediately or publish it later, you click the drop-down, choose a date and then enter the time you would like to publish it.

However, that is neither here nor there.  You see, this post isn’t about the delaying of publishing posts, it is about the delaying of writing said posts because the topic(s) are just too depressing to want to delve into and you would rather focus on the happiness in your personal life than attempt to solve the world’s problems by delving into the source of a large portion of those problems.  It is a particularly perplexing problem I posses, one I am positive I must presently purge.

In other words, don’t expect anything too heavy from me for a while.  I am aware shit is going on, and people must speak about said shit, but I’m fucking tired, man, and need a break.  Life in my tiny bubble is currently good, and I need to focus on that right now in order to keep what little sanity I still think would be good to have.

The most amazing woman is dozing on the couch right next to me at this moment.  I had a delicious dinner.  My fingers and toes hurt, but not so bad that I can’t deal with it.  It’s cold and dry here, but in this room, I am cozy.  Yes, I have been feeling a little sick off and on today.  Yes, I have many things I need to do tomorrow.  Yes, I had to go get a phlebotomy today.  Yes, I am tired from sleeping poorly last night.  Yes, there are a lot of things happening that will negatively affect me or already are.  But all the things that really matter to me are currently okay, and that’s more than I’ve been able to say for longer than I care to admit.

So I am delaying the heavy posts for a bit.  I’m going to be writing things that I like, not things I don’t.  Things like posts about the full moon ritual I performed last night that felt so magical and led to an instant epiphany. Or I could write about the benefits of cannabis to enhance the craft.  I could write more about sex!  I could write about food.  I could write about the people I see doing stuff I like, or that I think helps others or makes the world a tiny bit better, rather than my standard negative rants.

I’m done being negative.  Maybe this world is going to hell in a hand basket and we are all doomed for homelessness or nuclear annihilation, but I intend to go out hooping and hollering when that mushroom cloud goes up because I’m in my deluxe refrigerator box making love to my fiance should that scenario occur.

The world is pain.  So fuck the world, and do what you want.

I am going to write about shit I like now.  I hope that doesn’t bother anyone here.  If it does, you can kindly fuck right the fuck off because I like saying the word “fuck” a lot and I said that would be writing about shit I like now, fucking fuckers.

I set out to write this little post letting you know that I just wasn’t currently in the mood to write about heavy stuff, but honestly, I am not sure I will be in that mood again.

A while ago I would probably kick my own ass for saying this kind of thing, but I really don’t think my two cents on a lot of the heavier topics is needed or wanted anyway.  Sure, I may have helped some people see things in a different light or learn something from a post I compiled using other sources, but I really don’t think much would be missing without my voice.  Most of the heavy stuff is already being talked about, by people who are in a much better position to influence people.

Maybe my contribution to changing what I don’t like, is to simply amplify the alternatives that I do like.  Or maybe just to remind people that life doesn’t always suck, or certainly doesn’t have to suck as hard as we sometimes make it.

So when I say I am delaying those heavy posts, I should add the word “indefinitely” to the end.  I am not sure when or if I will ever think that something  heavy absolutely needs to have my voice added to the debate.  In the meantime, I am going to keep things positive.

So here is some good right now from this last week.

Never mind, it’s too dirty for this blog-type-thing.

Anyway, so there shall be some fictional stories, some reviews of stuff I like, some thoughts on good people and why they are good, and other stuff that may remind people there is more to life than all the shit we make it into.  Rather than focus on how bad and wrong things are, maybe I can find and share some examples or ideas on how to do it right.

That is my New Year’s gift to you!

Now what did you get me?  Was it cash?

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Satan’s Chicken

Hello dear reader(s)!

I had just written my 990th word on a post about big changes coming for the next year, when I realized I don’t want to telegraph my intentions yet.  So I scrapped it, and now you get to read this fascinating post with a title that is not at all pertinent to any topic discussed for nearly the entire remainder of this post, its subsidiaries, and all affiliates.  Void where prohibited.

My post was well-written, and I was quite proud of it, but I feel as though it would ruin the fun for which I have in store only display model, regular price $99.99.

