For-Profit

Hello dear reader(s)!

Watch any sports lately?  How about a cooking show?  See any commercials?  Were any of them for alcohol?

In a few minutes, I am probably going to have a special (cannabis infused) brownie.  (Tomorrow I have shit to do, or else I might tomorrow too.)  Part of it will be for my chemotherapy-induced neuropathy pain that is acting up.  Part of it will be to help my anxiety that is so strong this month.  Part of it will be to give me the appetite I need to eat dinner tonight.  Part of it will be because it seems to (seems to because I have no actual studies that show causation) keep my blood counts a bit higher than they are when I have not had any in a while.  Part of it will be to try to prevent some of the nightmares I get this month from coming tonight.

But part of it?  Part of it will just be to help me relax a bit.

And yet, on the federal level, this is a crime.  Jeffy-boy and company do not care for it one bit.  That’s fine, they don’t have to have any.  More for us.

Why is this a problem?

Do you know what I have never seen?  I have never seen a person under the influence of marijuana (and only marijuana) hit their spouse.  I have never seen a person under the influence of marijuana start a bar fight.  I have never seen a person under the influence of marijuana think they are invincible and can drive one hundred miles per hour even though they are too drunk to stand.  And most importantly, I have never seen a person turn yellow and die a slow, horrible death from liver failure because of marijuana.

Guess what I’ve seen from people under the influence of legal, advertised alcohol?

I use cannabis for pain.  I use it to help me relax.  I use it for many reasons.  Because of that, I don’t feel like I need many prescription drugs I would have no problems getting legally.  I had a prescription for heavy opioids before I started realizing the full benefits of cannabis.  You will never catch me at a park with a needle in my arm.  You will never catch me with a brown bag over a bottle.  I have something much safer that is so much more effective with fewer side-effects.

I think it is hilarious that the supposed free-market loving Republicans are against legalizing marijuana.   Taking money from the alcohol lobby and the pharmaceutical lobby to keep it illegal in order to protect the inferior products that are marketed and pushed to us like all the processed crappy food was when I was growing up.

And let’s talk about that food.  Remember when people thought butter was horrible, and margarine was the healthy way to go?  Or the “Low Fat” food was a good thing?  Or avocados were bad because they were fatty fruits?

We are living in an age of capitalism out of control.  When the need for more money puts a large number of people, even entire societies at risk, maybe there needs to be a different way.

It’s no secret that I have considered myself a Democratic Socialist long before I knew who Bernie Sanders was.  But as I see the horrible things companies are doing with our food, our medicine, our healthcare, and housing all in the name of profit, I am digging in even more than ever.  I wonder how these fucking pieces of shit sleep at night.  Maybe on all those dangerous drugs they bribe your doctor into prescribing.

I am not anti-medicine.  I do not believe cannabis cures most things.  I do, based on my own experiences and the studies that have been able to be conducted, believe that it treats and can help prevent many things.  And I am certain that it is only being kept illegal at the federal level in order to protect the profits of industries that trade off of inferior substances.

I choose not to participate.  I will do my own research, and I will try what I choose.  And if something works better for me, that’s what I will do.

I will not eat the artificial everything plus preservatives if I can find fresh and real.  I will not take the synthetic, physically addictive, mildly effective, side-effect prone pill if I know my natural medicine would do a better job of treating the condition.

My life is not for the profit of others.

Conversations

Hello dear reader(s)!

Too many times in this society we as members of society (or “Societians” if you will, or even if you won’t because this is my blog-type-thing and if I want to call members of society Societians I will and there is not a god damn thing you can do about it, thank you very much), are unwilling or unable to have conversations about the things that truly matter to us all.  Whether it be about something as important as where you put my god damn socks or something as minor by comparison as race relations, we seem to shy away from the important topics of discussion.  Oh, wait, reverse those examples.  Thank you.

Then there are times where we decide that all of our conversations must be turned into debates.  Like, just the other day I was in a very critical discussion about whether or not grey salt on dark chocolate caramels was the best thing on the planet or whether it was smoked salt on milk chocolate and the person I was attempting to converse with was obviously a moron who thought smoked salt on milk chocolate was better and felt they needed to debate their stupid opinion with me about it.  Oh yeah, they also told me all liberals should be hanged.  When all of this could have been avoided by me stating that for me, I like the grey salt on dark chocolate better and then keeping my feelings about their idiotic choice of smoked salt on milk chocolate to myself and trying to avoid rolling my eyes at their idiotic opinion.  Oh, and them saying that we could agree to disagree on politics, instead of thinking I was a treasonous traitor because I don’t hate any group of people.  So I guess there was that too, but obviously the chocolate difference is far more important.

