You Keep Using That Word

I do not think it means what you think it means.

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today’s word is not “inconceivable”, like in the awesome movie The Princess Bride, from which I took the title and first line of this post.

Today’s word is “ally”.

And for this post, “ally” is specifically referring to those who claim to be for equal rights for LGBTQAEIOU and sometimes Y people.  (Yes, I do not indulge in petty arguments over letters.  Feel free to add or subtract your own.)

You see, last month was Pride month.  And last month, a lot of people had their rainbow flags (some of whom argued over colors), and all kinds of posts about how they were an ally.  How they think that who people love should not matter.  And that’s great.

Except I know how some of these people voted.  These people are not allies.

You can not be an ally if you voted for a Trump/Pence ticket.  I could possibly forgive you for falling for Don the Con’s lip-service to the gay community, but his choice for Vice President was made before you voted.  And Mikey “Mother Lover” Pence is not exactly a friend to the gay community.  He is an enemy.  If you voted to advance his career, you are, in fact, the exact opposite of an ally.  Jeffyboy Sessions (KKK trash) was pretty well-known to be unfriendly to anyone who was not a rich, straight, white male.  Trump himself was pushed heavily by outspoken evangelical enemies of the gay community and it does not take a rocket scientist to know that he would be supporting their hateful, freedom to discriminate agenda.  You can’t be an ally if you are in league with the enemy.  And I don’t care if you are gay, or bi, or trans, or pansexual, genderfluid, queer, intersex, alien, mermaid…if you voted for these clowns, you need to have your head examined for your self-loathing selling-out of your rights.

Allies, provide mutual defense.  Allies come to the aid of those attacked.  Allies sure as hell do not prioritize another issue over the safety and freedom of those who they ally with.  Allies don’t justify the loss of rights of their allies from some empty promises and other rhetoric on other issues important to them.

Being an ally doesn’t just mean posting a rainbow flag on Facebook.  You can’t be an ally and still vote for people looking to take away the rights of your allies.  Greg Abbott voters are not allies.  You can’t justify people’s discrimination as religious freedom and call yourself an ally.

You can’t knowingly support certain discriminatory businesses and call yourself an ally.  Allies don’t get give material support and aid to the enemies of their allies.

When I say I am an ally, here is what I mean:

  • I will never set foot in a Chik-fil-A or any business that I KNOW contributes to the denial of rights or fights to discriminate against others using “religious freedom” as an excuse  This shit was supposed to be settled when racists argued their religion allowed them to discriminate against black people.  I am certain I unwittingly consume from hateful-ass companies, but I try.
  • I will call out anyone and everyone as hateful when they support hateful legislation  Like when I blasted the Mormons for opposing Prop 8 and lost friends as a result.
  • I will defend my allies from attack as vigorously as I would defend myself  And if you fuck with one of the allies who are close to me, even more so.
  • I will vote for the candidate least likely to deny people’s rights in any election ever  Nothing is more important.
  • I will do my best to make my voice heard whether it is June, or July, or any time.  That means showing up to marches when I can, or spreading the word when I can’t.  It means posting about it here.  It mean calling my representatives anytime I am aware of legislation that could potentially impact my allies.
  • I will not associate with any group that discriminates  I think it is hilarious that Christians often call-out Muslims for not stopping those who hate in their religion’s name, and those who commit acts of violence, but are unusually silent when a much higher percentage of people in their own religion hate and commit violence against gay people.  I am surprised when I see people attend churches that are opposed to gay rights while claiming to be an ally.

I am an ally.  Some of the people close to me are in constant danger or losing their rights or being harmed.  I am their ally though, and if you want to attack them, be prepared for a war.




Down With The Patriarchy

Hello dear reader(s)!

This post will by no means be a complete assessment of my feelings on the way our society views the sexes.  It doesn’t even begin to cover half of the issues I have with it.  It won’t be a #NotAllMen post that does not acknowledge the very real privileges I have by being male in this society.  It won’t be a post claiming that I am somehow under attack as a white male because people dare to want the same rights and privileges that I have.

But it will be a selfish post.  Because I don’t want to speak for anyone else on such a subject that people rightly feel so impassioned about.  Besides, this is my blog-type-thing, not yours.

