Holiday Offense

Hello dear reader(s)!

Happy whatever holiday you celebrate, provided you celebrate a holiday at this time of year.  If it offends you that I said that, rather than saying Merry Christmas, tough shit.  Your offense offends me.

I am not Christian.  I am Pagan.  Some would call me neopagan, and that’s probably true given that much of my belief systems are modern interpretations of ancient beliefs.  But they were ancient.  They predated Christianity.  And guess what?

Christmas as you know it, is pure Pagan.

I try not to get into the whole ownership of the holiday that much.  I couldn’t care less who celebrates or why.  I want them to be happy and healthy and have a great time.  I am not one of those pagans who tries to rewrite Christian Christmas songs with Pagan themes (that actually annoys me, we can write our own songs), or one who goes around and mentions all of the things that were stolen for this holiday from ancient Pagan people.  It doesn’t matter much to me.


Some idiot starts whining about a war on Christmas.

Then, it’s on.

Have you been to Nazareth?  Ever seen a fucking reindeer there?  How about pine and fir trees?

When people whine about the removal of “Christmas” trees at pubic places, and removing reindeer and snowflakes from Starbucks cups as some imagined war on Christmas and Christianity, only then do I feel the need to remind them that none of that was present at the birth of Jesus.  These symbols are the symbols from two different Pagan festivals that occurred at this time of year.  They were adopted by Christians in an attempt to placate those who did not want to convert to Christianity by allowing Pagan traditions to remain.

Here is a historical reenactment, with a little bit of artistic license, to illustrate the point:

Constantine:  Sup brah?  I’m gonna be Christian, because Jesus is just alright with me!  Jesus is just alright, oh yeah!  I don’t know what they may say!  I don’t know what they may do!  But Jesus is just alright with me!

Roman subjects:  Oh, that’s nice.

Constantine:  And since I am emperor, and you are all my subjects too, you are all now Christian too.

Roman subjects:  Dude, didn’t we crucify that guy?

Constantine:  No, that was ze Jews!  You are Christian now!

Roman subjects:  Jews in Rome though, right?  Romans.  Like us.

Constantine:  No.  Well, yes…now.  Because anyone in Rome is now Christian.

Roman subjects:  Dude, I don’t know.  We like our ways, and our gods.  Besides, we have parties to plan for them.  It’s gonna be a rager.  You can come, if you don’t harsh the vibe.

Constantine:  No!  No parties for the birth of the sun!  Jesus is king!

Roman subjects:  Aren’t you king?

Constantine:  No, I’m better.  I am emperor.

Roman subjects:  But we put all this work into our party!  We will fight to protect our parties!

Constantine:  Um…let’s just change the name and reasons.  We don’t really need to fight right now.  We are busy conquering.

Some Roman subjects:  Deal!

Other Roman subjects:  Hopeless war!!!!!

Look, I am not here to criticize your beliefs.  If you are Christian, and believe that he was born conveniently near the solstice even though your own religion’s biblical scholars dispute that timeline, so be it.

If you wish me a Merry Christmas, I will wish it back.  To me, Christmas is one great day in the celebration of the festival of Yule.  I celebrate it out of tradition since that was the big holiday I grew up with.

If you wish me a Happy Hanukkah, I will wish the same to you

If you wish me a blessed Yule, well, I just might think you are awesome.

But don’t think for a minute that I will remain silent as you claim that your ultra-dominant holiday is under attack because the symbols your religion stole are occasionally removed from public display so as to make others feel more included.

They aren’t yours to whine over anyway.

Featured Image has been shared by so many different groups on my Facebook, that I can not say who the creator was.  It wasn’t me.  



Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

8 thoughts on “Holiday Offense”

  1. Your post makes me feel both a little bit better & a little bit worse about my recent post complaining. I feel better that I’m not alone with my “War on Christmas” displeasure, but I feel worse that I don’t know a lot about Yule.

    I think I’ll do some research. It’s not your place to teach me. Then, maybe I’ll ask you a bit about your traditions. Just to annoy you. 🙂

    “If you wish me a blessed Yule, well, I just might think you are awesome.”

    Yaaaay! I might be thought of as awesome! 😀 I’ll treasure that potential positiveness forever. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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