Hello dear reader(s)!

Tomorrow, I will be headed to Reno.  For those of you who are new to my blog-type-thing, I despise Reno like Donald Trump despises anyone who is not a white supremacist.  I despise Reno like Bernie Sanders despises the big banks.  I despise Reno like Hillary Clinton despises running an effective general election campaign.  I despise Reno like Jill Stein despises attempting to actually build and organize a solid third-party before attempting to run for an office she won’t be on the ballot for in all states anyway.  I despise Reno like Gary Johnson despises learning about only one of the most important cities in the largest foreign policy blunder we have been engaged in since Vietnam.  I despise Reno like your mother despises your father and is now resentful of you since she stayed with him all those years thinking that it would be better for you.  I despise Reno like your father despises you because you remind him of your mother.  It’s okay though, baby girl.  I’ll be your daddy.  (Just kidding, don’t ever call me daddy.)

And it seems I am not alone in this.  Comedian Amy Schumer called Reno a dump on BBC Newsnight.

As if I didn’t love her enough already.

What’s even better, is that she pronounced it Nev-Ah-da which gets Nevadans’ camouflage panties in a bunch.  Nevadans insist that you call it Nev-Ad-a (like TV ad, short a) because that is what they call it.  Despite the fact Nev-Ah-da is actually closer (but still incorrect) to the word given that it’s fucking Spanish and all.  In Spanish, the word is Nay-vah-da.  It’s a Spanish word.  Nobody cares how the people in Nevada want you to pronounce the word outside of Nevada because they stole it and insist you pronounce it incorrectly.  And why do you think they want you to pronounce it differently from the Spanish word?  Gee, I don’t know.  Maybe because they are racists and hate Mexicans?  Just a thought.

People are entitled to their opinion.  I have friends and family who love Reno and Nevada for some bizarre reason.  They are the only reasons I will ever set foot in that dump again.  Nevadans (particularly those from Reno) get insanely upset over any criticism of their beloved home.  Like they built it, in all its dirt, sagebrush, and more dirt glory.  Guess what happens if you criticize my home?  I say, “Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t like it.”  “Yeah, it really isn’t all that sunny here except during the summer when people like me wish it would go away.”  “Yeah, not everyone likes mild temperatures, trees, water, and life.  That’s cool, besides, the traffic is a fucking nightmare and it is really expensive.”  And when you criticize my future home?  I say, “Oh really?  Huh.  I don’t know enough about it to have an opinion, but I really liked it when I was there.”  And that’s it.  I don’t care if you mispronounce it.  I don’t care if you hate it.  I don’t take it as a personal assault.

But Reno?  You would think you walked into their own house that they built with their bare hands, took a giant shit on it, and then raped their family while telling them how incompetent they are for daring to construct a house that is such an affront to all that is good and holy before setting fire to it with all them tied up inside.  Case in point?  This little blurb from the Reno Gazette Journal (the biggest little tabloid disguised as a newspaper in the world) that goes after her for the joke theft controversy (that fellow comedians rallied behind her during) and claimed that because Reno can’t be bothered to make the corridor from the airport to her hotel look decent, that she should not be allowed to think Reno is a dump.  (You know, because why make the place visitors enter from attractive to visitors?)  Of course, they make no mention that the hotels aren’t what they used to be either.  And of course, they make no mention that 90% of the mother fucking town is just as ugly as the stretch from the airport to her hotel.   Reno looks good at sunset, from McCarran, overlooking the whole city.  Also from windy hill.  It really does, until you hit street level.  And finally, they once again tell her to pronounce it the way they prefer people pronounce it.

Wow, RGJ, you showed her.  I bet she’s totally wanting to take it back now.

To be fair, some good things have happened in Reno fairly recently.  Midtown is a fairly cool little area with things that almost resemble culture.  4th street was slightly cleaned up the last time I was there (in stretches) making it far less icky.  You’re close to Tahoe, but that has always been the case.  I’m sure there is more good to it, but it has to be sought out.

Downtown is a still a pit, with casinos that spend their entire maintenance budget on lighting them up in different colors, and abandoned or soon-to-be abandoned buildings near the train trench.  The Peppermill, a little further South, is a fairly nice place surrounded by gang territory.  By the airport, is the GSR, which was nice, but then was sold and did a remodel actually making it worse for some reason.  It started as the MGM Grand, then was Bally’s, then the Reno Hilton, then the GSR (Grand Sierra Resort), and is now the GSR with differrent owenership, a different sign, and awful decor.  Business must be great!  I would like to ask the Reno Gazette Journal exactly what they wanted Miss Schumer to see that would redeem their beloved city.

