She always tells me why she reacts the way she does. When she just expects the worst about me.
“Most guys try to keep me from going out with friends.”
“Most guys expect me to cook dinner every night when they get home, whether I am working or not.”
“Most guys don’t like my style.”
“Most guys get mad when I talk about this.”
“Most guys won’t let me do this.”
And on, and on.
So I tell her the truth. I am not most guys.
To quote the movie Say Anything, “The world is full of guys. Be a man.”
And that’s what I am.
I tell her that I am the man who is not so insecure that I need to worry that she will go out and cheat on me. I tell her that I am the man who will not isolate her from her friends and family in order to increase her dependence on me. I tell her that I am the man who wants to know her thoughts, dreams, and fantasies and will not judge her for them. I tell her that I am the man who is actually interested in her as a person, not as an object. I tell that I am the man who did not choose her out of the many other women in this world in order to change her into being more like anyone else. I tell her that if it makes her happy and does not really hurt me or anyone else, she should do it. I tell her I am the man who will protect her from most guys. I tell her I am the man who will make her forget most guys. I tell her that I am the man who will make her wonder why most guys are so insecure, they fear a capable woman will not stay unless she is controlled or manipulated. I tell her that I am the man who gives her the freedom to choose me each day, rather than feel possessed by me.
And then I prove it.
And then she runs right to me.
She still compares sometimes. She acts as though I am some anomaly for recognizing and loving her as her own human being. She seems surprised that I know that if she is worth having, I do not have to clip her wings. She tells me most guys acted as though they were entitled to her. She tells me how they would make her feel guilty anytime she wasn’t up for something once they had been with her. She still occasionally tells me how much better I am than most guys.
But she never mentions you anymore.
Since I have shown her what a man can be, your name has faded from her thoughts. She doesn’t talk about how you made her feel worthless. She doesn’t talk about how you manipulated her into giving up her friends. She doesn’t talk about how you moved her away and isolated her. She doesn’t talk about how you used her child as leverage in your attempts to bind her to you. She doesn’t talk about the threats, the abuse, and the other inhuman things that you put her through before she was strong enough to remember she deserved better. She never mentions you at all anymore. Now that she has seen what a man can be, you have become just another one of “most guys”.
How is it knowing that she isn’t struggling with most guys, as you struggle to find a woman who is half as good as her? Knowing that she is here with me, already losing any thoughts of you personally? Knowing that your only effect on her is to have been dumped into the category of “most guys” as she tells her new friends how much happier she is with me?
Eventually, she will get used to being treated right, and I won’t have to struggle so hard to keep her from fearing that I might hurt her the way you and most guys did. Eventually she will come to expect it, to where even if we should ever go our separate ways, she can never go back to anyone like most guys.
You played the tough guy, but she now knows it was just your weakness. All your cockiness betrays your lack of confidence. All your manipulations have resulted in the very thing you tried to prevent. Every single time you tried to tighten the reigns, she learned she had the power to break free.
You think about that tonight, as you are drinking yourself stupid to avoid thinking about how you will never have her again. You think about how she may have chosen you once over most guys, but you could never compete against a man like me.
She won’t be thinking of you, though. She won’t be thinking of most guys. Tonight, she’ll be thinking of how great I am making her feel as she freely and eagerly gives herself to me.