Random Thoughts of Randomness

Hello dear reader(s)!

This here post will be a bit disjointed, like someone who was busted for having a marijuana cigarette that got confiscated.  I’d apologize, but this is my blog-type-thing and not yours, so suck it up and deal, Bambi.

There is a lot running through my mind this morning.  Things I want to say that maybe couldn’t be expanded into a full post without using a lot of filler (which would cause me to update the labeling), but I still need to get off my chest.  (Because things on your mind are on your chest?  I thought your mind would be in your head.  I digress.)  So let’s get started, shall we?

This whole bathroom bullshit  I don’t even understand why this is a thing.  Dennis Hastert raped boys.  He is a conservative (seems like the family values types always have the most to hide), cisgender male.  He might have been standing next to your son at the urinal.  But guess what?  Public bathrooms are not a common place for rape or molestation.  In fact, the more people in a bathroom, the safer it will be.  If I had a daughter I would be far less concerned about a trans person using a stall next to her, than I would be about her being a staffer in a Republican male politician’s office, or playing for a sports team he coached.  She is MUCH safer with a trans person in a public bathroom.  In fact, separate public bathrooms are pretty stupid anyway.  All bathrooms should be unisex with stalls that have doors.  Because guess what?  As a heterosexual cisgender male, I don’t exactly like standing next to other males with my cock out, regardless of their genitalia or orientation.  Besides, segregation is stupid.

The Premiere League  I cannot say I am a Leicester City fan.  In fact, I barely knew who Leicester was.  (Pronounced Lester, which confirms my suspicion that Americans pronounce Worcestershire Sauce wrong.)  But what a story they are.  To climb from the basement of the league last year to being the favorites to win it all this year is the kind of story that makes sports worth paying attention to from time to time.  This would be similar to the Cleveland Browns going to the Super Bowl this season.  Leicester have a chance to clinch the title on Monday, and I will do everything I can to watch that game.

Social Media  A lot of people use social media to bash social media.  Social media is not the problem, people are.  Yes, the anonymity it creates allows people to be extremely horrible in public, but too many people are extremely horrible anyway.  When the viral video from Not Just Sports #MoreThanMean first hit the tubes of the interwebs, people were saying how bad social media was.  Too many people don’t realize that this kind of behavior isn’t limited to social media.  It is ingrained in our society that for some odd reason still can not seem to respect women.  This shit is real, it isn’t just online.  It shouldn’t be surprising that some women are scared of all men, because if we are honest with ourselves, we know these attitudes are real among too many of the people among us.

In the social media vein, but under a different direction, I am also tired of people attempting to shame people for posting things that makes them happy on social media.  We need more happiness.  Wanna take a selfie?  Go for it.  If you’re a woman doing duck lips or a man standing in front of a bathroom mirror with your shirt off flexing, I might think you are a tool, but who am I to tell you what to post?  And baby pictures?  Why are we shaming people for posting pictures of their babies?  Your baby is important to you.  I couldn’t care less, in fact, I think your baby is fucking ugly and I remember you when you had your own life, but I will not tell you not to post it.  I get to scroll by.  And then there is the PDA posts.  Do that more!  If you have a person in your life you love, let that person know.  Post that all over!  Do it because the world needs more love.  More importantly, do it because when that person is gone, you get to go over all those posts later and trust me when I say how nice of a thing that can be.

Religious freedom  I think someone needs to start a religion that believes straight marriage is a sin.  Then I want those people to open bakeries and other businesses that will only support LGBTQ marriages and only make cakes, sell tuxedos and dresses for, and perform other services for people who are not straight.  Traditional marriage is a sin against the Gods and I have a right to run my business according to my faith.  Oh yeah, and Christians are evil.  No Christians at my shop.  Also white people.  You use the broken down water fountain, honkey.  Once and for all, being told not to discriminate is not oppression, you bible thumping, inbred trash!  And yes, I know it isn’t just Christians, so don’t give me that whole, “But what about _____?  They are a lot worse!”  Who gives a fuck?  Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Political Parties  They suck.  Both.  It is time to break them up.  Mass defections into other parties or simply voting independently need to be a reality.  Keep your major party registration though, because otherwise you won’t be able to vote until they actually do lose power.

Venting  Start a blog-type-thing.  Use it to vent.  It beats snapping and ending up dead or in jail.  Life is short, you don’t want to make it worse by carrying all that negative shit with you.  As Elsa would say, “Anna, please go back home.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Pander Ring

Hello dear reader(s)!

