Hello dear reader(s)!
I need to talk about a very important topic today. That topic, is intersectionality. Intersectionality is defined as the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage.
And that is very important, and should be talked about.
However, intersectionality can also mean the way we all behave at intersections. And let’s face it, as important as the actual meaning is, how we behave at intersections is pretty damn important too. And it doesn’t take a social scientists to explain.
What, were you expecting a serious post from me on a Sunday? Silly reader(s)! Serious posts are for kids? Well…anyway.
- 4 way or all way stops Okay, seriously, why is this so fucking hard? You yield to the person who stops first. In the event of a tie or too close to call situation, you yield to the person on the right. That’s it. If you want to see who shouldn’t be allowed to vote, watch a 4 way stop.
- yellow lights If you have to speed up to make it before the red, you should probably just stop or else the car behind you is going to get homicidal for not going that fucking fast in the first place! He was riding your ass for a reason. If you can make it through without speeding up, then go through. Don’t make the car behind you slam on their breaks because the changing light scared you. Also, in inclement weather, just fucking go. You’ll slide out into the intersection if you stop too hard, and the other cars won’t have as much traction to jump off the line at their green light anyway should the last 1/4″ of your Kia Rio not be completely through at the change anyway, grandma.
- Left turns without a signal You are last. You yield to everyone else. If it is busy, don’t a be a dick and stop all the traffic behind you. Certain times of day, on certain roads, (I don’t know, say 50th in Seattle during commute times, not that I have any experience being stuck behind some fucking left turner trying to cross for 20 fucking minutes as the right lane is clogged with people parked or anything), you shouldn’t be a dick and make those cross traffic lefts. Find another way, you lazy, yuppie, Amazon fuck.
- Right on red Check the state you’re in, but usually, if it is clear, and it is not otherwise posted, fucking turn. Turn. Turn your shitty car and get the fuck out of the way of the people who actually want to live lives outside of their cars in traffic, grandma!
- Pedestrians You should stop for them, especially when they cross at intersections. It is just the right thing to do. Besides, you don’t want to have to get your car fixed and cleaned from the bits of pedestrian. However, when they are crossing against the light (if there is a light), there is no law that prevents you from flipping them off and revving your engine at them. Also, if there is a cross walk on one side of the intersection and not on the other, and they choose to cross at the side without a crosswalk, feel free to let them know of you displeasure by screaming obscenities at them and threatening to kill them and their whole family for being so fucking lazy they can’t walk the extra 15 feet to the proper side as the veins bulge out in your head and you then worry about having an aneurysm.
- Green lights When the light is green, and the intersection is clear of other cars and pedestrians, you fucking go. You do not finish that text, or putting on your makeup that does nothing to hide the ugliness of your soul. You go. Green means go. The accelerator is the pedal on the right, and you push it down to fucking accelerate. The people behind you want through the intersection too. Despite the way your mommy treated you growing up, there are other people in the world. And to all you hyper-mileage fuckers who think they are saving a ton of gas by not accelerating at the green light but instead choose to just take their foot off the brake and idle through…how much gas do you think you’ll be using when you are trying to run from someone intent on killing you? Asking for a friend.
- Roundabouts Yield to the person in the roundabout, or the person on the left. Unless you live in an idiot city where they have decided to include both stop signs and roundabouts, in which case, I am sorry your city is full of morons and includes contradictory traffic controls. Just um….try not to hit anyone, I guess.
These rules of intersectionality apply to drivers in the US. Your results may vary. For more information, visit your DMV and have them pull your fucking license for needing more information, grandma!
Featured Image by original Image:UK Roundabout_8_Cars.gif (with cars driving on the left) created by Mintguy, prettified by Fredrik. Adapted to right sided traffic by Romanm; Deutsch: Mintguy (en-Wiki) und Archenzo (it-Wiki) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons