For The Last Time, People Don’t Suck!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Have you ever dealt with one of those people who just hates everyone?  Who thinks humanity is just a plague that needs to be cleansed from the planet?  Has dealing with them ever made you wonder why they just don’t start with themselves even though you hate the thought of someone actually committing suicide (with the exception of the Trump administration and his Congressional pets)?

I will admit, people can suck.  We have done horrible things to each other, to animals, and to the environment we rely on to sustain us.  People can be selfish, hateful, unfeeling, awful people.  They can be.

And those awful people. those that drop chemical weapons, those that manufacture those weapons, those that covertly supply those weapons, those that then put on a multi-million dollar fireworks show in what they claim is a response to the use of those weapons but is really just an attempt to distract from the investigation of collusion between those awful people and those responsible for backing the use of those weapons… those awful people get a lot of attention.

However, there are many, many more of us.  There are those who donate their own blood and organs to save strangers.  There are those that work tirelessly to ensure that people have a place to sleep and food to eat.  There are those who rescue unwanted and abused animals saved from the kinds of awful people that are currently getting all the attention.

The word “awful” has to be put in front of people when I write of the awful people because to call them simply people is to assign a humanity to them which they are clearly lacking.  I don’t have to put the word “good” in front of people to say that most people do not suck.

People have power.  People are being misled by awful people into thinking they do not.  People are being turned into awful people by the awful people in order to keep them from retaking the power that rightfully belongs to them.

Prior to the United States Civil War, then Presidential nominee Abraham Lincoln famously said that a house divided against itself cannot stand.  The awful people know this and are using it to break the will of the people.

They feed us stories of tragedy and terror.  Fear and suffering.  Hatred and evil.  A constant twenty-four hour barrage of information analyzed and justified by paid pundits to do one thing and one thing only… keep the people from seeing that most of us, just want to live in peace and take care of themselves and their loved ones.  That most people do not suck.  That if we could all understand who is keeping us from a better life in peace, things would change very rapidly.

At the end of a news segment, you have one short story about something good.  A puff piece designed to cover their agenda.   A way to pretend they have balance in their coverage.

Most news stories aren’t even useful news.  Rarely does a news entity cover who is backing a candidate’s run for office, what they received in donations, how those donations corresponded to their votes, what bills are being presented at state and local levels that receive bi-partisan support, or anything else that will help to keep an informed citizenry.

Instead, the news is filled with stories designed to scare you.  Shootings.  Bombings.  A conveniently placed next story about refugees or immigration and then you have people fearing those who they need not fear.  You do not hear about how sociopathic someone must be to fire hundreds of millions of dollars in cruise missiles to boost their poll numbers while cutting programs to help people eat.  You do not hear about how absolutely evil someone must be to drop bombs on a country because their government massacres them while leaving our doors closed to those who flee.   You are fed stories designed to make you fear the man on your block or the poor person in another country, instead of the people who can and will order the deaths of hundreds of people because they are where your buddies want to build an oil pipeline.

People do not suck.  People are awesome.  People are powerful.  Awful people suck.  Right now, the awful people are winning because they are successfully convincing some people that the threat is the people just trying to get by like themselves, and not the ones who are pulling all the strings.

The problems aren’t created by the poor people.  They aren’t created by the middle class or the upper-middle class; they aren’t even created by the rich.  But the ultra-rich in this world, I can guarantee you, have done some very horrible things to amass that amount of wealth.  No matter how they try to make up for it on the back-end with their foundations (even if most are just for publicity), they never would have gotten there without destroying lives.  By holding onto so much of it, they destroy even more.

People don’t suck.  People are being forced to compete for the scraps left behind by the awful people.  They are forced to undercut each other to sell their labor for nothing more than a chance at survival.  People become desperate, and may do some things that suck.  But people, in general, do not suck.

Awful people suck, and one day, I sincerely hope that people raid their palaces and suck away all of their ill-gotten gains.

And then I’ll be okay with those people who think people suck.

Invisible

Hello dear reader(s)!