Because if we can’t agree on chocolate, what can we agree on?

This is why I propose we have an international day of peace and chocolate.  We can stay in bed all day and eat chocolate all day and not shoot anybody.  Won’t that be nice?  A day where we can heal and remember that there is more to life than all of the disagreements and strife.  We can lay in bed all day, all of us, (although not all in the same bed, because that would have to be a huge bed), and eat chocolate.  And since we’re in bed, we can have sex while doing it.  So a day of peace and chocolate and sex.  It’s really hard to shoot someone or be a hateful prick when you’re getting laid with a face full of chocolate.

But before we can get to that International Day Of Peace, Chocolate, and Sex, we need to have the conversation.

So…um….do you want to come over for some…um…chocolate?

The conversations need to be had!!!!

Still Alive and Home Now

Hello dear reader(s)!

I’m out of the hospital.  The infection is basically gone and I am starting to feel like myself again.  (Except the stomach issues from these antibiotics, yuck!)  Sorry I have missed so much of all your lovely posts, and sorry for my lack of content.  Now that things are somewhat calming down (knock on wood), I hope to get back to some sort of consistent post-type-thinging again soon.  Like tomorrow morning, which I don’t know what time that would be for all of you because you live in different time zones from me and each other except in the cases where you live in the same timezone as me, but I really don’t want to go through all the time zones and list the approximate time equivalency when I expect I’ll be able to post next, so maybe just take my word for it that will be tomorrow morning in my time zone and then will try to hold to roughly that time (give or take a bit) to the best of my ability.  Or, you could not really care, which is the more likely option and made that last run-on sentence a little worthless, didn’t it?

So let me do a quick wrap up of thoughts since last I posted.  You don’t have to let me, it’s my blog-type-thing, I do what I want.  Respect my authority!

Trump v Clinton  Hopefully not the case before the Supreme Court that decides the Presidency.  It looks like these are our choices.  Yes, Bernie still has an outside shot, and I will definitely keep hope alive until the plus-size lady vocalizes, but I can’t help but feel like the two major parties suck complete ass and are destroying any notion of democracy in this here Republic.

Leicester City  I got emotional during the trophy presentation after their championship-worthy win (they already clinched) and they’re not even my team.  Pretty cool stuff.  5000 to 1 odds.  Seriously.

West Ham  Earlier today, some of their fans mobbed and threw bottles at the arriving Manchester United team bus and broke some windows.  Could have hurt people.  Keep it classy, West Ham.  The Hillsborough inquest earlier this month helped redeem some soccer fans in the eyes of the world, don’t go fucking that up.

Steph Curry  Also not my team.  In fact, I don’t have an NBA team.  But that dude is really good.  Too fun not to watch.  He came off a three week injury, and scored 40 points including 17 in overtime to bring the Warriors of Some State Called Golden Which I Don’t Believe Really Exists over the Portland (OR, not ME) Trailblazers, also known as RIP City because of things that I never have bothered to find out.

What’s with all the sports talk?  Well, it has been an exciting last few days.  I haven’t gone all sports freak on you, my dear reader(s), not to worry.

Food  I want pasta.  Like cheese ravioli in good marinara.  That is all.

Weather  It is beautiful here, but the particular brand of antibiotics I am on makes it bad to be out in the sun right now.  Also, I guess there are a lot of tornadoes going on where tornadoes go on at, so hopefully all those people who happen to live in the places tornadoes go on at stay safe.  And if their houses get lifted up and carried away, may they land on a witch who has been deemed wicked but only by the prevailing side thus helping them to assist Glinda in her hostile takeover of Oz.

Nurses  No, I do not have nurse fetish.  (Although…scrub butts… 😉 )  Anyway, being someone who is constantly in and out of hospitals, I can not even begin to describe the amount of gratitude I have for nurses and all they do.  Y’all don’t get enough credit for the difficult work you do.  …except for the one night nurse I had twice who does not know how to fucking shut the light she turned on back off when she leaves the room with a patient who is laid-up, does not coordinate with the CNA to make sure she knew I just had my vitals checked, and does not come in unnecessarily way too early in the morning and then hang around complaining about the computer system not working when you won’t even restart the damn computer after the other nurse you called into my room to help you told you to before you give up.  Because guess what the next nurse did after shift change?  That’s right, she restarted the fucking computer.  No thank you to you, but thank you to everyone else.

