Pagans Can Suck Too

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think all Christians like all other Christians or the things other Christians do?  Do you think all Muslims like all other Muslims and all they do?  If you do, I can show you actual wars that would suggest otherwise.

I am a Pagan.  I am an eclectic Pagan, who does not belong to a coven.  I do (when I can), belong to a group that celebrates the Sabbats together, however, we all have pretty different beliefs and ideologies.  The great thing about being a Pagan, is that most of us are not trying to convert each other into believing the same.

However, that isn’t to say that there aren’t things that other Pagans do that annoy the shit out of me.  It isn’t to say that there aren’t some Pagans who I wish would call themselves something else because I’d rather not associate with them.

So, because I like lists, for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, let me list those Pagan-type people who annoy the living fuck out of me.

  1. Fucking racist Pagans  This is pretty prevalent in the Norse Pagan groups.  #NotallNorsePagans.  It, of course, is not everyone who is down with the legends of Odin, but substantially too many.  You aren’t superior, you’re not a fucking viking, and I saw your stupid asses on the news marching in Charlottesville today, and trust me, you look like fucking inbred hillbillies that couldn’t fucking lift a toy hammer, let alone carry Thor’s.  I hope you all die.  I’m not kidding.  See a Nazi, shoot a Nazi.  More on the hate crime and our inept President’s piss-ant response tomorrow when I calm down so I don’t say anything that could warrant a visit to my home by the Secret Service.
  2. Believe in anything just because it isn’t mainstream Pagans  If I hear one more thing about Mercury retrograde, I am going to do something that I haven’t quite thought of yet, but trust me, it will be bad.  Mercury never goes retrograde.  It appears to go retrograde.  There is no change in the gravitational pull from Mercury during this time.  Furthermore, just because Mercury was the Roman god of travelers and transporters of goods, does not mean that a planet appearing to reverse orbit (once again, it does not) will affect your travel plans or communication during this time.  Even if the orbit did reverse (it is an optical illusion), the gravitational effect on you from Mercury would be less than that of a car passing you on the street, given the distance you are from that planet.  Just because something is mystical and was once believed, doesn’t mean it still should be.  After all, some believed the Earth was flat, only fucking idiots like Tia Tequilia believe that now.
  3. Path conversion Pagans  Your path is not mine.  If you want to join a converting religion, why aren’t you a Catholic?  We can agree to disagree, no matter what the pope says.  If you need to beat people onto your path, your path is probably made up of horseshit.
  4. Lifestyle conversion Pagans  I am sex-positive.  My path is sex-positive.  A whole lot of Pagan paths are.  But not all.  Everyone’s path is different and that should be okay.  Additionally, many Pagan paths are cool with polyamory.  I am cool with polyamory, even though I am not polyamorous and am quite happy being monogamous.  If you aren’t cool with my monogamy, I am not cool with you.  So go fuck yourself, or your partner, or your group, or nobody.  Up to you.
  5. Lazy Pagans  These are the Pagans who like to preach things then do absolutely fuck-all about it.  For example, a while ago, my little city had its LGBTQ Pride Day.  It was fun.  A whole lot of major Pagan paths, and covens, are very vocal about supporting LGBTQ rights.  In most of the paths, it is pretty clear that joining the masculine and feminine energies are energies, and not necessarily males and females.  Indeed, many paths speak of the energies existing within everyone.  (Something I strongly believe.)  And yet, on the local LGBTQ Pride Day, did I see booths for Pagan groups and their covens?  Nope.  Didn’t see any in the bit of parade I watched either (though admittedly, I may have missed them if they marched since I didn’t see the whole thing.)  But do you know what I did see?  Christian churches (The ones who live by a book that calls a man lying with another man an abomination).   They marched with LGBTQ-friendly church banners, and had booths at the event.  If Chrisitans can show up in support when their own book dislikes something, maybe the people who think it isn’t a problem could show up too.
  6. Pagans who say one thing, and do another  Like the ones who constantly whine about not being taken seriously yet vote for Christian Supremacists.  Or the ones who deny climate-change.  “I love nature, as long as it drowns coastal cities and dries up crops.”
  7. Hollywood Pagans  (This doesn’t mean Pagans who might live in Hollywood.)  Guess what, I have also seen The Craft.  It’s actually a pretty decent movie.  I saw Practical Magic.  Less decent in my opinion, but taste is subjective, I guess.  I have seen Hocus Pocus.  Funny as hell, but not a guide to anything.  I also like Buffy, but I can guarantee you that Willow and Tara are not your typical Pagan.
  8. Light-only Pagans  It’s okay to get down.  It’s okay to embrace the darkness every once in a while.  And, in my opinion, it is okay to do what is necessary to keep someone from harming you.  While I do try to live according to the Wiccan Rede (even though I am not Wiccan), I will take leeway when harming someone is in my own defense or the defense of others.  This is my path, and if you take issue with it, maybe you should look more closely at yours.  An it harm none, do as ye will, but I guarantee you, I take no issue in harming a Nazi.
  9. Pick-up Pagans  As a male, who is attracted to females, I can safely say that I am usually in the minority in most Pagan circles.  There are often a lot of females around at any events I attend.  Many are single, and I would be blind to be unaware of this fact.  However, not once have I, nor should anyone else attend these functions for the sole purpose of hitting on other Pagans.  Sure, you may connect with a Pagan, (similar interest can do that), and maybe something will grow from there, but if you are using your Pagan status as a dating service, you’re just a desperate sleeze.  My love is a Pagan, but us getting together has more to do with seat belts than our spirituality.  That was like a bonus.
  10. Pagans of convenience  These are the Pagans who join up to rebel or be different, but really are not at all on a spiritual path.  They will drop out when faced with any pressure from the overwhelming masses who do not understand why anyone in this nation isn’t Christian, or at the first sign of hardship in life.  “It didn’t work, I am going to go back to believing in a zombie.”  They will decide all Pagans are bad when they are confronted with any of the above types of annoying Pagans.  They will claim they grew-up.  They were never interested in being Pagan, only in being part of clique.