When this thing hits Twitter, I know the insults will fly.  By daring to dislike the way things are set-up I will be called a Beta Male, people will send me graphics telling me my man-card has been revoked, and I will be called a traitor to my sex.  As if we are in a fucking gender war.  These losers can think whatever they want about me.  They can think that I bend over backwards and that is the only way I can successfully date (I am not pulling this out of nowhere, this was said the last time I posted something with feminist ideas), but anyone who knows me knows this isn’t true.  It always cracks me up they feel the need to try to bring down anyone who likes to bring others up.  They are losers, and their opinions don’t matter.  All the same, I will block them both here and on Twitter when it comes.

So here is why the patriarchy sucks for me.

  • It Makes Women Scared of Me  The other day, I got off the bus.  There was a woman walking on the street in the same direction that I was.  I wasn’t going to try to pick up on her.  I didn’t even want to talk to her.  But I was struck by the way she seriously increased her pace.  It’s a fucking shame she felt the need, but I can’t blame her.
  • It Presumes We Lack Self-Control  I’ve mentioned this before, but I am not a slave to my many urges.  I have a thinking, reasoning brain, and I have empathy.  But every time some loser says a woman was asking to be raped because she was drunk (looking at you “moderate” John Kasich), or was dressed provocatively, it is degrading to our thinking ability and strength in the control of our desires.
  • It incorrectly assumes a degree of male stupidity  We’ve all seen the commercials.  The guy is asking the woman how to clean something and she is laughing at him for not knowing what fucking bleach is or something like that.  Or maybe the guys are just portrayed as irresponsible and impulsive.  Guess what everyone, we are not idiots.  I know how to run a vacuum, I know not to mix bleach and ammonia, I know what a sponge is, and I know how to cook too.  Good.  By assuming any kind of domestic chore is a woman’s job, or that to be a man means to be impulsive and not focused on anything but what is in the moment, it makes it acceptable to paint men as irresponsible idiots.

  • Decisions  “What do you want to eat?”  “I don’t care.”  “Okay, how about pizza?”  “No, I don’t feel like pizza.”  “Okay, how about burritos?”  “No, we just had Mexican.”  FUCK THAT NOISE!  Yes, it is nice to get what you want sometimes, but sometimes, I want to know the person I am with wants.  But in our society, she is taught not to say it.  She is supposed to let me lead and wait for me to figure out what she can accept.  Her opinion doesn’t mater.  Especially when I have other things on my mind, it is nice to have someone else make a goddamn decision from time to time.  Additionally, I am not the most organized person in the world.  If there is a decision to be made that requires organization or keeping track of things, I am more than happy to yield in that area.  Put simply, there are a lot of things people can do better than I can and there are many things I can do better than they can.  It is not up to society to define what those things are, it is up to me and the person I am with.
  • Sex  Of course I’m going to bring this up.  If you’ve read my blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you have probably gotten some idea that I have a thing for strong women.  Let me be clear that a strong woman does not have to be a dominatrix (although a little power exchange play can be fun).  By strong woman, I simply mean a woman who knows her strengths, knows her weaknesses, is comfortable with both, and is not afraid to speak and act in her interest.  I like the women I am with to be a person, not a damn blow-up doll/maid.  I like the women I am with to know that sex does not have to begin when I enter her and does not end when I ejaculate.  Besides, always being the one directing everything just gets a little boring after a while.
  • The box  I am just fine being a man and have no interest in being anything but.  But I hate the hyper-masculine expectations that are placed on me.  I don’t need to dominate everyone around me.  I don’t give a fuck about your lifted truck.  I like to talk about things other than sports (although I like plenty of sports).  I do not cat-call.  I still notice attractive women (all the time) but do not feel the need to tell my friends what I would do to her in order to prove the fact that I’m a man.  I can fucking multitask, I can emote, and I can reason.  I have empathy for other people and I am sick and tired of society looking down on me for that.
  • Empathy  I have and do currently care a lot about the women in my life.  And it bothers me to know how they have been treated.  How they make less money, how they are underrepresented in government (though to be fair, unless you’re a corporation, we all are), how much they fear being victims, how they are blamed for the violence they have endured, and how they have it drilled into them that they need to be subservient and submissive to us.

