How Not To Obsess

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are a regular reader of this here blog-type-thing, then you should really get that looked at, and you may know that I tend to obsess over things.  It is just in my art (yes, this masterpiece is widely recognized (by me) as art), but you may have noticed I tend to get hung up on one subject or theme for multiple posts at a time.  It is not the creepy, stalker type of obsession where I am standing outside of your window holding a boombox playing Peter Gabriel which is romantic when John Cusack does it, but when Josh does it the cops come and then he gets slapped with a restraining order all because he may have had duct tape and rope in his car when they searched it, along with your pictures with the eyes cut out but his psychiatrist says that he is no longer a danger.  On this blog-type-thing, what some may think of as obsession is actually another fragrance by Calvin Klein.  Oh, I mean, what some may think of as obsession is actually inspiration.  Someone, or something inspires me, and I write.

In real life, however, I am actually pretty good at playing it cool.  I say playing it cool, of course, because it is like an actor playing a role.  I am not now, nor have I ever been cool.  My mind usually does internally obsess over things, but I have learned to keep that mostly inside.  It doesn’t always work.  For example, right now, I am obsessed with Halloween.  Today I added more decorations to the yard, and we finally carved those pumpkins.  I am happy with the results, although my pumpkin is not my best work.  Not every work of art will be the resistance piece.  I also got one part of my costume.  (The rest will be something I will actually use, and therefore won’t really be a costume, but I am excited about it nonetheless.  Or is it nevermore?  Nonetheless, I digress.)  I have plans for Halloween day to put up even more decorations that I don’t want to blow away in the wind during all that waiting up until then.  I am considering using a landscaping computer program to plot things out.  The animatronics are almost finished, but the pyrotechnics need a little work. Of course, because Halloween is actually Samhain, I am considering building a fire pit in the backyard so I can do some things I have been meaning to do, and have a conversation near while the veil is thin.

So yeah…I try to play it cool, and with some other obsessions, I manage okay outside of this here blog-type-thing.  So what if I failed with Halloween?  Sue me!  Jeeze!  (Please don’t.)

Now, my dear reader(s), for your education, entertainment, and enlightenment, in Dolby 5.2 surround sound, if that is how you choose to read it to yourself in your head, I present to you, my helpful guide for how not to obsess over things or at least pretend that you aren’t.

  • Remember you are not John Cusack if your obsession is human  Only Lloyd Dobler can get away with that without being creepy.  Reader, I served with Lloyd Dobler.  I knew Lloyd Dobler.  Lloyd Dobler was a friend of mine.  Reader, you’re no Lloyd Dobler.
  • Try to shift your focus  Obsessed with Halloween or Diane Court?  Try something else.  Take up swimming, or baking, or snorting coke off of strippers.  Just don’t get obsessed over whatever you were trying in order to distract yourself from your obsession.  Especially the coke part.  The carbonation up your nose is not something you want to feel, even is it is done off of a stripper.  Trust me on this one.
  • Read MyFridayBlog™  Because MyFridayBlog™ is not very good, it is easy not to develop an obsession over it.  Just try not to look at the author’s picture, because then, well…we all know.
  • Set a thought timer  Take an egg timer, and set it.  Then give yourself that long to think about whatever it is you are currently obsessing over.  When it dings, you have to think about something else until it dings again.  Keep going.  It is so fun, that in the time it takes for an egg timer to ding, you’ll be obsessed with doing it!
  • Watch hours of YouTube videos  I do this in real life on occasion.  They don’t last long, and so they almost give you default ADD.  You basically think about whatever is on the video for a short time, then you think about the next video you want to watch, then you think about the ad, then you think about whatever is going on in that video, and then you can just kind of waste your life away doing that.  You aren’t really going to get obsessed with it either, because nothing on there is so great you will lose sleep over it or feel like you really need to go back to it the next day.  Unless you are a toddler, and you watched a Pewdiepie video.
  • Sleep  But only if you are a non-dreamer.  If you are like me, your obsessions show up more in your dreams than in your waking thoughts.  That is why I have been awake for the last 37 hours.  That and the coke I was snorting off of the strippers.
  • Find an outlet  What is art, other than a medium to express one’s obsession?  Whether it be writing, music, painting, sculpting, synchronized masturbation…all are really just a way to express obsession without the cops getting called on you.

Well, my dear reader(s), it appears that we have reached the end of our tips.  I would like to thank you all for reading, but I know if I do, you’ll just get obsessed with me.

Advertisements

Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

18 thoughts on “How Not To Obsess”

  1. I was obsessed with John Cusack when I was young. And I loved Peter Gabriel too – even think I might have had an album of his or maybe it was a Genesis album. I wonder what happened to those records. Now I will obsess about that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. crazy dudes are the best lovers. jessayin’…

    in other news, I have an appointment with my dentist to have my halloween fangs implanted on Friday.

    just felt like sharing….not sure why. I wonder why, really. I mean, I have no idea, but I think I’m gonna try to figure it out and come back later with a full analysis. I think.

    hehe….just kidding. *skipping away*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love it. I wrote a Lloyd Dobler post once, discussing how the character is too perfect but I love the shit out of him any way.

    “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold, bought or processed.”

    Perfect.

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I, too, excel at obsession. Current obsessions: honeycrisp apples, fall foliage pics, SNL political skits, my black booties and my new eye shadow primer, rosemary, and mashed potatoes and gravy.
    This time of year, I tend to snort a lot of Flonase and I believe sleep eludes me because of the thinning of the veil.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments appreciated

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s