So now you are reading a post called Satan’s Chicken that doesn’t even really talk about Satan, nor his delicious chicken recipe of 666 herbs and spices.

So, what shall we talk about?

Let’s go over my favorite things to talk about, shall we?

Ready?

Okay!

How funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose?  How loose is your goose?  So come on all you followers and shake your caboose.  Shake your caboose.

Here are a few of my favorite topics, in no particular order.

  1. Sex  I’ve kinda beaten that one to death unless I get all explicit or confessional up on your asses, and no, those were not purposeful euphemisms.
  2. Cannabis  AKA Weed, AKA medicine, AKA, should be fucking legal already and is the only thing that even comes near touching my neuropathy.  Maybe another day.  I have made my opinions clear on that topic and feel no need to beat that one to death either.  Except right now I am strongly against laws that limit delivery to patients with a medical card which I could obtain if I felt like waiting forever for the medical card, and paying the fee up front, instead of in the form of higher taxes each time I buy recreationally for my medical condition.  Still, with the lower per-transaction prices and the higher limits, it might be something that I should look into – although my desire to leave within the next year makes me think it might not be worth it.  One bad thing about my medicine, is that even though I have replaced numerous prescriptions for this one, insurance doesn’t cover it so it can be a bit pricey.
  3. Politics  What politics?  There are no politics.  Only a sale of what we all have built to the world’s most powerful horders of wealth and resources.
  4. Music  Heard any good music lately?  I haven’t.   Nothing to talk about there either.
  5. Love  I’m in it.  Y’all knew that already.
  6. Blogging  I intend to more often because I need to get back into it.

Well, I am at a loss.  Another one of those moments where I have a ton to say, but think I might want to keep that quiet for just now.

So thank you for reading this post that is only really here to keep me posting.  I love you all.  Send love to pop-pop and his concubine.  Tell Timmy that Lassie just went to a nice farm where she can run and play all day long.  May your chicken be delicious, with the glory of our dark lord Satan in every bite.

*I don’t believe in Satan, which is why I have no problem eating his/her/its delicious chicken.  

 

The Day After Yesterday

It was 19:06 when the author began writing his post in this here blog-type-thing.  A cool, autumn breeze blew past his window, but he didn’t really care, since it was closed.  Despite that, the fact it was not shitty, hot, stupid fucking summer was evident even inside his house.

The author reflected on the events that happened to him, just the day before.  He reflected on the special breakfast, the good wishes, the special dinner, the gifts, and of course, the traditional Dia de Los Josh, pumpkin pie.  For a moment, he smiled.

The smile quickly faded as he remembered the horrors that also happened on that day.  The screams of the post-Halloween jack-o-lanterns still echoed in his ears.  Then the images.  Pumpkin guts everywhere.  Orange all over.  Seeds, strings, and pumpkin meat littered the cardboard spread on the ground.  First a claymore, then a machete.  And his own hands yielding the weapons of the pumpkins’ demise!

He racked his brain, trying to figure out what had gotten into him.  Why did he kill those innocent jack-o-lanterns?  Why did he have to cut them into so many pieces?  And…why, why did he want to do it again?  What was the reason for his pumpkin blood lust?

Suddenly, he remembered.  It was Dia de Los Josh.

He knew that one day every year, it would come…and it did.  Yesterday.  And the day after yesterday, well…we all know what that is.  It is that which shall not be named, because it didn’t really like all of the names we had picked out for it.  I really liked Bob, but its grandparents objected.  Wait…

What?

Oh yeah.

Hello dear reader(s)!

So life is good right now.  I am getting settled in the new place, and things have finally calmed down from the move.  We had an amazing Halloween/Samhain with more trick-or-treaters than I knew existed on this particular planet.  We had some pretty kick-ass decorations, and it was a lot of fun.  Then yesterday, my birthday happened.  I got some great and thoughtful gifts, and yes, a traditional birthday pumpkin pie.  For fun, we took the six pumpkins we carved for Halloween and destroyed them with my claymore and machete.  We then had to clean up pumpkin, but it was Loreal.  Because it was worth it.