Cannabis  A study has noted that traffic fatalities increased in 2014, after marijuana legalization in my state.  That study makes the assumption that it is due to the legalization of marijuana.  It also notes that more drivers tested positive for marijuana in their system since legalization.  While there is correlation, any scientist worth their precious little white jacket can tell you that correlation does not equal causation.  In fact, there are very reasonable variables to completely the assumption that is being reported by the media.  One possible explanation for the increase in fatalities is just the sheer increase in population.  It stands to reason that the fatalities would not only increase proportionately but could even increase exponentially as the already congested roads are just way past capacity and are more dangerous than a one for one increase would have you believe.  A possible reason for the increase in drivers who tested positive for marijuana, is increased testing in legalization itself.  Blood tests weren’t exactly commonplace once someone passed a breathalyzer prior to legalization and nothing else was found that would present probably cause.  But the narrative is to be scared of the dangerous plant that people have been using for a very long, but more secretly.

Posting  Sorry.  Didn’t expect this one to be so big and full of word vomit.  I guess I really missed it.

Until next time, my dear reader(s), may the road rise up to meet you, be free of potholes, free of roadkill, free of tolls, relatively empty and safe to drive fast on, take you to your destination, clearly marked, wait, if it rises up to meet you, does that mean it goes uphill?  Maybe not then.

 

 

Bound

Her perfume was intoxicating as she leaned over him.  His hands held together, over his head, until she cinched the straps through the buckles on his wrists.  A slight pull on his wrists as she attacked them to the frame of the bed.  She had never done anything like this, and he never would have thought he wanted it, but was more aroused than he ever remembered being.

She leaned in even further and whispered in his ear, “You are not supposed to enjoy this.”

The feel of her breath combined with the power of her words sent shivers over his entire body.  He tried to hold back his smile as she lifted her head away from his ear, but couldn’t keep a straight face.

That changed when he felt the slap.

His eyes widened, and he looked at her in shock.

“About time you take this seriously,” she said, flatly.

Stunned, he could only manage, “You hit me!”

“Yes,” she replied coldly.

He was upset.  His mind told him that her slap went too far.  Play was one thing, but a slap to the face and her cool attitude told him that this was something else.  He felt disrespected.  But as the sting from her hand faded and turned into the warmth of rushing blood through his skin, that spread to each of his nerve endings, his body betrayed his mind.

His body’s response wasn’t lost on her.  She got up and stood at the edge of the bed and looked down at him with disdain.  “You liked that, didn’t you?  I knew you were weak, the last few days proved that, but I had no idea just how much.”

His mind raced.  He asked himself what she meant by “the last few days”.  He wondered whether or not she was joking or truly serious.  He wondered why he couldn’t stop being so turned on by it.

His shirt already off, she leaned back onto the bed and undid his pants, sliding them off.  She stood back up at the foot of the bed, herself still fully clothed, and smiled.  “You are going to regret the last few days.  Enjoy this now, you won’t be soon.”

The realization struck him.  She was serious.  He suddenly wasn’t turned on anymore.  He was scared.  He began to pull at the restraints that held his hands to the bed, but they would not budge.  “Let me out!” he yelled at her.

She calmly walked over to the nightstand where she had set her phone down.  She checked the time on it.

“Any minute now,” she announced.

“Any minute now, what?” he asked in a panic.

“You know what you did!” she answered.

“No, what did I do?  What are you doing?”

The doorbell rang.

She turned and walked toward the living room, before she shut the door to the bedroom on her way out, she told him, “You cheated.  And now I’m going to make you watch.”

She slammed the door.

He was going crazy.  Pulling at the straps, trying to break free.  He had never been unfaithful to her.  Never even in his mind.  He would never jeopardize their relationship by going outside of it.

But he heard his wife giggle and the muted sounds of a male voice.  He heard the front door shut.  He gave up trying to struggle and started to cry.  There was no arousal, there was no fight, there was just the despair of what was occurring.

He saw the doorknob turn.  He took a deep breath as the door opened.  She walked in.  She was carrying a pizza.

“I found the In-N-Out Burger bag in your car, bastard!  We were supposed to be doing this diet together and I know you cheated!”

She opened the box and lifted a slice to her lips.  She took a bite and made sure to exaggerate how good it tasted.

The sense of relief caused him to burst out into laughter.

“I’m sorry, I was so hungry!” he told her.

She finished her slice, walked around to the top of the bed, and undid the straps.  “It’s okay, that was kind of fun.  Something to consider,” she winked.

He sat up and smiled at her.

“Slice?” she asked.

My New Recipe

Hello dear reader(s)!

I know that yesterday I said I was going to write some fiction, but I have since decided I would like to share a wonderful new creation  with you.

I was hungry yesterday, but didn’t have much to make.  I didn’t feel like going to the store.  I was also having company over to watch the sporting type games.  I needed snacks to go with the eight kegs and to keep my guests entertained.  What could I do?

