Hello dear reader(s)!
I am not a REAL man! The comments section on the intertubes certainly seem to think so, anyway. I think every dumb fucking redneck in the country has told me that since Hollywood has been blowing up about sexual assault and harassment, although it has been going on really ever since I first suggested people are their own business. It is because I believe women are treated like fucking shit in our society and it’s not even right, or natural given their importance to humanity. I guess being against sexual assault and pedophilia is also a bad thing, according to these REAL men. And apparently, being sex-positive, for equality, and for body autonomy is an automatic revocation of my REAL man card. (Because only men decide what REAL men are, and if those REAL men are lucky, they get cards. It’s like Valentine’s Day in elementary school, but for misogynists.)
I know I am not totally above the fray. I am certain that in my early teen years I went along with the lewd comments about the girls who were my friends. I probably said a few things to fit in, too. Every boy did. And I know for a fact that the word “fag” was a regular part of my vocabulary before I even knew what it was supposed to mean. It’s what was expected. That belief that anything but the patriarchal view of masculinity is wrong happens to be everywhere, and is being promoted. I’ve never whipped out my cock to masturbate in front of the girls I liked, I’ve never grabbed them by their pussy, or any other body part, I’ve never assaulted them, but did I make some feel uncomfortable? I’ve never hit a kid for being gay, or even openly purposely made fun of anyone who my peers suspected, but did I ever help make them feel unaccepted? I’ve never been called out for that, but that means nothing, given how normal this behavior is within our society.
I would say that it is pretty likely that I have offended someone before with a little too many “jokes”, or a little too much “flirting”. If any woman from my past is reading this, and I made you feel uncomfortable, I cannot express how sorry I am. I would say that is pretty likely I have offended people with a non-textbook definition of patriarchal gender roles and orientations when calling someone a “fag” for something completely unrelated to my perception of their or any bystanders’ heteronormativity. For that, I also offer my sincerest apologies.
However, unlike the REAL men, I grew the fuck up. I learned it was wrong, and adjusted my attitude to understand that we are not entitled to anyone’s bodies, attention, time, or anything else they choose not to give us. It didn’t take me until a media storm to realize it, or decades into adulthood when I should have fucking known better.
I’m not a REAL man because I accept the truth. It is a simple truth, but because of our fucked-up society, it is actually quite controversial. That truth is, “People don’t fucking belong to you.”
Anyway, because I say this, I guess I am not a REAL man. Apparently, I am a libtard, sissy, beta, cuck. In fact, this has become a common “insult” string from the alt-right (Nazis) to any man who doesn’t believe that hyper-“masculine” white males are superior to anyone else.
Hmmm, okay, let’s break this “insult” down.
Libtard. This is a combination of the word “liberal” (fuck you, I’m a Democratic Socialist, thank you), and “retarded”. By retarded, I can only assume they mean the pejorative for someone who is less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is usual for ones age. It is important to note the people who use this word likely had to look up “pejorative” to even understand what I just said.
Sissy. Well, I seriously doubt they mean a little sister (which I am not), so I am guessing they mean a weak and effeminate man, or someone into that particular kink. So, to the first, yes, I am weak. Surviving something that would make you put a bullet through your head can do that to someone. Effeminate? Well, I think most traits are human traits, so I am not even really sure that what means. I would say based on the incorrect and arbitrary assignment of those traits to prospective genders and the constant reinforcement of those assignments in all of our culture, I likely still end up with more traditionally “masculine” traits than the falsely named “feminine” ones. Or perhaps they mean transvestite or transexual, which I am not, to either. However, I fail to see the insult there. So what if someone is, or is not any one or all of those things?
Beta. Oh don’t even get me started on this one. I’ll just let Adam Conover help me out on this one.
Cuck. Of course. It’s like the Nazi insult du jour. This word comes from the fetish of cuckolding, which for those who pretend to have never heard about it, (search tracking proves you’re probably lying), is basically a fetish wherein a man chooses to remain faithful to his significant other as he accepts her having sex outside the relationship, or encourages it. There are various degrees of this fetish, and variations to include all partnered sexes and orientations, but it boils down to consensual activity between adults. The fact that these people who use that as an insult typically support Presidential candidates that brag about sexual assault, or Senatorial candidates that are alleged pedophiles, should speak volumes. Bottom line, I do not find this word to be insulting. Just because I hope to be my love’s everything, doesn’t mean I disrespect those who would rather their significant other has more than they can offer.
So even though I fit none of the “insults” above, the fact of the matter is that I do not think any of those things are something insulting anyway. (Except maybe the “libtard”, because liberals abandoned labor in favor of corporate cash, and I don’t think anyone should made fun due to developmental differences.) The point is, if these REAL men think that anyone who fits how they use these words should be insulted, it also means that a REAL man must be a misogynist, homophobic, puritanical douche-canoe.
If being a REAL man means that I need to think that women are required to give us anything they do not wish to do so freely, or that anything we have mislabeled as feminine is to be derided, or that sexual activities between consenting adults are any of our business, then those REAL men can take their little man cards and send them to the people who are worried that they may be be forced into the unisex bathrooms in the FEMA camps during Operation Jade Helm with only their precious man cards to save them from the possibility of having to pee next to a transexual made in a liberal conspiracy to end all males using chemtrails.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go to a DNC donor meeting in my pink, frilly dress. I’ll just stand there really passively while a fictional alpha man fucks my significant other with his AR-15. Then I’m running right home to cash my check from George Soros!
I would feel much less ashamed about any of that than I would for thinking that those who don’t fit some bullshit version of masculinity is inferior. Long story slightly less long, I would rather be a liberal, sissy, beta, cuck, than a racist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, white-trash, ignorant, Trump supporting asshole, any day of the week. Especially on Sundays, because Jesus.