Hello dear reader(s)!

As far as the Pagan Sabbats are concerned, Lughnasadh or Lammas to me is “Meh”.  Don’t get me wrong, I will still do a couple of things in order to celebrate it, but all the Sabbats for me are times to connect with nature or observe the changing of the seasons and to me, Litha and Lughnasadh feel roughly the same.  They’re both hot as fuck and around times where being outside for any major length of time will result in skin cancer or heat stroke.

It is the first of the harvest festivals, so fruit and grain are big on this day.  My love is baking some braided bread that looks amazing.  It is rising right now, but I am sure it will smell and taste even better.  I am looking forward to that.

This evening, when the sun goes down, I will try to get outside.

I belong to a local group that celebrates the Sabbats and they are having a celebration this evening, but I am pretty certain I will not be able to attend due to extreme gastrointestinal issues which will make me want to stay close to home wherein lies my magical porcelain throne which the seven kingdoms do not fight over.

I will feast tonight, because my love is an awesome cook.  Maybe I will light a fire in the evening (as this is a fire festival) or burn an effigy to release the negativity we carry.  Incense and candles will be burned (of course), and good times will be had.

But I am still kinda “Meh” on this one.  One of the problems with a nature-centric belief system is that sometimes, nature sucks.  You understand the necessity of it.  You are thankful for what is provided by it, but you don’t want to go outside and play in it.

“That’s great that the love between the Goddess and the God burned so hot it literally consumed him, but could they not get their passionate heat all over the rest of us?  I don’t want to be consumed too!”

If you want to get really technical, this celebration should have happened yesterday after sunset since that is when the day began for the Celtic pagans, but fuck technicalities.  I do what I want.  Besides, if you get in to those kind of technicalities, you probably actually want to celebrate on the closest full moon.  My path allows me to mark days on a regular calendar, thank you very much.

Perhaps if my stomach feels any better later, I will let my Goddess consume me, if y’all know what I’m sayin’.   😉

Happy Lughnasadh, everyone!  May it be more than “Meh” for you!






Ostara Greetings

Hello dear reader(s)!

Blessed Ostara!  Or Happy Spring Equinox!  Or Happy Vernal Equinox, for those of you Vern worshipers.

I’ve decided that I need a Stonehenge.  I think it would a be a really great addition to my local community and I believe it should be installed post-haste.  I would like to see it up on a hill, surrounded by fields.  And none of this half-crumbling shit either.  I think it should be constructed as originally intended.  And I could charge a fee for entry to anyone who wanted to see it except on the equinoxes and solstices when it would be free to all who wish to bask in the glory of the light of the sunrise as it aligns with the structures.

Maybe I should start a Kickstarter.

Tonight I have an Ostara celebration to attend.  I am rather excited, except my post-nasal drip is still bothering me.  It needs to stop, post-haste.

Like the other equinox (that which shall not be named, today anyway, because it isn’t all about that one), today is a day for balance.  That is a good thing, because my post-nasal drip has really fucked up my equilibrium so I can use all the balance I can get.  I do not intend to drink tonight as it would be hard enough to balance during a field sobriety test stone-sober (although being stoned, isn’t exactly sober, so I really don’t get that term).  I shall not be stoned either, unless I got some bad Sudafed.

I intend to do a spell to increase the power of the Sudafed that I shall take so I am hopefully not coughing or spewing mucus all over the new people I meet.  “Blessed (cough!  hack!) Ostara!!!”  {Extends slimy hand outward for people to look at disgustedly before running away.}

The festivities are potluck style, so I need to bring something.  I was thinking deviled eggs, as eggs are traditional to the whole fertility, rebirth aspect of this particular festivity, but deviled eggs are a pain in the ass and need to be kept cool in order not to give everyone Ostaritis, an Ostara specific food poisoning.  I may just do some phallic shaped bread (easy enough, most bread loaves are cock-shaped) and like an artichoke dip or something else low maintenance.

Today is expected to be the last good weather day here for a while.  In fact, this evening, it should rain.  I can live with that.  As long as it doesn’t snow, I will be a happy camper, only I am not camping anywhere.

Today is a good day to grow your intentions, just as a farmer would be growing crops to harvest later.  I need to think about what mine are.  I know a few, but I really need to make them more concrete, as this cement alone is just too weak.  Besides, having an intention like, “I intend to make that woman cum more times that she ever thought possible.” is great and all, just probably not the most beneficial intention to have for my life.

