Hump Day!

Hello dear reader(s)!

Today is the day for humping.  It is true, I don’t make the rules.  It is the day we all must hump.  That is why it is called hump day, right?  No?  Are you sure?

Speaking of humping, I had a funny little incident this morning.  No, I am not going to go into detail about my sex life or possibly lack thereof on this here blog-type-thing, so don’t worry.  This isn’t that type of blog-type-thing.  Not that there are anything wrong with those, I just try to keep this a non explicit place.  Implied?  Sure.  Explicit?  No.  So I will not talk about me actually humping on this here blog-type-thing.  You’re welcome.

However, I went to the store this morning.  I was out of coffee stuff, and needed to go get that and some cream cheese for my bagels.  I am super tired because I got home a bit late last night and one of my cats decided to be a jerk at 4 in the morning until I finally got up.  So I decided I would not wait until I got home to have coffee.  And then I remembered the little espresso stand.

So I drove up to the little espresso stand.

Now, I don’t know if any of you dear reader(s) have these where you live, but in my area (and I think we may have started the phenomenon) there are “bikini barista” stands.

Now, I am all for sex positivity.  I am all for people’s rights to show their body.  I think our attitudes about sex and sexuality cause people a great deal of pain and I am all for getting the acknowledgement of sexual desires to be less of a taboo.


Get a bigger sign!  Or specify on the one visible sign what kind of espresso stand this is!

The only sign visible from the road said, “Espresso”.

So I pulled in.  Waited behind a big pickup truck (should have been a clue, honestly) and then drove up to be rather shocked by what I am sure is a lovely woman who looks like plastic inside a tiny low cut bikini top and a g-string, completely visible in a huge mirror on the back wall for ogling.

I am far from being a prude, but I usually like to know when I am approaching someone’s nudity.  So I can consent.  This felt like a violation.

But while we are on the subject of sex and violations, I think we as a society have a horrible relationship with sex.  I don’t understand our desire to make a natural and frankly great part of the human experience into something that should be hidden or even shamed.  I am sick of people being judged for the number of sex partners they have had.  I am sick of people who do not conform to society’s standards of some outdated notion of proper being hurt by those who believe everything regarding sex should be their own views on the subject.  I am sick of people getting looked down on for something that does not affect anyone else.  And I am very sick of the notion that we must suppress something that is such a major part of most of us, and all the problems that suppression seems to cause.

On the other hand, I have noticed an opposite push from people who claim to be sex positive.  There are people who identify under the term who tend to judge people for not being polyamorous and for being selective in who they have sex with.  This to me is just as egregious as those who judge the people who are polyamorous and tend to have more sexual partners.

The bottom line is that nobody should have to be ashamed of what they do or do not like to do when it comes to sex, provided it is between consenting people with the ability to consent.  Anyone who labels themselves sex positive and doesn’t adhere to that truly is not.

But by all means, if you prefer teen pregnancies, higher rates of rape, sexism, suicide for people outside the standards, high divorce rates, unhappy relationships, more sneaking around, more STD’s, more abortions, and just worse sex…support the judgment of people and keeping sex like it should be some great secret.  Support an unwillingness to address the fact that sex is a major, major part of human experience.  Even if you are not sexual yourself.

So go out there and hump today.  Or don’t.  We really shouldn’t care.


Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

49 thoughts on “Hump Day!”

  1. No, we don’t have espresso stands. That would be…so distrusted here. We certainly couldn’t have bikini espresso stands. That would be…so obscene here. I live in such a red, puritanical place. *shakes head* Churches would be protesting, the governor would ban bikinis…
    I must say, I would totally go to a bikini espresso stand, because I bet the women would totally never hit on me or say cheesy sexist shit to my husband like, “If you wanna get any work out of her, you shouldn’t let her order decaf, AHAHAHA!”
    Also, I admire the human form in many shapes, and any shape that hands me coffee is appreciated.
    I’m sex positive, which usta mean I was a slut. *shrugs* IDGAF. I got this one life and I’m going to (fucking) enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is pretty much sex positive as long as you aren’t rude to people who are not and believe in your right to be.
      The barista I had, while totally plastic, was actually nice and probably wouldn’t have said anything sexist. She was like a regular barista, but plastic and in that outfit.
      I don’t understand how the South can have Hooters and not bikini baristas.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do not care about the sex life of any adult outside my own.
        Indiana is not the south, but I see your point. We only have 3 Hooters here and it’s quite the scourge. One really should dine at BW3 because family-oriented…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The bottom of Indiana is the bible belt, yes, but not Indy.
        I found the link for BW3 which is apparently now called B-Dub. Lawd.

        My own experience there included vile fish tacos and bad chocolate cake with fake yellowy ‘ice cream’ on top. Plus, the sports. All the sports. Loudly. Even The Mister, who is carnivorous and sports-minded thinks it’s tremendously overrated.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. OH! We have those here too, and in Reno. Never been and never heard it called that!
        No I’m sure Indianapolis isn’t, but just like Eastern Washington isn’t liberal, Washington is viewed that way because of the Western power and the Eastern conservatives kind of have to deal with it. I’m sure Indy is the same in reverse. Your state is pretty conservative, even if Indy isn’t. I wonder how long until it becomes the power center.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes, it’s like that. The city I’d say is quite split, and government parties are interchangeable although we do seem to prefer moderate dems…
        There’s so much that’s rural and religious that the state stays red as all get out.
        I do not recommend the B-Dubs. lol I ate at Hooters maybe five years ago and had a delicious Asian salad. At BW3 boobs might could help the atmosphere, but I think the food is beyond help!

        Liked by 2 people

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