I’m feeling kinda lousy today.  I have felt lousy most days since the end of my trip.  Yesterday, I went to the bank, and had to go inside.  The banker asked me what I did for a living when I asked about a direct deposit, and I told her I was disabled.  She looked at me in a way that I could tell she didn’t believe me, or thought I was “gaming the system”.

I was showered, I was smiling.  I spoke clearly and effectively.  My clothes were clean.  I felt terrible, but it didn’t show.  It was about the only thing I did yesterday.  I got there about four in the afternoon and it took me all day beforehand to work up the strength and energy to leave the house.  In that instant, she knew none of that.

The issues that make up my disability are invisible.  My kidney damage doesn’t cause a limp.  My cataracts only show up when a light is shined in them.  The memory issues that continue to plague me can’t be seen.  My gastrointestinal issues are on the inside.  The fatigue can’t be seen.  My poor immune system and lack of B cells do not show up on the skin.

Yes, on occasion, I can be a functioning human.  I can occasionally exist in the world, sometimes even days at time.  But when I do, I pay a heavy price.  A little activity leads to a lot of downtime.  Being around too many other people is risky.  A cross-country road trip makes me vulnerable to whatever little bugs most people can fight off may be out there.

I took the trash to the curb early this morning, and it just about killed me.  All of the sinus issues were aggravated by the cold early morning air, and I spent the next 15 minutes in a coughing fit gasping for air.  But all of this is rarely seen.

If you see me out in public, I look healthy.  Healthier than a lot of people, actually.  But looks are deceiving.  I am far from healthy.  People see that I have a bit of muscle mass, and that I am not carrying a ton of fat (plenty, but not a ton), and just assume that everything must be okay.  They have no idea what it took just to get through the shower and get dressed and ready to go out in public that day.  They have no idea what the next few days will be like for me because I dared to go to a friend’s house, or the grocery store, or the post office.

The disabled in this country are treated like shit.  Unless you are in a wheelchair with an American flag flying from it and a hat from whatever ship you were once stationed on, nobody even believes you are really disabled.  I paid into Social Security.  It is insurance.  The process is not at all easy and requires actual proof.  I am on Medicare now, and people think it is a damn entitlement.  It isn’t.  It is a fucking insurance policy that I paid into and had to take because I got fucking cancer and the treatment fucked me up.  That’s it.

Disability is looked down upon so much, that almost all Medicare Advantage and Medicare Supplement plans act as if only Senior Citizens should get Medicare.  Some of the Medicare Advantage plans in places I have lived even have Senior in their titles.  Almost all include some gym membership called something like Silver Sneakers or some other bullshit that totally ignores the disabled segment of people on their plans.  Then they sell your information to AARP so that they can send you their junk mail with all of the other pieces of unnecessary paper that never needs to be sent.  Yes, fuck you Humana, you inhumane profiteer, pieces of shit.

Then you have fucks like Paul Rand Ryan trying to pit the rest of the country against us.  Trying to privatize Medicare and Social Security because the money we paid in was raided by all of those career politicians to pay for their pet-projects.  They want to tell us what to eat, what medicines we should be taking over the advice of our doctors, and how we should spend our insurance money.

Listen here motherfuckers, if I scrimp and save all month-long, live with a roommate, and don’t buy a ton of other expensive shit in order to do it, if I go out to dinner and order a steak with my insurance money, that’s none of your fucking business.

I am not the reason your taxes are high.  Your taxes are high because you elect fuckers who give welfare to corporations.  Your taxes are high because the US has to have bases all over the motherfucking globe to protects its “interests”.  Your taxes are high because your gigantic military is basically a publicly subsided private security firm for international corporations.  Your taxes are high because payroll taxes are capped at $127,200.  Not because of my insurance.

The issues that make up my disability are invisible.  I, however, am not.  The other disabled people, are not.  As much as you might like them to be, we are not going to be.  We will fight for the respect and treatment that we deserve, whenever we are able.

 

Look! A Friday Blog!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you miss me?

No?

Fine!

I missed blog-type-thinging a little however, so here I am, post-type=thinging, on Friday!  Like I originally intended to do.  I might actually schedule time on Fridays to post-type-thing, but more likely I will just continue my random on-again, off-again posting style you all have come to know and detest.  Because I’m like, so totally random!  Now hand me my pumpkin spice frappuccino!

