I Am Here For You

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you miss me?  I missed me.  I missed me hard.

I realize I went MIA there for a while, and there is good reason for that.  I have been insanely busy, or sick, or lazy, or preoccupied.   I have definitely been distracted.  Everything has conspired to keep me from this-here blog-type-thing for quite some time now.  It had gotten to the point to where I considered abandoning it altogether.  (Everyone:  It had gotten to the point to where I considered abandoning it.)

But then I thought about you, my dear reader(s).  Lost and confused in a world without MyFridayBlog™, and all of the goodness and light it brings.  I could abandon my blog-type-thing, but not you, my dear reader(s).

Especially not in times like these, when fascists rule our government, polluters rule our lands, and people actually wait in fucking lines for shitty chicken sandwiches from homophobic businesses.   If I completely went away, the terrorists would win.

However, even though I have made my triumphant return to blog-type-thinging, the news isn’t all good.  It’s fake.  All of it.  Even the true stuff is just fake news.  Especially when it is about our dear Fuhrer Trump and his merry band of fascist traitors in this de-facto Russian Republic.  But the real bad news here is that while I am still going to be blog-type-thinging, I definitely need to scale this motherfucker back.

I am going back to a posting schedule.  I was thinking Fridays (but then it might like the title!), but also Saturdays and Sundays.   I just have too many other things I need/want to do when I have any limited energy to be wasting hours and hours of the day carefully crafting these magical, life-changing words for you day in and day out.

So…  let’s try to catch you up since I last posted.  Let’s see…

Trump should be impeached and if he isn’t, the GOP is just as guilty of treason as he is.  But I think I have been saying that for some time now.  Despite it being fake news, it is very real treason.

My life has done a complete 180 (with exception of my health, that’s still an issue) since relocating.

The AHCA has passed the House and if it resembles anything close to what the Senate comes up with then people will get desperate and do desperate things.

My area is in a housing bubble.  Most of the country is.  It’s fucking ridiculous.

It’s hot today.  Too hot.  It’s only going to get hotter coming up.  I think I need to get air conditioning clothes.

Um…  I guess that’s about it for now.   I’ll be back Friday, like the title of this-here blog-type-thing.  Might stalk all your shit in the meantime.

Peace be with you.  (And also with you.)

Last One Of These

Hello dear reader(s)!

For the last time, stop reading in!!!!

I recently published a post I had written a year earlier.  A whole year.  I wrote it about a person who helped me feel again when I didn’t think it was possible.  She knows who she is, I am certain of it.  But do you?

No.

Do the feelings still ring true?  That, quite frankly, is none of your damn business.

Do you know what makes for things I like to read?  Emotion.  Real, raw, actual emotion.  It is the same in the music I like to listen to, or the art I like to look at.

Here is a poll, that may help me illustrate my point.

Now, If you want to know something, you could probably just ask me.  Assuming things about my life, and my feelings, isn’t helping you or anyone else.  It sure isn’t helping me.

If you don’t like the things I write, it is simple…don’t read them.  If you are going to try to play detective, just ask me.  I am pretty honest about those things.

Here are some things I am going to be upfront about right now though, just to put your mind at ease:

  • I do not have a crush on anyone I have had an adult physical relationship with.  I have made the mistake of trying to walk down the same path again.  It didn’t go well.  I am not interested in repeating the same steps that didn’t lead anywhere good the first time.  That said, I do like most of you as friends, and very much want to be friends of those who are in my life.
  • I love a lot of people.  I am in love with nobody.  Except me.  Because, I mean, come on…
  • The things I write about, including “obsessions” are not at all all-consuming  They just make for better writing.  I could write about switching my auto insurance, meeting a new friend for pool, or signing up for a new health plan, but that is not nearly as fun as writing about deep, passionate connections and soul-mates.
  • I am sick to death of this  I might not share these on social media anymore if you all can’t stop assuming.
  • I can change my mind  As I am sure most of you can.  What I wrote two days ago might be exactly the opposite of how I feel today.  So even when you do guess correctly as you are trying to fill in the details of things I leave out, you can only assume that you were right about what I wrote at some point in my life.
  • I am very good at shutting things off  Even though I believe love is forever, I never want someone who has made it clear they don’t want me to want them.  They don’t need me to need them.  They wouldn’t love for me to love them.  They aren’t begging me to beg them.  (I had to, sorry.)  The point is, I do not stay interested in someone who has made it clear they aren’t interested in me.  If that doesn’t give you peace of mind here, I don’t know what will.
  • If you want to know about me, just ask me  Really.  I only hide things on here for the sake of other people’s privacy.  I am not really secretive.

