Hello my dear reader(s)!
My Dobson is home and doing well. We have to give him twice daily pills, but otherwise it is like he never got sick. This whole experience has taught me very valuable lessons, or helped me to remember some of the ones I had previously forgotten. With that in mind, in order to educate, enlighten, and entertain you, my dear reader(s), I will now share some of them with you because you can’t stop me unless you just stop reading but then you wouldn’t be dear reader(s) at that time, now would you? Nanny nanny billy goats!
- Get pet insurance If you have pets. If you don’t, I suppose there is no good reason for this. You can if you really want to, but at that point you likely have too much money and should think about donating some of it to charity or something rather than wasting it on a pet insurance policy for pets you don’t have. Emergency vet bills have practically tripled since the last time I needed to take an animal to an emergency vet. It was worth every penny, but I am not exactly feeling happy about the financial implications of this transaction. What we should do, is be voting for politicians who want to make universal pet healthcare a right. You know, after they finally realize it should be for people.
- Show your love I didn’t really need this reminder, but some of you probably do. I will however say, that I am less hesitant to tell Dobson to either lay down or get the fuck off my lap since he has returned. You don’t ever want the last thing you say to a soul you love to be something pissy. Unless pissy is their name or something weird like that. But why would you name a soul pissy? Well, people named their kid North West, so I guess it is what it is.
- Appreciate those who love you It’s easy to be there for someone when they are all sunshine and rainbows. When things are fun, everyone wants to be a part of it. But sometimes things are shit and you need someone who wants to wade through the fly covered swirling mass of excrement with you. When those people present themselves, let them know how much it means to you. Try not to show your appreciation with unsolicited naked photos.
- Make sure to make your cat a burrito If you do not, they will slip out of the bottom of the towel when trying to shove the pills into their mouth.
- Take some “you” time Sometimes you just need to withdraw during times of stress and
masturbatebe alone. Do not feel bad or guilty about this. You have to take care of yourself so you are well enough to take care of others. Your true friends will join inunderstand.
- Get plenty of rest You will be tempted to not sleep in case you get a phone call that makes you need to rush down to the vet at any hour. But if you do not sleep, should that 3 am phone call come (not the nuke phone call, that’s different), you need to be rested enough to actually make it to the vet’s in one piece. Plus it will prevent you from the constant spinning thoughts of worry that suck every last drop of happiness from your life that you can’t fully be present in because you just can’t stand what might happen so you pick at your skin and pull your hair and grind your teeth down to little nubs as you shake uncontrollably and oh my god, they’re coming to get me.
- Eat Eating can help release stress-relieving endorphins that can help relive your stress by acting on the stress-relieving endorphin receptors in your stressed out brain thereby releasing some of your stress through the power of stress-relieving endorphins. Mmmm, doughnut. Stress-Relieving Endorphin flavored doughnut.
- Exercise Because too many stress-relieving endorphin doughnuts will actually cause stress on your body rather than relieve it without mitigating some of that stress-relieving calorie intake. Exercise has also been shown to release stress-relieving endorphins. For a great stress stress-relieving exercise program, see #5.
- Laugh Sometimes in the middle of a stressful situation, you can lose sight of the fact that life isn’t all one big grey cloud of suck. Laughter can help you remember. While not the best medicine, it is complimentary to many other medications that are good when specifically indicated for the ailment you intend to treat. Side effects of laughter include dry mouth, watery eyes, inability to control facial muscles, abdominal contractions, and weird noises. With laughter, you can get back to you again. Ask your doctor is laughter right for you.
- Cry It’s okay. Not everything is funny. Not everything is easy. You can cry sometimes. You are not less of a person for being vulnerable on occasion. Cry, get it out, and then suck it up, buttercup, and fight through. Whiner.
These valuable life lessons have been brought to you be Dobson, multi thousand dollar vet bills, good friends, good family, and the letters F & U.
Hope you all have a great Sunday.