I went to my pantry, and dug around for things I could whip up.  Unfortunately, there was not much whipable contents.  No cream, or cream-like products because I was looking in my pantry.  You can’t really whip things you keep in your pantry, and if you can, that would be pretty gross and you might want to clean out your pantry.  Why would you even think otherwise?  You disappoint me.

Anyway, I looked into my pantry to find something good.

There was some salt.  Some pepper.  Some Italian seasoned breadcrumbs.

Sounded like nothing I could whip something up from.

I thought about things that would be whipped up, and decided to check in my refrigerator.  I looked all around the shelves for something whipable.  I was out of milk.  I was out of cream.  I couldn’t find anything.

So instead I started just looking for something I could make.  Fuck whipping.  I don’t need to whip something up, I just need to make it.  The whipping will be reserved for later, if you’re not a good girl.

I dug through and found a package of mozzarella, an egg, and some ranch dressing.

“I know exactly what I can make for the party!” I shouted at the voices in my head.  “Ranch balls!”

And so I made the ranch balls.  They were a hit.  My guests were eating them, and dipping them in more ranch.  So much ranch that it ran down their chins!

Now I will share this wonderful recipe with you, my dear reader(s).

Ranch Balls

You will need:

  • A baking sheet
  • a couple of bowls
  • A melon baller
  • Soft mozzarella, not shredded
  • One egg
  • Italian seasoned bread crumbs
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Steps:

  • In one bowl, combine breadcrums, and salt & pepper to taste.
  • In another bowl, combine one egg, and about 1 1/2 cup ranch dressing.
  • Using melon baller, begin making small balls of mozzarella just like you were making melon balls.
  • Dip the balls first in the ranch/egg mixture, then roll them in the breadcrumbs/salt/pepper mixture until thoroughly coated.
  • Place the balls on the baking sheet about an inch apart.
  • Put the balls in the freezer for about an hour.
  • Pre-heat oven to 375º Faherenheit.
  • Take balls from freezer directly to oven.
  • Bake for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown.
  • Allow to cool slightly.
  • Serve with extra ranch dressing.
  • Enjoy!

Your guests will be delighted by your glorious ranch balls!  Who doesn’t love ranch balls?  Nobody I want to know, anyway.  Cheesy, ranchy, ranch balls!

I have no picture of the finished product.  I’m sorry, they were consumed too fast.

Featured image by Whitney from Chicago, IL (Ranch Dressing  Uploaded by Diádoco) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

 

A Valentine’s Meal

Hello dear reader(s)!

Have you ever had that one special recipe that you made, that seemed to be magic?  The recipe that you could make perfectly every single time?  The recipe that if you made for someone would cause them to fall near instantly in love with you?

For me, that recipe is chicken rolls.  Unfortunately for me, there will be no chicken rolls this Valentine’s Day.  Because I went mostly vegetarian.  And now I’m a pescatarian.  Because there is fresh wild salmon here, so I’m eating that too now.  Sue me.  At least the reason I am not having them isn’t because I am some sort of freak who doesn’t like cream cheese.  Who doesn’t like cream cheese?  Nobody I want to know anyway.  Or peach cobbler?  What?   But I digress.

However, my dear reader(s), I was not always a mostly vegetarian then pescatarian.  That didn’t start until this last summer.  Before that, I still ate meat.  I like to cook.  Since it can be creative, of course I am going to like it.  And while I have never before posted a recipe on this blog-type-thing (I think, hell, I don’t know.), I figured what with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, in this here blog-type-thing’s never-ending quest to educate, enlighten, and entertain…I would offer up this amazing recipe for you dear reader(s) to prepare for a romantic dinner for your date that has never, ever failed me in getting lucky once prepared for my date.  Ever.  Seriously, this is like magic.

So if you all are ready, here is the recipe.  They are called chicken rolls.

Actually fuck that, chicken rolls are my secret weapon.  You think I’m going to just give away that kind of power?  Please!

Sorry, I just thought I’d let you all know that I can make a food that is an aphrodisiac for people who are normal and like cream cheese.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?  Do you have any plans?  Do you care about it, or is it just another day?  Do you have a Valentine?

The Great Alaskan Stomachache

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am writing this post from my hotel room in Anchorage at 10:30pm (Anchorage time) on a Friday night.  Why am I in already at 10:30 on Friday night?

Well, for one…

I am exhausted!!!!!