I actually do have a few real goals.  Real goals I am progressing toward despite my post-nasal drip.  I must take those goals and the momentum made toward them and transform them into Autobots.  I must take those goals and combine them to determine what they mean for an overall intention of how I want to live the remaining time I have here in this life.  I must prevent them from transforming into Decepticons.

I need to get up and shower, so I can go get the food.  I need to take Sudafed, so I can make it through the shower.  I need to end this post-nasal drip post-haste, and make it a no-nasal drip.  I need to stop saying things like post-haste.  There, those are my intentions.  That shit was easy.

Blessed Ostara one and all, and to all, a good day or night.  Or both.  You know what?  How about a good as long as you want it to be good?  Why not?  Why should I be stingy with my good wishes?  What are we teaching the children?!?!




Saint Day of Paddy’s

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day.  I don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day.  Why would I celebrate someone who made Ireland into a theocracy where nuns threw babies into septic tanks rather than acknowledge that woman might fuck when they’re not married and those babies aren’t evil?  Why celebrate that Ireland getting Christianity caused women’s rights to be stomped on for decades?

I love Ireland, don’t get me wrong.  I think it is beautiful.  I think the people there are pretty awesome.  I love how they voted to legalize same-sex marriage over fierce opposition from the church.  I love the many Irish accents.  I love the traditional Irish music.  I love the beer, and some of the food.  I love the language.  I love all of the history and all of the Celtic and Gaelic influence.

And this is where Saint Patrick actually is a problem for me.  He drove the snakes out of Ireland.  The snakes were not actual snakes.  The snakes were a metaphor for the Pagans.  The Celtic and Gaelic influence that Ireland still hangs onto was Pagan.  As a Pagan, why should I celebrate that?

So I don’t.

But like Christians celebrating a combination of Yule and Saturnalia, and calling it Christmas, I am going to celebrate on the day for my own reasons.  I don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, the solemn religious holiday that used to be dry until Ireland realized that they could make a serious amount of tourist dollars by allowing the kind of drunken partying that used to only happen in the US, I celebrate St. Paddy’s Day.  St. Paddy’s Day, while, yes could be short for Saint Patrick’s Day, isn’t to me.  Instead, it is a celebration of Irish culture, art, and a time to eat, drink, and be merry.

Plus, I get to wear my cool green stuff.

Saint Patrick actually was known for a light blue color.  The wearing of green didn’t become popular until the movement for an Irish Republic began to take hold.  So wearing my green today, is not celebrating Saint Patrick, it is celebrating Éire (Ireland).  Éire, incidentally, comes from Ériu, which was the name of a Gaelic goddess, the matron goddess of Ireland, a goddess of the land.

I’m not Irish.  Well, I mean, I’m not Irish enough to call myself Irish.  I don’t think up to a quarter of my ethnicity being Irish really makes me Irish at all.  But I do know that I am absolutely fascinated by Ireland, and by all things Irish.  So, I am going to celebrate today, based on that and that alone.

Besides, we need more excuses to celebrate.

Just remind me not to overdo it.  Ostara is just days away.

Happy Dia De Los Santo de Paddy, everyone!


New Year, Same Me

Hello dear reader(s)!

Happy New Year’s Eve (or possibly New Year’s in certain parts of the world) to you!  So even though I have said numerous times that this year wasn’t the worst year I have had, it certainly doesn’t mean it was very good either.  And now that I’m here on the last day of it, I can’t help wishing it a hearty “Fuck you!”  and a “Don’t let the door hit your punk-ass on the way out!”

There are some changes I want to make in the upcoming year.  I do.  Not because it is a new calendar year, but changes I have wanted to make for a while.  Seasons generally mark change for me; the calendar only plays a roll in that it is what society operates on.  However, since our society generally marks time by that calendar, it is easy to divide that time into chapters of your life.  And truthfully, I can’t wait to close the book on this fucking chapter.

But unlike every single person who decides their lives will magically improve at the stroke of midnight, I am under no such illusions.  I understand that things take time.  I understand that in any story, what happened in the previous chapter will often affect the current one, and will occasionally make an appearance later in your story even if you thought your protagonist had left whatever it was behind.  I understand that at the core of me, I will never change.  And for most things, I am okay with that.

So here are some things I am hoping for in the upcoming year, that I will work toward.  Understanding of course, that they may not be possible, and that I may change my mind as is my right under Article V of the Fuck You, This is My Life, So I Can Change My Mind If Want To Act of 1947.