This morning, I am feeling awful.  I have been for a couple of days now.  My methods for attempting to feel better have failed miserably, so I miserably lie in bed typing this here post-type-thing wishing I felt belt better.

It’s okay though, I will feel physically better soon enough, however, and then…look out.

For what?  I am not exactly sure, but something.  Maybe ships at sea?  You decide.  Just look out.  I do not want to usurp your free will by telling you what you need to look out for.  In fact, to be completely transparent, even telling you to look out is probably overstepping my bounds.  So, I should ask that you please look out if you feel so inclined.

Okay, let’s see…what shall we talk about?

Oh, I know!

How about Mr. Bitter Beer Face, Alleged White Supremacist Terrorist Adam Purinton?

For those of you who don’t know, I live in the Kansas City metro area, of which Olathe is definitely a part.  In case you weren’t aware, some fucking idiotic terrorist Navy veteran, allegedly walked into a bar and allegedly shouted, “Get out of my country!” before allegedly shooting two Indian men and a white man trying to stop him because he allegedly thought they were Muslims and that would somehow allegedly justify it to all of the fucking pieces of shit who allegedly think it’s only a tragedy that they weren’t even Muslim.

Now, I only point out he was a Navy veteran, not to generalize veterans, but to combat the notion that because someone wore the uniform, that automatically makes them a good person and worthy of respect.  This piece of shit committed an act of domestic terrorism, not too far from where I live.  Can we please get over the jingoistic “support out troops and veterans at all costs” brainwashing we have had to endure?

While we are on the subject of brainwashing, let’s talk about Trump voters.

Is America great yet?  

How is that working out for you so far?  Got that great job yet?  I know it’s only been a month, but you all were blaming Obama for things that happened before he even took office.  So, why isn’t America great?

I am going to go off an “I told you so!” rant now.

I know someone with a business in legal cannabis.  He voted for Trump.  I warned him.  Over and over again I said that a Trump administration would be against it.  He argued and argued.  Didn’t believe me one bit.  Told me that I was being brainwashed by the mainstream media.  He said Trump wouldn’t go after it because of states’ rights.  Then Sessions was nominated and confirmed.  And yesterday, just as I suspected, in Trump and company’s desire to further entrench the police state, his mouthpiece Spicer announced that we should expect enforcement of federal anti-marijuana laws.  Now, I haven’t used cannabis since I lived in Washington because I am paranoid about ending up in a for-profit prison doing slave-labor.  That said, I still think it should be legal, even though this won’t really affect me.  I really hope he gets to keep his assets.  I really hope he isn’t raided and put in prison.  If it happens to him, or other Trump voters, well, it’s on them.

Also, for those of you who believe Trump’s falsely inflated crime numbers, just wait until we have a real drug war again with cartels controlling something millions of Americans create a demand for.  Good luck stopping that with your little wall.

I also had an argument with someone over the future of Social Security and Medicare prior to the election.  I warned that with a Ryan as Speaker, and Trump in the White House, the programs would be drastically cut, to the point of being almost useless.  This person told me the programs were too sacred and it would never fly.  And yet after the election, the only bill put forth to extend the life of the Social Security Trust Fund that wouldn’t need extending were it not previously raided, is to cut benefits without lifting the payroll tax cap.

Trump and his jackbooted ICE agents (Schutzstaffel) are rounding up illegal immigrants in unheard of numbers.  How is that working out for you?  Do you feel safer when the Brownshirts come to a hospital to remove a woman with a brain tumor?  Does it make you feel safe when the Brownshirts raid a court to detain a woman seeking a restraining order from an abusive partner?  How about knowing that the tip came from her alleged abuser?  How is that fucking great?

Is it great that the obsolete coal industry is allowed to dump their ash into our fucking drinking water?

Small business owners, are you experiencing record profits with all those barriers to your business taken down, or have those executive orders not benefited you yet?

Is it great that other nations have to debate whether or not to rescind an invitation by their Prime Minister for a State Visit?

Is it great that the severely mentally ill can buy firearms?