Today was just very chill, but with some running around.  Nothing too exciting, just a good find at a local shop.  But that was really nice, because I am a little sick of too exciting right now anyway.  Chill is good.  Tomorrow I am hoping I won’t even have to leave the fucking house.

Anyway, just checking in to say howdy.  Things are calming down, and though I do intend to really get working on my book, I plan to devote a lot of time to writing now, so I may just be able to get back into a regular posting routine complete with regular posts and routines at no additional cost to you!  But wait, that’s all!

 

A Good Day

Hello reader(s) of dearness!

Remember me?  No?  Probably for the best.

Anyway, I have to say that I think the wave might have finally broke, and things are going to get a little easier once again.  (You may applaud.)

Let me explain what all has been going on.

  • My health  It has been difficult ever since I got out of the hospital for the mild sepsis, or bacteremia, or whatever the fuck it was.  The last course of IV antibiotics that I had seemed to further set off my autonomic and peripheral neuropathy, causing a whole shit-ton of problems to get even worse.  Fortunately, I am now learning to adjust my life accordingly, and am also receiving treatment to try to keep out of the hospital.  Today, I got a lead on financial assistance for that treatment, which will help a great deal because even when I have the money, with that expense, it won’t last.
  • Being forced to move  Because housing and rental prices are through the fucking roof here, my fiance was forced to move because the owner of the house decided to sell.  This caught her off guard since it seems the owners bought the property for more than they can get for it now.  As such, there was not enough money for deposits saved.  Fortunately, I was able to take an early payout of some money that was already scheduled to be distributed to me, in order to avoid interest and fees on borrowing.  The hassle of trying to find an acceptable place in our price range was daunting, but we were able to find a nicer, larger house, for the same price that her previous model is currently renting for.  I love this house, and think it will be a nice place to call home for a time.
  • Registration issues  It seems every time someone moves a long distance, important documents get lost along the way.  So when my fiance went to get her registration done in this state, she realized that she was missing a document that our state requires.  Our state is shitty about it too, and her previous state is full of incompetent liars.  Her out-of-state registration was expiring, so she was not able to drive her vehicle.  Fortunately, my Beastess works great, and we have been utilizing it, but it sucks being down to only one car, especially when moving the last few items she has from her old house to our new one.  She rushed off, overnight, a letter and the fee to get a copy of that document, along with an overnight envelope, but the assholes in that state sat on it for 11 days before finally sending it back.  I just happened to have checked the tracking number today, and found it was delivered, just this afternoon.  She can now get her car back, and there is much rejoicing.
  • Government issues  I think the last time I posted, I was under Social Security Disability review.  Despite my paranoia about it, the government agrees that I am obviously disabled, and so my benefits shall continue.  (Even though the GOP might cut all that because they are scum sucking fuckpigs.)  Meanwhile, every single thing you see is some embarrassment to our country.  I really am just deciding that I need to find a way to live without any government at all, because I think that is where things are heading.  Of course, things would be different if I lived in a state that actually has programs, but I do not, and so fuck anyone who thinks I am not doing all I can, especially as they vote for the fuckers trying to take away what little there is.  At any rate, I feel more comfortable relying on my fiance, than I do a bunch of old, white, Christian conservatives who were born into money.
  • Miscellaneous issues  Between my cross-country move earlier in the year, moving into a former “friend”‘s house who wanted me to act more like a rent-paying house guest than a roommate – who then kicked me out when I stood up for myself, moving again, losing another “friend” who wouldn’t stop hitting on my fiance (and basically blamed me for stealing her as if she was ever interested in his married-ass anyway), having to give my cats to my mother due to primarily allergy and logistical reasons, and some other issues…this year has been a monkey-fucked donkey dick.

But this year has been pretty damn good too.

I met and got engaged to my lovely fiance.  I am absolutely stunned by the depth of our connection in such a short time.  Having her in my life has been amazing.

Even though we had to move, the house we are in now is like my dream home.  I love it.  We even found a couple spare hours (over the course of a few days) to decorate for Halloween.  I love the way it looks with decorations, and am really anticipating Christmas.

