Ritual Writing

‘Ello dear reader(s)!

So I’m writin’ a bit of a Beltaine ritual, see yeah, and I got me a bit of an issue…

My mind is clouded by something else.   I am excited to do this here ritual, but my mind is definitely elsewhere.  Every time I try to focus, the thoughts are just piercing through like needles through flesh.

Anyway, the other big problem is that the participants in this here ritual are of many different paths in the whole pagan umbrella, so I am doing my best to keep it as friendly as can be to all, while still maintaining some element of the spiritual.

Speaking of which, did you know that a pagan umbrella is really great for keeping your clothes dry?  I didn’t even know umbrellas really have beliefs, so that came as a shock to me too.

My path is so eclectic, that I know I will be incorporating different bits of my favorites.  Some of the stricter followers of opposing paths may be put off by those, but I will try to include a bit of others to balance.   Some might think I am appropriating their practices, and they would be right.  Given that no definitive proof of any of these specific practices exist to ancient times, anyone who wants to lay claim to one thing or another is full of shit.  Every culture, every path, has certain ways of practicing.  So if they have an issue with it, they can suck it.

The group I am writing this ritual for is not a coven, and really hasn’t done rituals in the past.  We just gather to celebrate the Sabbats and talk with people of similar mindsets.  However, there have been enough requests for something, that I have chosen to volunteer.  I am still, slightly nervous about offending.

Of course, every one of every path there will be welcome, and I hope nobody feels compelled.  I think I will disclaim that anything they do not like they can be silent for if they still want to participate, or can decide not to participate at all if they so choose.  No judgment will be made, because we all know that isn’t our place.

I need to hurry up and get this done, so that I can send an advance copy onto the group administrator to ensure the racy innuendos aren’t too racy, and there is nothing too obvious that would offend the participants or the non-participants.

But I just can’t right now.  My thoughts can’t stay focused.  It’s as if my mind is tied open, waiting for the thoughts that keep invading my head to torture me once more.   Burning, searing into my consciousness.

Fucking Spring.

Yes, I Do Spells

Hello dear reader(s)!

Welcome to another exciting edition of MyFridayBlog™!  As some of you dear reader(s) may or may not be aware, I consider myself to be a solitary, eclectic pagan.  I also consider myself to be a witch*, which (I just got to say witch which) I am sure sounds weird to a lot of people reading this, but I believe isn’t weird at all.  I think anyone with a healthy sense of empathy who actually buys into the notion that everything is connected on some level is close to becoming a witch, the only steps remaining is to actually practice the craft and to call oneself a witch.  At any rate, people unfamiliar with witches hear that and tend to scoff.  As soon as I say it, they usually ask one of two questions:

  1. So you worship Satan?  No, I don’t even believe in Satan.  And don’t give me the crap about Satan leading me astray by claiming that anything else I do worship is Satan in disguise.  I know that what I “worship” isn’t your evil (Or was he?  Well, that’s a different post.) rebel angel in your book I do not take any stock in.
  2. So, what do you do spells?  Yep.  Sure do.  Fairly often, even.  And I believe they help.

Now they think I’m insane.  I would like to know why.  What makes my spells so much crazier than your prayer?  Nothing.  Your belief in your God, and your disbelief in anything else is the only thing that makes mine seem crazier to you.  It is less accepted by the people in this culture.  That’s it.

Most of my spells involve candle magic.  It’s really my favorite.  Have you ever been to a Catholic church?   See all those candles?

Now let me make this absolutely clear:  I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE, so long as you are not trying to infringe upon my beliefs or rights using those beliefs as an excuse.  I am not trying to convert anyone.  I like that generally, when I meet other witches and pagans, I am meeting people who are fairly like-minded and were not pressured into their respective paths.  So this quick explanation of my particular path is particular to me, and is not in any way an attempt to get people to believe as I do.  It is merely to explain to you that I am not crazy, or any crazier than anyone else with a belief system that hasn’t been scientifically proven.  It is also to show that I am not evil.  At least not for what I believe.

