Why You Suck At Resisting, Part 2

Hello dear reader(s)!

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post.  Click here to read that one.

Yesterday I left off with a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. that is seldom trotted out by my fellow white people who think that he was more for peace and order than a just peace.  It is the perfect lead-in to this next point.

  • You condemn direct action and the necessary use of force by those fighting for justice  I don’t know how many times I have heard my fellow white people talk about the roads being blocked by protesters.  I don’t know how many times I have heard them complain about marches that were not permitted.  I don’t know how many times I have heard them about the disruptive practices that groups such as Black Lives Matter and ANTIFA engage in to help make their messages heard.  They usually trot out some Martin Luther King, Jr. quote about peace and nonviolence to attempt to bolster their point without knowing the full body of his work and opinions.  But, the “peaceful, nonviolent marches” of the 60’s civil rights era blocked some roads.  They marched without being permitted to.  They broke other laws.  And (whether the law and order white crowd likes to acknowledge it or not), they were listened to more by those in power because they were a more palatable alternative to the riots and violence that was happening at the same time.  You may not want to take part in civil disobedience or violence, but do not condemn those who do.
  • You believe criticism of our nation is beyond reproach  You still cling to jingoistic clichés like “Support The Troops!” and “Back The Badge!” despite our military and law enforcement’s cozy relationship with white supremacist groups.  You are more angry about someone sitting down during the National Anthem than you are about police brutality and a military full of white supremacists fighting for the interests of multi-national corporations that are already subsidized by your tax dollars and pay little back to the country.  Do not care about a piece of cloth more than the values that cloth was supposed to have (but never really has) represented.  Do not care more about a song (that includes a verse about celebrating the killing of slaves) than your fellow people.  Do not care more about people not liking the President than all of the horrible and reprehensible things he does in your name.
  • You fight as if we don’t have bigger fish to fry This will piss a lot of people off.  But hey, that’s what I do best.  I’m sure you’ve heard the term “SJW” or “Social Justice Warrior”.  There is noting wrong with fighting for social justice.  There is nothing wrong with being a social justice warrior.  Except those who are often called social justice warriors, are anything but.  These are the people who take more issue with what colors are in the Pride Flag than they do with the fact that LGBTQ violence is at an all-time high.  They are the ones who probably took issue with the fact that I didn’t include an “I” and “A” after LGBTQ and whatever other letter they want added, while doing it all from the comfort of their Tumblr.  They believe their opinion of how things should be is fact, and do not attempt to persuade people why, just attack them for not saying the right thing.  In short, they turn potential allies away from movements.  When confronted with this, these are the type of people who will say that if they don’t say things the way they want said, or express their opinions in the manner they deem appropriate, they aren’t wanted or needed as allies anyway.  That is horseshit.  When blocking an intersection to make a point, I guarantee it is much more important to have 200 people than it is to have 20 people there.  With 20, a car can speed through the crowd (like what happened on Columbus Day in my hometown of Reno, NV) and injure people, and the person is likely going to get off with no jail time.  (Which is what happened.)  When 200 people are there, unless the guy wants a murder charge, he’s going to go around.  I’m not saying the Columbus Day protest turnout was low for this reason, but many protests are smaller than they could be because people are more concerned with the small stuff that can be worked out when people aren’t dying.  If a guy standing next to me at a Black Lives Matter protest is holding a sign with language I don’t agree with, but we are both there fighting for holding law enforcement to be held to the same standards as the rest of us, I am not about to take issue with his use of the words because he is there, fighting for the same thing I am.  If a woman at a Pride march is holding a sign that wants protection from discrimination against the LGBT community, and leaves off the Q, I, or A, or +, or whatever, I am still going to be glad she showed up.  If a person who believes that using the term Nazi for anyone with white supremacist ideologies (as Nazis are white supremacists, and white supremacists shouldn’t get to choose what they are called) without specifically calling them white supremacists is being called a bad ally by someone from their Facebook account, the person calling that person a bad ally needs to get the fuck over it and be glad someone is helping to fight their enemy.  For the record, I, personally, think white supremacy is evil, vile, and disgusting.  I know not all white supremacists identify as Nazis, and quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck how they want to identify.  Nazi does not mean National Socialist (it didn’t even back then, despite what Hitler wanted you to believe).  To me a Nazi is anyone with white supremacist beliefs, be they KKK, or Neo-Nazi skinheads, or whoever the fuck else group of inbred Nazi trash they claim to be.  So while you argue over the proper language, I will be out trying to make sure they are met with resistance when they try to intimidate and harm you and others.  This one is easy to fix.  Learn what an ally really is.  Understand that allies usually do not have the same tactics.  In fact, allies rarely even have the same ideology.  The allied countries in WWII did not share exactly the same views.  They did not share the same tactics.  In fact, they were very critical of each other’s tactics.  What made them allies was a common interest in defeating a common enemy.  Remember that, the next time you dare to say someone isn’t a good ally.