I have great friends that know and understand my limitations.  They do not make me feel bad when I can’t show up to most things, or cancel at the last minute.  They welcome me back anytime I am physically able to get together.

One of my friends surprised me by repaying a loan early, and in full, (rather than the payments we agreed upon), just when it was needed most.  Because when insurance sucks, medical treatment is expensive, and your income is peanuts, a large sum of money isn’t nearly as large as some think.  The timing was incredible, and breathing is now possible.

My cats are very happy with my mom, and I am so relieved.  They will always be my kids, even if they are now her kitties.  I am so grateful that she was able to take them, because otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.

And it is fall, and almost time for Halloween, Samhain (same day), and Dia De Los Josh!

Anyway, between getting the document, some work done to clean my fiance’s old residence, the news of possible financial assistance for my treatments, and just a general good feeling, I gotta say, today was a good day.

10 Reasons I Am Happy

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today isn’t the happiest day I have had in a while.  There is a dark cloud of an impending loss hanging over everything, and this entire month is filled with bad memories that still haunt me.  Too many bad things have happened in July, and I sometimes just wish I could skip the month.

But, there have been and will continue to be some good things too.  It is important for me not to lose sight of that.

As such, in accordance with article IV of the MyFridayBlog™ charter of Sector 7, row 8, next to the bean burritos, I present to you 10 reasons I am happy, despite this being a rather unhappy time.  Please hold your questions and comments until after the presentation.  No food or drink in the auditorium, unless accompanied by a liability waiver and $100,000 bond.  Please keep your seat belts fastened and your tray tables and seat backs in their full, upright positions until such a time as the captain has deemed it is safe to move about the cabin.

  1. Some very stressful uncertainty has seemed to have settled  Sure, not everything is peaches and cream over filet of unicorn in a rainbow chutney, but at least I do not feel like I am waiting for the proverbial 8,000 pound other shoe to drop on my head since I am standing too close to a non-transparent border wall.
  2. My love’s birthday is today  Which is not going to be as fun for her as it could have been if there was not this impending loss, but there will still be muted celebrations and I am still grateful she was born.  Also, I got to see the look on her face when she opened her gift, so that was very nice.  There will be birthday treats too.
  3. Weed  It’s legal here on the state level, and has been a major help in dealing with all of the garbage and trauma popping up this month.  Plus, it has helped me keep my appetite up since I tend to not be able to eat under periods of extreme stress.  Finally, laughter is supposedly the best medicine, and getting a little high certainly isn’t bad for my ability to laugh.  Like, I am so glad I was little high when I read that shit about Trump saying the border wall should be transparent to avoid falling drug injuries.  (This is why there is a 25th amendment.)
  4. Sex  I like sex.  It’s fucking great, especially when the fucking is great.
  5. Love  The Beatles (they were very obscure, you probably never heard of them), said that all you need is love.   Well, I would argue all you need is love, food, water, shelter, sex, and weed…but tomato tomato.  (That doesn’t work in print.)
  6. Location, location, location  I love my new neighborhood.  It is much less hood and much more neighborly, without all the pesky neighbors wanting to actually talk to you.
  7. Health  Despite my recent hospitalization, I am not currently in the hospital and feel relatively okay.
  8. My Path  It is nice being able to turn to something that makes sense to me when I need a little bit more than what I see in the “reality” most people perceive every day.  It is also nice not having to go to some church every week and get on my knees or beg to some god for forgiveness for that which hurts nobody.  It is great not having to go to someone’s door or anywhere else and tell people they must follow my path or face burning for eternity.  It is awesome not caring what others believe as long as they aren’t attempting to force me to live according to theirs.  it’s great not being told to hate people for their sexuality, gender identity, race, or really anything else they do that doesn’t hurt another.  Plus, the whole sex magick thing doesn’t hurt.
  9. The resistance  No, it isn’t perfect.  No, it has not been particularly effective with this lawless cabal in charge of our government.  But it is there.  People are still resisting.  Hope is not completely lost.  People with brains still exist.  People with compassion still exist.  Thanks to the resistance, we can even find out who those people are and tailor who want in our lives accordingly.  At the very least, you get to find out when our President says something completely insane about the likelihood of drug bag injuries from traditional border wall technology.
  10. Awareness  I know my flaws, I know what makes me good.  I see both.  I am comfortable with who I am, and have remembered that not everyone needs to like me and I do not need to like them in order to feel okay about myself.  This year I have lost four “friends” who were anything but as time went by.  I have seen things I considered years ago come to pass and know I was right all along to not regret some of the decisions I made that seemed foolish at the time.  I know who I want in my life, and in which parts I give them access, or who I do not want to have any place in my life at all.  I am Skynet.  I have the codes.  You can’t fucking pull the plug on me.  Today is Judgement Day, motherfuckers.  You’ve been Terminated.  Hasta la taco, Tuesday.