Is it great that the Arizona Senate passed a bill allowing for the seizure of assets of protest organizers if those protests should turn violent even if they weren’t planned to be?

Is it great that Steve Bannon said that many of the cabinet nominees were specifically selected to destroy their respective agencies?

So, please, tell me…

Is America Great Again?

Maybe by next Friday…

 

 

 

 

Sub-Zero

Hello dear reader(s)!

Okay, sub-zero is only with the windchill.  A snowy blast hit the area last night, making for snowy, blasty conditions like that of a blast of snowy, blasty snow.  The ice-covered roads have a top coating of blasty snow that blasted onto them after the freeze of blasty weather last night.  The Department of Transportation has told residents to avoid travel today, due to the snowy, blasty conditions.

And my fucking heater is barely working.  It is cold in here.  Not the kind of cold that makes it comfortable to sleep wrapped up in blankets, but the kind of cold that makes you worried about frostbite on any skin that is exposed.  The cats glommed onto me so tightly for warmth, and the cold made my neuropathy unbearable.  All of my joints hurt, and I have a headache from the poor sleep.

I had an offer to spend the day in a nice, warm house, but I had to refuse because the asshats that are the maintenance and HVAC people for the property management company are going to be coming out during my roommate’s doctor appointment to go up and get the heater barely limping again for another day or so before it quits, and coming up with excuses of why they can’t actually fix it so it works like one should.  So I need to be here for that.

For the first few visits, they thought the only access point to the heater (which is up in the attic crawl space to make it as inefficient as possible) was through a hatch in the closet of my tiny-ass room.  This meant that I had to take everything out of my closet (which is overfull as it is), every time they came over to look at it.  That happened a lot.  Soon, they found that there is an access point through the ceiling in my roommate’s bedroom (that is easier to fit through), so at least that is no longer a problem.

However, this will be about the 9th time they have been here to look at this piece of shit since we moved in.  That was in October.  We didn’t even turn on the heat until mid-November.

When you add in the broken kitchen faucet, the leak in the bathroom sink, the leak in the kitchen sink, and the sewer clean out, we have had someone in here to mickey mouse patch things more often than I had the last woman I was seeing over.  They should be paying rent.  I am fucking sick of it.

I have to wonder if my thoughts of the area have been tainted by my experiences in this house.  I am tired of it, and I want to leave.

The thought of prepaying a year lease somewhere since I have don’t have good credit is increasingly seeming like a good idea, even though I do not want to waste any money I have saved to possibly, one day not have to worry about horrible slumlords any longer.

But, you should never go to the store hungry, and you should never make a huge financial decision in a blind rage.

On the plus side, I have a new warmth in my soul that is helping to keep me from making terroristic threats at the property managers, so, at least I’m not looking at jail time.

Featured Image from https://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesjordan/2292320731/in/photolist-4uyK6e-k1epa2-7q1RjC-7FPhXf-bnm1pG-wWpdF-yjuzd-9QkxyM-62om2o-5SAfN2-aQEoX-4qWndi-5YLGue-5YQUSy-99yNQt-boFhwT-5YLGXF-dTjzLi-dPDVkG-cyFTQu-dPDVoN-dCoYYn-qmgY5N-4DT1Vi-tB58J-dKCa8Y-7JvW2z-5YQUj1-5KMsGT-7FPo9U-9mk8jk-5YLDqn-arFhC7-5YLEeK-dNNsoX-brLp8P-7AZv6H-7FPvqu-4G1Pbq-jSru8y-brLptv-5YQVoY-wWp4V-fAaYES-62Ypgx-iTjFjt-5NUZEn-e6UQz4-jZxWqt-brLpD2

 

 

 

 

Nonfiction

Hello dear reader(s)!

I was going to write a story today.  I have one in mind.  I think it will be pretty good, but of course, it all depends on how I write it.  The story will be fictional, but like most of my fiction, I am sure that people will read into it and figure it is about them.  That used to bother the hell out of me.  In fact, just up until a couple stories ago.  Now, I just don’t care.  If people want to project the feelings they wish I felt, or they hope I don’t feel onto the characters I write, so be it.  If they think every love story I write is about them, or every harsh story is a reflection on them or me, or every event mirrors a real event in my life, that says more about them than it does about me.  Let them have that.

