Pagans Can Suck Too

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think all Christians like all other Christians or the things other Christians do?  Do you think all Muslims like all other Muslims and all they do?  If you do, I can show you actual wars that would suggest otherwise.

I am a Pagan.  I am an eclectic Pagan, who does not belong to a coven.  I do (when I can), belong to a group that celebrates the Sabbats together, however, we all have pretty different beliefs and ideologies.  The great thing about being a Pagan, is that most of us are not trying to convert each other into believing the same.

However, that isn’t to say that there aren’t things that other Pagans do that annoy the shit out of me.  It isn’t to say that there aren’t some Pagans who I wish would call themselves something else because I’d rather not associate with them.

So, because I like lists, for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, let me list those Pagan-type people who annoy the living fuck out of me.

  1. Fucking racist Pagans  This is pretty prevalent in the Norse Pagan groups.  #NotallNorsePagans.  It, of course, is not everyone who is down with the legends of Odin, but substantially too many.  You aren’t superior, you’re not a fucking viking, and I saw your stupid asses on the news marching in Charlottesville today, and trust me, you look like fucking inbred hillbillies that couldn’t fucking lift a toy hammer, let alone carry Thor’s.  I hope you all die.  I’m not kidding.  See a Nazi, shoot a Nazi.  More on the hate crime and our inept President’s piss-ant response tomorrow when I calm down so I don’t say anything that could warrant a visit to my home by the Secret Service.
  2. Believe in anything just because it isn’t mainstream Pagans  If I hear one more thing about Mercury retrograde, I am going to do something that I haven’t quite thought of yet, but trust me, it will be bad.  Mercury never goes retrograde.  It appears to go retrograde.  There is no change in the gravitational pull from Mercury during this time.  Furthermore, just because Mercury was the Roman god of travelers and transporters of goods, does not mean that a planet appearing to reverse orbit (once again, it does not) will affect your travel plans or communication during this time.  Even if the orbit did reverse (it is an optical illusion), the gravitational effect on you from Mercury would be less than that of a car passing you on the street, given the distance you are from that planet.  Just because something is mystical and was once believed, doesn’t mean it still should be.  After all, some believed the Earth was flat, only fucking idiots like Tia Tequilia believe that now.
  3. Path conversion Pagans  Your path is not mine.  If you want to join a converting religion, why aren’t you a Catholic?  We can agree to disagree, no matter what the pope says.  If you need to beat people onto your path, your path is probably made up of horseshit.
  4. Lifestyle conversion Pagans  I am sex-positive.  My path is sex-positive.  A whole lot of Pagan paths are.  But not all.  Everyone’s path is different and that should be okay.  Additionally, many Pagan paths are cool with polyamory.  I am cool with polyamory, even though I am not polyamorous and am quite happy being monogamous.  If you aren’t cool with my monogamy, I am not cool with you.  So go fuck yourself, or your partner, or your group, or nobody.  Up to you.
  5. Lazy Pagans  These are the Pagans who like to preach things then do absolutely fuck-all about it.  For example, a while ago, my little city had its LGBTQ Pride Day.  It was fun.  A whole lot of major Pagan paths, and covens, are very vocal about supporting LGBTQ rights.  In most of the paths, it is pretty clear that joining the masculine and feminine energies are energies, and not necessarily males and females.  Indeed, many paths speak of the energies existing within everyone.  (Something I strongly believe.)  And yet, on the local LGBTQ Pride Day, did I see booths for Pagan groups and their covens?  Nope.  Didn’t see any in the bit of parade I watched either (though admittedly, I may have missed them if they marched since I didn’t see the whole thing.)  But do you know what I did see?  Christian churches (The ones who live by a book that calls a man lying with another man an abomination).   They marched with LGBTQ-friendly church banners, and had booths at the event.  If Chrisitans can show up in support when their own book dislikes something, maybe the people who think it isn’t a problem could show up too.
  6. Pagans who say one thing, and do another  Like the ones who constantly whine about not being taken seriously yet vote for Christian Supremacists.  Or the ones who deny climate-change.  “I love nature, as long as it drowns coastal cities and dries up crops.”
  7. Hollywood Pagans  (This doesn’t mean Pagans who might live in Hollywood.)  Guess what, I have also seen The Craft.  It’s actually a pretty decent movie.  I saw Practical Magic.  Less decent in my opinion, but taste is subjective, I guess.  I have seen Hocus Pocus.  Funny as hell, but not a guide to anything.  I also like Buffy, but I can guarantee you that Willow and Tara are not your typical Pagan.
  8. Light-only Pagans  It’s okay to get down.  It’s okay to embrace the darkness every once in a while.  And, in my opinion, it is okay to do what is necessary to keep someone from harming you.  While I do try to live according to the Wiccan Rede (even though I am not Wiccan), I will take leeway when harming someone is in my own defense or the defense of others.  This is my path, and if you take issue with it, maybe you should look more closely at yours.  An it harm none, do as ye will, but I guarantee you, I take no issue in harming a Nazi.
  9. Pick-up Pagans  As a male, who is attracted to females, I can safely say that I am usually in the minority in most Pagan circles.  There are often a lot of females around at any events I attend.  Many are single, and I would be blind to be unaware of this fact.  However, not once have I, nor should anyone else attend these functions for the sole purpose of hitting on other Pagans.  Sure, you may connect with a Pagan, (similar interest can do that), and maybe something will grow from there, but if you are using your Pagan status as a dating service, you’re just a desperate sleeze.  My love is a Pagan, but us getting together has more to do with seat belts than our spirituality.  That was like a bonus.
  10. Pagans of convenience  These are the Pagans who join up to rebel or be different, but really are not at all on a spiritual path.  They will drop out when faced with any pressure from the overwhelming masses who do not understand why anyone in this nation isn’t Christian, or at the first sign of hardship in life.  “It didn’t work, I am going to go back to believing in a zombie.”  They will decide all Pagans are bad when they are confronted with any of the above types of annoying Pagans.  They will claim they grew-up.  They were never interested in being Pagan, only in being part of clique.