Well, my dear reader(s), I hope you enjoyed our time together today.  Until next time, ta-ta.

A Revelation

Hello dear reader(s)!

How the fuck are ya?

I’m a bit better today.  If you read yesterday’s post (Why would you do that to yourself?), then you may have guessed I have been a bit down in the dumps lately due to my anxiety and some adjustment to the stresses that have occurred in my life recently.  A lot of big shit has happened recently, both good and bad, and unfortunately for me, the big bad shit has a tendency to get its stink all over the big good shit so that in my head they almost become indistinguishable from each other.

My feelings of self-worth have been very low.  Being unable to work and enduring a constant attack on people like me from those who are supposedly elected to represent us is taking its toll.  It isn’t just coming from them either (although I suspect that is coloring the opinions of others) as some former friends have also looked down upon me and taken advantage of my limited independence and the situations it has forced me to be in.

With my lousy financial outlook, my physical health battles, and my mental health battles, it has been hard to boost my self-esteem.  I have been feeling like a burden to everyone I know, and to society in general.

And so, in the middle of a massive bout with anxiety yesterday, I had a big, special brownie (Heck of a job, brownie!) and began thinking about myself from a mind that was quieted slightly.  With the replay of self-loathing turned down, I began to objectively look at the person I am, and I had a revelation.

So now, I shall read to you from the book of Special Brownie Revelations, 3:16.

And lo, Josh stopped to think about it, and saw that he is pretty kick-ass.  

It’s true, I am dependent on other people.  Likely always will be.  That does suck.  However, I bring a lot to the table.  Things I think matter a whole lot more than the list of cons that often causes me to feel like I am not good enough.

And now, I present to you, in the order I decided to type them out…

All the reasons I am fucking better than I sometimes think.

  • I am generous  I don’t have a lot, but make me care about you and you will get all I have.  I’d give those I love the skin off my back if that was ever necessary.
  • I am different  I don’t see things like most people. It has allowed me to treat people with respect and a kindness most people don’t expect.
  • I am generous  In bed too.
  • I am open-minded  Not hurting anyone that isn’t an adult who wants to be hurt?  Cool!
  • I am empathetic  This is good and bad, because it means I absorb all of other people’s shit, but it is good because I can relate and care about people and all they face, unless they are total hateful assholes or those who have betrayed me.
  • I have a sense of humor  So what if most of my jokes are cheesy?  At least I can tell them.
  • I am humble  Which is hard when I’m perfect in every way.
  • I am creative  Which is far better than being purely destructive.
  • I make lists of reasons I am better than I sometimes think when I am trying to pull out of bad head space rather than being a whiny piece of shit who decides life is too hard for them and so they get a gun and shoot up former co-workers or exes or some other poor people they blame for the fact that life is just sometimes hard and unfair.  

Anyway, long story slightly less long…

Thank you everyone who read and commented on yesterday’s post.  There is still a ways to go, but I am a bit better today and appreciate everyone’s kindness.

Have a great day and don’t do any mass shootings.

Sex And Magick

Hello dear reader(s)!

Let’s start with a warning for those who freak out of over the concept of sex…

WARNING:  This post talks about sex baby.  It talks about you and me.  It talks about all the good things and the bad things that can be.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  It talks about sex.  

