Hello dear reader(s)!
I apologize for my absence, I’ve been busy with a lot of things having to do with the ongoing health struggles that make up the Josh. I also apologize for any typos or strange autocorrect issues that I may miss as I’m typing this on my phone.
You see, I’m in the hospital. Again. Not for the lung thing which I actually got relatively good news about on Friday morning at a non-hospital appointment, but because suddenly I developed a rash-looking thingy on my foot and ankle that turned out to be a skin infection of some unknown bacterial origin.
There has been a lot of swelling, pain, and itchiness. But that isn’t the worst of it. The thing I hate the most, is that it seems to always be one thing after the other after the other with my health. As soon as one thing looks like it may be turning my way, another thing blows up.
Despite not having B cells, once the lung thing was taken care of, I was seriously considering attempting to get into a vocational rehab program to ease off of disability under their work ticket program. But every time I have thought I could pull it off, there is some surprise thing my body pulls that either ends up with me admitted to the hospital, or spending the vast majority of each day dealing with doctors appointments, or just feeling like garbage. I’ve all but given up hope of ever being able to get back to some kind of real income and independence. It fucking sucks.
Meanwhile, you hear the fucking politicians trying to paint anyone who receives assistance as lazy moochers trying to take advantage of the system. They call the assistance “entitlements” to further entrench the view of non-struggling people that we disabled feel entitled to live off the hard work of others. But the paltry disability payments that I receive aren’t entitlements, it’s a fucking insurance policy for which I paid premiums in the form of taxes when I could work. I know I have likely exceeded the amounts I was able to pay in, but that’s how insurance works. Some policies cost the company (government) more than the amount paid in.
These politicians use people like me, who desperately want to work, who feel fucking worthless when we can’t, and are certainly not stupid enough to “take advantage”, of a system which couldn’t come close to making ends meet without the generosity of loved ones. They use us to deflect the fact that since the Reagan administration, they have raided the trust fund over and over. They have diverted funds that easily could’ve ensured the solvency of this insurance program to pay for tax cuts for the wealthy and their own pet projects. They then falsely blame the people like me who have no other option in order to survive. They use us as pawns in their political chess game, despite the knowledge anyone with a cursory understanding of economics would know that the percentage of the budget spent on people like myself is virtually nothing.
According to the Social Security Administration, there are roughly 9,000,000 (rounded up, slightly) people currently receiving disabled worker benefits. The average payment is roughly 13,000 a year. That is 117 billion dollars spent for people like me. Sounds like a lot of money, doesn’t it?
It is, but not to the Federal Government. When you consider they have spent 1.5 TRILLION dollars on a fighter jet that doesn’t even work (the F-35), & has such bad production delays that the technology will be likely obsolete by full delivery, being blamed for the debt problem in this country is insulting. The cost of the F-35 could pay for all of the standard disability benefits for everyone for more than the next 12 years.
And it’s important to remember this isn’t just tax dollars, but basically required insurance premiums.
I’m tired of wanting to work and not being able to. I’m tired of hospitals. I’m tired of my body not functioning the way it should because I got a cancer that had nothing to do with my lifestyle. But mostly, I’m tired of my life being used as propaganda to rile up a bunch of white-trash, ignorant assholes who can’t use a fucking calculator to determine who is really ripping the people off; so those ignorant assholes will continue to vote against their interests and keep the oligarchy entrenched.
The war on the poor never ends.