These posts bore me.  If you all want to be my friends, then you should talk to me directly.  If you can’t do that, I don’t know what to tell you.

I am not going to stop writing from the heart.  I couldn’t even if I tried.

 

My Helpful Guide

Hello dear reader(s)!

As you know MyFridayBlog™ has reached a level of popularity few would have thought possible back when I first started this with an empty shoe box, a red guitar, three chords, and the truth.  For many posts, my only reader was my mom, and now my readership has likely tripled (most days) to where I am pretty certain that it isn’t just her reading under different names.  I don’t need to tell you, that a three-fold increase to a total of three people is likely unprecedented in such a short amount of years.

So how did I do it?   How did I take my readership from one family member to as many as one family member and two other people?

The answers are many, but the keys to my massive popularity are hard work, dedication (except when I’m not really feeling it or have something better to do), a dash of cinnamon, and not believing in Writer’s Block.

“But Josh,” I imagine you ask, but am certain deep down that you just don’t give a shit, “How do I not believe in Writer’s Block?”

To which I reply, “Oh silly imaginary you, you just simply don’t care what kind of crap you foist upon your dear reader(s).”

Let me give you an example:  Yesterday, I was in a pissy mood.  Had I written an actual post, it would have been very angry and likely would have gotten me in trouble with my friends, family, cats, the government, Monsanto, and my basement slave.  I had plenty I could write about, but it would have had very real-world (find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real) repercussions (percussion again) that I simply didn’t want to face.  So what did I do?  I hit you all with a half-ass post wherein I just shared some stuff off of the Tubes of You so as to avoid trouble in my life.  And guess what?  Some poor suckers still viewed it.  You see, it’s that easy!

But you can’t always just write a half-ass post wherein you share songs from the Tubes of You, (even though some blogs seem to do nothing but, lately) and expect to maintain a decent level of readership.  So what do you do, hot shot?  What do you do?

Never fear, my dear reader(s), you have come to the right place.  Because out of the generosity of my heart, I have decided to impart to you my helpful guide for finding topics to write about.

  • Try the mundane  Just because your life is boring, does not mean that you can’t write about it.  I have written about how boring my life is on more than one occasion, and some masochist has still read them.  Perhaps they just need to feel like they are more exciting than someone else, in which case, they have come to the right place.
  • Write about television and/or movies  I could write about how I have not seen an episode of Game Of Thrones and am purposely avoiding it until some of the hype dies down because I hate things that are overly popular even if it is a quality show.  I could tell you that I intend to catch up later, once I move because I can feel its popularity beginning to wane, and then I won’t have to be one of the hip kids.  I can tell you how I have not seen more than clips of Breaking Bad too, but intend to watch that as well.
  • Write about your mood  Shortly after I posted yesterday, something happened to put me in a much better mood even though I still hadn’t gotten any more sleep which effectively made my post moot.  I could tell you that the thing that happened is a secret and that I’ll never tell until I publish my memoir which won’t be until long after anyone would care, so at least a few hours from now, and likely more.  I could tell you how my attempts at letting go of my bad mood and focusing on the good things, (allowing them to change my mood), makes me look a pubescent teenager in terms of mood swings.
  • Try food  I made a white mocha.  It is good.  I let the coffee run too long and almost ran out of steam for my milk, but it heated up just as it was running out.  I am having toasted brioche because I ran out of bagels and forgot to pick more up at the store.  For the white mocha recipe, I used the following.  White mocha stuff.  Espresso.  Almond Milk.  Water.  Steps:  Put water in the machine.  Put espresso in the espresso thingy (technical term).  Tamp it down.  Put the thingy on the machine.  Brew that shit.  When the brewed espresso reaches your desire level, turn that shit off.  Put white mocha in your cup, and pour the espresso on top.  I like to stir that shit.  Take your almond milk and put that shit in a steaming pitcher.  Put that shit under the nozzle.  Turn on the steam.  Steam that shit.  Pour that shit into the coffee cup.  Enjoy that shit.  For the brioche recipe, I used the following.  Brioche bun.  Spread.  Steps:  Split the bun.  Put that shit in the toaster.  Toast that shit.  Take that shit out.  Open the spread of your choice.  Put that shit on the bun.  Enjoy that shit.
  • Write about politics or social issues  I’ve been trying to avoid this because of a need to get away from the stress involving that bullshit, but I realize that you can only ignore things for so long.  There is always something going on that you could post about if you pay attention.  In fact, stay tuned for an upcoming piece on intersectionality that promises to be at least a little better than this one.  (Promise does not constitute a guarantee, not valid in all states and territories, void where prohibited.)
  • Write a helpful guide  You could write a guide for something as stupid as what to write about.  The possibilities are endless!

