Hello dear reader(s)!
Tomorrow, I will be headed to Reno. For those of you who are new to my blog-type-thing, I despise Reno like Donald Trump despises anyone who is not a white supremacist. I despise Reno like Bernie Sanders despises the big banks. I despise Reno like Hillary Clinton despises running an effective general election campaign. I despise Reno like Jill Stein despises attempting to actually build and organize a solid third-party before attempting to run for an office she won’t be on the ballot for in all states anyway. I despise Reno like Gary Johnson despises learning about only one of the most important cities in the largest foreign policy blunder we have been engaged in since Vietnam. I despise Reno like your mother despises your father and is now resentful of you since she stayed with him all those years thinking that it would be better for you. I despise Reno like your father despises you because you remind him of your mother. It’s okay though, baby girl. I’ll be your daddy. (Just kidding, don’t ever call me daddy.)
And it seems I am not alone in this. Comedian Amy Schumer called Reno a dump on BBC Newsnight.
As if I didn’t love her enough already.
What’s even better, is that she pronounced it Nev-Ah-da which gets Nevadans’ camouflage panties in a bunch. Nevadans insist that you call it Nev-Ad-a (like TV ad, short a) because that is what they call it. Despite the fact Nev-Ah-da is actually closer (but still incorrect) to the word given that it’s fucking Spanish and all. In Spanish, the word is Nay-vah-da. It’s a Spanish word. Nobody cares how the people in Nevada want you to pronounce the word outside of Nevada because they stole it and insist you pronounce it incorrectly. And why do you think they want you to pronounce it differently from the Spanish word? Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because they are racists and hate Mexicans? Just a thought.
People are entitled to their opinion. I have friends and family who love Reno and Nevada for some bizarre reason. They are the only reasons I will ever set foot in that dump again. Nevadans (particularly those from Reno) get insanely upset over any criticism of their beloved home. Like they built it, in all its dirt, sagebrush, and more dirt glory. Guess what happens if you criticize my home? I say, “Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t like it.” “Yeah, it really isn’t all that sunny here except during the summer when people like me wish it would go away.” “Yeah, not everyone likes mild temperatures, trees, water, and life. That’s cool, besides, the traffic is a fucking nightmare and it is really expensive.” And when you criticize my future home? I say, “Oh really? Huh. I don’t know enough about it to have an opinion, but I really liked it when I was there.” And that’s it. I don’t care if you mispronounce it. I don’t care if you hate it. I don’t take it as a personal assault.
But Reno? You would think you walked into their own house that they built with their bare hands, took a giant shit on it, and then raped their family while telling them how incompetent they are for daring to construct a house that is such an affront to all that is good and holy before setting fire to it with all them tied up inside. Case in point? This little blurb from the Reno Gazette Journal (the biggest little tabloid disguised as a newspaper in the world) that goes after her for the joke theft controversy (that fellow comedians rallied behind her during) and claimed that because Reno can’t be bothered to make the corridor from the airport to her hotel look decent, that she should not be allowed to think Reno is a dump. (You know, because why make the place visitors enter from attractive to visitors?) Of course, they make no mention that the hotels aren’t what they used to be either. And of course, they make no mention that 90% of the mother fucking town is just as ugly as the stretch from the airport to her hotel. Reno looks good at sunset, from McCarran, overlooking the whole city. Also from windy hill. It really does, until you hit street level. And finally, they once again tell her to pronounce it the way they prefer people pronounce it.
Wow, RGJ, you showed her. I bet she’s totally wanting to take it back now.
To be fair, some good things have happened in Reno fairly recently. Midtown is a fairly cool little area with things that almost resemble culture. 4th street was slightly cleaned up the last time I was there (in stretches) making it far less icky. You’re close to Tahoe, but that has always been the case. I’m sure there is more good to it, but it has to be sought out.
Downtown is a still a pit, with casinos that spend their entire maintenance budget on lighting them up in different colors, and abandoned or soon-to-be abandoned buildings near the train trench. The Peppermill, a little further South, is a fairly nice place surrounded by gang territory. By the airport, is the GSR, which was nice, but then was sold and did a remodel actually making it worse for some reason. It started as the MGM Grand, then was Bally’s, then the Reno Hilton, then the GSR (Grand Sierra Resort), and is now the GSR with differrent owenership, a different sign, and awful decor. Business must be great! I would like to ask the Reno Gazette Journal exactly what they wanted Miss Schumer to see that would redeem their beloved city.
If the people who love Reno, would actually spend some time in any place outside of Reno, they would know that, thanks to Indian gaming, there is nothing Reno has that can’t be found somewhere else. There is a casino just outside of my city on tribal land that is managed by Hilton. It actually probably has more money put into it, because, you know, people actually want to go there.
In order to fly into Reno, I have to fly in a fucking prop plane if I want to fly direct. If I wanted a jet, I would have to fly all the way down to Vegas and back up. It would take me more time to fly to Reno than it took me to fly to Kansas City from here, despite it being so much closer. It is hard to get people to want to come there when you can’t even get a decent direct flight into your airport.
Reno could fix almost all this (except the fact it is in the desert, but some people like that, I’m sure) if they tried.
But when someone thinks your town is a dump, maybe instead of bashing the successful, world-famous comedian who people actually listen to, it would be better to ask yourself why so many visitors think it’s a dump, and actually try to correct that.