‘ello dear reader(s)!
I apologize for my lack of posting yesterday, but for much of the day I was out doing this strange and exciting thing called having fun. It has been so long, I almost forgot what it was like. Today, I plan to also have fun. I am hoping that two days of fun in a row will not be too much for me to handle. I didn’t have that headache yesterday. I did end up with a different one, that was much more manageable, but I know exactly why that headache occurred, and it was not a big deal. So far today, there is no headache either. The songs of praise are already being written for this miraculous miracle for all of my mankind unto our blessed Josh.
Now, anyone who reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis is likely deeply troubled, but that is not important here. But anyone who regularly reads this here blog-type-thing on a regular basis knows that I do not place much stock in making changes at the new year. However, sometimes events conspire to change things, and to change you. If they coincide with the new year, then resistance is futile, and all your base are belong to us. Turn and face the change. Changes aren’t permanent, but change is. All that.
This year has been fucking odd so far. Like really, really strange. But in a good way. I have learned some things about people, about myself, and I have remembered some of the things that hard times have made me forget. I am damn optimistic in my ability to survive this world and the people in it, without becoming that which I hate in order to so. 3 days and one morning in, and it is like I am a new person. But I am not a new person, I am the person I used to be when I knew myself, plus a few bits of knowledge the past few experiences have taught me.
And now, direct from Missouri, in genuine text, I will share with you, for your entertainment, education, and enlightenment, the things I have learned and remembered already this year.
- I have value, whether others see it, or not To some, the issues I bring with me may make some decide that I am not worth the positive things I bring as well. Those people do not belong in my life, because I know my worth. If their priorities are not in line with mine, then they likely are not the people who will meet the requirements I have either. I am a motherfucking catch, and I know it by the smiles I bring to those in my presence. That is worth a lot.
- I can’t forget to trust my instincts If something doesn’t feel right, as if there are things left unsaid, I need to pay attention to that. No matter how plausible the excuse, no matter how empathetic I want to be to people. If I suspect there is more to the story, I must listen in order to protect myself.
- Lies by omission are just as bad as any other lie And dishonesty is not something I can tolerate in someone, no matter how I once felt.
- I can not base my happiness on others I create my own happiness, and in doing so, others might come to it naturally, or they might not, but it doesn’t matter as much because I am still happy.
- Closure is not always available And it is not always necessary. There are still lessons I can learn from anything without having an explanation of exactly what happened. The residual hurt, anger, or other feelings do not always need to be shared.
- Friends who listen and are available without motive are the best friends one can have Thank you to those who I have talked to for years, and to those who I have only recently began talking with. Your advice, and just knowing someone cared when a few things came down on me at the same time helped me get through. I will not forget.
- Never commit to someone who isn’t committed to me As much as I do not believe people are options, until I am someone’s priority, it is foolish to make them mine.
- As wonderful as connection over distance can still be, there is no substitute for a real in-person connection Or a few, as the case may be.
- Life is meant to be lived No more putting myself on hold for possibilities. No more hoping for things that do not present themselves. Have fun, and fun will be had.
- Not everyone who hurt me is a bad person In fact, most people aren’t. They have different priorities, different needs, different ideas of how to communicate with maturity. And therefore, if they belong with anyone, it is a different person.
These sound awfully relationshippy, don ‘t they? Well, they are. I still believe that our relationships are what make life worth living. They do not always need to romantic. They do not always need to be sexual. They do not always need to be conventional. They simply need to be fulfilling and anything that isn’t, is not worth your time and heartache.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my dear reader(s), I am off to build a few more relationships.