  • Build A Wall  Not around our border with our Southern neighbor, but around my personal life and feelings.  I recently had someone on my Facebook tell someone I do not communicate with about my intent (not plan) to relocate at some point in the coming year.  I really should not have even had that person as a friend, as there have been other indications that person may not be someone who is actually a friend to me.  I was intelligent enough to finally unfriend that person, but I really should have done it long before.  I have bee trying to believe the best about people for too long, and it is something I really need to stop.  I need to see people for who they really are.  Additionally, I think that I am too trusting and I am sick of getting burned.
  • Relocate  I know where I want to go.  That may not be in the cards.  I do not want to stay here.  I’ve tried to give this place a shot, but between all the meth addicts, the road ragers, the angry white man butthurt Trump voters, and the fundamentalist Chirstians, I think it is time to look at seeking asylum elsewhere.  Plus I am certain my headaches are at least partially caused by living here, and the weather is shit.  The only issue here, is that it might actually be easiest and most affordable to buy a house and stay here, than rent anywhere I want to be.
  • Pay off debts  Even the ones I know I do not owe.  Principle is not worth the zero credit score.  I need to just suck it up, and take care of it.  There are one or two instances where I still will not pay and am actually considering going to state insurance commissioners with my EOB’s so that they adjust their billing to what they are contracted with the insurance company I had, but for the most part, I will probably just pay them to get them off my report.
  • Get in a position to be able to either work, or learn a skill so I may work again later  This one may not be possible.  It isn’t entirely up to me.  It would be best if my B cell line came in, but the likelihood of that happening is pretty low.  There is a possibility that regular infusions of IVIG antibodies could allow me to head off some illnesses, but there would still be the issue that I can’t get vaccines and would still become neutropenic a little too often.  In addition, some things just make it difficult for me, like the hearing loss, the vision issues, the fact I need to drink and pee constantly because of my low kidney function, the stomach issues, the headaches, the fatigue, the required shit-ton of doctor appointments, and then there is the mental health issues.  It’s a lot of challenges, but if there is a workaround I can find, I really need to.  Nobody can live on what I bring in, even with roommates, in too many places now.  Plus, it gets fucking boring and is too isolating.  To that end, I have a shit-ton of upcoming doctor appointments, so maybe we can address enough issues that I can figure something out.
  • Meet new people  Genuinely.  I don’t want more Facbook friends.  I want more genuine friends I can go and hang out with.  Or have over to play Cards Against Humanity.  Or cook for, since buying food for one person is virtually impossible.  People who share some of my interests and have their own.  People without personalities are so 2016.
  • Fuck.  A lot  I kind of want to get over my need to have a genuine connection with someone before I have sex.  I’m not sure I can, but I want to.  I want to go whore it up.   I want to find a new basement slave.  My last one got an attitude.  I want to be one for some other lovely woman.  I want to have a few more on the side.  Enough connections.  Enough feelings.  Enough heartache.  Those things were so 2016.

I have to go get an MRI today!  What a fun New Year’s Eve!  Do you have any plans for today?  Any changes you would like to make?  Would love to hear about them.

Dear Santa,

Hello dear Santa(s)!

As you may or may not be aware, Yule is coming!  So is Christmas.  So is lots of stuff.  As I get to choose my path, this means that I am down with the Santa.  So what if he may be a combination of Odin and Saint Nicholas?  Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  Yes, Missouri, and Washington, and Nevada, and any other state too.  (I am aware Virginia was a person in that reference, not a state.  This was a joke.  Please do not send hate comments regarding a dumb joke saying I destroyed your childhood.  I am not the one who destroyed your childhood.  That was clearly your parents, and the education system.)

Anyway, since I have been a very good boy, and only a little naughty, for which I have already been punished and have the welts on my ass to prove it…I think that I am deserving of Christmas gifts.  I have also left out milk and cookies for the jolly dude himself, as well as carrots for Odin’s horse.

Therefore, I humbly submit my Christmas list for your consideration, which I would hope would meet with your approval, as I have met all the terms of getting gifts from Santa Claus this year; or have at least attempted to meet said terms in good faith.  I have been informed by my nonexistent attorneys that a lack of gifts received would constitute a dereliction of duty on the part of Santa Claus, and would result in a breach of contract on the part of him, his elves, and all employees and subsidiaries of North Pole Industries and would be actionable under subsection 12.A, under…wait for it…The Santa Claus.  (That’s right, I stole a pun.)