Don’t worry, this isn’t really a political post.  Well, it sort of is, because I do talk about politics in it a little.  Well, not really politics, but politicians.  Well, okay, then I guess you can call part of it a political post.  Well, kind of, because I won’t be posting anything about political philosophy or positions.  Well, that’s not really true, because I will be posting about how out-of-touch these pandering politicians are.  Well, and I might mention how I think we should quit falling for their lousy attempts at pandering.  Well, so I guess this is a little political, but only a little.  Well, let’s just get started, and limits the “well”s.

Because, you see, all politicians pander.  Because it works.  And that’s okay.  Because there is more that unites than divides us.  I know.  You see it in the faces of the people when you travel all around the nation campaigning as I have.  You see it in YourShitTown, and over down at SomeLocalCoffeeShop.  You hear it from the hard-working Americans who just want to take care of their families.  In fact, when I was in NearbyShitTown I met little Tommy Johnson whose mother had been laid off by the steel mill which closed and for which I blame everyone but myself.  And do you know what he told me?  He told me, “I wish I was old enough to vote for you because I know that you would miraculously make the mill reopen.”

Well, little Tommy, I promise, when I’m elected, I will make the mill reopen!  I will make all the mills reopen!

And I’ve seen it in the face of Jane Doe from OtherNearybyShitTown.  Jane is waitress who serves the best darn LocalFavortieFood you can find.  (Wait for cheers from those who believe knowing what food your area likes makes you seem familiar.)  And I eat mine DifferentFromTheWayTheOtherCandidateAteTheirsInAnUnpopularWay!  And Jane said to me, you know, ever since the other party gained control of whatever branch of government they control, business is bad because people just can’t afford to come and get that local food.

Well, Jane, don’t worry.  When I’m elected, you’re going to be so busy serving LocalFavoriteFood that you will need to buy more comfortable shoes with all that money you are making!

I know times are tough.  But I also know the good people of YourShitState have the will and the drive to make it better.  You just need someone in office working for you, instead of for the other people we are all beholden to.  You need someone who will fight for Tommy, and for Jane.  You need people who will work to support good people like YourShittyLocalSamePartyMostLikelyCorruptPolitician!  You need someone who will help you have something worth working hard for!  You need someone who will help the good people of OtherNearbyShitTown, NearbyShitTown, YourShitTown, YourShitState, and all of America!

This has been a grueling campaign.  I want to congratulate my opponent for helping make me a better candidate.  I want to thank him or her for bringing to light some very important issues and having the courage to change the conversation around this campaign.  Never mind that just yesterday I was calling him or her the worst thing to happen to this country since slavery in private and having my surrogates try to smear him or her.  Do not pay attention to the fact that I would love to murder him or her in their sleep but am pretending to like them because I need their supporters who I also smeared!  I like that person suddenly!  Because even though I wish that person had never been born, I think you’ll see there is much more that unites us than divides us!

As grueling as this campaign has been, I can not give up.  Why would I want to when there are such great people like you cheering for me on camera?  It is you, the wonderful people of YourShitTown that makes it all worth it.  So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for paving the way for my rightful ascension.  After this speech, when I go home and watch my favorite sport that is popular here, I will be thinking of all of you wonderful people and all of you have done to help with this coronation.

So vote for me, because even where basketball rings are different sizes, they are all basketball rings!

Why, America?  Why do we fall for this shit?  And how can people who can’t even do that right still have supporters?

Bound

Her perfume was intoxicating as she leaned over him.  His hands held together, over his head, until she cinched the straps through the buckles on his wrists.  A slight pull on his wrists as she attacked them to the frame of the bed.  She had never done anything like this, and he never would have thought he wanted it, but was more aroused than he ever remembered being.

She leaned in even further and whispered in his ear, “You are not supposed to enjoy this.”

The feel of her breath combined with the power of her words sent shivers over his entire body.  He tried to hold back his smile as she lifted her head away from his ear, but couldn’t keep a straight face.

That changed when he felt the slap.

His eyes widened, and he looked at her in shock.

“About time you take this seriously,” she said, flatly.

Stunned, he could only manage, “You hit me!”

“Yes,” she replied coldly.

