When Did They Get Old?

Hello dear reader(s)!

I apologize for my lack of postage (not the kind you would typically affix to a piece of mail or something; although if I failed to include postage on a piece of mail I might also be apt to apologize for it after rectifying the situation but that is not the case in this specific instance at this time) but I was out enjoying the day yesterday.

And then napping.  Because too much sun makes me tired.  Because I’m old.

Yesterday was beautiful.  I took Dobson to the vet and there was this warm breeze and feel to the air that just put me in a great mood.  Add to that the fact that Dobson is doing well and the whole vet experience was far less traumatic, and you have all the ingredients necessary to start off an amazing day.  Except morning sex, of course.  That is a nice ingredient in a good day.  And winning the lottery.  Maybe all while on a boat.  But I digress.

And being out, having fun in the sun until such a time as I thought it necessary to seek shade thereby avoiding a sunburn and increased risk of skin cancer, I thought about how the vast majority of people in my age range seem to act really old.  Like our parents did when we swore we’d never get that way.  I still haven’t, and I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of that fact.

I thought about the exceptions to the rule.  Some of my friends on Facebook and the like.  I was complaining about how every single post from some people seemed to be about the most boring things imaginable from some.  I thought the common denominator might have been children, but then quickly realized the most fun, irreverent, and exciting posts come consistently from some of the best parents I know.  Shout out to all y’all that make keep my feed my entertaining.  Much love.  Respect.  As-Salaam-Alaikum.  You da real MVP.

So what happened to everyone else?  Were they always that boring?  Did they always just want to live in a grind and lose all semblance of self outside of their family unit or their crappy job?

My favorite people are the people are the ones with personalities.  It is the same reason I only follow a handful of parent-blogs.  Yes, sometimes it is nice to read about what little Cindy or Johnny or Sho Chin or Zelda did, but what else did you do?  Why is that really meaningful to you?  You’re writing, not your kid.  You still exist.

And it isn’t just with parents.  Sometimes it is work.  Yes, we know what you do for a living.  What about you?  Yes, work was crap today.  Sorry.  Oh, congratulations on that promotion.  What about you?  You do realize there is life outside your job as much as it may suck so much of it away, right?

If it sounds like I’m knocking responsibility, I am most definitely not.  I still get saddened that children for me was not in the cards.  When I was able to work, I worked hard, and did the best I could.  Of course I cared about my job, and yes, I would bitch about the bad days and celebrate the good ones I had working.

But I always did everything I could to have some sort of personality outside of that.

I like using foul fucking language and I don’t give a fuck if anyone’s offended.  Yes, I can shut my mouth to a degree around children so they don’t repeat it, but if they’re not in the room, “fuck” is just another word.  If I had a child, I would want to teach them that, but also teach them there is a time and place for everything.  I want to get another tattoo but probably won’t be able to unless all my counts make huge recoveries.  I want to travel.  I want to play drums in a band, or at least write and record music.  No, it doesn’t have to be a career, but at least secondary.  I want to fuck as much as is humanly possible until I am physically no longer capable, within the bounds of reality and time.  I want to make out underneath a sunset as much as I can.  I want to listen to loud music and paint and actually enjoy life.

Adulting is a world of bills, jobs, worry, and suck.  Parenting, you can add that worry for your children, and the bills and jobs becomes that much more important.

But there is still a you, isn’t there?  It doesn’t die with your family unit, suburban home, and 2.5 kids.  Yes, it takes much more time from you, but not everything.

Not for all, anyway.  I know those people who are still them, and they are the ones I respect the most.

The rest, when did you get so fucking old?

 

 

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

17 thoughts on “When Did They Get Old?”