So what if I do think you suck at resisting, and specifically address the reasons why and what you can do about it?  If you disagree with me in whole or in part, you are still welcome as an ally, provided you are doing SOMETHING to resist this fascist system of oppression and injustice.  

 

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Why You Suck At Resisting, Part 1

And what you can do about it.

Hello dear reader(s)!

Are you part of the resistance?  If not, what the fuck are you doing here?  Have you read my posts?  When not talking about Pagan-type-stuff, I am probably going to be talking about how much I hate Nazi Trump and his loyal band of Nazi Republican Apologists or Nazi Republican Sympathizers and their overt Nazi base.

A lot of people claim to be anti-Trump, anti-fascist, and anti-racism, but really seem to do that purely for their social media.  Even many resistance groups, quite frankly, suck at resisting.

“Wait Josh, what makes you such an expert at resisting fascism and all the Trump Nazi Republican racist bullshit?” you might ask if you actually cared.

Well, I am not an expert at resisting.  However, I do consider myself to be an expert critic of things people do.  I tend to know exactly where people are fucking up, unless that person is me, but that is neither here nor there.

So without further adieu, which you should not hasten to bid me, provided of course you remember the Red River Valley, I present to you, for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, my ideas on Why You Suck At Resisting, and What You Can Do About it.  (Now in convenient list form, ask your doctor if it is right for you.)  (An attempt at humor to break the ice.)

