Hello dear reader(s)!
As you know MyFridayBlog™ has reached a level of popularity few would have thought possible back when I first started this with an empty shoe box, a red guitar, three chords, and the truth. For many posts, my only reader was my mom, and now my readership has likely tripled (most days) to where I am pretty certain that it isn’t just her reading under different names. I don’t need to tell you, that a three-fold increase to a total of three people is likely unprecedented in such a short amount of years.
So how did I do it? How did I take my readership from one family member to as many as one family member and two other people?
The answers are many, but the keys to my massive popularity are hard work, dedication (except when I’m not really feeling it or have something better to do), a dash of cinnamon, and not believing in Writer’s Block.
“But Josh,” I imagine you ask, but am certain deep down that you just don’t give a shit, “How do I not believe in Writer’s Block?”
To which I reply, “Oh silly imaginary you, you just simply don’t care what kind of crap you foist upon your dear reader(s).”
Let me give you an example: Yesterday, I was in a pissy mood. Had I written an actual post, it would have been very angry and likely would have gotten me in trouble with my friends, family, cats, the government, Monsanto, and my basement slave. I had plenty I could write about, but it would have had very real-world (find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real) repercussions (percussion again) that I simply didn’t want to face. So what did I do? I hit you all with a half-ass post wherein I just shared some stuff off of the Tubes of You so as to avoid trouble in my life. And guess what? Some poor suckers still viewed it. You see, it’s that easy!
But you can’t always just write a half-ass post wherein you share songs from the Tubes of You, (even though some blogs seem to do nothing but, lately) and expect to maintain a decent level of readership. So what do you do, hot shot? What do you do?
Never fear, my dear reader(s), you have come to the right place. Because out of the generosity of my heart, I have decided to impart to you my helpful guide for finding topics to write about.
- Try the mundane Just because your life is boring, does not mean that you can’t write about it. I have written about how boring my life is on more than one occasion, and some masochist has still read them. Perhaps they just need to feel like they are more exciting than someone else, in which case, they have come to the right place.
- Write about television and/or movies I could write about how I have not seen an episode of Game Of Thrones and am purposely avoiding it until some of the hype dies down because I hate things that are overly popular even if it is a quality show. I could tell you that I intend to catch up later, once I move because I can feel its popularity beginning to wane, and then I won’t have to be one of the hip kids. I can tell you how I have not seen more than clips of Breaking Bad too, but intend to watch that as well.
- Write about your mood Shortly after I posted yesterday, something happened to put me in a much better mood even though I still hadn’t gotten any more sleep which effectively made my post moot. I could tell you that the thing that happened is a secret and that I’ll never tell until I publish my memoir which won’t be until long after anyone would care, so at least a few hours from now, and likely more. I could tell you how my attempts at letting go of my bad mood and focusing on the good things, (allowing them to change my mood), makes me look a pubescent teenager in terms of mood swings.
- Try food I made a white mocha. It is good. I let the coffee run too long and almost ran out of steam for my milk, but it heated up just as it was running out. I am having toasted brioche because I ran out of bagels and forgot to pick more up at the store. For the white mocha recipe, I used the following. White mocha stuff. Espresso. Almond Milk. Water. Steps: Put water in the machine. Put espresso in the espresso thingy (technical term). Tamp it down. Put the thingy on the machine. Brew that shit. When the brewed espresso reaches your desire level, turn that shit off. Put white mocha in your cup, and pour the espresso on top. I like to stir that shit. Take your almond milk and put that shit in a steaming pitcher. Put that shit under the nozzle. Turn on the steam. Steam that shit. Pour that shit into the coffee cup. Enjoy that shit. For the brioche recipe, I used the following. Brioche bun. Spread. Steps: Split the bun. Put that shit in the toaster. Toast that shit. Take that shit out. Open the spread of your choice. Put that shit on the bun. Enjoy that shit.
- Write about politics or social issues I’ve been trying to avoid this because of a need to get away from the stress involving that bullshit, but I realize that you can only ignore things for so long. There is always something going on that you could post about if you pay attention. In fact, stay tuned for an upcoming piece on intersectionality that promises to be at least a little better than this one. (Promise does not constitute a guarantee, not valid in all states and territories, void where prohibited.)
- Write a helpful guide You could write a guide for something as stupid as what to write about. The possibilities are endless!
What about you dear reader(s)? Is there anything you would like to add? Comment about it at your peril!!! Muahahahaha!