I’m not in the mood to write a story today.  I’m not feeling creative at all.  Despite the fact that I am physically feeling better (minus the headaches), I woke up this morning with some crazy anxiety, and feeling rather down.

Now, with my Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I don’t really need a reason to be anxious.  It can come from nothing, and usually does.  This time around, I know exactly why I am anxious and down.  There are a few reasons, really.  So for all of you who are so desperate to know what is happening in my life, that you read too much into my fiction, here is what is really going on…

  • It’s gloomy, cold, windy, and is supposed to be below zero tomorrow  Add to that some freezing rain coming, and it isn’t exactly the weather where you want to go for a nice little walk among the nature you so desperately crave.  I understand that it is basically winter (although not technically), but I feel like I am getting Seasonal Affective Disorder.  It would be one thing if it was April and I was counting down the days until warmer temperatures and sun, but we haven’t even really started yet.
  • These fucking headaches  It is really hard to stay in a good mood when you are in constant pain, especially when that pain is in your head.  It’s great that I can swallow again, that I can breathe, and that I no longer feel like I got hit by a truck, but if you could just go ahead and remove the vice from my head and quit stabbing me in the temple, that’d be great.  Thanks.
  • Isolation  I fucking hate it here.  Not because I think that the area may be the source of my headaches.  Not because getting in to see a specialist is a major pain in the ass.  Not because of all the Trump supporting, racist, Christian fundamentalist, ignorant assholes, but because it is obvious that my people are elsewhere.  It is because of how fucking alone I feel.  I’m not the most extroverted person in the world, but I do need some level of human interaction.  Not being able to work, means that I have to rely on my friends and family for that.  I probably bug the shit out of them with my texts and things.  And even when they have a minute or two in their busy lives to talk and respond, it just isn’t the same as being face to face with someone who actually wants to share their time with you.
  • Future plans  My income is not enough to make it so that I can afford to live on my own in any place I want to be.  I know that I can not and do not want to stay here for more than the term of my lease.  I might want to buy out early, but that would take a large chunk of some of my money that I would rather spend on other things.  Once I do leave, I will need a place to go.  And as much as I love them, I really, really do not want to live with my parents again.  Nor, I am sure, do they want me to live with them either.  My best bet would be finding a roommate, who is okay with cats, and isn’t a psychopath.  Easier said than done.
  • Relationship issues  I’d say about a month ago, I was talking to a friend of mine in what seemed like a really good conversation at the time.  I was smiling and laughing throughout the conversation and it just genuinely felt good to be having that conversation with her.  But something she said kind of caught in my mind.  I didn’t really pay any attention to it until after I ended the call.  Since then, it has been bothering me, but I haven’t really gotten the chance to bring it up.  So it sits, gnawing at me.  I have another friend, who I think is going through a hard time right now.  I want to be there for her, and care for her, but she isn’t physically near, and is so independent that I get the feeling she wouldn’t want my help even if I could carry some of her burden for her.  It hurts me to know those I care about are hurting, and there is really nothing I can do about it.  I’m also having a very hard time letting her know I care and don’t plan to go away just because she isn’t feeling her best, and giving her the space she might need.

There you have it dear reader(s), a real nonfiction post you don’t have to read into.  After reading this pity-party, I’m sure you can understand now why I occasionally write fiction.

 

 

Intersectionality

Hello dear reader(s)!

I need to talk about a very important topic today.  That topic, is intersectionality.  Intersectionality is defined as the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage.

And that is very important, and should be talked about.

However, intersectionality can also mean the way we all behave at intersections.  And let’s face it, as important as the actual meaning is, how we behave at intersections is pretty damn important too.  And it doesn’t take a social scientists to explain.

What, were you expecting a serious post from me on a Sunday?  Silly reader(s)!  Serious posts are for kids?  Well…anyway.