  • You spread hate group propaganda  A certain Nazi publication started criticizing the victim of the Charlottesville terror attack.  Many, many pages and groups posted about it.  As well they should have.  That kind of bullshit needs to be called out.  However, they named the Nazi publication (giving it publicity), and linked to it (spreading their hateful message, and giving it click revenue).  When something is so blatantly full of lies and hate, it is not necessary to refute the points in it.  It is simply enough to say the Nazi scum are already trying (operative word:  trying) to tarnish the reputation of the victim of the horrific Nazi terror attack in Charlottesville.  No need to cite your source, anyone not already brainwashed by Nazis will believe you, and those who are brainwashed will think they are right.  This goes for refuting red-pill posts hating women, or any other thing that really doesn’t deserve to be heard.  Our media used to not even feature this ridiculousness, knowing the absurdity of allowing such bullshit to be heard, but ratings became too important so they used the cover of objective journalism to allow even the most insanely radical rantings to have their babbling amplified.  Everyone has the right to say something, not everyone has the right to be heard.  The media has failed at this and is losing trust because of it.  People are turning to the internet for their news.  Don’t fall into their trap.  Just say, these willfully ignorant people say horrible things that aren’t true and then spread the truth (with facts) of your own message.
  • You believe in the “many sides” argument  I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again.  The All Lives Matter crowd doesn’t really believe all lives matter.  They believe that maybe black lives do matter, but they don’t want to hear about it because they think that somehow takes away from the importance of their own lives.  But Black Lives Matter didn’t put the “Only” in front of black.  That “Only” exists only in the mind of the All Lives Matter crowd.  No All Lives Matter people are up in arms over the Nazis shouting, “White Lives Matter” in Charlottesville.  Where are the social media posts from those people condemning them?  You also think that ANTIFA is just as bad as the Nazis.  I get it, these groups inconvenience you sometimes.  They block the roads.  Not the precious roads!!!!  Who will think of the roads????  But people are getting shot and killed by racist cops who go free.  Companies are supporting the fascists until it is too inconvenient for their bottom line.  Corporations bribe our politicians to the point where Congressmen have openly said they do not work for the people they were elected to represent.  They shape the laws in the favor of their shareholders and only their shareholders.  These groups try the best they can to fight that, and all you can think about is how long the line at the place with that chicken you love but you know contributes to hate groups is going to be so you don’t miss your precious fucking television show.  Stop.  Make a fucking sacrifice.  The system you live in has a lot of people more uncomfortable than choosing a different place to eat every so often will ever make you.  Trying to find an alternate route to avoid people so desperate that they need to take to the streets is far less discomfort than way too many people feel under a fascist regime.  You could even show up in the streets to support them, but I wouldn’t dare to suggest that you make your life any more uncomfortable.
  • You continue to associate with your racist friends  When you post on Facebook that if someone supports the Nazis carrying the torches that they should unfriend you, and then you allow a friend to post a conspiracy theory from a known right-wing echo-chamber blaming whatever the fuck for the planned riot of Nazis in Charlottesville, you are allowing that person to not only continue believing their racist bullshit without consequence, but you are preventing them from realizing that those actions, while not overt, are still racism.  Any excuse, deflection, or argument that there are “many sides” to the planned riot from genocidal fucking NAZIS, is racism.  Sorry.  Delete, block, and do not talk to these people until they have changed their ways.
  • You laud companies with praise after public pressure FINALLY makes them do the right thing  GoDaddy is not heroic for finally refusing to continue hosting a known Nazi hate site once public pressure had been applied that they actually worry could affect their bottom line.  You’d have to live under a rock to not know what that site was all about.  When the SPLU lists it as a known hate group site, it is probably not a good idea to host it.  But it was financially convenient for them before.  Stop this.  Freedom of speech does not mean freedom of megaphone.  Companies do not have to allow hate group sites access to their servers.  They do it for money.  End of story.  Maybe it is too hard not to go to a hosting service that doesn’t host hate groups, but that doesn’t mean they deserve praise when they finally are FORCED to get rid of one.

If any of this offended you…good.  You probably need to be offended.  Put your money, time, and effort where your mouth is.

I would like you to think about these words from Martin Luther King, Jr.
“First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”

Part 2 is tomorrow.

Resisting, Phase 2

Hello dear revolutionary(s)!

You may or may not have heard about the piece of shit “Christian” from Montana who was just elected after committing assault on a journalist for daring to do his job.  You may or may not have heard that even before the assault, he said he wanted to get rid of Social Security because retirement was not biblical according to his fiction book said that Noah built an ark at the age of 600 and therefore it is okay to make laws based on that disproved line of bullshit.

Today, you may have heard about the governor of fucking Texas (Why don’t you just fucking secede already, since you think you’re better than everyone and you are your own fucking republic anyway?) made a “joke” (credible and dangerous threat) about shooting reporters.

The fascists are in power.

The House passage of the AHCA, the movement on Trump’s budget, Jeff Session’s for-profit drug war, and Trump cozying up with murderous dictators (even congratulating them on it) should show that fucking petitions, letters, and phone calls aren’t cutting it anymore.

The way we resist needs to change.

But what can we do short of armed insurrection?

Well, how about we as liberals and progressives quit living in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist?

The conservatives, the GOP, the NEW Soviet Union, and the inbred Trumpeters all would gladly watch our nation burn just to spite us, even if it means catching themselves on fire.  They control the government and use the insane laws we have been fighting to get changed in order to maintain it.  We have tried every single method to change those laws but to no avail.   Until we can change those laws, we need to take advantage.