He was upset.  His mind told him that her slap went too far.  Play was one thing, but a slap to the face and her cool attitude told him that this was something else.  He felt disrespected.  But as the sting from her hand faded and turned into the warmth of rushing blood through his skin, that spread to each of his nerve endings, his body betrayed his mind.

His body’s response wasn’t lost on her.  She got up and stood at the edge of the bed and looked down at him with disdain.  “You liked that, didn’t you?  I knew you were weak, the last few days proved that, but I had no idea just how much.”

His mind raced.  He asked himself what she meant by “the last few days”.  He wondered whether or not she was joking or truly serious.  He wondered why he couldn’t stop being so turned on by it.

His shirt already off, she leaned back onto the bed and undid his pants, sliding them off.  She stood back up at the foot of the bed, herself still fully clothed, and smiled.  “You are going to regret the last few days.  Enjoy this now, you won’t be soon.”

The realization struck him.  She was serious.  He suddenly wasn’t turned on anymore.  He was scared.  He began to pull at the restraints that held his hands to the bed, but they would not budge.  “Let me out!” he yelled at her.

She calmly walked over to the nightstand where she had set her phone down.  She checked the time on it.

“Any minute now,” she announced.

“Any minute now, what?” he asked in a panic.

“You know what you did!” she answered.

“No, what did I do?  What are you doing?”

The doorbell rang.

She turned and walked toward the living room, before she shut the door to the bedroom on her way out, she told him, “You cheated.  And now I’m going to make you watch.”

She slammed the door.

He was going crazy.  Pulling at the straps, trying to break free.  He had never been unfaithful to her.  Never even in his mind.  He would never jeopardize their relationship by going outside of it.

But he heard his wife giggle and the muted sounds of a male voice.  He heard the front door shut.  He gave up trying to struggle and started to cry.  There was no arousal, there was no fight, there was just the despair of what was occurring.

He saw the doorknob turn.  He took a deep breath as the door opened.  She walked in.  She was carrying a pizza.

“I found the In-N-Out Burger bag in your car, bastard!  We were supposed to be doing this diet together and I know you cheated!”

She opened the box and lifted a slice to her lips.  She took a bite and made sure to exaggerate how good it tasted.

The sense of relief caused him to burst out into laughter.

“I’m sorry, I was so hungry!” he told her.

She finished her slice, walked around to the top of the bed, and undid the straps.  “It’s okay, that was kind of fun.  Something to consider,” she winked.

He sat up and smiled at her.

“Slice?” she asked.

Meet Me At The Fire

After sunset under waning moon
Once the circle has been broken
The fire at its center continues
After all spells are spoken

The seeds have been planted
Your petals will bloom
Our union will grow
For my Goddess soon

The light dances off skin
The sweet smell of lilac
And of your desire
This night has helped bring back

Down on the green grass
Clutching braided hair
I take my place
Inside in night air

Dance around the Maypole
Take all you desire
In bliss will you meet me
At Beltane fire

Featured Image By Yoninah – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10216975

Collusion!

Hello dear reader(s)!

If you are living under a rock, or just doing your absolute best to ignore any of the election show (for which I cannot blame you), you may have heard that the Zodiac Killer and John (moderate unless you are a woman) Kasich have teamed up in an attempt to deny Republican front-runner Donald Trump from winning enough delegates prior to the Republican convention to secure the nomination on a first ballot.

Of course, the media is absolutely freaking out about this like it is something new.  It is new for these two candidates, but is certainly not new to party politics.  Parties usually make agreements in a less public way, but the desperation of the anti-Trump Republican side calls for more desperate measures in their judgement.  The thing they should be wondering about, is what took them so long.

Were these two candidates really under the delusion that they could win outright until now?  Were they really under the belief that all of the polls are so dead-wrong?  Did they really believe that any Republican outside of their core fans would consider them viable except as an alternative to Trump?  Kasich, who won Ohio.  And Cruz, who wins where the people don’t get a say. I’ve been saying for some time that the party will do everything in their power to prevent Trump from getting the nomination.  Why is this a surprise?  It should be seen as no coincidence that this agreement came after a big party conference in Florida.  It is obvious the party elite pressured both candidates to check their ego, and to realize they are only going to get any support because they are an alternative to Trump.  This is party selection of their candidate.  It is not that big of a story.  It is the reason why our Republic is not at all Democratic.  The voice of the people do not matter in choosing a major party candidate who has a lock on being the only electable candidate in a Presidential election.  It is the same thing happening on the Democratic side, only using slightly different tactics.

