Hello dear reader(s)!
I am not sorry I haven’t posted in a bit. The day before yesterday I was sick as a dog. What kind of dog? A sick one, apparently. I don’t understand that term, because when I think of dogs I think of happy, running, jumping, playful dogs with ears flopping and tails wagging and big doggy smiles on their faces that make you just want to grab them by their big, stupid, doggy heads and hug them and say, “Who’s a good boy? You are! Yes you are!!! Do you want the ball? Where’s the ball? Go get the ball!!!” so that really doesn’t make a lot of sense to me at all, but I digress. Anyway, last week was super exhausting and so I think the sickness combined with the exhaustion finally caught up with me.
But this post is not about dogs and why they are sicker than other animals including humans, apparently. Like, if you wanted to say sicker than I was a couple of years ago, that would make sense. But sicker than a dog? I am digressing again. Look at me go. No, this post is once again about things I am not sorry for.
I have done similar posts in the past, but since this isn’t the past, I figure an updated post is just the thing this world* needs from me right now. *This world consists solely of me and the voices in my head. Any voices that resemble any persons real or fictional is purely coincidental.
So it is great pride that I
introduce to you these four fine lads here from Liverpool to entertain us present things I am not sorry for.
- Disagreeing Too often I find myself saying, “I’m sorry, but what about ____?” or, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t see it that way.” when what I actually mean is, “You are a fucking idiot and there should be some sort of law that prevents you from ever having the chance to spread your genetic material on my planet, but since I am anti-eugenics I just wish you’d shoot yourself into space or something because the people of Earth do not need people like you on our planet.”
- Self-care I find myself apologizing a lot for having to take care of myself. It is not the fault of the people in my life, they are cool about it. I beat myself up about being sick the day before yesterday and the people in my life were looking at me like I am insane because they understood better than I did. But I need to remember that I should not be sorry when I just can’t do something. There is a reason I am on disability and it isn’t because of this amazingly opulent lifestyle it allows me to live, and my frequent occurances on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
- Putting myself first When I decide to do something for me on the rare occasions I do, I am not going to apologize and/or feel guilty. This includes when, for me, I decide to overuse and/or because I really enjoy it and/or I know it can get a couple of laughs out of its overuse and/or its use in some sentence where it may not otherwise belong and/or chicken fried steak and eggs.
- Complaining I am positive that part of trying to be a more positive person with a positively more positive outlook means working on the amount of time that I vent/bitch about things outside of this here blog-type-thing. However, I also know that I am human and humans have bad days sometimes. Which means I should quit being so negative about the times I do need to be negative by saying that I am sorry about it, when in fact, it is necessary. I am absolutely positive of that.
- Doing anything for love But not doing that.
- Getting pissed when you won’t even run the water over the many, many dishes you use once you put them back in the sink because it doesn’t seem like it should be that fucking much to ask that if I am going to be the person who does those that a little common fucking courtesy is shown to make it a little easier and less rough on my baby soft hand skin, Obama! And why are you using dishes anyway? Food comes in wrappers now! It’s 2016!!!!
- Being occasionally lazy This would sort of fall under the self-care category, but sometimes it has nothing to do with anything more than the fact that sitting on the couch and binge-watching a series on Netflix with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a beverage in the other having not even changed out of your boxers all day can just be a nice way to spend a day. And you may or may not be high. I’m not sorry for that either.
- Singing, exercising,fucking,listening to music, playing guitar, fucking, watching TV, fucking, or anything else that makes noise in my home during the day. Even in an apartment. Don’t like it? Sleep at night like the rest of us you vampire freaks! Or go pay extra for some place where you never have to hear the people who live around you, 90% of which sleep at night, so you can have your precious beauty rest instead of allowing me to stomp and live the life we all want to live while we’re awake! I know, this makes me a terrible neighbor, so…