Let’s start with those spells.  To me, on my eclectic, solitary path, spells are nothing more than ultra-focused meditation.  Often in any type of meditation, the person fails because they are too focused on whether or not it is working.  In my spells, I am focused on the steps.  The circle I cast, the words I use, the candles I light, and any other specific steps I follow.  Unlike prayer, I do not ask my deities for things.  I ask my deities to help me obtain things myself.  Or if I am doing it for someone else, to help them.  As I watch the flame of the candle, I create pictures in my mind of what it will be like when I have successfully achieved what I want.  And once the spell is over, I’m relaxed, thinking clearly, and a million new ideas are forming on how to achieve something I may have been stuck on prior.  I also happen to believe that just putting it out there helps it come back to you, and that I can manipulate the energy around me to making things easier to happen, but I understand that isn’t exactly rational.  But not everything is.  I mean, Trump is President.

Now for the deities.  I do not believe in one God.  Well, I kind of do, in that my God is energy.  But to me, there are two distinct sides to that God.  That makes that God into two.  A feminine Goddess and a masculine God.  Sort of a yin-yang.  A positive and negative.  A light and dark.  Even matter has that duality.  A lot of my fellow pagans have more than the two.  Or they name them and have all kinds of different representations.  I don’t, but it certainly doesn’t bother me if their path is different.  So my Goddess and God are simply energy, and even calling them a Goddess and God are merely representations of that energy.  I do believe in the triple Goddess, maiden, mother, crone.  Just as different stages of that energy tied to time.  I believe time, and seasons, and all of the changes in light and energy can be used for planning things in your life just as farmers used the seasons to plant crops.  I believe being in tune with that energy of the natural world helps make life easier.

I believe that you can on occasion read the energy around you to divine what may be coming.  Again, not exactly rational, and I am aware of this.

Can you prove your belief system?  Even atheists can only prove up to a point.

I believe in other realms.  Many scientists believe in a multiverse.  This isn’t really that much of a stretch.

I believe in science.  I go to doctors.  I take medicine.  I think nothing that I believe that hasn’t been proven is fact, but it works for me.  Nature is my church, and natural energy is my deities.

There is so much more to my path.  I can’t go into it all on one post, or in one year.  But this is a basic run-down of what I believe.  It is simply to show you that my beliefs are no crazier than other beliefs that rely on what can’t be proven, so that when you see the pentacle around my neck, you won’t think I am some dangerous person.

But the main part of my path I want you to think about is this:  An it harm none, do what ye will.  I try very hard to live by that.  So no ritual sacrifice, no stoning people…none of that.  I do not hold as strictly to it as some, because if harming someone is the only way to protect myself from life-threatening harm, you can bet that goes out the window.  If you understand that is what I believe, maybe you won’t think I am such a threat to you and your beliefs.

*Male witches are witches, not warlocks.  Warlocks are traitors.  


Merry Mabon

Hello dear reader(s)!

Last night at sunset, I began the celebration of Mabon.  You may know it as Autumn or Fall.  Regardless of what you call it, we are officially entering my favorite time of year.  The Autumnal Equinox for me was at about 7 this morning, but Mabon goes from sunset yesterday to sunset today on my path.  Today is a day for balance, and for celebrating the harvest (since I am not a farmer, it means showing gratitude for all the work I have put in to get me where I am today, and gratitude for the light that allowed the food to grow that will sustain me through the winter, even if I am buying it from a store.)  In addition to celebrating and being thankful for where I am in life today, I will begin working (although not too hard, it is a day of balance) on preparing for my upcoming move.

As I celebrate, I reflect on all that has happened this year.  My health and strength have seemed to improve somewhat.  Not to where I can consider myself healthy, but to where I am feeling less ill than I have since prior to my diagnosis.  I have been through countless appointments, taken awful medication, and just physically put in the work to make this happen.  I am thankful for all that has allowed me to feel close to human on more days than for quite some time now.  I have forged friendships that led to me meeting new people, including my beloved Luna.  I have traveled and made preparations to begin a new life where I may stand a chance of being able to have a life close to some kind of independence, surrounded by those who raise my energy.  I have cast aside much of what no longer serves me.

I am moving within days.  It is by total coincidence that I will be arriving during the upcoming Lunar eclipse.  The blood moon.  A day I believe is good for new beginnings.  Although, as I walk further along my path, I wonder if perhaps it is no coincidence at all.  As I started paying attention to the natural universe, it seems as though the natural universe has been paying more attention to me.