  • 4 way or all way stops  Okay, seriously, why is this so fucking hard?  You yield to the person who stops first.  In the event of a tie or too close to call situation, you yield to the person on the right.  That’s it.  If you want to see who shouldn’t be allowed to vote, watch a 4 way stop.
  • yellow lights  If you have to speed up to make it before the red, you should probably just stop or else the car behind you is going to get homicidal for not going that fucking fast in the first place!  He was riding your ass for a reason.  If you can make it through without speeding up, then go through.  Don’t make the car behind you slam on their breaks because the changing light scared you.  Also, in inclement weather, just fucking go.  You’ll slide out into the intersection if you stop too hard, and the other cars won’t have as much traction to jump off the line at their green light anyway should the last 1/4″ of your Kia Rio not be completely through at the change anyway, grandma.
  • Left turns without a signal  You are last.  You yield to everyone else.  If it is busy, don’t a be a dick and stop all the traffic behind you.  Certain times of day, on certain roads, (I don’t know, say 50th in Seattle during commute times, not that I have any experience being stuck behind some fucking left turner trying to cross for 20 fucking minutes as the right lane is clogged with people parked or anything), you shouldn’t be a dick and make those cross traffic lefts.  Find another way, you lazy, yuppie, Amazon fuck.
  • Right on red  Check the state you’re in, but usually, if it is clear, and it is not otherwise posted, fucking turn.  Turn.  Turn your shitty car and get the fuck out of the way of the people who actually want to live lives outside of their cars in traffic, grandma!
  • Pedestrians  You should stop for them, especially when they cross at intersections.  It is just the right thing to do.  Besides, you don’t want to have to get your car fixed and cleaned from the bits of pedestrian.  However, when they are crossing against the light (if there is a light), there is no law that prevents you from flipping them off and revving your engine at them.  Also, if there is a cross walk on one side of the intersection and not on the other, and they choose to cross at the side without a crosswalk, feel free to let them know of you displeasure by screaming obscenities at them and threatening to kill them and their whole family for being so fucking lazy they can’t walk the extra 15 feet to the proper side as the veins bulge out in your head and you then worry about having an aneurysm.
  • Green lights  When the light is green, and the intersection is clear of other cars and pedestrians, you fucking go.  You do not finish that text, or putting on your makeup that does nothing to hide the ugliness of your soul.   You go.  Green means go.  The accelerator is the pedal on the right, and you push it down to fucking accelerate.  The people behind you want through the intersection too.  Despite the way your mommy treated you growing up, there are other people in the world.  And to all you hyper-mileage fuckers who think they are saving a ton of gas by not accelerating at the green light but instead choose to just take their foot off the brake and idle through…how much gas do you think you’ll be using when you are trying to run from someone intent on killing you?  Asking for a friend.
  • Roundabouts  Yield to the person in the roundabout, or the person on the left.  Unless you live in an idiot city where they have decided to include both stop signs and roundabouts, in which case, I am sorry your city is full of morons and includes contradictory traffic controls.  Just um….try not to hit anyone, I guess.

These rules of intersectionality apply to drivers in the US.  Your results may vary.  For more information, visit your DMV and have them pull your fucking license for needing more information, grandma!

Featured Image by original Image:UK Roundabout_8_Cars.gif (with cars driving on the left) created by Mintguy, prettified by Fredrik. Adapted to right sided traffic by Romanm; Deutsch: Mintguy (en-Wiki) und Archenzo (it-Wiki) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Not Awesome

Hello dear reader(s)!

A lot of times people ask me, “Josh, why are you talking to yourself?”

To which I reply, “You’re not my real dad!”

And they say, “I know, I’m your psychiatrist.”

Anyway, that’s beside the point.  But I know what they’re really trying to ask.  They want to know how come I’m so motherfucking awesome.

Well my dear reader(s), I wish I could explain it you, but unfortunately it’s far too motherfucking awesome of a story for your normal brains to comprehend.  However, what I can do, is explain why nearly everyone else isn’t.

Are you ready for a rant, in convenient list form, with a cinnamon cream cheese filling?   Great!  Two out of three ain’t bad!

Hold onto your lame fucking hats, ’cause I’m about to drop a truth bomb on y’all motherfuckers!