If the people who love Reno, would actually spend some time in any place outside of Reno, they would know that, thanks to Indian gaming, there is nothing Reno has that can’t be found somewhere else.  There is a casino just outside of my city on tribal land that is managed by Hilton.  It actually probably has more money put into it, because, you know, people actually want to go there.

In order to fly into Reno, I have to fly in a fucking prop plane if I want to fly direct.  If I wanted a jet, I would have to fly all the way down to Vegas and back up.  It would take me more time to fly to Reno than it took me to fly to Kansas City from here, despite it being so much closer.  It is hard to get people to want to come there when you can’t even get a decent direct flight into your airport.

Reno could fix almost all this (except the fact it is in the desert, but some people like that, I’m sure) if they tried.

But when someone thinks your town is a dump, maybe instead of bashing the successful, world-famous comedian who people actually listen to, it would be better to ask yourself why so many visitors think it’s a dump, and actually try to correct that.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

21 thoughts on “Dump”

  1. I’m from Reno Nuhvauwdawh, born and raised. It is a dump! That’s why I don’t live there anymore and will never visit it again, unless someone drags my corpse there. My corpse would be an improvement to Reno. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My cousins moved from Reno to Houston, and they were much the same, incredibly defensive of their little oasis in the sands of NevAHda. I’ve only been once, and that was for their wedding when I was 15. That was a long time ago, and I was not old enough to do much of anything of note. I remember on a Saturday night one of our uncles decided to take the poor children that had been pinned up in a hotel room for two days street watching the only three channels our squeaky springs motel offered. Naturally we decided to go malling, it was 7 pm and the mall closed at some bizarrely early hour like 5 or 6, so we partied it up at the two store Barnes and Nobles up the street. We each bought something to entertain us the rest of the dreaded week: tarot cards, pink hot chocolate, and a 90’s best hip hop anthology, to which we played Romeo and Juliet on repeat.

    In a couple of weeks I’m headed to Las Vegas for the first time of my life. Not exactly my top choice for my birthday trip but our points got us there for free….sooo….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vegas at least has things to see and do other than sitting in a smokey casino with a bunch of gambling addicts. It is not my favorite at all, but it beats Reno.
      You were across from Meadowood, based on the Barnes and Noble, but I have no idea why they would have closed that early on a Saturday, that isn’t normal at all.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ::shrugs:: Casinos depress me. I’ve been wanting to write a post about it, but I don’t exactly have the words yet.

        I went to my first one almost exactly a year ago because I’ve always avoided them, but my husband surprised me with a birthday trip to one in Mississippi. I tried to be positive about it, but watching people sweating off their last penny at chance makes my heart ache. Makes me want to give them enough to start fresh, their life not the night, but then you just know they will most likely just turn around and gamble with it again. It makes me feel helpless with an overbearing sense of hoplessness.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Shh, I’m whispering, no one else can hear me.
    First of all, great job with the mommy daddy despisal frame. How about how your mommy hates your daddy for taking you away in a vile custody battle, only to fuck you up real good and then return you to her to fix? That’s a good one. Also, how about your father and stepmother hate your real mom for the same goddamned reason? Excellent comparison.
    Anyway, I hate Nevada. Only been once. My father lives in Vegas and I didn’t go to see him, cause we weren’t speaking then. I went there to see my cousin who’d just made a whole brand new person and aside from that, BLECK! Just, with the sand and the dirt and the nothingness and the only green is money and sparse glimpses of things they call trees, but you and I both know they’re not frickin trees.
    These days my father and I are close and he is quite ill, but I’m really glad he doesn’t want me to see him in his sad state, because I would honor my father if that was what he asked, but honestly, I do not want to go to Las Vegas ever ever ever. So, Universe if you’re eavesdropping, if it’s all the same to you, I’d like my father to gain enough weight to fly out and see us here, where it’s green and humans can easily survive.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it is rather funny that the Reno Gazette criticised Plumb Lane. In the efforts to get someone to change their mind about Reno being a dump, you can’t just go around agreeing that it is. I know the writer was saying, venture out it gets better. But come on after reading the Gazette I am agreeing more with those that call Reno a dump.
    I like midtown, but it’s a tease. It reminds me of Portland. But only like a blink. It makes me miss other places I have lived, that had real culture.
    By the way. I am pretty certain the GSR has never changed their carpet. Through all of the hotle changes. Its the worst!
    I just found your blog and I am enjoying your post!

    Liked by 1 person

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