Hello dear reader(s)!
Today, I decided to get out of the house, and go walk along trails at a park. The park is pretty big, and I figured it would be a good place to go and clear my head, along with getting the blood flowing and all that good healthy shit. I was smart, not being from the area, so I decided to map my journey using the maps of Google.
An old friend of mine once told me, “Don’t trust Google.” Since she is an old friend, it is obvious that she is not a current friend, and therefore, I take everything she says with about as much seriousness as a story from Breitbart.
However, it appears that she was telling the truth, because Google don’t know shit.
I set off to the North and followed the signs to my designated street.
“So far, so good,” I thought to myself as I drove along the winding road I was supposed to be on.
I kept driving looking for my street. I saw a sign that pointed toward it.
“Bingo!” I shouted to nobody since I was driving alone, and then turned the Beastess onto what I thought was what the sign said was my street.
And that is when everything went wrong.
It wasn’t my street, although I didn’t know that for miles. Once I figured it out. there was no safe place to turn around. And so I kept driving, until I came to a major street that seemed toward the direction I thought the park to be.
I turned down the street and drove in the direction I believed the park (or at least the street on which the park was located) would be. I never did cross that street, however. I kept driving, looking for anything familiar. The Beastess has a full tank of gas (or did, before I left), so I wasn’t yet worried. I figured that I might as well keep going until I thought I was either too far away or until I started to panic. Whichever came first.
So I drove, thinking I was heading toward the park, until I realized that the park would have happened by then. Then I turned around, and drove toward where I thought I could get back toward home, or at least back to the neighborhoods of which I am familiar.
And then I found myself in downtown Independence.
Independence is a cute little town. I drove right past the Truman house, which is nice looking. At some point, I think I will have to go there on purpose, park, and go see the place and the Presidential library. Of course, if I plan a trip there, I am certain that I will end up in Topeka.
Shortly thereafter, I found a street with a name I recognized. So I turned on it, knowing it would take me back toward home.
Except I was all turned around, and took it the wrong way. I only figured it out after the speed limit went up to highway speed. So I turned onto a road with another name I recognized. That too, must have been in the wrong direction. Finally I turned off onto a major street, went back into Independence, found that first street I recognized, and took it in the other direction, because I was actually now South of where I left from.
And now I am finally home, having not gone to the park, and having not gone anywhere else productive. Oh well, at least I got to see cool ideas of what I would like to go see. It was still a good opportunity to clear my head, and there were a few pretty things along the way.
The moral of this story children?
There are two. The first, is that just because someone lied to you doesn’t mean everything they ever said was a lie. The second, getting lost can be okay sometimes, if you have nothing better to do.