Down With The Patriarchy

Hello dear reader(s)!

This post will by no means be a complete assessment of my feelings on the way our society views the sexes.  It doesn’t even begin to cover half of the issues I have with it.  It won’t be a #NotAllMen post that does not acknowledge the very real privileges I have by being male in this society.  It won’t be a post claiming that I am somehow under attack as a white male because people dare to want the same rights and privileges that I have.

But it will be a selfish post.  Because I don’t want to speak for anyone else on such a subject that people rightly feel so impassioned about.  Besides, this is my blog-type-thing, not yours.

When this thing hits Twitter, I know the insults will fly.  By daring to dislike the way things are set-up I will be called a Beta Male, people will send me graphics telling me my man-card has been revoked, and I will be called a traitor to my sex.  As if we are in a fucking gender war.  These losers can think whatever they want about me.  They can think that I bend over backwards and that is the only way I can successfully date (I am not pulling this out of nowhere, this was said the last time I posted something with feminist ideas), but anyone who knows me knows this isn’t true.  It always cracks me up they feel the need to try to bring down anyone who likes to bring others up.  They are losers, and their opinions don’t matter.  All the same, I will block them both here and on Twitter when it comes.

So here is why the patriarchy sucks for me.

  • It Makes Women Scared of Me  The other day, I got off the bus.  There was a woman walking on the street in the same direction that I was.  I wasn’t going to try to pick up on her.  I didn’t even want to talk to her.  But I was struck by the way she seriously increased her pace.  It’s a fucking shame she felt the need, but I can’t blame her.
  • It Presumes We Lack Self-Control  I’ve mentioned this before, but I am not a slave to my many urges.  I have a thinking, reasoning brain, and I have empathy.  But every time some loser says a woman was asking to be raped because she was drunk (looking at you “moderate” John Kasich), or was dressed provocatively, it is degrading to our thinking ability and strength in the control of our desires.
  • It incorrectly assumes a degree of male stupidity  We’ve all seen the commercials.  The guy is asking the woman how to clean something and she is laughing at him for not knowing what fucking bleach is or something like that.  Or maybe the guys are just portrayed as irresponsible and impulsive.  Guess what everyone, we are not idiots.  I know how to run a vacuum, I know not to mix bleach and ammonia, I know what a sponge is, and I know how to cook too.  Good.  By assuming any kind of domestic chore is a woman’s job, or that to be a man means to be impulsive and not focused on anything but what is in the moment, it makes it acceptable to paint men as irresponsible idiots.

  • Decisions  “What do you want to eat?”  “I don’t care.”  “Okay, how about pizza?”  “No, I don’t feel like pizza.”  “Okay, how about burritos?”  “No, we just had Mexican.”  FUCK THAT NOISE!  Yes, it is nice to get what you want sometimes, but sometimes, I want to know the person I am with wants.  But in our society, she is taught not to say it.  She is supposed to let me lead and wait for me to figure out what she can accept.  Her opinion doesn’t mater.  Especially when I have other things on my mind, it is nice to have someone else make a goddamn decision from time to time.  Additionally, I am not the most organized person in the world.  If there is a decision to be made that requires organization or keeping track of things, I am more than happy to yield in that area.  Put simply, there are a lot of things people can do better than I can and there are many things I can do better than they can.  It is not up to society to define what those things are, it is up to me and the person I am with.
  • Sex  Of course I’m going to bring this up.  If you’ve read my blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you have probably gotten some idea that I have a thing for strong women.  Let me be clear that a strong woman does not have to be a dominatrix (although a little power exchange play can be fun).  By strong woman, I simply mean a woman who knows her strengths, knows her weaknesses, is comfortable with both, and is not afraid to speak and act in her interest.  I like the women I am with to be a person, not a damn blow-up doll/maid.  I like the women I am with to know that sex does not have to begin when I enter her and does not end when I ejaculate.  Besides, always being the one directing everything just gets a little boring after a while.
  • The box  I am just fine being a man and have no interest in being anything but.  But I hate the hyper-masculine expectations that are placed on me.  I don’t need to dominate everyone around me.  I don’t give a fuck about your lifted truck.  I like to talk about things other than sports (although I like plenty of sports).  I do not cat-call.  I still notice attractive women (all the time) but do not feel the need to tell my friends what I would do to her in order to prove the fact that I’m a man.  I can fucking multitask, I can emote, and I can reason.  I have empathy for other people and I am sick and tired of society looking down on me for that.
  • Empathy  I have and do currently care a lot about the women in my life.  And it bothers me to know how they have been treated.  How they make less money, how they are underrepresented in government (though to be fair, unless you’re a corporation, we all are), how much they fear being victims, how they are blamed for the violence they have endured, and how they have it drilled into them that they need to be subservient and submissive to us.

