Hello dear reader(s)!
As regular reader(s) of this here blog-type-thing may or may not be aware, a few days ago I was in kind of a funk over some issues with some of my friends. And while many issues remain, I have to say I am over it. It takes a lot of energy to be upset about things, so I stopped. And then this morning I was upset that yet another person is dead from cancer. But then I stopped. Not that I’m happy about it, just that I don’t want to use my energy being upset.
Because funk isn’t supposed to be a bad thing. Just ask James Brown, George Clinton, or even the Red Hot Chili Peppers when they still played funk. Funk should be fun.
Life sucks. It does. There are things that are going to hit us and hit us hard that are completely out of our control. There are going to be things that are within our control where we fuck up and still make it suck. There are going to be things that other people do that make our life suck. There are going to be things that nature does that makes life suck. And all we can do is survive it and wait for the next time it doesn’t suck. And we can find ways to make it less sucky in the middle of all the suckage. We can find ways to help people through their periods of suckage. We can use our own periods of suckage as roadmaps for helping others and ourselves the next time we find ourselves in sucky situations. We can overuse various forms of the word “suck” just for the fun of it on our blog-type-things.
When I look back on things, as I have done the last couple of days, I have realized that some of the best times of my life have been directly following, or even during some of the worst times. Here are a few examples just from the previous years:
- People I didn’t expect coming to visit me in the hospital.
- Meeting and getting to know some of the great nurses, doctors and phlebotomists.
- Laughing and joking with Hannah as I thought I was dying.
- Knowing I was truly loved.
- The conversations that would lift me out of the worst places.
- Hearing that something I did helped someone else.
- Laughing and joking with Hannah as I tried to convince her she could make it.
- Seeing all of the people at Hannah’s memorial.
- Hanging out with friends that I either only knew through Hannah, or who I may have known previously but became close to because of Hannah.
- The conversations that would lift me out of even worse places.
- The realization that no matter how much I hated what happened, I could not change it and had no other choice but to keep going.
- The realization I could feel again. I was numb, and then I wasn’t.
- New connections.
- The conversations that would lift me out of bad places when some of those connections disconnected.
- More new connections.
- More good conversation.
- My family.
- My blogging buddies.
- My buddies that started out as blogging buddies but are now buddies.
- The word “buddies”.
- Finding out there are many people who share the same views and beliefs I do.
- My cats.
- Email and texting conversations that keep me glued to my device.
- Not checking the route for the bus I got on because I didn’t want to deal with parking yesterday where I was going and realizing it no longer stopped where I was going to get off so taking it to downtown instead and going to Pike Place Market just for the hell of it and making the best out of the situation. Basically, realizing how adaptable I am when things go wrong.
And that is really what it comes down to, isn’t it? Shit is going to go wrong. I guarantee it. The dreams you had in your head…most won’t come true. But some can. And sometimes those dreams need to change. That intense connection? Probably won’t lead where you thought it would. Probably wasn’t supposed to. But it can still be important, and meaningful. At the very least, it can be a learning experience. That job you thought was perfect until you realized it was soul crushing? It is a job, it doesn’t define you. You’ll find something that makes you happier. Or maybe you’ll learn to tolerate for the sake of the things that do. You’ll adapt, you’ll figure it out. There are going to be some good times in there.
So hope for the best, but don’t expect it. Don’t expect the worst though, because then you are just putting it out there, and that comes back to you. But whether you get the best or the worst, remember there is always the best to be found. Even in the worst.
Somebody please kick me, I’m starting to sound like Tony Robbins.