Why is this a story?

Well, there is the fact that we are all waking up to it.  On the Republican side, when some are predicting riots, that might actually happen.  However, riots will not accomplish anything.  The threat of riots might have deterred the party from interfering too strongly with the will of the people, but as this agreement shows, it didn’t.  That is how much the Republican party cares about its voters.

The Democratic side is no different.  With debate scheduling, closed primaries, mysterious voter roll purges, and even fundraising for one candidate over another through Super PAC’s as well as buying off Superdelegates to support her; the will of the people does not matter nearly as much as the party establishment.  This prevents any real change from happening.

So what can those of us who are fed up with the control of the party elite do?  What can those of us who feel the parties are taking advantage of the average person who votes for their candidates?

Well, on the Republican side, you could convince conservatives to form a new party.  The tea party isn’t cutting it.  The TrusTED Zodiac Killer is absolute proof that once in the establishment, you become the establishment.  TrusTED going to state conventions and stacking his delegates against the will of the voters is exactly in opposition of what allowed his rise of power.

On the Democratic side, there is no need to start another progressive party.  One already exists.  It is called the Green Party.  Look at this comparison between Bernie Sanders and Dr. Jill Stein on the issues.  The differences are extremely slight.  The real difference is that one is operating as an insurgent inside the Democratic Party, and the other is trying to build something better.  And unfortunately, voters do not see Dr. Stein as a realistic choice solely because of that.

But a Green Party is only unrealistic as long as we continue to believe it is.

We have an unprecedented chance to build a viable alternative to the oligarchs in the major parties that have stolen the voice of the people for far too long.

When Bernie Sanders goes to the convention, and attempts to persuade the Democratic Party to stop ignoring their progressive base, to implement real reforms allowing for a more democratic primary process, and to adopt a genuinely progressive platform; imagine if when he is only paid lip service to making the party work for the people, he then uses his airtime at the convention to tell his supporters to support the most progressive candidates in the race, and the Green Party candidates wherever they appear on the ballot.  Imagine if he uses his people powered fundraising expertise to bolster the Green Party.

Bernie Sanders has said all along we need a political revolution.  That his campaign wasn’t about him, but was about us.  His campaign has been called a movement.  Well, movements don’t die with the defeat of one person.  Movements fight on.

When Bernie Sanders is not the Democratic nominee (and he won’t be, unless there is an unlikely Clinton indictment first), the Democratic Party will go back to ignoring any progressive ideals.  They will shift to the center for the general election, and if the revolution stays within the party, it will die.  Business as usual will prevail.  The Democrats are counting on it, and already savoring their victory.

But Bernie Sanders exposed the weakness of third way triangulation.  He exposed the corruption.  He exposed the fact they are as beholden to moneyed interests than the Republicans.  He has mobilized an army of progressives who want real change now.

Bernie Sanders has shown the Democrats are vulnerable when they do not take progressives seriously.  And since they are not about to take progressives seriously, Bernie’s movement needs to move outside to show them how much of a mistake their dismissal of progressives was.  It needs to fight the party outside of the party rules that silence it.  It needs to Go Green.

Even if you are not progressive, work to get Green Party candidates on the ballot.  You do not have to agree with specific positions to know that Americans should be given more choices than what the corporate controlled party elite (on either side) want you to have.

And if you are a progressive, support Green Party candidates whenever possible.  If you are a Sanders supporter like me, support Sanders as much as you can and fight so that hopefully, he pulls off a miracle and comes away with the nomination.  But, if he doesn’t, no matter who he endorses, unless you want the political revolution to die a slow, painful death…vote for Dr. Jill Stein and any other Green Party candidate where you have the chance.

Take your voice back.

 

Poor People Tips

Hello dear reader(s)!

As regular reader(s) of this here blog-type-thing may or may not be aware, I am unable to work due to my many ongoing and annoying AF health issues.  Living off of disability can be quite the struggle and leads to abject poverty.  (I have been longing for the chance to use abject in one of my posts, and there it is.)  Hopefully we can get rid of the immediate issues and come up with a plan to end this purgatory, but until then, I will just have to live in this sea of abject abjectness.

As such, I have, with the help of the outstanding research team here at MyFridayBlog™ (me), come up with exclusive never before seen strategies to make your half-dollar go further than you ever could have possibly imagined unless you have imagined sending your half-dollar to space or something odd like that in which case, bravo.  You win, okay?  We get it, you sent your half-dollar further.  What do you want, a medal?  It is bad enough you could afford to send your half-dollar to space, now you want to rub it in?  Kick a man when he is down and living in abject poverty?

