The N-Word

Hello dear reader(s)!

Do you think it is ever appropriate to use the N-word?  I do.  In fact, I think we all need to use the word more often.  I don’t think that we need to be as afraid of the word as we are.  I think I am going to use it right now.

No.

See?  That wasn’t so hard, was it?  Let’s do it again!

No.

What word did you think I meant?

That word?  Are you fucking crazy?!?!  I’m not using that word.  I was talking about the word “No”.  It starts with “N” too.  And we don’t use it enough.

It is okay to say no.  It really is.

Sometimes people ask you do something you are not comfortable doing.  You say yes, because you don’t want to seem rude.  You need to say no.  Sometimes people ask you to do something that you may not be capable of doing, or that you will not do your best.  Sometimes your boss wants you to take on an extra project and you’re already buried with your job and maybe some other extra thing you did.  It is okay to say no.  I mean, you might not want to to just say, “No.”, but you can say, “You know I already have this going, I’m waiting on (Insert someone slowing you down) over in Receivables to sign off so I can cut this and I am already taking on (Someone else’s thing that you decided to help out with), so I do not think I will be able to get to that in the time and quality it deserves, you may want to see if someone else can handle it.  And at that point, your boss may tell you to do it anyway, and that is when you can negotiate on moving other things around, giving you more time, or more money.  But if you just said, “Okay.”, you would be kinda fucked right now, huh?

I’ve actually been on kind of the opposite kick lately.  Especially when someone offers some fun time or experience, I have been challenging myself to say yes more often.  As long as I think I am capable, I have been saying yes to offers to go hang out, or have a party, or other fun experiences.  Even if it is something that may not be what I know I like, I have been saying yes in order to experience more and try more things.   It has been a lot of fun.  But I always reserve the right to say no.  The past few days, I have had that horrible sinus issue.  It is quite a bit better today, fortunately, but if anyone would have asked me to go hang out, I would have said no.  I wouldn’t have felt bad about it.  I get tired, and I need to take care of myself, especially when I am sick.

“No” needs to be respected.  Consent applies to everything.  It isn’t just about sex.  When someone says no, we need to understand that there is nothing wrong with the person who is saying it.  No, they may not want to go drinking.  No, they may not feel up for having sex that night.  No, they may just want to stay home and take care of themselves.  No, they might have accidentally fallen down a flight of stairs and really need you to come take them to the hospital but hopefully in that case they say would say more than “no”.  They do not owe us an explanation, although it can certainly be nice, especially if they need a ride to the hospital rather than whatever you asked them to do.

And “no” needs to be said.  Do not tell someone “sure” when you really mean “no”.  Do not make plans with someone you have no intention of keeping.  Things do come up.  I know.  I am a person who regularly says “yes” to things and later has to cancel because of some health concern.  I hate that.  My friends understand that it comes with me due to my issues.  But when I say “yes”, I always intend it to be “yes”.  I never say “yes” when I know it will become a “no”.

So get out there!  Use the N-word!  “No”!  Not the other one, geeze, did you even read this?  Don’t go use the other one.  Say “No”!

 

 

 

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

13 thoughts on “The N-Word”

  1. I have (less serious compared to others, but serious for me, so … semi-serious?) health issues too. I’ve learned to say “Maybe” to stuff that I know I want to do.

    I do feel the need to warn people – especially when I say “yes” – that if I wake up 24,538,388 times the night before & wake up feeling like sitting up straight is too painful, that “yes” will become a hard “no.”

    People still give me s*** about it (best friends aside, which is why they’re the “best”), unfortunately. I think some take it personally, which I try to tell them isn’t the case. Also, I know I’m the life of the party & it’ll be so dull without me (that’s how I justify them getting upset with me over something I can’t control at least).

    Gosh… what a great post. Obviously, it resonated with me! XD

    Liked by 1 person

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