Who knows?  Who cares?  I’m no zealot.  I’m happy today.  That’s the point.  Life is going well, and I am taking the time to celebrate it and reflect on it.

After I move, I get to start all the wonderful Fall activities I love so much.  The things that I like to do that make me feel more connected to the world.  I am going to go to at least one pumpkin patch.  I can’t wait to carve jack-o-lanterns to go out front of the new house.  I am going to go to at least one corn maze.  I am going to go pick apples.  I am going to go to a haunted house.  I guess they rule in Kansas City.  Not an actual haunted house, but you know, the kind that are set up to scare people for fun.  I am going to drink hot apple cider and eat pumpkin treats.  I am going to take walks in the leaves where it is not too hot.  I am going to celebrate Samhain next month and talk to Hannah when the veil is thin.  I am going to celebrate my friend’s birthday.  I am going to celebrate my own birthday.

There is a lot of terrible things going on in the world right now.  Many of it is done in the name of religions and strict interpretations thereof, that brainwash their followers into believing that not only is their God the one true God, but that the particular interpretation of what their God wants is the one and true interpretation.  Then some take it a step further and push the belief that anyone who does not follow their God, or their specific interpretation of their God is evil and must be destroyed.  Not only that, but they push people into attempting to destroy the people their God is either unwilling or incapable of destroying himself.

Regardless of what you do or do not believe, I think it is time all of us understand that attempting to force people into believing in your God isn’t doing anyone any good, including your God.  Your violence in the name your God turns people from him.  Whether you believe it is your God, or my Goddess and God, or nothing but happy coincidence in the way particles combine, I think we can all agree that we are blessed to have the gifts of the seasons, the sunlight, the streams and rivers, the plants and trees, the weather, and the chance to attempt to create the happiest life here on this blue rock in space that we can.  Whether you set aside days to do it or not, how about we appreciate the gifts that either the divine or science bestow on all of us, and quit trying to fuck it up for us all over petty arguments about who gave us the gift?  Give thanks to whatever you believe by appreciating the gifts given while you can.

Merry Mabon, Happy Fall, Happy Autumn, and Happy Spring for those of you in the Southern Hemisphere.

Blessed Be.





Eye Warship Satin

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you know I worship Satan?  Neither did I.  But apparently I do, according to many Christians.  Which is just amazing to me considering I don’t even believe in Satan.  It is really hard to worship something you don’t believe in.  For example, one time I was with this really dominant woman who I just didn’t trust or believe in at all and…  Well, that is a story for a different blog-type-thing, but let’s just say I did not worship her, despite her demands.

Anyway, a lot of Christian type-people believe that I am a Satan worshiper.  I guess it is because I am not Christian.  If I worshiped Satan, I would hate them as Christians, but I don’t.  I hate them for being closed-minded assholes who call me a Satan worshiper.

What I am is a Pagan.

And I am very happy being a Pagan.  This path chose me, and I like being on it.  You may think I am crazy for it, and you’re probably right.  I don’t care.  I’m not looking to convert anyone.  In fact, I like my circles small.  This path chose me, just under a year ago, although the basics have always been inside.  I don’t try to bring people to my path.  It is mine.  Get your own damn path.  Or don’t.  Whatever.

So this is not one of those posts to explain to people what I believe and what I do not.  Except to say that I am not evil, and I do not worship Satan.  I’m not out there sacrificing animals or babies.  I’m not going to go into your neighborhood and paint symbols all over your property.  I respect your God and your right to believe in it/him/her/cow/etc. until that belief infringes on my right to believe as I choose.

Now, I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking, “Why I am reading this?”

Actually, what I imagine you are thinking right now is, “What is the point of all this inane babbling?”  And maybe you are.  Or maybe it is Satan whispering in my ear despite not believing in him/her/it/cow/etc.  Well, I am glad I imagined you asked.