What about you dear reader(s)?  Is there anything you would like to add?  Comment about it at your peril!!!  Muahahahaha!

Random Thoughts Of A Morning Josh

Hello dear reader(s)!

It is morning, and I have had my coffee.  Which given the way my tummy feels (yes, I said tummy, gotta problem with that?), maybe I shouldn’t have had any.  But then again, since I really can’t even remember my name without it, I suppose the coffee was necessary.  So because I have had my coffee, and because my tummy kept me awake much of the night, I am having trouble focusing on just one thing.  Lucky for you, that means another variety post!!!!

Oh boy.  I can’t wait,” you say extremely sarcastically.

“Fuck you, Daria!” I reply, obviously tired of your shit.

So let’s get started, shall we?

Yeah dude, whatever.

  • Coffee  Coffee is love.  Coffee is life.  Without coffee, there is no Josh.  Am I an addict?  Well, only the way one is addicted to air, or water.  Show me something that says the amount of coffee I consume is more harmful than beneficial, and I might think about possibly, maybe trying to stop.  But there would have to meetings, where they serve coffee.
  • The NBA Finals  Is there a way for both teams to win?  I have Cleveland love.  My grandma lived in Cleveland.  Much of the family on my mother’s side still lives in and around Cleveland.  I like LeBron James just fine too.  But the Warriors won 73.  They came from down 1-3 in the conference finals to win against the Oklahoma City Team Thieves.  #Sonics4LifeButNotEnoughToGetSexistAboutIt  And they’re just a hell of a lot of fun to watch.  Let’s have a tie!!!!

What do you think this is, soccer?” you ask with disdain.

“Well, they flop in both sports,” I reply before dropping the mic.

  • Tummy  So, apparently I either have low-grade food poisoning, or perhaps just a stomach bug.  I’m used to having a messed up system of digestion from the antibiotics and all the other crap I have been on, but the last two and a half days are taking things to a whole new level.  Gonna call the doctor soon, if things don’t calm down.  But the last thing I want to do is be admitted yet again.  I don’t have anything really funny to put in this topic, because it sucks big, floppy, donkey dick.
  • Sleep  My tummy has been making it hard to sleep.  When I do though, I am sleeping very hard and entering dreamland pretty quick.  That has been nice.  There is clearly only one solution to this issue, and that is coffee.  Coffee is love.  Coffee is life.
  • Kitty pills  Giving pills to cats is not easy.  There needs to be liquids or something else because this shit is ridiculous.  I am going to pick up some pill pockets (What are you gonna pick?  Pill Pockets!) today and see if he will just eat the damn things so I don’t have to plan my life around administering multiple pills twice daily to a cat who understandably wants to escape the burrito and claw my eyes out.  #EscapeTheBurrito
  • Bernie Or Bust  I am not.  I have no problems with the people wanting to vote for someone they want to, rather than a lesser of two evils.  I have said time and time again how much I do not like the politics or some of the things Hillary Clinton has done.  But some of these Bernie Or Bust people are like fucking cult followers.  In order to get the nomination, he would need a blowout in California.  A blowout.  It doesn’t look likely at all.  You can hope, but seriously, acting like Clinton is done is getting stupid.  You can rant all you want about how undemocratic closed primaries are, how there were extremely questionably elections, and how the party has been on her side from the beginning.  I will agree with you on every one of those of those points.  It sucks.  Parties choose the nominee, and the people are allowed to vote in tightly controlled and tilted circumstances so they can feel a connection to who they anoint.  It is shitty, and undemocratic, and awful.  And writing in Bernie Sanders if he isn’t the nominee won’t do a damn thing to change it.  It won’t send a message, except that Donald Trump and his insanity is the next President.  If you live in a solid state blue state, and want to send a message, help break the two-party and lock and vote for Jill Stein of the Green Party since her positions are nearly identical to Bernie’s anyway.  If you live in a swing state, I urge you to consider your vote the last of defense against a fascist, narcissistic demagogue.  Plus, if the DNC thinks you’ll never get on board in the Fall, why would they possibly let you have any platform influence?
  • Wearing Orange  I have no issues with people choosing to wear certain colors on a day to bring awareness to things.  Such a simple thing to do that might not solve anything but could help start a conversation.  Today, people are wearing orange to raise awareness of gun violence.  Sounds fine to me.  Let’s have the conversations.  They won’t be easy.  But what will be even more difficult than those conversations?  Finding something orange.  I mean, really?  Orange?  Why didn’t you pick baby shit green?  Piss yellow.  Yeah.  Orange.

