No End

“I am never letting go of you again,” he whispered through her sweat-drenched hair into her ear.

She could not answer as the waves of pleasure overtook her once again.  At that moment, she did not ever want to be let go, but knew deep down, that would be inevitable.  She did not have time to give it the proper thought because it just wasn’t stopping.

Just before she began to think that she was too tired to keep going, she felt him tense up.  The warm rush overtook her once more as he finished.  He withdrew from her, and collapsed beside her.  She could barely move, but managed to fall sideways into his arms.

As she drifted off to sleep, her mind began to race with the reality of their situation.  She knew he would be leaving in the morning.  She knew that she had another nine and a half months before they even had a chance of being together again.  She knew that one night couldn’t change that.  But as she got closer to dreaming, she remembered this had not been just one magical night.  She remembered that this night of dinner, dancing, and the most amazing sex she had ever experienced was a near lifetime in the making.  She remembered that every time they had attempted to forget about each other, something always brought them back around.  She couldn’t have imagined that they would have kept coming together all the times they had, and thought maybe there was a reason.  Maybe there is a reason nothing else ever really worked out.  Either way, this night, would be remembered.

He was awake as she fell asleep.  He was exhausted from the travel, the time change, the things he had seen in the previous days, the dinner, the dancing, and the best love-making of his entire life.  He was exhausted, but did not want to fall asleep.  He was trying to enjoy every last possible second, and take it all in.  He tried his best not to think about the future, but to imprint this moment into his memory forever.  He looked at her sleeping, and remembered the dreams he used to have of this moment, many years before.  She looked so beautiful in his arms, and he thought that his arms fit her like they were made to hold her close to him.  He meant what he had told her about never letting her go.  He didn’t know what the future would bring for them.  He didn’t know if they would end up together or not.  But at that moment, he knew that never again would he leave from her unless she specifically told him to.  No matter what role he played in it, he wanted to be a part of her life.  As he watched her sleep, he began to wish that she could see herself at this moment through his eyes.  He knew about her self-doubt, and her feeling that things would never go her way, but all he could see was a strong and beautiful woman who was deeply loved by a man utterly devoted to her happiness.

The next morning, things were much different.  She had already started to withdraw inside herself, and he was busy gearing up for his travel.  He was trying not to think about leaving her, but was missing her desperately before he was even apart from her.  As it was time for him to go, he moved toward her.  She was reluctant to let him hold her again, fearing she would break down, but reached her arms for his embrace anyway.  He held her and told her that he did not want to say goodbye to her.  His eyes teared up, but he kept himself from crying.  He told her that no matter if she was inside her head, or out in the world, that he would be beside her.  He told her that he would be there, and would wait for her, no matter what came of things.  He told her that while he might physically be away from her, she would never be alone.  He told her he loved her, and he meant it.

She did not speak.  She couldn’t.  She didn’t know that he understood that, and was worried he would freak out that his words were left hanging in the air.  She was scared.  Scared of letting herself feel for him.  Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of what would happen after the moment he walked out of the door.  Scared of being in love so deeply, knowing that it would open her up to the possibility of being hurt.  Her mind raced with the mix of knowing that it was too late because she already loved him too, and her determination not to make it known to him out of fear he might use that knowledge to break her.

He did not need her to say anything.  He knew her.  He knew the way she worked, and did not need to hear her say it in order to know that she loved him too.  He would let her know he was there, and let her withdraw inside her head, with no pressure from him to come to his arms.  He had made the mistake once, of feeling things were too one-sided with her, and swore to himself never to do that again.  He would not let her go, but would not force her to come to him.  She would be in his arms again.  He knew, as they ended their time together that day, that this was no end.

As his plane gained altitude, there was a shudder.  He looked out of the window and saw the flames coming from the engine.  The plane began to descend toward a clearing in the trees.  He closed his eyes.  As the other passengers began to scream in terror, he smiled.  He knew, that this was no end.

To be continued?

 

 

 

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

5 thoughts on “No End”

  1. This brough me to tears, Josh. It was a great piece of work.
    “He tried his best not to think about the future, but to imprint this moment into his memory forever. He looked at her sleeping, and remembered the dreams he used to have of this moment, many years before. She looked so beautiful in his arms, and he thought that his arms fit her like they were made to hold her close to him.”
    “To be continued?” oh, yes! Please.

    Liked by 1 person

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