Cheese and Rice

Hello dear reader(s)!

Did you know that cheese activates the same pleasure centers of your brain as cocaine?  That’s what science claims, which is odd, because I’ve never seen Wall Street executives snorting cheese off a hooker’s breasts.  I’ve never seen cheese being mixed with baking soda and smoked by someone who would give you oral just to get more.  I’ve never seen an entire country ravaged by the effects of the war on cheese.  Maybe because there is no war on cheese.  Maybe there should be.  Although I would probably side with cheese.  Yet this post is not about cheese.

So if this post isn’t about cheese, it must be about rice, right?  After all, rice is in the title.  Rice, especially sticky rice in Seattle style teriyaki (much different than teriyaki other places) is very tasty.  I like rice just fine.  However, this post is not about rice.

This post is about cheese and rice.  Which, back when I didn’t want to offend Christians (because now that they have gone on the offensive, I’ve made it my national pastime), was an exclamation I would say in public in place of Jesus Christ!

So this here post, on this here blog-type-thing, is about the things and/or people who have made me say cheese and rice recently.

  • The Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles  Now, I am not talking about the employees who work there, particularly in the title department.  I am talking about whoever decides to have a forever long processing time that you can side-step for a price.  If you have the ability to process them quickly…process them quickly.  Don’t sit on it for weeks because you can milk people desperate for a copy of their titles for more cash.  These kind of pricing structures, along with things like tolling lanes on public highways, do not belong in a government system everyone already funds with taxes.  It’s just another way they nickel and dime the poor to keep them there.  Plus, I’m freaking broke enough and just want to register my vehicle where I am and follow the law.  But apparently they don’t actually want that.  Bernie, I need your help on this rigged system.
  • Too many supporters of both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders  Y’all are fucking annoying.  Bernie has good qualities.  Hillary has some.  Less in my opinion, and I am worried they will change with the political winds, but I know she is better than any of Ze Republikanz.  And I know that using tax dollars to provide important services that other major countries already do is NOT GIVING AWAY FREE STUFF!!!  The candidates themselves are far better than their vocal supporters who are increasingly driving people away.  Speaking of which…
  • Social Justice Warriors  I am not talking about social justice advocates.  There IS an important distinction.  What I am talking about are the people who think that because they may have a different way of looking at things that they are somehow morally superior to someone else.  The only people who really deserve to be treated as though they are morally inferior, are the ones unwilling to shift their perspective to see your point of view, or those who have views that are so morally reprehensible (i.e. the belief in their own superiority) that there obviously is no perspective shift possible.  I get it, we all have causes we care about.  Sometimes, people say or do something we find offensive.  How about instead of attacking, we simply discuss and explain our point of views?  Or are you and have you always been perfect?  Do you expect to reach the critical mass of people necessary to experience change when you alienate those who may see things differently but are completely willing to admit they may not have all the answers and are open to having their perspective shifted?  Good luck with that righteous indignation.  Let me know how that works out for you.
  • The Award Show Talk  Are they racist?  I would argue that they are.  At the very least they are so institutionally racist in terms of voting that no matter who they put in front of the camera, behind the scenes they are very racist.  However, I keep wondering why they are even relevant.  They are nothing more than a “this is who the industry wants to give rim jobs to this year” awards.  BEST album?  Says who?  Since when?  BEST picture?  Saving Private Ryan did not win best picture the year it was up.  Shakespeare in Love won.  Do you really think Saving Private Ryan wasn’t the better picture?  How about Jethro Tull winning the Grammy for Best Hard Rock?Metal Performance over Metallica in 1989.  Jethro Tull?  Hard Rock or Metal?  Yeah…no.  Everyone knows that was nothing more than a lifetime achievement award in disguise.  So was Taylor Swift better than Kendrick Lamar?  Better than Beyoncé?  Doesn’t matter.  It should only matter to you.  Boycott the awards over race.  But they should also be boycotted over integrity.  Opt-out of the industry ass-kiss fest.  And buy your own damn designer clothes.  You’re rich.
  • Mitch McConnell  You are on record as being against the very thing you are doing.  Multiple times.  In fact, you have written that the senate shouldn’t even take politics (short of someone being a Nazi or something) into account when confirming the President’s nominee.  Video exists of you getting pissed about the unwritten Thurmond rule which even if it WAS a thing, only applied to appointees in the final six months of a President’s term.  You are on record!  Plus, you could have obstructed and made it look like you weren’t.  You could have allowed the hearings and not said anything out front, and just voted it down.  Now you like a bitter, old, idiot who will use things he despises just to stick one to that uppity black man in the white house.  Because let’s face it, that’s what your party’s spiteful obstructionism has really been about the past 8 years, hasn’t it?  Asshole, turtle douche.

Cheese and Rice, people!!

Until next time, my dear reader(s), I would like to thank the academy for this here blog-type-thing, my agent, my mom, my boo, my bae, my boobae, the man upstairs, or woman, or whoever lives up there for finally adhering to the quiet hours, the baby seals and the sealed babies, and finally…you.  Yes, you my dear reader(s), without whom this would still be possible, but not nearly as fun.

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

21 thoughts on “Cheese and Rice”

      1. I mean,l I’m sure sometimes the person who sells best and gets along best with the industry is actually deserving, but they care more about how they get along and how they sell than being deserving to give those awards in the first place, and it should be obvious by now.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Uh, sometimes I like award shows. I typed shoes in a Freudian slip sorta way, so I think that says something. But I think the thing to do is to watch the highlights on ye olde interwebz. Definitely racist, in my opinion a microcosm of the rest of society.
    As you know, I agree with you on the Hillary v Bernie stuffs. Did you see the baby costumed to look like Bernie? Cheese and rice, that was flippin precious!
    Turtle mofo is the kinda guy that makes me feel less like a pacifist and more like a woman on the edge.
    Would your Social Justice Warriors match the title of what I call The Cause People? Ex: “I can’t believe you’re writing about cheese, Josh! It’s 2016 and you’re not a baby cow!” Like that?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Possibly, the cause people. But as I have said, I’m fine for having causes and wanting social justice. The issues I have is when someone thinks they are morally superior to another because of their way of looking at one.
      And I know how horrible cheese and other dairy is for cows. It makes me sad. But until they start making breast milk cheese…it is what it is.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. How prescient of you to post about the War on Cheese on the very day that NBC fired the first shot in the War on Cheese. Seems that some unscrupulous cheese purveyors (if you can call mass production of anything purveying) have taken to, shall we say, stretching, the amount of “other” ingredients in their cheese. Apparently it’s OK with the FDA if you put a little cellulose in your cheese. And if a little is OK, then you can bet some greedy bastards somewhere are gonna package up a block of sawdust with a little FDA approved color and flavor and sell it as cheese. You can say cheese and rice, but be careful what brand of cheese. And, BTW, is Velveeta really cheese?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is why I love Tillamook. You know it is cheese, and you can go see it being made. Such good stuff. No, Velveeta is not, IMHO. But processed cheese does work best for chili con queso, though I wouldn’t pick Velveeta.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So can I then infer from this post that…

    politics/politicians are 💩
    media is 💩
    “cause heads” are 💩
    oh and award shows are 💩

    Well…💩

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cause heads only in the PCU definition. I think people should have causes. I think people should be active in them. I believe in protest and civil disobedience when warranted. What I don’t care for are those who find anyone with a different perspective (particularly when you end up in the same place, but maybe came there through different ways of looking at it) as being inferior to them. It alienates people from important goals and causes.

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