I wrote this one quite a while ago. I didn’t publish it because it was very personal and the emotions of it were fresh and something I didn’t want to be feeling at that time. I am sick today, life moves forward, and I am not in the mood for writing, so here it is today.
I believe there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. I also believe in love at first sight. Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time. I believe love lasts forever. I have loved you since the moment I saw you. I am not in love with you, but I could fall, if given the chance.
Which is why I will never be happy only being your friend. I want to be your friend. Friends make the best lovers. But I will never only want to be your friend. I desire you. I want you. I don’t need you, but I need you to understand I will always want to be with you.
I don’t want to break you down, and make you mine. I want you as you. Strong and independent. It is so much more thrilling when you choose me. I would not make you need me. I want you to be fine on your own, choosing to be with me.
I will be there for you. I will help you in any way you ask. But I am not being nice. I am not nice at all. I don’t want to hurt you, or own you, but I want to make you lose yourself in me each time we are together. If you knew the dreams I have of you, every single night, you would know my intentions are not pure.
I don’t mean to scare you. I also want you to find yourself when you are with me. I want to build you up. Anyone can have the weak. That isn’t good enough for me. I want you to be strong and free to continually choose me.
I’ve made my attraction to you clear. Now, I want to let you know that it will not go away. I will always keep trying. I am going to try to be with you.
If you can’t accept that, delete me from your life. Otherwise, I hope you’ll allow me the opportunity to take this fall for you, when you are ready for something real.