Because if you’re a friend of mine, you’ve probably noticed all my Facebook posts recently.  You’ve probably noticed how I speak in the terms that come closest to expressing how I view things and how the language of everyday interactions with me has probably changed.  You’ve probably noticed the spells I have posted to remind myself to think of when I need to feel that things are going to be okay.  Or when I feel like I may be involved in something a lot bigger and more important than this single little life.  You may have noticed that I seem to be slightly more at peace when I am not totally freaking out over potential health issues and even when I am, those freak outs last less time and are usually less severe.  You may have even noticed a certain kind of thematic difference in some of my blog posts.  An explanation of things I have felt my whole life but never knew how to word until recently.  And you probably look at it and think I am delusional.

Cool.  Maybe I am.  I could very well be delusional, or mentally ill in more ways than just my PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

But as some dude named Jiddu Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”  (Some dude is his official title, before you all go and get mad at me for being disrespectful.  No, I am lying, it isn’t.  But still no disrespect intended or else I wouldn’t be quoting him, now would I?)

My path matters to me.  Is it illogical?  Of course it is.  Some logic could be applied to the overall concepts, but logically for some of the other things?  I’m not that stupid.

But if it isn’t hurting anyone, can’t it be nice to believe in the illogical?  If it provides someone comfort in such a hateful, awful society, should I care if you don’t like my beliefs?  Well, whether I should or not doesn’t matter because I don’t.  The best thing about my path is this:

“An it harm none, do what ye will.”

I’ve talked about that before.  You don’t have to believe as I do for that to make a profound impact on your life and on the lives of people in general.

You like crystals?  Cool.  You like this kind of music?   Cool, I don’t, but as long as you’re not forcing me to listen what do I care?  You like monogamy?  Cool.  You like polyamory?  Cool.  You like tea?  I don’t get it, but fine.  Don’t force me to drink a cup.  You like having lots of sex?  Great!  Call me. (Just kidding, I am not really looking at this time.)  You don’t?  Great, call me to hang out platonically.  You like to shoot people?  NOT FUCKING COOL.  Get it?  You like to tell people you are sending healing energy their way or are sending a spell when they ask for thoughts and prayers?  Cool.  And if they don’t want it, fine.  You go outside and talk to the trees sometimes?  So do I.  Don’t call the mental institution people, I am not a danger to myself or others.  You like Tarot?  I think it’s pretty neat.  Whether or not I actually believe the cards are a conduit to the Goddess and God (in my case) really doesn’t matter.

The great part about this particular and extremely important part of my path, is that for this one, you don’t have to be Pagan at all.

Because chances are, if you believe in any God at all, you can have faith that your God will have things covered in whatever afterlife you believe in.  Your God might even make mention that it’s not your fucking place to judge as imperfect as your punk-ass is.

And if you don’t believe in any God?  You can still take this to heart.  Change the wording if you need to.  Try “I’m not hurting anyone, and neither are you, so I’m not going to be a judgmental prick.”

Blessed Be, my friends.



While people all over the nation freak out about a made-up war on Christianity and the “Islamization of America” I think it is important to keep in mind that in 2014 (the last full year), a full 71% of Americans considered themselves to be Christian.  Apparently, a war is being fought against these 71% of residents by a group of other religious or non-religious people with sometimes conflicting ideologies against the poor wittwe Christian supermajority.  A majority so large, it could override a veto if applied to government.

When I hear Trump on national television telling people that a protester at one of ze rallies he held “deserved to get roughed-up”, I think about this supposed war.  When I hear him and his fellow Christian fascists and Republican candidates call for registration and identification of Muslims, I think about this supposed war.  When I hear Mike Huckabee talk about a “secular agenda”, or Kim Davis denying the law of the land, and not being fired and imprisoned for a genuine amount of time, I think about this supposed war.  Whenever I hear anyone say the United States is a Christian nation, despite all evidence and implicit documents to the contrary, I think about this supposed war.  When I think about the Christian fascists who would scapegoat an entire people or belief system for the actions of a few, I think about this supposed war.  When I think about the parallels the Muslims are facing now in comparison to what the Jews faced before Kristallnacht and the actual Holocaust, I think about this supposed war.  When I think about how I am not a Christian, and in-fact, not a believer in any of the Abrahamic religions, I think about this supposed war.