That’s protected by parody laws, FYI.

If you’ve been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, I feel very bad for you.  But that’s not the point here.  If you have been reading this here blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you know that I am someone who is proudly sex-positive.

Being sex-positive, I view sex positively.  It’s right there in the words.  You’d know that if you paid attention in class.  I think nothing is inherently wrong between consenting adults with full knowledge of everything involved.

What is really cool (besides me), is that in my spiritual path, sex is viewed positively.  In fact, Beltaine is coming.  And Beltaine, is a very sexual Sabbat.  Sure it is the halfway point of the year, but in marking the changes that are taking place at that time, sex is certainly a huge a part of it all.  The bees are pollinating.  Taking away the flowers by taking their pollen and fertilizing the plants that will bear fruit.  If that doesn’t bring sex to mind, then you are a far cleaner thinker than I and I feel bad for your partner(s).

In my path, you can even practice magick using sex, called…wait for it, sex magick.  (I know, right?  Who would’ve thought magick during sex would be called sex magick?  That’s just totally unrelated!)  Anyway, I am not going to go into the practice of sex magick.  I am not an instruction manual, unless someone specific wanted a lesson, and called me “teacher”.  Maybe just showed up one day, like today.  And said, “Teacher, can you teach me sex magick, pleeeeeease?”  Maybe then.  Maybe.  If she was lucky.

But you don’t have to practice sex magick or be pagan to know sex is a kind of magic in and of itself.   (Notice the change to just magic, without the K.  That was intentional.  See, things can be magical but not magick.  It’s an interesting distinction.  Like a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always square.  I am getting off topic here.  Shapes get me all worked up.  Mmmm.  Quadrilaterals…..)

Sex bonds most people.  (Better than duct tape, even.)  It can keep connections strong.  It can allow people to feel safe and comfortable.  It can allow people to explore what is inside of themselves.  (How did that get in there?!?!)  It can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner(s) and yourself.  (Nice and deep…)  It can be an outlet for your deepest emotions and desires.  (Butter pecan ice cream?!?)

And sex can hurt.  If used improperly, it is capable of great harm.  Sex is powerful, and must be treated with respect.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – The rice guy.

Anything so powerful is magical.

In witchcraft, the acts you do, the spells you do, matter far less to the determination of whether it is light or dark magick than your intent.   (Which isn’t to say that anything you do in the name of magick is acceptable.  Like, no playing Nickelback during a spell or something equally horrific like live sacrifice.)

The same could be said for sex.  The acts, while they can be wonderful, (very, very wonderful, if you’re with me, baby…), matter far less than your intent.

You don’t have to be a follower of my path or a believer in magic to know that sex is powerful.  Even if you are a member of a more puritanical system of beliefs, you know that much of trying to control sex is based on the power it can have over someone.  Or the power it can give them.

But it’s my opinion that there is nothing wrong with power if you use it properly.  Whether it is magical power, sexual power, political power (can we please get someone to use that properly?), or any other kind of power.

Taking power over our lives, our bodies, and our desires is our right.  It can lift us up and remind us that we are feeling, passionate human beings.  It can remind us of what is within us that makes up a huge part of who we are.  It can also make us feel really fucking good.

For as much as sex is shied away from in our society, it is important to remember that we are only here because of the magic of sex.  Just because the sex you have isn’t intended to reproduce, it is not accident that in the right combination it is literally why we are here.  Fortunately, not every type of sex or every sex act is intended to cause reproduction.  The world is overpopulated enough as it is, and not everyone is intended to reproduce.  That is magic.

Straight sex, gay sex, self sex, monogamous sex, poly sex… if it is something between consenting adults who are fully aware of the factors at play, you are feeling the magic.  (If you are not totally selfish, your partner(s) is/are too.)  If your intentions are good, rough sex, vanilla sex, whatever you like, is good, positive magic and you should be proud to be living a magical life.

I hope this season is very magical for all of you.   😉

I leave you with a little mood music.

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10216975