In any group, there are people you would rather not associate with.  It is important to remember this.  Not all Christians are homophobic assholes.  Not all Muslims are terrorists or women abusers.

But as soon as we fail to call-out those who we feel do not represent us, we might as well join them.

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

5 thoughts on “Pagans Can Suck Too”

  1. Your writing have strength but it miss a lot of knowledge. I respect your point of view but I must disagree about everything that you had wrote above. If I was not a sick man like you searching more interesting battles to fight I would easily refute your thoughts. But I can extend for you my hands and share some thoughts with you. Of course, if you are not an arrogant and little-minded man to decline my offer. I’m always looking to the best in each one.

    (…) From the most remote times, visionary women prophesied under trees. Each tribe had its great prophetess, like the Voluspa of the Scandinavians, with her school of Druidesses. But these women, at first nobly inspired, became ambitious and cruel. The good prophetesses changed into evil magicians. They instituted human sacrifices, and the blood of their Herôlls flowed continuously over the dolmens, to the sinister chants of the priests and the approving shouts of the ferocious Scythians.(…)
    (…) At that time each white tribe had its rallying sign in the form of an animal which symbolized its chosen qualities. Some of the chiefs nailed cranes, eagles or vultures to the framework of their wooden houses; others, the heads of wild boars or buffalo. This is the origin of the coat-of-arms. But the chosen emblem of the Scythians was the bull, which they called Thor, the sign of brute force and violence. Ram took the figure of the ram, the courageous, peaceful leader of the flock, in place of the bull, and made it the rallying sign of his followers. This emblem, established in the midst of Scythia, became the signal for a great clamor and an actual revolution in men’s thought. The white people divided into two camps. The very soul of the white race was split in half, in order to free itself from animality, so that it might climb the first step of the invisible sanctuary which leads to divine mankind. “Death to the Ram!” shouted Thor’s supporters. “War on the Bull!” shouted Ram’s friends. A fearful war was imminent. (…)
    (…) Human sacrifice was woman’s revenge against man, when she sank the knife into the fierce male tyrant’s heart. Outlawing this horrible cult and reestablishing woman in man’s estimation in her divine function as wife and mother, Ram made her the priestess of the hearth, the guardian of the sacred fire, the equal of her husband, the one who joined with him in calling upon the souls of the ancestors.(…)
    (…) And those few priestess and followers who did not want to submit to a new order not to make human sacrifices, they hid in the forests of central Europe. In time they became legends and ghosts. Caravans of travelers reported in their travels that they have heard some cries of despair lost in the darkness of the night of those times that were forgotten (…)
    (…) The Greek knew and felt the horrors and the fears of existence: in order that he might somehow live, he had to place there, between him and his life, the resplendent creation of the olympic gods (…)
    (…) The game of Zeus, that great child of the world, and the eternal play of destroying and forming worlds. He did not need men, nor for his knowledge; He saw no value in all that could be learned from them, nor what other wise men before him were engaged in learning (…)
    (…) What if I told you that this God of humanity, with the most varied names, powers and attributions, is nothing more than a conjecture? Who would you drink without dying all the torments of this conjecture? This God invented by humanity, at a certain moment in your history, is a thought that twists everything that is fixed. This must mean that all your historical dates, time itself, after all, would be nothing more than a lie … all this teaching of the one, of the full, of the immovable, of the satiated, of the immutable Is without any doubt the most inhuman invention created by mankind. However, for you, discover the true origin of man, the earth and the entire universe are many of the major and internal transformations that you must face. You must renounce all that is happiness for man, you must intimately, in a profound semantic sense, die and be born again to be able to contemplate the fullness of Truth. This will have separated me from God and from the gods. What, then, was there to create if there were gods? And if for a moment were possible fears contemplating the alleged and presumed descendants and heirs of the creators of this great lie all them would die as spasms of laughter, debauch and scorn by these too superlatively normal human gods, without powers, without mysteries, without geniuses and Clouds Colored. All the gods that have died are no more gods than you. And you can also take into account these unsuccessful sketches of deities.
    Listen to me! Transcend yourself and for sure, you can become more god than all the gods created by humanity. Transcend yourself, and finally, you can be in the fulness of creation and enter into communion with the universe. Transcend, do it. Beyond what already exists. Do not demand less from yourself. When you get to this point, I assure you that you will unleash the feeling inside you that you have taken to your destination. You will contemplate, finally, the One who is dispersed, divided and maimed by all the places of creation (…)

    To finalize and be a buzzkiller instead of saying “You know nothing, Jon Snow!”:

    “This would be the destiny of man, if he were an animal that seeks to know; The truth would lead him to despair and annihilation, the truth of being eternally condemned to untruth.”

    Very truly your,
    Jim

    Like

  2. I see your points, some of which I’ve witnessed first-hand.
    Some of us are astrology nuts, you know.
    I think the overall gist is that people are people, and we can’t like them all, no matter how we label them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like some things in Astrology, but Mercury retrograde trope is annoying to me. I actually like the psychological aspect of Astrology and the traits assigned to signs I believe may be real but are more likely due to social suggestion than planetary alignment.

      Liked by 1 person

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