Well, I’d apologize for the rambling and boring nature of this post, but we all know I don’t actually give a fuck, right?  Y’all love me anyway.

What about you, dear reader(s)?  What random thoughts are on your mind today?

Thanks For Your Patience!

Hello dear reader(s)!

I am still here.  I appreciate your patience.  I still read you all when I can, and I am currently writing a ton of things that I will sort between what can be published here and what can’t.

I hope to return to posting soon, within the next couple of days.  Until then, happy posting!

Welcome New Reader(s)!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Recently, I have received some lovely new reader(s) who came to me from one or more of my more recent posts.  And for that, I apologize.

What?  Why?

Maybe you started following this here blog-type-thing from a post that made you chuckle and thought it was a humor blog.  It isn’t.

Or perhaps you read one of my posts about an important social issue and figured it was a blog of importance in the realm of social justice.  It isn’t.

Or perhaps you came here from one of my fiction posts (doubtful, but hey, thanks) and thought I was some kind of author.  Yeah…not so much.  Maybe one day?  Who knows?  “We do Josh, never,” you answer with disdain.

While I do occasionally write a post with an attempt (notice the word “attempt”) at humor, and I occasionally write a post about an important social issue of importance to myself socially, and I will occasionally write a post that is either a shot story or a short story series, and while sometimes I might even throw in a cheesy and/or sappy post about cheese and/or sap…my blog-type-thing is really none (or all, depending on your perspective) of those things.  It is my word vomit.  Thoughts and ideas floating around inside my head that I simply must put on a page and share with the world (call me a masochist?) or else suffer a complete and total breakdown.  You will not like every post I write (like this one) and that’s cool.  Stick around and we might again get to something you don’t despise (as opposed to this one).

Occasionally, my posts just babble on about my life.  Why?  Because it is my blog-type-thing and I’ll babble if I want to.  Babble if I want to.  Babble if I want to.  You would babble too if this blog-type-thing belonged to youuuuu.

Like today, for example.  I was planning on going to the street fair (which is good, because we need more fair streets, as they are so unfair) but it is supposed to be raining all day.  Rain typically doesn’t stop me (because I love the rain) but when wandering a street fair and it goes two days with tomorrow not forecasting rain all day, I have opted to select to attend the fair on the morrow.  The last time I went to that particular event, I had a great time.  Hopefully I am in for more of the same.

Also, life just seems to be going pretty damn great right now.  Things are in motion that could very well be the biggest thing since sliced tomatoes!  (I’d say sliced bread, but that’s been done to death.)

I am being medicated for my lung nodules and do not expect to need surgery.  We shall see, but I am hopeful.

I am about to watch the FA Cup Final on the telly.  For those of you unaware of the FA cup, it is a UK soccer tournament that allows many, many teams to compete to win.  It isn’t just the top-flight level.  This year there were 736 clubs and now we are down to two.  The cool thing about it is that even the little guys have a technical chance to take down the big Premier League clubs (although that doesn’t typically happen).  But the two teams playing in the final were not the top two of the Premier League this year, so that is pretty cool.  I am rooting for Crystal Palace in this game, for reasons completely unknown to me.

After that I might get up and clean/rearrange my room.  It isn’t suiting me right now.  I need to get it some kind of organized because it seems once I do clean it is just messy again right away.  Of course, it could be because I have a bad habit of just throwing shit in there (not literal shit, because EW!), but I think if it were better organized this would be less of an issue.  I am especially annoyed with all the papers from my insurance company that say absolutely nothing except for being sure to include my personal identifying information.  I am getting sick of needing to gather and shred so many trees.  Monthly statements for my prescriptions, multiple pages long, quarterly statements for my prescriptions that are also multiple pages long, and not a single EOB for a medical claim yet.  Gee, thanks.  And extra special thanks for making sure to include my name, address, and member ID stamped on every single page for no fucking reason.  I also need to gather up the clothes that wore out right after I moved them up here and take them someplace that can make sure the fibers get reused.  They are taking up valuable space in the bottom of my laundry basket and making it unnecessarily difficult to find the clothes I do wear.

Other than that, I might just text some friends.

I understand this post is rather is meaningless, but it is Saturday here, and isn’t that what the weekends are for?

Besides, I thought it only fair to properly warn my new reader(s) of the kind of inane bullshit that occasionally appears on this here blog-type-thing.  And what better way to warn than to provide an example?

What about you dear reader(s)?  Any wonderful or not-so-wonderful but still nice plans for the weekend?