We need to arm ourselves.   Train ourselves.   Form militias that can exist under the law the same ways their stupid fucking hate groups can.  Not to fight, but to prove we can.  It won’t take us long once we finally start taking advantage of how things are now before we are stronger than they are.  After all, we are not ignorant, inbred, hateful people who parade around in Cabella’s camo gear but couldn’t lift our AR-15’s to our shoulders because we are too exhausted from the all the moonpies, Whataburgers, and beer weighing our fat asses down.

We need to get on juries.  Quit trying to dodge them.  Get on those things, and if someone is up for a drug crime, we fucking acquit them.  If they seem as though they have an overworked public defender, we fucking acquit them.  If they are being accused of anything that you know you have done, or another person you know has done, we acquit them.  If them being incarcerated serves the private, for-profit prisons of Jeffyboy and his buddies, we acquit them.

We take advantage of the ridiculous “stand your ground” laws that we so despise.   We can change them when we win.  In the meantime, they are taking advantage of them against us.  George fucking cunt-ass Zimmerman is a hero to some of these Thugpublicans.  You’re a reporter from the Guardian and some Montana dickhead decides to assault you?  Well, maybe he had an iced tea and skittles on him.  How are you supposed to know?  I call shooting him self-defence.  He came at you.

They pushed these laws on us to bring “frontier justice” to our doors.  We can’t bury our heads in the sand and pretend they are not fighting against us anymore.  They want the Wild West, they can live the consequences too.  These laws are being used to kill the poor.  The minorities.   The free press.  The liberals and progressives.

Only because we want peace.

But when someone is literally trying to kill you, closing your eyes and choosing not to participate just gets you killed.

It’s not time to revolt.  Yet.

We don’t commit the crimes.

We don’t need to.

We don’t want to give the fascists an excuse to “crack down” and send out the badge-holding goons to quell anything.

But we need to quit pretending we can ignore the armies being formed against us.  The government endorsed acts of terror.  The stealing away of our fundamental rights.

There is a war being fought against us.   The fastest way to lose a war is to surrender.

Good day and good luck.

 

 

Fate

Hello dear reader(s)!

It has been a fortnight or so since last I posted.  I fear that my dear reader(s) may be vexed by lack of consistency and so I have therefore chosen to fall upon the sword of my shame rather than argue the valid points as to why my posting has not been up to the high standards I know that my dear reader(s) deserve.  I humbly apologize and beg the forgiveness of my dear reader(s), and hope they do not cast me into blog-type-thinging exile.

Alright, so now that I got that bullshit out of the way, let me ask y’all a question…

Do you motherfuckers dear reader(s) believe in fate?

I do.

Kind of.

Lemme explain.  No there is too much.  Lemme sum up.*

I think fate takes you only so far.  I believe you create your own fate.  I believe you help create the opportunities and bizarre alignments that one would call fate.  Sometimes you do it through thought.  Sometimes through intent.  Sometimes through action.  Sometimes by stepping back and doing nothing at all.  Sometimes you just need to put something out of your mind so you can recognize it when it lands right at your foot door.  Of course, usually the only thing that lands at your front door is a shitty local newspaper’s promotional copy, but that is neither here nor there.

So you’re going along, minding your own business, when suddenly you notice some sort of fated event.  Say, I don’t know… someone you know of with something major you have in common likes a comment you made on a local news story… and the next thing you know you’re connecting on a very deep level but all of these things had to align at the right time and in the right order to allow that connection.  That’s just an example.  I do not know about anything like that, honest.  But let’s just say that happens…then what?

Well, you don’t fucking make fate do all the work.  Fate has brought you to a point.  The rest is up to you.   You must now continue the effort to make the fates continue to align.

Opportunities do occasionally come up.  Are you going to be brave enough to seize them?  As an example, fate has given you the opportunity to read this post today.  Are you brave enough to read all the way through, like, share, and comment?  You owe it to fate!

