New Year, Same Me

Hello dear reader(s)!

Happy New Year’s Eve (or possibly New Year’s in certain parts of the world) to you!  So even though I have said numerous times that this year wasn’t the worst year I have had, it certainly doesn’t mean it was very good either.  And now that I’m here on the last day of it, I can’t help wishing it a hearty “Fuck you!”  and a “Don’t let the door hit your punk-ass on the way out!”

There are some changes I want to make in the upcoming year.  I do.  Not because it is a new calendar year, but changes I have wanted to make for a while.  Seasons generally mark change for me; the calendar only plays a roll in that it is what society operates on.  However, since our society generally marks time by that calendar, it is easy to divide that time into chapters of your life.  And truthfully, I can’t wait to close the book on this fucking chapter.

But unlike every single person who decides their lives will magically improve at the stroke of midnight, I am under no such illusions.  I understand that things take time.  I understand that in any story, what happened in the previous chapter will often affect the current one, and will occasionally make an appearance later in your story even if you thought your protagonist had left whatever it was behind.  I understand that at the core of me, I will never change.  And for most things, I am okay with that.

So here are some things I am hoping for in the upcoming year, that I will work toward.  Understanding of course, that they may not be possible, and that I may change my mind as is my right under Article V of the Fuck You, This is My Life, So I Can Change My Mind If Want To Act of 1947.

  • Build A Wall  Not around our border with our Southern neighbor, but around my personal life and feelings.  I recently had someone on my Facebook tell someone I do not communicate with about my intent (not plan) to relocate at some point in the coming year.  I really should not have even had that person as a friend, as there have been other indications that person may not be someone who is actually a friend to me.  I was intelligent enough to finally unfriend that person, but I really should have done it long before.  I have bee trying to believe the best about people for too long, and it is something I really need to stop.  I need to see people for who they really are.  Additionally, I think that I am too trusting and I am sick of getting burned.
  • Relocate  I know where I want to go.  That may not be in the cards.  I do not want to stay here.  I’ve tried to give this place a shot, but between all the meth addicts, the road ragers, the angry white man butthurt Trump voters, and the fundamentalist Chirstians, I think it is time to look at seeking asylum elsewhere.  Plus I am certain my headaches are at least partially caused by living here, and the weather is shit.  The only issue here, is that it might actually be easiest and most affordable to buy a house and stay here, than rent anywhere I want to be.
  • Pay off debts  Even the ones I know I do not owe.  Principle is not worth the zero credit score.  I need to just suck it up, and take care of it.  There are one or two instances where I still will not pay and am actually considering going to state insurance commissioners with my EOB’s so that they adjust their billing to what they are contracted with the insurance company I had, but for the most part, I will probably just pay them to get them off my report.
  • Get in a position to be able to either work, or learn a skill so I may work again later  This one may not be possible.  It isn’t entirely up to me.  It would be best if my B cell line came in, but the likelihood of that happening is pretty low.  There is a possibility that regular infusions of IVIG antibodies could allow me to head off some illnesses, but there would still be the issue that I can’t get vaccines and would still become neutropenic a little too often.  In addition, some things just make it difficult for me, like the hearing loss, the vision issues, the fact I need to drink and pee constantly because of my low kidney function, the stomach issues, the headaches, the fatigue, the required shit-ton of doctor appointments, and then there is the mental health issues.  It’s a lot of challenges, but if there is a workaround I can find, I really need to.  Nobody can live on what I bring in, even with roommates, in too many places now.  Plus, it gets fucking boring and is too isolating.  To that end, I have a shit-ton of upcoming doctor appointments, so maybe we can address enough issues that I can figure something out.
  • Meet new people  Genuinely.  I don’t want more Facbook friends.  I want more genuine friends I can go and hang out with.  Or have over to play Cards Against Humanity.  Or cook for, since buying food for one person is virtually impossible.  People who share some of my interests and have their own.  People without personalities are so 2016.
  • Fuck.  A lot  I kind of want to get over my need to have a genuine connection with someone before I have sex.  I’m not sure I can, but I want to.  I want to go whore it up.   I want to find a new basement slave.  My last one got an attitude.  I want to be one for some other lovely woman.  I want to have a few more on the side.  Enough connections.  Enough feelings.  Enough heartache.  Those things were so 2016.