This is not an all-encompassing list, but merely just some thoughts on why I feel so strongly about gender equality.

What say you?  Keep it civil or get blocked.

State’s Wrongs

Hello dear reader(s)!

So if you are still one of the people who think that the US Civil War was about State’s Rights and slavery, you might want to stop reading now because there is no hope you will understand this post.

In case you just don’t know but have been told that lie…it is a lie.  The states themselves, in their official secession declarations explicitly said it was about slavery.  Look it up.

Basically, and I hate to break this to you, the 14th amendment is an amendment to the Constitution.  It is a change to the Constitution.  It was passed by both houses of Congress, and ratified by the states.  It is the law of the land.  If you support the 2nd amendment, and do not support the 14th, you are a hypocrite.  You can not claim to support the Constitution if you do not support the changes to it made under the framework laid out by the Constitution itself.  It is that simple.

The 14th, for all intents and purposes, can completely change the 10th amendment if all states are not providing equal protection under the law.

Article 4 said a citizen of one state was entitled to the rights as a citizen of any other state.  Then the Bill of Rights with amendments 1 through 10 changed that by saying the federal government only had the powers it was explicitly granted under the rest of the Constitution.  The 10th (The amendment cited by supporters of State’s Rights) said the remaining powers would be granted to the states or the people.  Yet, the State’s Rights supporters do not seem to read the “or the people” portion of that amendment.  The states used the 10th as a power grab and certainly didn’t advocate for any direct democracy in those other areas.  At any rate, the 10th allowed the states to nullify Article 4 in all practicality, unless it was under a power granted to the Federal Government.

When the Confederacy began to secede after the election of President Lincoln, under nothing more than the fear he would abolish slavery, many people invoked the 10th amendment and if Lincoln had actually tried to abolish slavery without an amendment to the Constitution had the states remained in the Union, it likely would have been overruled by the Supreme Court on the support of the 10th.  Lincoln knew this and stated that he was not going to do that, but would not admit new states to the union who did not ban slavery.  His hope was that it would die out as free states became the majority.

Some people cite the theory of nullification as justification for the Confederate secession, however, that theory a) wouldn’t have come into play since the federal government had not moved to abolish slavery in slave sates, and b) had never been upheld in any federal court because the Constitution very specifically gives the Supreme Court the power to determine whether a law is Constitutional or not under Article 3, and the Supremacy Clause also supports that.

The Confederacy did more to end slavery than the Union, and did more to end the overwhelming power of State’s Rights by seceding before the federal government made any attempts to abolish slavery in the slave states.  Then, they further screwed up their “cause” by attacking a federal fort that had been established when there was a Untied States of America.  Since the right of secession was not granted under the Constitution, and the attack on Fort Sumter now allowed the Untied States to act under its Constitutional authority to defend the nation, the Civil War began and allowed Lincoln to consider the states as hostile territories under US occupation, allowing him to emancipate the slaves in those areas.

Then when the decimated Confederate states were invited back into the Union, there were conditions attached, which is a Constitutional authority of the federal government (Article 4, Section 3) since they have the say in determining who they let into the Union and what conditions must be met.  In doing so, the conditions were set for a Constitutional amendment abolishing slavery, and also granting equal protection under the law.

In other words, the 14th amendment essentially nullified the 10th, in cases where that state law was giving more rights to some citizens than to others.  States still have rights to make laws, but not to discriminate against their own citizens.

In the coming days, you will hear State’s Rights being brought up a lot.  In Texas, the Attorney General is already ordering clerks to refuse marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  His reasoning is that states make marriage laws, and not the federal government.

However, with the Supremacy Clause, Article 3 of the Constitution, and the 14th amendment, there is simply no case for Texas.  The coming conflicts (hopefully in the courts), will once again be an attempt by those who wish to discriminate against people hiding behind a theory of State’s Rights.  But, as is clear, states only have the right to make laws when they provide equal protection.

The 14th is clear.

“Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”  

By allowing one group to the legal benefits of marriage, and denying it to another, the states are in violation of the Constitution.