Fate is awesome.  I am a big believer in fate.  I have seen too many strange things happen to produce too many things that seemed to be impossible or were simply exactly what should be at the time they came to pass in order to discount it.  So it is always going to be three easy payments of $49.99, no matter who is advertising a similar product for less, sorry.  No discounts.

But I also believe in myself, in energy, in magic, and in effort.  Once you recognize the existence of fate, you will recognize the opportunities it presents.  But you still have to do something with those opportunities if they lead to what you desire.  In doing so, you create more ways for fate to align for you.  No matter how badly your local area maintains their roads, if you put in the work, your fate will stay in alignment without dealing with mechanics and their ridiculous shop fees and attempts to upsell you on parts and services you don’t need.

When you go about your day today, pay attention.  Try to see if fate is sending you a message.  Look for the opportunities that fate provides.  Then don’t just sit there watching fate flashing in your face like a sick fucker who gets off on showing their junk to unsuspecting people in public.  Do something about it!  Take fate and run with it.  Unless Fate is the name of a stripper or something, in which case let Fate come to you.  Kidnapping strippers is not good, Bob.

Fate is calling to you.  So let her out of your trunk, Bob.

*Stolen shamelessly from the Princess Bride.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Not To Creep

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are like many people, you have or currently do desire someone and may be worried about expressing that desire without being seen as a giant, disgusting creep.  Even if that statement has never applied to you, you may want to continue reading because it likely applies to someone who has or currently does desire you, and then you can use this to identify and head off the creeps in your life.  Heading off a creep can prevent the need to take the heads off creeps, which is much more favored by the legal system.

Despite what many fedora wearing neckbeards who think they are nice and call women m’lady believe, it is possible to express desire for someone without being a creep.  Despite what many desperate single ladies believe, it is possible to attract someone without sending random suggestive pics to their target’s phones.

So here is my helpful guide for those who desire someone to express that desire without being a creep.  If you are the person with the desire, you can use these helpful tips to help ensure you’re not creepy.  If you are someone who suspects someone in your life may be a creep, you can see if they are doing the opposite of these tips to help you reach the proper verdict.

Without further adieu, let’s begin, shall we?

  1. Do not be married or in a serious relationship (unless you are ethically poly)  Unless papers are filed, you are not available.  If you were serious about leaving the situation you were in, you wouldn’t need to set up the next one before you did so.  Conversely, if someone else is married or in a serious relationship, they are not going to be open to your advances, and if they are, you can bet your ass you’re going to get burned when someone else advances on them.  Hopefully for you, when you do get burned it doesn’t result in any actual burning sensations, but you will have brought that on yourself.
  2. Remember that friendship entitles to you to nothing  Most of my best friends are of the opposite sex.  And sometimes that closeness leads to an attraction.  Or sometimes they are just my type of people.  But being there for them when they are going through a rough time is not license for me to send dick pics.  I’ve said before that sometimes friends become lovers.  I have said it is okay to be attracted to a friend.  But if you can’t handle only being friends with that person, well, you never were.  And flirting a little (something I find totally acceptable) is much different from sexually harassing.   If you need any help figuring out the difference, you probably should not be attempting to flirt, because you are going to suck at it.
  3. Pay attention  Is the one you desire responding to your flirting?  Great, you are flirting.  No?  Then stop.  If you do not, I guarantee you are being a creep.  Sometimes, no matter how much you want the person you desire to desire you, they don’t.  It can hurt.  If it angers you, or you feel as though they betrayed you because you were friendly to them…you are not a friend and can’t claim to care about them.  You are a creep.  A person being nice to you is not leading you on.  Now if that person tells you they’re going to let you stick your ____ in their ____ while singing The Star Spangled Banner as you squeeze their ____ and then suddenly cancels at the last minute, only to set something up again to cancel and so on…  Maybe then you can think they’re leading you on.
  4. Escalate slowly  Let’s say you are flirting and they seem to be receptive.  Have you ever considered that some flirt without intention?  You don’t want to go from cute little signals and a comfort talking about intimate things, right to talking about making them your personal basement slave without a clear path to that point.  That can scare people off and make them think you are trying to get them to put the lotion in the basket.
  5. Be confident  Don’t open with a whine about your desperation.  Nobody wants to receive a gift nobody else could give away.  Yes, you are hungry.  Yes, you want to do things to that person that could lead to a police visit if your neighbors misunderstand the sounds being made, yes you want that person to understand your desire for them is intense.  But saying you need affection or sex is not only signalling your desperation, it is assuming theirs.  This is the single biggest difference between the “nice guys” and “nice girls”, and the people who can actually spark attraction.  The “nice” people don’t understand that unless you believe what you offer is worth something, nobody else will either.  And then, when they are rejected you suddenly see they are not so nice at all.  Making them the jerks they think people go for when they actually just go for those who know their worth.