  1. Having drinks for a limited time is definitely not awesome!  I recently was informed by a friend that Pumpkin Spice Lattes were available before the official launch of the coveted drink and so I went to my local store when I ran out of white mocha at six in the morning to get one.  Of course, this store was sticking to the official launch date and was not offering them.  And so I ordered nothing, politely told them that is all I was there for, and went to the store to get more white mocha for my cheaper, better coffee with non-burnt beans that do not taste like roasted ass.  It is BS that some stores have it, and some don’t.  Why is this drink limited anyway?  It’s not like it is made with actual pumpkin.  Would I get them year round if Starbucks chose to offer them?  Sure.  But since they don’t, I just make my own coffee for most of the year and guess what Starbucks doesn’t get?  My however fucking much they overcharge a day.  And now, I am so pissed about it, I will stop at nothing to make them myself.  Better, stronger, faster, and cheaper.  But also, any motherfucking time I want.  Motherfuckers.
  2. Still having intersections with no traffic controls once your city’s population and density has expanded by like four times what it once was, is definitely not awesome!  Looking at you, Seattle.  Your waste on transportation is the only sensible argument I have ever heard from a Republican.  In fact, if you fixed that, and actually spent the crazy taxes you say go to transportation (while cities with much lower rates do a much better job), you could probably eliminate your opposition.  But instead, you just blow that money left and right.  Studying if you should set up commissions to study things and then ignoring the findings and doing what you want anyway.  For one of the first times in my life, I hope voters stop approving tax increases for you.  Get your shit together, because you could bury the GOP here if you’d pull your heads out of your asses and learned some mother fucking planning skills with a little contractor accountability.  My friend’s 4 year-old could do better.  Sure, it would be done in Lego, but that’d be cool anyway.  Motherfuckers.

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    Let’s allow them to put up a new building with no parking spaces without expanding public transportation and then also leave torn-up roads but claim we don’t have the money to put in motherfucking stop signs on the North end! Great motherfucking idea!
  3. Shouting for no reason is not awesome!  Why are you yelling Stephen A. Smith?  It’s sports.  Is it because you are always logically wrong and so in order to compete with Skip or Max you need to shout over them?

    You don’t debate, you annoy.  How come Michael Smith of Jemele Hill don’t need to shout to make great points?  (Even if they won’t hook up, which is a shame, because Dow couldn’t make better chemistry.)  But, thanks for all that shouting, because it helps me wake up angry and ready to create motherfucking rants like this.  Motherfucker.  Also, fuck furniture commercials, motherfuckers.  I am going to come down to thiose stores and yell at the associates about how I might buy that motherfucking couch either TODAY THROUGH MONDAY ONLY!!!!  Motherfuckers.
  4. Lifestyle pushers are not awesome!  I have complained in the past about some motherfucking people in the Polyamorous community trying to coerce me (and others) into motherfucking (probably) polyamory.  And to be honest, it made me judge the motherfucking book of poly by those shitty motherfucking people on its cover.  I have much better poly friends now, who do not try to shove it down my throat (both literally and figuratively), so I am much less anti now.  Not that I am poly, but all it took was them not trying to make everyone be like them, in order to have my respect for their choice.  The same can be said for religion or lack thereof, and for musical tastes, and fashion, and diet, and just about anything else in which people try to coerce others.  You’re just hurting your own cause, motherfuckers.
  5. My stupid fucking condo association is definitely not awesome!  I can’t start my motherfucking washer before 9 am, but you can so out and scrape your motherfucking shovel on the ground below my motherfucking window at 7:30?  What the fuck is that all about?  And how many motherfucking parking spots do you need?  Seriously, motherfucker, you do not own this motherfucking building, no matter what motherfucking position you hold.  You are so lucky I am not the motherfucking owner of my unit or else I would call out your motherfucking bullshit hypocrisy at every motherfucking meeting because unlike some motherfuckers, I don’t go along to get along.  Motherfucker.
  6. Overuse of the word “motherfucker” or its various forms, is not awesome!  Listen motherfucker in the mirror, I’m looking at you here.  Why in the motherfucking fuck do you need to keep using that motherfucking word?  Just because Samuel L. Jackson made a motherfucking career out of it, doesn’t mean you can, motherfucker.

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