In any group, there are people you would rather not associate with.  It is important to remember this.  Not all Christians are homophobic assholes.  Not all Muslims are terrorists or women abusers.

But as soon as we fail to call-out those who we feel do not represent us, we might as well join them.

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Yes, I Do Spells

Hello dear reader(s)!

Welcome to another exciting edition of MyFridayBlog™!  As some of you dear reader(s) may or may not be aware, I consider myself to be a solitary, eclectic pagan.  I also consider myself to be a witch*, which (I just got to say witch which) I am sure sounds weird to a lot of people reading this, but I believe isn’t weird at all.  I think anyone with a healthy sense of empathy who actually buys into the notion that everything is connected on some level is close to becoming a witch, the only steps remaining is to actually practice the craft and to call oneself a witch.  At any rate, people unfamiliar with witches hear that and tend to scoff.  As soon as I say it, they usually ask one of two questions:

  1. So you worship Satan?  No, I don’t even believe in Satan.  And don’t give me the crap about Satan leading me astray by claiming that anything else I do worship is Satan in disguise.  I know that what I “worship” isn’t your evil (Or was he?  Well, that’s a different post.) rebel angel in your book I do not take any stock in.
  2. So, what do you do spells?  Yep.  Sure do.  Fairly often, even.  And I believe they help.

Now they think I’m insane.  I would like to know why.  What makes my spells so much crazier than your prayer?  Nothing.  Your belief in your God, and your disbelief in anything else is the only thing that makes mine seem crazier to you.  It is less accepted by the people in this culture.  That’s it.

Most of my spells involve candle magic.  It’s really my favorite.  Have you ever been to a Catholic church?   See all those candles?

Now let me make this absolutely clear:  I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE, so long as you are not trying to infringe upon my beliefs or rights using those beliefs as an excuse.  I am not trying to convert anyone.  I like that generally, when I meet other witches and pagans, I am meeting people who are fairly like-minded and were not pressured into their respective paths.  So this quick explanation of my particular path is particular to me, and is not in any way an attempt to get people to believe as I do.  It is merely to explain to you that I am not crazy, or any crazier than anyone else with a belief system that hasn’t been scientifically proven.  It is also to show that I am not evil.  At least not for what I believe.

Let’s start with those spells.  To me, on my eclectic, solitary path, spells are nothing more than ultra-focused meditation.  Often in any type of meditation, the person fails because they are too focused on whether or not it is working.  In my spells, I am focused on the steps.  The circle I cast, the words I use, the candles I light, and any other specific steps I follow.  Unlike prayer, I do not ask my deities for things.  I ask my deities to help me obtain things myself.  Or if I am doing it for someone else, to help them.  As I watch the flame of the candle, I create pictures in my mind of what it will be like when I have successfully achieved what I want.  And once the spell is over, I’m relaxed, thinking clearly, and a million new ideas are forming on how to achieve something I may have been stuck on prior.  I also happen to believe that just putting it out there helps it come back to you, and that I can manipulate the energy around me to making things easier to happen, but I understand that isn’t exactly rational.  But not everything is.  I mean, Trump is President.

Now for the deities.  I do not believe in one God.  Well, I kind of do, in that my God is energy.  But to me, there are two distinct sides to that God.  That makes that God into two.  A feminine Goddess and a masculine God.  Sort of a yin-yang.  A positive and negative.  A light and dark.  Even matter has that duality.  A lot of my fellow pagans have more than the two.  Or they name them and have all kinds of different representations.  I don’t, but it certainly doesn’t bother me if their path is different.  So my Goddess and God are simply energy, and even calling them a Goddess and God are merely representations of that energy.  I do believe in the triple Goddess, maiden, mother, crone.  Just as different stages of that energy tied to time.  I believe time, and seasons, and all of the changes in light and energy can be used for planning things in your life just as farmers used the seasons to plant crops.  I believe being in tune with that energy of the natural world helps make life easier.

I believe that you can on occasion read the energy around you to divine what may be coming.  Again, not exactly rational, and I am aware of this.

Can you prove your belief system?  Even atheists can only prove up to a point.

I believe in other realms.  Many scientists believe in a multiverse.  This isn’t really that much of a stretch.

I believe in science.  I go to doctors.  I take medicine.  I think nothing that I believe that hasn’t been proven is fact, but it works for me.  Nature is my church, and natural energy is my deities.

There is so much more to my path.  I can’t go into it all on one post, or in one year.  But this is a basic run-down of what I believe.  It is simply to show you that my beliefs are no crazier than other beliefs that rely on what can’t be proven, so that when you see the pentacle around my neck, you won’t think I am some dangerous person.

But the main part of my path I want you to think about is this:  An it harm none, do what ye will.  I try very hard to live by that.  So no ritual sacrifice, no stoning people…none of that.  I do not hold as strictly to it as some, because if harming someone is the only way to protect myself from life-threatening harm, you can bet that goes out the window.  If you understand that is what I believe, maybe you won’t think I am such a threat to you and your beliefs.

*Male witches are witches, not warlocks.  Warlocks are traitors.