Nevertheless, out of pure generosity, I have decided to offer my exclusive poor people tips to you.  You can use these tips to either save your half-dollar or make it go further.  I ask that you only use these tips if you are poor.  This is the honor system, which likely means plenty of the richest people are going to use these tips as those people have no honor.  For the rest of you, please, do not use these tips and ruin it for those of us living in the abjectness.

So it is with pleasure and happiness, and a side of thriftiness that I present to you my exclusive tips for those of us currently suffering from the poor, in all its abjectness.

  • Do Not Eat Ramen.  Well, not processed Ramen, anyway.  Yes, Ramen packets are cheap, but they are loaded with sodium and will just make you hungrier later.  In addition, the money saved will eventually need to be quadrupled and then spent on a trip to the emergency room.
  • Date Someone Who Does Not Always Expect You To Pay.  Going Dutch is one of the best contributions the Dutch have made to the world.  Forget their contributions in cartography, art, multinational corporations, democratic socialism, cocoa powder, etc… Going Dutch on a date is the best thing ever when you are poor.  Also, equality.
  • Make you own food as much as possible.  You pay a lot for the service of someone else making your food for you.  If you are capable, make your own damn food most of the time.  You will probably make it better anyway, unless it is something fancy, or you are out on a Dutch date.  Also, health.
  • Follow the law.  If you are poor, a fine can ruin your life.  You might even end up in prison as debtor’s jail becomes increasingly common as municipalities seek to fund keep their funding on fines and lousy financing.  Then when you can’t pay, you go to jail, which costs them more money, they try to bill you for.  Then when you can’t pay for that, you go back.  Rinse and repeat.  Also, laws.
  • Use a network re-seller for your cell service.  Wayyyy cheaper.  Same networks.  No contracts.  No supporting the stupid ad campaigns of the terrible major mobile companies.  Also, fuck you AT&T girl.  Fuck you, Ricky Gervais.  Fuck you, um…T Mobile person??  Fuck you, does Sprint still exist?
  • If you live in a major city, attempt to utilize public transportation as much as possible.  If you are living in as much abject poverty as those of us who live in that abject poverty and its abjectness, you may even qualify for discounted rates for the transportation that is public.  Also, environment.  Also, parking.  Also, that idiot in the Audi who likes to run that stop sign near you and almost hit your Beastess.  Also, gas.  Also, traffic.
  • Be a roommate.  Because there is no way possible those of us in abject poverty could live on our own,  no matter now “affordable” they claim the slums that have miles long waiting lists to be.  Be sure to date someone who has their own place, or find a roommate who is gone often.  Also, two people usually don’t use twice the utilities.  Also, shared Netflix, HBO Go, etc…
  • Remember your abject poverty is not as abject as some people’s abject poverty.  Remembering to be thankful for the things you do have, and to remember that even though you have little, some have much less or none at all, will help you to save money by not engaging in retail therapy.  Also, regular therapy is expensive.  Also, antidepressants are expensive.
  • Use protection.  Babies are expensive.  And annoying.  Even if you are likely incapable of having children, use protection anyway.  Treating sexually transmitted diseases is expensive.  And likely annoying.  Like children.  Children are sexually transmitted diseases.  Also, yes, even your children.
  • Do not bet on Arsenal to win the Premiere League, or for the Houston Rockets to make it out of the first round of the NBA Playoffs.  Because Arsenal is mathematically eliminated, and because Houston just does not want to win at all if the 2nd half of today’s game is any indication.

So there you have it, my tips for those of us who are poor.  Any tips to save money or make your your money go further?  Feel free to leave them in the comments.  Free of charge.

 

To Be Loved

Once you’ve experienced it
You need it
You can and do live without it
Yet everything seems a little more hollow
The bright isn’t as bright
The dark is even darker
The colors that exist in the sea of grey
Take a lot more work to find
Being liked
Being desired
Being worshiped
Doesn’t compare
You become vulnerable
To when it is said
But isn’t meant
You fall for it
At first
You realize
Only later
It wasn’t there
Doesn’t compare
You break hearts
Allow yours to be broken
Do things you would have never considered
Break the rules you made for yourself
Try to bend the universe to your will
All in an attempt

To be loved