  1. Josh. I taught high school over 32 years. Before that I did factory work and day labor. I am now retired and have plenty of time to golf, do woodworking, travel, reading all those books I wanted to read, write a once in awhile blog (check it out) and help around the house. Both kids are grown and gone but when they were at home they were the focus of my life. (I said “focus”, not “obsession”) . The dogs have dies and we have not yet replaced them.
    Frankly, I have no idea how working people have the time to do anything that I am able to do with all my free time. When do they pay the bills, shop for groceries, go to the vet, deal with health insurance companies and other corporations. And if they have kids there is a whole system for “pick up and delivery” for various functions, games, sleepovers, etc. Not to mention supervising homework and the internet for the young ones.
    My point. People do become boring. I am boring. At my age being boring is not necessarily a bad thing. (Is there anything more pathetic than an old person dressing like a young person? What the British call “Mutton dressed as lamb”.) Let younger people take over. Let 30 year olds act like 30 year olds. To those who say that life begins at 50. NONSENSE! I find it disturbing when old folks think they should stay young. And especially when old folks control the political system. (My feelings on the old Senate):

    https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/80-is-the-new-36/

    Inside I still see myself as a 30 year old. Until I look in the mirror. But I know how to pace myself. Otherwise I feel the aches and pains in the morning.So, I am boring. I act my age. I only wish that wisdom automatically came with growing old. It doesn’t.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, I’m not saying you need to be going out all night and partying, or dressing in the latest styles. But there is a distinct loss of individuality in some of the people I know and it is upsetting because I liked who they were as individuals.

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  2. Growing up then growing old sucks. I am not near old age but I am in middle-age and you start thinking about stuff related to how you have fewer years ahead of you and you want to do good things before you go. Aging means changing in some ways but not in others. It’s interesting how things are these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha! Well that’s just the truth right there. People are the kind of parents they are because they’re the kind of people they are. Some people hate structure, some people love rules, some people are all about their causes…it overflows into parenting like everything else.
    Teaching children the language of power is crucial. Letting them play with language is good fun.
    Now, my in-laws are very goody-goody, churchy-churchy, so as a family, we have a lot of fun with language at their expense. I think it’s okay — gives them more to pray about. They love praying.
    I am still me, but parenthood did change me. If it doesn’t change a person, they’re probably not doing a very good job. But identity intact, the winter after my wedding, about six months after being the mommy every day, I got old. I was 25. I noticed it then. The inability to party all night and then go to work the following day without feeling like I’m DYING. The inability to sleep well on a floor or a sofa or whatever. Those were the first signs.
    But I don’t feel ancient or anything. I’m 42 and glad to be so. I appear boring. Most people might even think I’m boring. I am not boring. I am weird and a lot of fun, but it’s not obvious and that’s a good thing 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Unfortunately as we grow older, we grow away from many of those we had things in common with. I think that is why when people marry young, they grow apart as they age. We develop new interests and go in different directions. I have come to appreciate something Iyala VanZant said: “When people leave your life, let them go because they have served their purpose in your life and you in theirs.” I have a tendency to hold onto things and recently realized that the friends that I had held on to for so long were no longer in my life. At first I was hurt and blamed myself but then I realized that our personalities had taken different turns and we had gone in different directions. We had served a purpose in each others’ lives but that purpose was no longer valid. I am making new friends with whom I have common interests and who appreciate my personality and I theirs. My point is that possibly the Facebook posts that frustrate you aren’t for you but are for people whom the writer has common interests with. It’s o.k to let go of those people with love and it doesn’t mean that you won’t contact them from time to time catch up. Life is too short to frustrate yourself with forcing yourself to read things that don’t interest you. It’s like blog posts, there is no way I can read everyone’s posts every day so I have to pick and choose. I sometimes have to skip over blogs that I know I will enjoy to have the time to read some that are new and interesting and that I will enjoy in a different way.🤔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Talking about old friends. I just had an opportunity this winter to get in contact with a great couple I knew in college. We had not seen or had any contact with each other since 1972. Literally. No contact. Over 40 years! Got a chance to spend 3 days together and it was like we had never left. Picked up right where we left off (except no bongs this time) . The best people really never do change, they just go through different life experiences.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I know exactly what you mean. I see people I graduated with that look and act ancient. I wonder what the heck happened. At what point did life stop being a joy? I hope I never find out! I look forward to you blog posts about music and travel and making out under the setting sun!!

    Liked by 1 person

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