To summarize, if you don’t want to be considered a creep, quit fucking acting like a creep.  This isn’t hard.

I think everyone has said or done something that may have pushed the line.  But pushing a line and pulling back if it seems like you could cross it is something that people should be able to do.  If you don’t, you’re a fucking creep Cindy, and you need to back the fuck off and follow the rules of the restraining order and quit fucking driving by my house and sending me messages after I blocked your ass.

The N-Word

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think it is ever appropriate to use the N-word?  I do.  In fact, I think we all need to use the word more often.  I don’t think that we need to be as afraid of the word as we are.  I think I am going to use it right now.

No.

See?  That wasn’t so hard, was it?  Let’s do it again!

No.

What word did you think I meant?

That word?  Are you fucking crazy?!?!  I’m not using that word.  I was talking about the word “No”.  It starts with “N” too.  And we don’t use it enough.

It is okay to say no.  It really is.

Sometimes people ask you do something you are not comfortable doing.  You say yes, because you don’t want to seem rude.  You need to say no.  Sometimes people ask you to do something that you may not be capable of doing, or that you will not do your best.  Sometimes your boss wants you to take on an extra project and you’re already buried with your job and maybe some other extra thing you did.  It is okay to say no.  I mean, you might not want to to just say, “No.”, but you can say, “You know I already have this going, I’m waiting on (Insert someone slowing you down) over in Receivables to sign off so I can cut this and I am already taking on (Someone else’s thing that you decided to help out with), so I do not think I will be able to get to that in the time and quality it deserves, you may want to see if someone else can handle it.  And at that point, your boss may tell you to do it anyway, and that is when you can negotiate on moving other things around, giving you more time, or more money.  But if you just said, “Okay.”, you would be kinda fucked right now, huh?

I’ve actually been on kind of the opposite kick lately.  Especially when someone offers some fun time or experience, I have been challenging myself to say yes more often.  As long as I think I am capable, I have been saying yes to offers to go hang out, or have a party, or other fun experiences.  Even if it is something that may not be what I know I like, I have been saying yes in order to experience more and try more things.   It has been a lot of fun.  But I always reserve the right to say no.  The past few days, I have had that horrible sinus issue.  It is quite a bit better today, fortunately, but if anyone would have asked me to go hang out, I would have said no.  I wouldn’t have felt bad about it.  I get tired, and I need to take care of myself, especially when I am sick.

“No” needs to be respected.  Consent applies to everything.  It isn’t just about sex.  When someone says no, we need to understand that there is nothing wrong with the person who is saying it.  No, they may not want to go drinking.  No, they may not feel up for having sex that night.  No, they may just want to stay home and take care of themselves.  No, they might have accidentally fallen down a flight of stairs and really need you to come take them to the hospital but hopefully in that case they say would say more than “no”.  They do not owe us an explanation, although it can certainly be nice, especially if they need a ride to the hospital rather than whatever you asked them to do.

And “no” needs to be said.  Do not tell someone “sure” when you really mean “no”.  Do not make plans with someone you have no intention of keeping.  Things do come up.  I know.  I am a person who regularly says “yes” to things and later has to cancel because of some health concern.  I hate that.  My friends understand that it comes with me due to my issues.  But when I say “yes”, I always intend it to be “yes”.  I never say “yes” when I know it will become a “no”.