This is not an all-encompassing list, but merely just some thoughts on why I feel so strongly about gender equality.

What say you?  Keep it civil or get blocked.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

46 thoughts on “Down With The Patriarchy”

  1. What irritates me is when they have these “opinion polls” and say things like Trump gets the” white male”” vote. Really? Or Obama won with the “womens” vote. Really? Like no white males vote liberal? I guess I don’t count.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very well said, Josh! I like very masculine men, but that does not mean that I want to be treated as an empty-headed bimbo! Neither am I a raging feminist that gets annoyed if a man wants to hold a door open for me! Balance, and partnership, if a man is better at cleaning let him clean (I HATE bloody vacuuming so Grump does it, and he does all the cooking too)! I can do it and I will do it, but we work out stuff as to who prefers to do what, we don’t conform to the normal stereotypes. Although we were both in the army, I was the one who was with the artillery, he was a chef!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Very well said Josh! I agree – we are hurt by misogyny and patriarchy – not perhaps to the same degree as women, but every time a man catcalls, or tells a woman to smile (as if anyone should smile on demand for anyone else), or does anything otherwise stupid, it makes the rest of us look bad. It adds fuel to the fire for certain types of radical feminists to tar us all with the same brush (and these same MRAs or misogynistic fools will then stoke that fire further by aggressively harassing any feminist). It reinforces negative stereotypes about men. I don’t want to be defined by whether I have a penis or not – I want to be defined by my own actions, and if treating women with respect is enough to cost me points with MRAs, then that’s a win in my book.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The other day a truck pulled alongside me at a red light, its lift kit put it over the roof of my car. I could, like, see into its engine. I said, “Wow, imagine how small his penis must be.”
    I HATE choosing where to eat, but I cannot deny, I am the foodie, the menu reader, the suggester of foods, and I am picky af, so it’s not like I really want him to decide.
    My husband can clean, and he’s tidy in general, but I wouldn’t say he can cook. He can cook enough to keep himself alive, which is good. He’s manly I guess, but he’s not a tin man. I don’t get on with tin men. They never want to dance.
    I don’t wanna talk about how vulnerable it is to be a woman. Apparently a large section of society thinks we lie about it, make it up, exaggerate, let our imaginations get away from us…
    I have worked for five chauvinistic bastards and I’m sure I will again, but I’ll never work for another letch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Also, this post is titled Down with The Patriarcy, and I want you to know, unlike the 30-some people who didn’t tell me I forgot the R in Fourth of July today. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  5. It’s amazing to me that this is even controversial, Josh. As a woman, I see more often how biases impact women…I lived/live them. It was interesting to see how the biases and stereotypes negatively impact men. For example the portrayal of men as incompetent idiots in commercials and sitcoms. It’s annoying to me; it must be really annoying to you! Posts like this are important; your voice is important. Men need to realize that it’s in their interests to move into greater equality that encourages people to just be who they are. Eventually, things will improve and the more people that speak up, especially men, the faster it will happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I totally agree with you John. The first point you made was a important one, because I think it devoid a both men and women of amicable relationships and fosters suspicion. This patriarchal attitude will come to haunt men big time in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I wish I could like this more than once. Seriously, there’s not enough likes for this post. Keep speaking your truth. Trolls will troll regardless, because small minds also have huge loud mouths, but they can be drowned out. I’m so glad you posted & shared this. It’s important.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great piece. And thanks to carlalouise89 for re-blogging this. As a trans woman I got to appreciate both perspectives. The typical man sucks. He takes privilege as his right, dominance as natural and manly. It’s not. And men in power ( politicians?) seem to be the worse, using the defence of (their) women and children to pass the most atrocious and evil legislation.

    Great blog-type-thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t want the weight of the world on my shoulders and I think white men have done a great job of screwing the world up. Perhaps we should put aside any privileges that we have in this life and be willing to be a teammate to the others who aren’t like us.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Well written! I think patriarchy stems from the human need for power and control and this trait does seem to be generally more obvious in men – it’s happening all over the world from the domestic to the political to the religious – why – I don’t get it – can’t we move on – can’t we evolve? Your post is a good step towards a future of true equality. (I came upon it via Edwina’s Episodes)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have just come across a quote I thought you might be interested in:
    “The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation, because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source” Lucretia Mott 1793 – 1880 speaking at the first Women’s Rights Convention 1848.

    Liked by 1 person

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