And every time I hear the rhetoric that the 71% of people in this nation are under attack by a threat of non-believers in their particular version of their God, I think about this supposed war.  I think about how Adolf Hitler and Joseph Goebbels tried to make the Jews the scapegoat for all of Germany’s problems before sending so many to their deaths.  I think of the slow erosion of rights, the way the people were taught to dehumanize them, and the eventual complicit genocidal hate that emerged from almost an entire nation.  I think about Hitler’s rise from being a joke to being a total dictator.  I then look at Donald Trump’s lead in the polls.

“I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord..” – Adolf Hitler

Does this sound very different from the rhetoric being spewed against Muslims and any non-Christian today?

Trump doesn’t scare me, Trump’s supporters and his willingness to incite them does.  As a non-Christian, I am waiting for the day I have to defend myself from religious persecution.  My belief system has been associated with Satanism, even though we flatly do not believe in Satan other than it being a creation of the Christian church.  Hard to worship someone you don’t believe exists.  My beliefs have been associated with all kinds of things that never happened.  The symbols associated with my beliefs have been either co-opted by the Christians for easier conversion, or stolen and turned on their heads to associate those of the people who believe as I do with worshipers of an evil we don’t even believe is real.

Right now though we aren’t the main target.  The peaceful Muslims throughout the world and especially here in the Untied States are.  When masked armed men are allowed to intimidate people who are trying to worship in peace at their local mosque, the war is not on Christianity.  I’m sure it is a small percentage of that 71% though that are doing this.

Terrorists suck.  Whether they are terrorists killing in the name of a Muslim God, or terrorists like Timothy McVeigh or the KKK…they are all pieces of shit.  Anybody who would target innocent people just trying to live their lives instead of going after those who pose a legitimate threat is a piece of shit.  Anybody who really believes that people who live in a geographic region have any control over what their governments and their nations’ military-industrial complexes do is either ignorant or idiotic.

I do not blame the average Palestinian child for the Hamas backed rocket launches.  I do not blame the Israeli woman for the fact that her government has decided to bomb heavily populated areas because some assholes launched rockets.  And I don’t blame the kids on the beach for the power-hungry assholes launching those rockets.  I don’t blame the Muslims for ISIS.  I don’t blame the French for having a government that tries to stop them.  I don’t blame the regular church going Christians for just living their lives.  I don’t blame the non-Christians for doing the same.

I do blame the people trying to use religion, race, fear, and violence to increase their power.  And I don’t care what religion or race that it is.

So let’s just cut the crap.  Leaders of the world, who would use these things for your own gain; people who believe them and would kill for it; people who hate that which is different:  How about you all get together in some desolate field somewhere?  Have it out.  Do whatever the fuck you want to each other.  My guess is that you are far less than 71% of the world’s population.  Have your pissing match over which God is better, which race is better, which way of life is better, and anything else you feel the need to fight over.  Do it, wipe each other out, and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

We’ll be busy realizing their is no war on anyone’s belief systems except where you all are fighting.  We’ll be welcoming people.  We’ll be using all the money we put into making war into taking care of each other, and advancing the cause of peace and understanding.

You go on killing each other, just leave us out of it.


The More Than 71% of people who don’t want any part in the wars you claim.


Yule List

Hello dear reader(s)!

Why a Yule list?  Because I am proud to be one of those people who would fail a religious test from the conservative Christians, that’s why.  Might as well start calling my innate belief system’s celebrations by their proper names. Besides, who wants frankincense and myrrh?  (I will take the gold, however.)

So despite the fact that it is not yet Thanksgiving, and since Yule is actually a few days earlier than the Christmas holiday, I thought I would give my dear reader(s) proper time to prepare the bounty of gifts they will bestow upon me.

If you think I’m being greedy here, please remember I don’t actually expect anyone to get me anything and am making this list for your entertainment only.  (I would add education and enlightenment as usual, but this list won’t do those.  It might not even entertain.)

So now, my dear reader(s), I present to you, in all the glory of the season and this blog-type-thing…my Yule List.