So get out there!  Use the N-word!  “No”!  Not the other one, geeze, did you even read this?  Don’t go use the other one.  Say “No”!

 

 

 

Lessons I’ve Learned/Remembered

‘ello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for my lack of posting yesterday, but for much of the day I was out doing this strange and exciting thing called having fun.  It has been so long, I almost forgot what it was like.  Today, I plan to also have fun.  I am hoping that two days of fun in a row will not be too much for me to handle.  I didn’t have that headache yesterday.  I did end up with a different one, that was much more manageable, but I know exactly why that headache occurred, and it was not a big deal.  So far today, there is no headache either.  The songs of praise are already being written for this miraculous miracle for all of my mankind unto our blessed Josh.

Now, anyone who reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis is likely deeply troubled, but that is not important here.  But anyone who regularly reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis knows that I do not place much stock in making changes at the new year.  However, sometimes events conspire to change things, and to change you.  If they coincide with the new year, then resistance is futile, and all your base are belong to us.  Turn and face the change.  Changes aren’t permanent, but change is.  All that.

This year has been fucking odd so far.  Like really, really strange.  But in a good way.  I have learned some things about people, about myself, and I have remembered some of the things that hard times have made me forget.  I am damn optimistic in my ability to survive this world and the people in it, without becoming that which I hate in order to so.  3 days and one morning in, and it is like I am a new person.  But I am not a new person, I am the person I used to be when I knew myself, plus a few bits of knowledge the past few experiences have taught me.

And now, direct from Missouri, in genuine text, I will share with you, for your entertainment, education, and enlightenment, the things I have learned and remembered already this year.

  1. I have value, whether others see it, or not  To some, the issues I bring with me may make some decide that I am not worth the positive things I bring as well.  Those people do not belong in my life, because I know my worth.  If their priorities are not in line with mine, then they likely are not the people who will meet the requirements I have either.  I am a motherfucking catch, and I know it by the smiles I bring to those in my presence.  That is worth a lot.
  2. I can’t forget to trust my instincts  If something doesn’t feel right, as if there are things left unsaid, I need to pay attention to that.  No matter how plausible the excuse, no matter how empathetic I want to be to people.  If I suspect there is more to the story, I must listen in order to protect myself.
  3. Lies by omission are just as bad as any other lie  And dishonesty is not something I can tolerate in someone, no matter how I once felt.
  4. I can not base my happiness on others  I create my own happiness, and in doing so, others might come to it naturally, or they might not, but it doesn’t matter as much because I am still happy.
  5. Closure is not always available  And it is not always necessary.  There are still lessons I can learn from anything without having an explanation of exactly what happened.  The residual hurt, anger, or other feelings do not always need to be shared.
  6. Friends who listen and are available without motive are the best friends one can have  Thank you to those who I have talked to for years, and to those who I have only recently began talking with.  Your advice, and just knowing someone cared when a few things came down on me at the same time helped me get through.  I will not forget.
  7. Never commit to someone who isn’t committed to me  As much as I do not believe people are options, until I am someone’s priority, it is foolish to make them mine.
  8. As wonderful as connection over distance can still be, there is no substitute for a real in-person connection  Or a few, as the case may be.
  9. Life is meant to be lived  No more putting myself on hold for possibilities.  No more hoping for things that do not present themselves.  Have fun, and fun will be had.
  10. Not everyone who hurt me is a bad person  In fact, most people aren’t.  They have different priorities, different needs, different ideas of how to communicate with maturity.  And therefore, if they belong with anyone, it is a different person.

These sound awfully relationshippy, don ‘t they?  Well, they are.  I still believe that our relationships are what make life worth living.  They do not always need to romantic.  They do not always need to be sexual.  They do not always need to be conventional.  They simply need to be fulfilling and anything that isn’t, is not worth your time and heartache.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my dear reader(s), I am off to build a few more relationships.