For two…

I think I either have mild food poisoning, or my body just isn’t used to eating delicious salmon anymore.  You see, up until this trip, I have been eating mostly things with no meat.  Not full-on vegetarian, just rarely doing the meat thing anymore.  Until this trip.  I’ve already had an amazing buffalo cheese burger, a MASSIVE pretzel turkey sandwich, & today, a delicious salmon “burger”.  (Not burger, as not ground, thankfully.)

I don’t think the stomach is all that happy about the change.

Also, I don’t know if a build up of lactic acid can move to your stomach, but it could be that too, because I am sore!

Yesterday I did a ton of walking around Anchorage’s downtown, to different busses, the zoo, and just general sightseeing.  As a result, my legs were sore when I woke up this morning.

Today, I decided it would be a good idea to hike the 12 miles of the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail.  It was a good idea…but not for my legs.  They hate me right now.

I still managed to be out until about 10-ish, having fun, meeting people, etc…  And then my stomach made that noise that signals it is time to go.  You know those walks are the longest walks of your life, even when your legs aren’t already on fire.

Despite that, I am having a great time.  (Please excuse the changing of tenses, I’m too tired to care.)

Here is the breakdown of events so far:

Wednesday:

  • Get a ride to the airport from my friend, Laura.  Thanks Laura, and for the kitty care.
  • Arrive at airport finding out my tiny prop plane is delayed enough to make me seriously worried about making my connection.
  • Get on tiny prop plane, have relatively smooth, relaxed flight.  I even had my row to myself.
  • Arrive with about 5 minutes to run into the terminal in Seattle and down the ramp to the real jet.  They closed the doors two minutes after I sat down.
  • Have relatively smooth flight to Anchorage except for being pissed because I had an aisle seat and dude with the window slept the whole time anyway…his fat head blocking the window for most of the views.  Barely got a peek at some awesome snow-covered mountains, but could not manage a picture.
  • Arrived and went to my hotel, to find that my direct deposit was a day late, meaning I could either fork over all my cash or wait.  Since my deposit was pending and it would go in at 1 Eastern Time, meaning it would be in at 9 where I was and it was already 7:30, I chose to wait it out.  I walked to a pizza place/pub, not far from where I’m staying that just so happened to be the one my friend and I were going to go to on her recommendation another day.  It was great!
  • Get back to the hotel and check in.  Sleep like a baby.

Thursday:

  • Walk a lot further than necessary to go get breakfast at Alaska Bagel Restaurant.  The bagel was as wide as my face and really tall. Huge, but good.  So was the coffee.
  • Hop the bus to downtown.
  • Walk around all the shops at the Marketplace.  Buy a few souvenirs.
  • Take a tour on a trolley of the Anchorage area.  Fun, cheesy jokes, good history, and totally worth it.
  • Walked around some more, looking for lunch.  The place I was looking for didn’t open until 4. Found a place, had a salmon sandwich that was terrible, complete with pin bones.  Actually, had only a bite or two.
  • Walked to the visitor center where I took the trolley tour and decided to go to the zoo.
  • Talked to my friend who met me there and then left to go explore.
  • Went to Wee B’s where I had the greatest buffalo cheeseburger, & maybe the best burger I’ve had.
  • Hung around at the mall.  Yes, the mall.
  • Visited the Tilted Kilt for a couple of beers.  Think Scottish Hooters.  If not for my friend I just would’ve felt sleazy there, but instead it was fun.
  • Drove around, saw her neighborhood which she claims is in the hood.  To her credit, she showed me where a murdered guy was found a week or so earlier.  Still looked nice.
  • Went to Fire Taps, a pretty cool place with the massive pretzel sandwiches.  I wondered why I got one, having just ate, but was reminded that it had already been 5 or more hours since the burger.
  • Got to the hotel and slept like a dog.

Today:

  • Woke up later than I planned.  Missed the guided tour of the coastal trail.  Decided, f it, I’ll do it myself.
  • Had some of my leftover sandwich for fuel for the hike.
  • Hopped the bus to as close to the trail as it would go.
  • Walked through some neighborhoods.
  • Walked the trail.
  • Seriously worried about my sanity as I got into some deep woods and recalled stories of moose attacks.
  • Wished I would’ve brought more water.
  • Dismissed my concerns and walked along, taking pictures of some of the most beautiful scenery I have been through.
  • Walked into downtown.
  • Ate at a place called Humpy’s with that great salmon burger.
  • Went to some bar I don’t know the name of which was fun, except for the rapist quality of some of the women who talked to me.
  • Stomach dropped, hopped the bus back.
  • Checked my voicemail, found my glacier face tour tomorrow is cancelled due to not enough sign-ups, but was assured I’d be issued a full-refund.  Grrrrr!

If I am up for it, I will post some pictures tomorrow night.  I’d do it now, but I want to sleep!