  1. I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”*  Okay, not really.  But I love *A Christmas Story and if I didn’t include that in my list, I would be derelict in my duties.
  2. Cash  The end of this year will be a little tight.  I could use a little cash.  I’m not asking for much.  Just a couple hundred…Million.
  3. Health  I have a ridiculous sore throat right now, and my nose is running like Usain Bolt.  I am still congested, despite the running.  My nose is like Forest Gump.  I would also like these damn headaches to go away.  A return of B cells would be nice, along with an end to my stomach issues.  And cataract surgery.  And better energy.  Okay, basically, I want a new body.  Except, it should look a lot like mine, because, let’s face it…I’m fucking hot.  Except maybe I could have a six-pack this time around.
  4. A trip to Ireland  And elsewhere in Europe.  And maybe relocation there if Trump is actually allowed to take office should the electoral be derelict in their duty of protecting American democracy from foreign intervention.
  5. The sudden resignation of Trump and all of his proposed administration  Because nobody wants Pence there either.  Except maybe Pence.  And the KKK.  And the Westboro Baptist Church.  And maybe his family, but probably not because they know how awful he is despite being forced to stand on stage with him and smile if they want to keep their trust funds.
  6. Beautiful
  7. A new cell phone  Because my Samsung is a POS.  The charging port constantly needs to be bent into shape.  The battery life is abysmal.  It likes to think the SIM card has been removed from time to time and requires a restart to find it.  Usually at the worst times, like when I’m in a deep and/or sexy conversation.  It also likes to think my SD card has been removed from time to time.  The only good thing about my phone, is that it isn’t a Galaxy Note 7 and has yet to explode.  Yet.  Because when I get a new phone?  I’m blowing it up.  Not in the way I blow up the phone of those I talk to a lot either.
  8. A good DSLR  Of course, this would be after my cataract surgery.  Maybe I could become a professional photographer.  I see a lot of people with good equipment go into photography, and do quite well, when their pictures kinda suck, and they place their subjects in the same lame-ass, cliché poses for things like engagement pictures and family portraits.  I think I could do well by bringing in more of an artistic flair, as well as my love for nudes and tastefully tasteless fetish scenes.  But not in family portraits, you sicko.
  9. The recognition of my greatness by all
  10. Forgiveness of all the naughtiness I plan for the coming year

What about you, dear reader(s)?  What do you want most for your holiday?  Feel free to leave your list, or maybe a link to your own list post in the comments.  If you do, be sure to share so that there is a better chance that the good ol’ Santa-type-person has a higher chance of seeing our wonderful lists.  If you fail to do so, it will be considered dereliction of duty.



Why I Do Not Feel Bad For Celebrating

Hello dear reader(s)!

In my country of the United States of America (not to be confused with America, which is one of two continents), it is Memorial Day.  Memorial Day is a day we are to honor and remember all the people who fell in service to our country.

My relationship with the military is complex, but my relationship with the majority of people who joined it and are at the rank and file levels is definitely not.  Regardless of how I think they have been misused, I appreciate their willingness to possibly sacrifice everything for us.

And look what we have because of them!

So when I see posts all over Facebook and all over other social media saying that this day isn’t about the beach or barbecues or fun in the sun…I respectfully ask them not to tell me how to honor people.

Because for me it is.

When Hannah died, I was not ready to have her memorial right away.  I think it was just over two weeks later.  There is a reason for that.  She felt the same I way I did about it all.

While I’m sure she knew her loss would be mourned, she thought it was much more important that her life was celebrated.  So we took the time to gather ourselves and attempt to celebrate her life.  Were there tears?  Of course!  Were we all mourning her loss?  Yes, we are not heartless bastards.  But there was laughter, funny stories, and happy memories shared too.  It was fucking beautiful, and I know she would have been happy with it.

So back to Memorial Day.  When the brave people stormed the beaches in France, do you think they did it so their loved ones at home could sit around solemnly and mourn their loss once a year?  I’m guessing the answer to that is “No.”

They did it for them.  For all of us.  So we could live happy lives free from the kind of tyrannical, fascist, despotic leader we are in danger of electing.  They did it to stand up for those who would be marginalized in a divided society, so that we could all live happily in peace and prosperity at home.

Sometimes I think we are so hung up on the fact that they sacrificed, that we lose sight of why they did it.

If you need to mourn on this day, I will not judge you.  Especially if you have a personal connection.

But don’t judge me for celebrating their sacrifice by taking advantage of what it allowed.

And don’t judge me for worrying that we are undoing it by allowing Donald Trump anywhere near the presidency.