My Unfriend

I wrote this one quite a while ago.  I didn’t publish it because it was very personal and the emotions of it were fresh and something I didn’t want to be feeling at that time.  I am sick today, life moves forward, and I am not in the mood for writing, so here it is today. 

Dear Unfriend,

I believe there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone.  I also believe in love at first sight.  Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.  I believe love lasts forever.  I have loved you since the moment I saw you.  I am not in love with you, but I could fall, if given the chance.

Which is why I will never be happy only being your friend.  I want to be your friend.  Friends make the best lovers.  But I will never only want to be your friend.  I desire you.  I want you.  I don’t need you, but I need you to understand I will always want to be with you.

I don’t want to break you down, and make you mine.  I want you as you.  Strong and independent.  It is so much more thrilling when you choose me.  I would not make you need me.  I want you to be fine on your own, choosing to be with me.

I will be there for you.  I will help you in any way you ask.  But I am not being nice.  I am not nice at all.  I don’t want to hurt you, or own you, but I want to make you lose yourself in me each time we are together.  If you knew the dreams I have of you, every single night, you would know my intentions are not pure.

I don’t mean to scare you.  I also want you to find yourself when you are with me.  I want to build you up.  Anyone can have the weak.  That isn’t good enough for me.  I want you to be strong and free to continually choose me.

I’ve made my attraction to you clear.  Now, I want to let you know that it will not go away.  I will always keep trying.  I am going to try to be with you.

If you can’t accept that, delete me from your life.  Otherwise, I hope you’ll allow me the opportunity to take this fall for you, when you are ready for something real.

 

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

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