Hello dear reader(s)!
This post will by no means be a complete assessment of my feelings on the way our society views the sexes. It doesn’t even begin to cover half of the issues I have with it. It won’t be a #NotAllMen post that does not acknowledge the very real privileges I have by being male in this society. It won’t be a post claiming that I am somehow under attack as a white male because people dare to want the same rights and privileges that I have.
But it will be a selfish post. Because I don’t want to speak for anyone else on such a subject that people rightly feel so impassioned about. Besides, this is my blog-type-thing, not yours.
When this thing hits Twitter, I know the insults will fly. By daring to dislike the way things are set-up I will be called a Beta Male, people will send me graphics telling me my man-card has been revoked, and I will be called a traitor to my sex. As if we are in a fucking gender war. These losers can think whatever they want about me. They can think that I bend over backwards and that is the only way I can successfully date (I am not pulling this out of nowhere, this was said the last time I posted something with feminist ideas), but anyone who knows me knows this isn’t true. It always cracks me up they feel the need to try to bring down anyone who likes to bring others up. They are losers, and their opinions don’t matter. All the same, I will block them both here and on Twitter when it comes.
So here is why the patriarchy sucks for me.
- It Makes Women Scared of Me The other day, I got off the bus. There was a woman walking on the street in the same direction that I was. I wasn’t going to try to pick up on her. I didn’t even want to talk to her. But I was struck by the way she seriously increased her pace. It’s a fucking shame she felt the need, but I can’t blame her.
- It Presumes We Lack Self-Control I’ve mentioned this before, but I am not a slave to my many urges. I have a thinking, reasoning brain, and I have empathy. But every time some loser says a woman was asking to be raped because she was drunk (looking at you “moderate” John Kasich), or was dressed provocatively, it is degrading to our thinking ability and strength in the control of our desires.
- It incorrectly assumes a degree of male stupidity We’ve all seen the commercials. The guy is asking the woman how to clean something and she is laughing at him for not knowing what fucking bleach is or something like that. Or maybe the guys are just portrayed as irresponsible and impulsive. Guess what everyone, we are not idiots. I know how to run a vacuum, I know not to mix bleach and ammonia, I know what a sponge is, and I know how to cook too. Good. By assuming any kind of domestic chore is a woman’s job, or that to be a man means to be impulsive and not focused on anything but what is in the moment, it makes it acceptable to paint men as irresponsible idiots.
- Decisions “What do you want to eat?” “I don’t care.” “Okay, how about pizza?” “No, I don’t feel like pizza.” “Okay, how about burritos?” “No, we just had Mexican.” FUCK THAT NOISE! Yes, it is nice to get what you want sometimes, but sometimes, I want to know the person I am with wants. But in our society, she is taught not to say it. She is supposed to let me lead and wait for me to figure out what she can accept. Her opinion doesn’t mater. Especially when I have other things on my mind, it is nice to have someone else make a goddamn decision from time to time. Additionally, I am not the most organized person in the world. If there is a decision to be made that requires organization or keeping track of things, I am more than happy to yield in that area. Put simply, there are a lot of things people can do better than I can and there are many things I can do better than they can. It is not up to society to define what those things are, it is up to me and the person I am with.
- Sex Of course I’m going to bring this up. If you’ve read my blog-type-thing for any amount of time, you have probably gotten some idea that I have a thing for strong women. Let me be clear that a strong woman does not have to be a dominatrix (although a little power exchange play can be fun). By strong woman, I simply mean a woman who knows her strengths, knows her weaknesses, is comfortable with both, and is not afraid to speak and act in her interest. I like the women I am with to be a person, not a damn blow-up doll/maid. I like the women I am with to know that sex does not have to begin when I enter her and does not end when I ejaculate. Besides, always being the one directing everything just gets a little boring after a while.
- The box I am just fine being a man and have no interest in being anything but. But I hate the hyper-masculine expectations that are placed on me. I don’t need to dominate everyone around me. I don’t give a fuck about your lifted truck. I like to talk about things other than sports (although I like plenty of sports). I do not cat-call. I still notice attractive women (all the time) but do not feel the need to tell my friends what I would do to her in order to prove the fact that I’m a man. I can fucking multitask, I can emote, and I can reason. I have empathy for other people and I am sick and tired of society looking down on me for that.
- Empathy I have and do currently care a lot about the women in my life. And it bothers me to know how they have been treated. How they make less money, how they are underrepresented in government (though to be fair, unless you’re a corporation, we all are), how much they fear being victims, how they are blamed for the violence they have endured, and how they have it drilled into them that they need to be subservient and submissive to us.
This is not an all-encompassing list, but merely just some thoughts on why I feel so strongly about gender equality.
What say you? Keep it civil or get blocked.