Hello dear reader(s)!
Do you watch football? (Soccer here in the US.) I do on occasion. I enjoy a good sporting match. It is quite lovely with my tea and crumpets in the morning to relax and watch some Premier League. It is especially fun when the sporting teams are playing a derby which is pronounced darby there because, Britain.
For full disclosure, everyone here at MyFridayBlog™, from the Executive Editor (me) all the way down to the lowest level contributor (also me) are Chelsea supporters (although after Jose Mourinho leaving, I’m not sure how long I can support the owners that would side with the tanking team over one of the greatest coaches of all time), but I think any objective and reasonable person can agree that Arsenal should be hated, regardless of what team you support.
Also, football (soccer) fans (supporters) are called supporters, not fans. This is because apparently rioting and stampeding at games is not considered fanatical. Silly me. Really, a supporter should only be one who actually contributes to the support of the team. So if you do not buy team merchandise, or tickets, or otherwise support the team (owner?) you are a fan, not a supporter. Regardless of the “English” those people in England claim to speak.
Anyway, this year, Chelsea sucks. The slide started under the greatest coach of all time who won a league championship that year. Then the players started to whine (according to rumors) that coach was mean. Then Jose was either pressured to resign, or did so because of lack of support from the team. He was replaced mid-season and they still suck. So my team has been an afterthought pretty much all year. You knew even during the slide they would pull it out so as not to be in relegation danger, but you knew they wouldn’t recover enough to be back toward the top of the league. This meant that, much like if Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic nomination and faces Donald Trump or Ted Cruz in a general election, I have had to root for someone to lose instead of someone to win.
So I chose to root against the Donald Trump of the Premier League, Arsenal.
And here are the Top 10 Reasons To Hate Arsenal, so you can join in the fun.
- Like Donald Trump, Arsenal has the support of Piers Morgan. If Piers Morgan likes something, it is almost instinctual for me to disagree, with the exception of his stance on guns which does not make sense when you consider how much his boy Trump sucks the proverbial um…barrel…of the NRA.
- Their manager. He just seems to never give a shit when they lose. He’s kind of wimpy.
- Their supporters call themselves “Gooners”. Apparently, this is from “Gunners”, as they are Arsenal and all. Yeah. Okay.
- They went undefeated in ’03-04, but no league titles since. They are like the New England Patriots of football. (Soccer.) Their fans (Gooners) still think they are that time, but they absolutely are not. They are just as arrogant too.
- They are second in attendance but only fourth in payroll. Which usually means you get what you pay for, although this year that isn’t true at all, especially with highest payroll team being Chelsea, who sucks balls this year.
- They look like preppy rich kids. What’s with the fluffy front hair?
- They play kind of dirty. And they get away with a lot.
- They do not play good players enough to keep them, which is good for me, but bad for their fans.
- Their stadium is named after their sponsor. If I wanted that, I’d just watch sports in ‘Murica.
- And finally…
Of course, this is all in fun, I don’t actually hate any sports teams. But if I did…I would hate Arsenal. And the New England Patriots in American Football (not soccer). And the Denver Broncos. And the San Francisco 49ers. And the Dallas Cowboys. And the New York Yankees (baseball.) And the Everett Silvertips (an American major junior ice hockey team, who I don’t really hate because I simply don’t care about ice hockey as we all know the only true hockey is field hockey, but I just added to this list for effect.) #FieldHockey4Life
Do you watch football? (Soccer.) Do you watch football? (American football.) Do you watch footie? (What the hell is a footie?)
Which teams do you hate?