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Hello dear reader(s)!
During the last Republican debate, Google says that searches for “How to move to Canada” spiked. And while living in Canada, with its friendly people, single-payer healthcare, maple syrup, and apology enthusiasts certainly sounds good, it is not that simple.
You must either have family there, have some sort of skill that Canadians don’t have enough of, be accepted to a Canadian university, be really rich, or get a Canadian to fall in love with, marry you, and sponsor your visa. (By the way, my female Canadian reader(s), How YOU doin’?)
But there is a less expensive, more likely alternative to moving to Canada. You could get off your ass and vote. I know, I know, it is SO tough to show up to the polls. I mean, Keeping Up With The Kardashians is on. Like, totally.
There is more than the Presidential election this time around. Learn about who your state legislators are, because they actually make a bigger difference in your day to day lives than the President. There are Congressional elections to consider. All you have to do, is spend less time binge-watching your favorite show one week to do a little research and then apply said research to your ballot that you actually cast. (Helpful hint: If your legislator has been accused of copying an ALEC Bill, vote for the other one.) Do you really want to continue to allow your government to be created by a handful of unskilled, unemployed, uneducated, and unwilling to learn old white guys who they think that someone took their jobs when in actuality the companies just outsourced them to cheaper labor markets? (Second helpful hint: If your candidate sounds like a KKK flyer, pick the other one.)
So with that in mind, I present to you MyFridayBlog™’s helpful voter guide and blog-type-thing post.
- Bernie Sanders This is the best candidate. He is a card carrying socialist. So are you if you have a social security card. It is time to stop being scared of the S word. He is less of a socialist than FDR wanted to be. The key thing in his socialism is the Democratic that is in front. Nazi’s were fascists, not socialists, despite their name.
- Hillary Clinton She will be the likely nominee thanks to Debbie Wasserman Shchultz, the evil head of the party that is rigging the primaries in her favor. Hillary is business as usual. Which is far better than…
- Ted Cruz A dangerous theocrat who is on record with his belief that the bible trumps the Constitution. If he is elected, public stonings for the items he cherry piucks from his precious little book might become a reality. Forget about women’s reproductive rights, affordable healthcare, marriage equality, or diplomacy as foreign policy.
- Marco Rubio On record as anti-abortion even in the case of the mother’s health being at risk, rape or incest. Giving a green light for his followers to rape their daughters for Jeebus. Expect corporate welfare to increase under his administration, and common sense environmental and labor regulations to be scrapped. Tax breaks for the rich and more failed trickle down economics will be the order of the day for this person vying to restore “The Party of Reagan”.
- Donald Trump Who the hell knows? Whatever his most rabid supporters want, I guess. If you think the white supremacists have come out of the woodwork now…wait until he gets elected.
- Jill Stein Probably the second best candidate out there, who doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell to win.
- Michael Bloomberg He is not in…yet. He would be pretty equal in policy to a Hillary Clinton, only a little more conservative. He would run as an independent, but would be considered a moderate Republican if Republicans still had moderates. His entry would likely split the Democratic electorate and is therefore the biggest danger of having a Republican in office.
- Incumbents Get rid of them. Look what they’ve done. That’s it. Unless you really, really like the one you have who would have gotten more done if they were not the minority in the most obstructionist Congress of all time.
- ALEC clones If they have presented ALEC bills, get rid of them. Basically, these will be Republicans, who take these cookie-cutter bills to advance ALEC’s agenda and put their names on them as they introduce them to your state legislatures. Live in a state with an Emergency Manager law (like MI)? That was probably ALEC. Live in a state with TRAP (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) laws? That’s likely ALEC. ALEC, is the American Legislative Exchange Council. They basically exist to write example legislation for their members to use to form their own bills in order to advance their agenda in each state. If you like government from, by, and for the Koch’s, you want to elect legislators that are ALEC members. If you want government for the people of your state, even i f you want conservative for some terrible reason, you want to elect someone else.
- Is the person running pushing their prominence in the Chamber of Commerce? Than choose someone else, unless you don’t like services for anyone but the companies that inhabit your area.
Well my dear reader(s), I hope you enjoyed our time together today. Remember, regardless of who you vote for, it is important that you vote. Our democratic republic is currently in the hands of a bunch of rabid, angry people who show up. There are more of you than them, but if you don[‘t get off your ass, they deserve it. It’s much cheaper and easier than moving to Canada.
Although, seriously, female Canadian reader(s), how YOU doin’?