I have to go get an MRI today!  What a fun New Year’s Eve!  Do you have any plans for today?  Any changes you would like to make?  Would love to hear about them.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

33 thoughts on “New Year, Same Me”

  1. That sucks that you have to get an MRI today.
    I would like to have friends I could hang out with, but friends seem to complicate my free time – and I think I use up all my friendliness and compassion at work, and have none left to share, other than with my family. I think I would like to lose weight, I have been so damn frumpy for way too long, things need to change, I am tired of being the invisible middle-aged woman. It sucks. So that is one big goal. The other is to finish my book that I started 6 months ago – it is halfway done. I think I will take Ballroom Dancing too, maybe Yoga. I suspect finishing the book will be the easiest goal to achieve. Good luck with all your resolutions!!!! And have a Happy New Year!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy New Year, amigo! Been great getting to know you through your blog this year. You’re a quality individual. Looking forward to raising hell in 2017 with this new administration coming in. Wishing you the very best of everything in this new year, especially the sex.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d like to make some friends to hang out with, too. Even just one. (That sentence sounds like I want to literally make them… Alas, I am not Dr. Frankenstein, so I imagine that would go poorly.) I hope good things are in your future!


  4. Those seem like really great goals!

    It sucks that you have debts on your record over some kinda clerical (or, G-d forbid, intentional) error! Fighting them is such an uphill battle – paying them off is way easier. I think some of these tw**-waffles do this sorta thing on purpose. Medical offices are some of the absolute worst, too. They know most people won’t fight them & they’ll just pay. I always make it a point to fight tooth-&-nail to make their day a little more difficult, because f*** them, that’s why.

    Medicare has this program called “Ticket to Work” that’s supposed to help people with disabilities get back to work & deal with the wage reporting stuff. I’ve got a lot of info bookmarked about working while on disability, if you’re interested.

    Perhaps you could also look into freelance writing or some other work-from-home option? The only part about that which sucks is the taxes. I worked freelance for a couple of years, so I’ve also got info on that too.

    I don’t like to be argumentative (that’s a lie), but aren’t your first goal & your fifth & sixth goal a little bit at odds? I’m not suggesting that you trust everyone implicitly & unconditionally, of course. Still, it’s hard to make friends & f*** buddies if you have a wall up. Just food for thought!

    Go forth, My WordPress Friend, who may wall me out shortly, & kick 2017’s a**. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can make fuck buddies with a wall up. In fact, in my experience, more people are attracted to those with walls than those who are open about their feelings. For real. They want to change them or some dumb shit. Anyway, the last one is kind of a joke. I just don’t think I’m capable of that. Who knows?
      Freelancing would be great, if I could actually do it. Ticket to work is a good option I have started to look into, but would still need someone who would take that ticket, since I am damned unreliable.
      And yeah, I am certain some of these billers are purposely trying to get more than they are contracted for, knowing that most people just pay. Fuck them. They make it more expensive for everyone. But I am at the point where I actually need okay credit, so we’ll see what I decide to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Some people have bad taste, that’s true. I hope – walls up or walls down – you find someone to help you out with #6.

        See, that’s what makes me think freelance writing might be good for ya – you can make your own schedule & you’re already putting out great written pieces on a regular basis. Maybe that Ticket to Work site has some writing gigs? Also, there are tons of websites for freelance writing gigs. Most of them pay dog s***, but you could build a portfolio.

        I’m sure you’ll find something that works, & people who are willing to work with your limitations.

        It’s totally up to you how you deal with those shady grifter medical billers. Whatever works best for you & makes your life easier. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha, thanks for hoping I fuck a lot. That’s just funny.
        Does that site have gigs? Cause shit, I’d totally do that.
        If like to fuck up all their credit reports, but that’s not really an option.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m kind of an anti-prude. I wish everyone good, consensual, sexy times with other adults for 2017 & beyond. If it makes people happy, & everyone is honest about their intentions, go for it! 🙂

        It has been a while since I looked at the Ticket to Work page (I think it’s safe to assume that’s the “site” to which you’re referring lol), but I know they had some work-from-home positions. These are, from my understanding, companies approved by TtW &/Medicare. I hope that means you’re less likely to get scammed, but no system is perfect for every person.

        If you can’t find something that appeals to you there, I could share some of my vast collection of bookmarked websites for freelance work. & we can talk about the wild world of freelance tax deductions. XD

        Oh man… I would freakin’ love to mess up the credit reports for people who try to screw with sick people. Especially those jerks who send incorrect info to collection agencies, who then use unethical means to try & get money from people who don’t owe. I’d like to make their credit score a big, fat 0. >.<

        (Sorry if you get this comment twice. My Internet decided to crash mid-comment-post. Grr.)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Just once it seems. 🙂
        I will have to work again. If I could get some work from home deal without a regular schedule, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
        I’m anti-prude too, it is just funny to hear anyone wishing me sex. Hahaha

        Liked by 1 person

      5. The schedule depends on the job. Some of the TtW companies, if I remember correctly, are data entry or customer service. They may require regular hours. You might be better off looking for post/article posting sites (usually a few dollars per 500ish words) where there might be a deadline, but no set hours.

        I’m sorry. That New Year’s wish was totally inappropriate. It should’ve been “I wish you lots of great, consensual sex in 2017.” Some say sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good… but it can definitely be bad. So, here’s hoping you have great pizza & great sex this year. 😉 😛

        Liked by 1 person

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