He had built her up so much in his mind that he really thought of her as being someone he could see himself with. He knew she was beautiful, in fact, he thought so for years, but it was other things about her that mattered. And he knew she had issues, but he could look right past them. Then one day, without any warning, it all came crashing down.
She had done one of her famous disappearing acts. The one thing about her that really bothered him, because it made it impossible for him to know where he stood. He accepted that about her every time before, but something about this time felt different to him. He couldn’t put his finger on it. He began to wonder, if she never wanted to talk to him, answer him back, or interact in any other way, why he wasted his thoughts on her. He wondered why they were even friends in the first place. He definitely started to wonder why he desired to be more.
And then, he just stopped. He started to think about himself. He realized that his thoughts and feelings for her were unhealthy if never responded to. He wanted a simple yes or no. But she dodged it anytime he tried to bring it up. He didn’t understand her inability to be straight with him. He poured back over the things in his mind, and began to realize how mixed the messaged truly were. He would have been happy even if he got a “Yes, but there are too many things in the way I’m not willing to deal with right now.” And he would have been happy even with a, “No, I only want to be your friend but I’ll make more of an effort to be there more often.” She gave him neither, and didn’t even really have a good reason why. So he decided to move on.
She was busy making plans. She knew that somewhere along the way she had fallen for him. Since he never hid his feelings, she knew he had fallen for her too. She was trying to play it cool, she did not want to scare him off for seeming over eager. She liked that he was willing to challenge her but still recognized the person she was inside. The person she had always wanted to be, but lost somewhere along the way. The person who was buried under a sea of bad people and events in her life. She wanted to be with him, but had a lot of work to do in order to make it happen. She ended up wishing she would have let him know.
He was driving back from a date that cold January night. The woman he met was intelligent and funny. She seemed genuine, which was a huge requirement in somebody. She was very attractive and their conversation flowed so well that they had to chug their drinks when they decided to leave because neither of them were really sipping on them as they were talking. They laughed and flirted through the night as they got to know each other. There was a definite spark. As he drove along the roads, he realized his lips were still tingling from their kiss.
He had that feeling in his chest, the butterfly feeling one gets when they meet someone they really like. He was excited for their next date. She lived a little further from him than he would’ve liked, but he didn’t think it was too awful. She was on the South end of town, and he was more on the North side. At night, the roads were open enough that he wouldn’t be sitting in traffic, but still, he thought that if he lived where he used to he could make that distance in the quarter of the time. It did allow him to think about how much his life had changed in such a short period of time. It allowed him to realize how hopeful he felt for the future again.
She was writing him a message. She was ready to tell him her feelings and her plan. She was ready to see if he wanted to go along and make sure he still felt the same. She checked it over a few times to make sure it sounded just the way she wanted it to.
He was thinking about her again. He had a great time on his date, but something always drew his mind back to her. He rounded the curve on the bridge over the roads beneath and tried again to put her out of his mind. He knew it was no use wasting thoughts on her.
She pressed send.
The notification came in on his phone just as the truck’s trailer slammed into the side of his car. The investigation would later reveal that the truck had not signaled or even bothered to check his mirrors as he decided to move around a slower moving car in front and into the left lane. The driver was cited for careless driving, improper lane change, failure to signal, and being a vehicle of that size in the left lane which was illegal in his state. His car went right through the guard rail at the end of the bridge, and it all came crashing down.