Hello dear reader(s)!
I am lying in bed waiting for the Benadryl to kick in. I’m not feeling well, and if what I think I have is what I have, the Benadryl will start to help after a while. If not, it’ll knock me out.
As I’m lying here, there is a lot on my mind. There is one thing that ties all those thoughts together. That one thing is fear.
Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of wasting time searching for the wrong things. Fear of rejection. Fear of being judged harshly. Fear of disappointing someone. We all feel fear. Some of us feel it more than others.
I do my best to overcome my fears. I know my fears have held me back in the past. It’s a very fearful time right now. Some fears are justified, others probably aren’t.
The famous quote “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” from FDR isn’t exactly true. There is plenty to fear. Fear is a necessary survival tool. But sometimes our fears are unreasonable. Sometimes our fears do us more harm than good. Sometimes our past experiences have caused associations in our mind that can make us afraid of the harmless.
Today I was talking with a good friend of mine. She apologized to me for something that is nothing anybody should ever apologize for. I’m not singling her out, I’ve done it too. I bet you have as well. Why do we do that?
We are afraid someone is going to be upset with us for an everyday situation that may impact whoever we are talking to.
Chances are, someone has gotten upset with us in our pasts for something we had no control over, or lost priority to something more important. Someone got disappointed, and took it out on us.
So we apologize. Looking to avoid conflict, out of fear of that conflict. We take blame for blameless things.
We really shouldn’t. Just because some people have been selfish assholes, doesn’t mean everyone will be. It isn’t that easy to let go of, but I think it’s important to try.
And of course, sometimes disappointment is hard to hide. But when someone gets angry with you because their idea of their own importance was threatened… that’s not a person you want in your life.
So after you read this, take one small step to overcoming your fears. Try your hardest not to apologize for what isn’t your fault.
Don’t say sorry when someone looking down at their phone bumps into you. Don’t apologize for canceling plans if you have a valid reason. Explain, but don’t apologize. Don’t say sorry for disagreeing with someone. You’re entitled to your opinion as much as they are.
And when you hear someone apologize for what isn’t their fault, let them know it’s not necessary. Someone, somewhere made them feel like it was. Someone made them afraid. So let them know it isn’t necessary.
It isn’t much, but it is one little thing you can do to help make this world a less fearful place.
And I’m afraid we will need a lot of that.