  1. For Riki Lindhome to quit bothering me.  Look, I know I said I liked you and wanted you for my birthday, but I’ve moved on from my celebrity crush on you.  So please, just leave me alone now.  Don’t show up on my suggested YouTube videos anymore.  I tried telling you it was over.  I didn’t want to have to unsubscribe, and won’t…if you can keep your obvious lust for me out of your uploads.
  2. Religious tests.  That’s right, I want religious tests.  And by that, I mean anyone who seeks to exclude another person from anything based on their religion, should be tested on their religion to ensure they actually grasp it, it’s history, it’s contradictions, and all interpretations thereof.  In other words, if you only go for the most exclusionary of your religious words while ignoring the other ones…you fail and cannot hold office or any position of influence.
  3. Crepes and scones.  Every single morning.  They can alternate…it doesn’t have to be both.  I can help, and I’ll make the coffee.  I make a great coffee.  That’s one of the most fascinating things about me.
  4. To meet ISIS.  Not the terrorist organization, I’m talking about the spies in Archer.  That would crack me up.
  5. To see all of my favorite comedians live.  I don’t need them to be in body-pillow form.
  6.  A lifetime supply of Axe body spray.  To defend against terrorists or bears.  Or terrorist bears.  Or those who terrorize bears.  But if the bears were terrorizing the terrorists, I would not Axe them.
  7. Voice lessons.  Because I’m scaring the cats with my singing.  And the dogs next door.  And small children in China.  (I only picked China because it is far away.  So take your outrage somewhere else.)
  8. To finish my novel and start on my memoir.  And sell a billion copies of each.  And donate half of my earnings to the Fred Hutchison Cancer Research center while still having enough to travel the globe and live comfortably, but not too opulently because I’m not douchey like that.
  9. To punch Ted Cruz in his arrogant fucking face, legally.  I’m thinking like a sanctioned boxing match or something.  Maybe Ultimate Fighting.  It could be billed as the War On Christianity and we could put it on pay-per-view.  We’d both make a lot of money.  Comcast, Ted…have your people contact my people and we’ll work it out.  My people are me, by the way.
  10. Happiness to all.  Yeah, because deep down, I think a lot of you would be less dick-ish if you were happier.  Specifically you, Mr. Blogger who may or may not have quit but I was going to unfollow anyway since lately your hateful, bigoted views and sanctimonious preaching started to take over what was just a fun little blog.  I wish you happiness, or maybe a Snickers bar.  Because you’re not yourself when you’re hangry.

What about you, dear reader(s)?  Do you have a wishlist for this season?  Do you want a wishlist for this season?  I might be willing to let mine go, if you’re interested.  Just have your people contact my people and we can work out the terms and compensation.  Again, my people are me.


An Open Letter to Hard-Core Atheists

Your hatred of religion and the religious borders on the same delusions as fundamentalist believers.  Your belief that only your way of viewing things is the correct way is just as laughable as any believers who believe everyone should have to believe in their God(s).

And when you come onto my page, spouting such a belief…that the problem isn’t in the way people interpret the often contradictory texts, but is rather the fact that the texts exist at all, you are belittling all of the millions of decent and peaceful people with a belief in something larger than your scientific tests and analysis will EVER be able to prove.

The entire scientific method does not hold up to the idea that something can from nothing.  It does not hold up to the idea that somethings always were or are.  You will continue to search for what started everything and never find an answer.

A particle grew so dense in its own gravity that it exploded and created the universe?  Okay, what created the particle?  What created the building blocks of that particle?  What created the nothingness?

You will never, ever be able to answer those questions, and if you do, there will always be more questions.

But even if you never believe that something can be more than you can understand, to come on my page and belittle those who have come to that conclusion is tantamount to hate speech.

Not on my page, motherfucker.

I can handle a little debate.  I can handle someone saying that they disagree with my unknown beliefs or someone’s beliefs.  What I will not tolerate is being ridiculed for them, or you ridiculing anyone else for theirs.  I will not tolerate you blaming the intense complexities of the problems of the world on the billions of people who just try to live their lives in peace and have something larger than themselves to believe in.

So what if they are wrong, when it hurts nobody?  So what if people cherry-pick when the things they choose do not hurt anybody?

Bash the people who hide behind religion to hurt people all you want to.  But you will not use my page as a vehicle for your hate.

This goes for anyone religious that wants to bash tolerant atheists or tolerant members of other religions as well.  Not on my page.  Use your own shitty blog for that.