About three months had passed. He hadn’t been out with anybody since that night. He didn’t want to pursue anything meaningless anymore, something that was entirely new to him. The techniques he used to pick up women were now off the table, because he deemed them too manipulative and disrespectful. Meagan, Angela, and Kelly had put him in his place in the space of two days. It felt harsh at the time, but he was actually pleased to know that there were strong women out there. Of course, he occasionally thought about Meagan, the property manager for his building that challenged him and shook his world, but couldn’t see her being interested in him, and he wasn’t even sure about her sexuality.
So he kept his eyes open for a woman who could make him feel the way Meagan did. In awe of her feminine power and strength; respectful of her ability to hold her own. In the meantime, he was content working on himself.
He just got his coffee and was walking to the office, when he saw Angela loading boxes into her car. He ran across the street to talk to her.
“Angela! Hey!” he shouted.
“Oh, hey,” she started, looking down as he approached. “Listen, I’m sorry about ditching you that night.”
“It’s okay. I deserved it. I didn’t respect you. I used you as a stand-by.”
“I finally realized that. Why did you never respect me?” she asked him.
“It was your submissiveness. It felt like you were not a whole person. Most of the women I knew seemed to be that way. It seemed weak,” he explained.
“There is a lot of power in submission, you know. You have to be very brave to want to give someone else control. You choose,” she told him.
“I’m learning that,” he replied.
And he was. He understood all of the women he had used were not Barbie dolls, but unique people with thoughts, feelings, and desires that did not make them stupid, weak, or bad people. He understood that there was power in submission, and had a level of respect for the bravery required to give away control to someone.
“So, where are you headed?” he asked her, as he helped put some of the boxes into her car.
“I’m going back to school, back home in Pennsylvania. My ex girlfriend convinced me I could,” she told him.
“Wow, that’s great. I’m really happy for you,” he said. “Ex?” he asked.
“Yeah, well, I’m going back to school. Besides, our relationship had pretty much run its course. Neither of us is primarily gay, so that kind of limited things,” she said. “But she built me up so much. She taught me there is a difference between giving up control and being a doormat. She changed my life. She’s a great woman, but I want to find a guy, get married, have kids, and be his little sex slave in the bedroom,” she winked.
“HA!” he spit. “Yeah, she is pretty great, isn’t she?” he asked, half to himself.
“Wait, you know her?” she asked.
“I know who Meagan is, yeah,” he answered.
“I thought it was strange she pulled me over to dance in front of you, but I thought she was just finding the thrill in getting seen by the guy I showed up with,” she said, the wheels spinning in her head.
“I don’t think you and her would have actually dated for a while if she wasn’t legitimately interested in you. I think the opportunity to rub it in my face just made it more fun for her,” he told her in an attempt to make her feel better.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said as she put the last box in her car and shut the trunk. “Okay, it is time to get on the road. Can I have a hug?”
He leaned and gave her a hug. “Is it just me, or have you grown up?” she asked.
“Keep in touch, okay? You have my number,” she told him as she got in the car.
“Will do!” he shouted as she started the car and drove away.
His mind immediately shifted to Meagan. He wondered if he might actually have a chance with her now. He absolutely craved her, and wanted to prove it to her. He went home and got ready to go out that night.
He showed up at the goth club. He stood by the bar and watched the room all night, dismissing the advances of the occasional woman who decided to flirt. He was only focused on her. He scanned all night, but she didn’t show.
The next morning, his friend Kelly picked him up to go down to the capitol and protest for the ERA. During the march, he thought he saw Meagan out of the corner of his eye, but when he looked again, he didn’t see her. He was busy chanting and holding his sign anyway, and was talking with Kelly and her boyfriend. He had a great time, and went home.
There was a knock at the door. He went to the door, and opened it. It was Meagan, in her business suit, looking as professional as ever. He did his absolute best not to stare.
“Hi,” she said, looking nervous. “So your lease renewal is coming up.”
“Yeah, I just usually go into the office for that,” he told her.
“I know, but I wanted to let you know we have had no more noise complaints,” she told him.
“I wouldn’t think you would have. But isn’t this something I could have found out when I went into the office to renew?” he asked.
She bit her lip, and then sighed. “Fine. I’m using it as an excuse, okay?”
“What?” he asked, stunned.
“Angela called me. She told me about how she saw you. She was mad that I might have used her to put you in your place. I didn’t, you know. I saw someone attractive that I could take control of. I need to be in control. That she was there with you was just a bonus,” she said. “I was good to her.”
“I know. You helped her get the confidence to go back to school. That’s really amazing,” he said.
“And I saw you, at the march,” she told him. “You’ve really changed.”
“Well, what can I say? Call it a redemption story,” he laughed.
She shut the door behind her. “Oh no, your redemption isn’t yet complete. But I’m ready to help you on your journey,” she told him as she unbuttoned her blouse.
“Oh?” he smiled as he tried to contain his excitement.
“I need to be in control. I hope you’re ready for this,” she warned.
“Challenge accepted. There is a lot of power in submission, you know,” he responded.
Featured image by Sabrina Isterica from her Flickr and can be found here.