Good From The Bad

Hello dear reader(s)!

When you’ve been through what I have, or any bad thing (because the severity of my issues does not invalidate the reality of yours), you have to do your absolute best to take the good from the bad.  To see the beauty in the ugliness, the light in the darkness, the cream cheese in the bagel (wait, that doesn’t work because I like bagels AND cream cheese)…well, you get the point.  Life is going to do its best to beat you down sometimes, and sometimes the only thing you can do is take pride in the fact you landed a punch or two before you fell.  Finding the good in the bad is the only way you can face major tragedies and still believe that life on this planet is worth living.  Even with less tragic, but still bad moments, you have to take the good from the bad.  And so it was with last night.

My friend hosts an open mic night at this small pub I have wanted to go to but for various reasons I have never been able to make.  I usually have game night on Tuesday nights, so there was one reason.  When I haven’t had game night, I’ve been too sick to go anywhere.  But I was excited to go, because it would be the sort of people I could stand to be around (not club people), the crowd wouldn’t be so large I would have to worry about my low immunity, and it wouldn’t be so loud with no escape if it got that way.  So when game night was cancelled last night, I decided I would try to go.  My stomach was bothering me all day, but I decided to fight through it.

We arrived at the pub and everything was great.  We listened to some of the music and hung out on the patio or down by the fire pit, but could still hear everything and it was all really good.  I talked with my friend who was hosting (and playing a few times during) the event, and talked with his mom who is my mom’s best friend from when they were kids.  Then another one of my friends showed up and I talked with her for just a second before she had to leave.  I met a couple of new people and that seemed fine.  At first.

But it wasn’t fine.  It was more of the same old thing in this town.  I started talking with someone who caught my eye, and she casually dropped that she worked with people who suffered with cancer.  Thinking it was coincidental, I told her how cool that it is being a survivor myself and was hoping to move the conversation forward.  Only it wasn’t coincidental she brought it up.  She had already been told all of the things that had happened to me in the past few years.  It seems my reputation had once again preceded me.  The next thing I know, we’re talking about all of this crap that I really didn’t feel like talking about when I was just trying to go out and have fun.  She is crying by the end of our conversation (not my stuff, I barely said a word about it, but hers because I guess she related) and I realize that any hope I had to be seen as something other than a tragic figure was out the window before I ever even opened my mouth.  So when she got up, I just let her go without trying to make plans to talk with her again.

A while later, I was talking with someone else and she also knew what happened to me as soon as I said my name.  There is nothing worse than saying, “Hi, I’m Josh,” to someone and they respond with, “I know.  I’m so sorry about everything you’ve been through.”

Fucking seriously?

“Hi, I’m Josh, I’m a fun person and a really genuine guy who was kind of interested in getting to know you better but you are only capable of seeing me as a victim.  Take care.”

And it isn’t like I would keep my past hidden, I would just like the opportunity to introduce it on my timeline.  In another setting.  After I got to know that person a little better and they got to see who I was as a person as opposed to a story.

However, there was some good in all of that.

I have been second guessing wanting to leave town because of some of the better friends I have here.  Even though I definitely need to leave my house and don’t like the area, in the back of my mind, the question of whether or not moving away was the best option was swirling around.  Not anymore.  No doubts at all, and that is a good thing.

Another good thing to come from this is I heard another songwriter with a voice that was even worse than mine, but he was up there singing his song which was quite good once you got past the singing, and he was doing it.  Nobody was laughing or shaking their heads, but they were listening to the song he wrote.  So I decided to sing in two weeks.  (I want to practice.)

The last good thing to come from it is that I was planning on doing a song I wrote years ago, that I have been retooling every once in a while.  But when I got home, I was so frustrated by everything, that I ended up writing a brand new song which I love, and I will be doing that song instead.

I will have a friend take a video of it, and if I view it and don’t Peter Brady too many times or otherwise suck, I will post it for you.

So yeah, last night was kind of shitty, but it was also kind of great.  Hopefully I play and sing this song all the way through as well as I did with each part as I wrote it.

Wish me luck!

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Author: Josh Wrenn

Cancer survivor, wanna-be artist, musician, author, and all around good guy.

25 thoughts on “Good From The Bad”

  1. Best of luck with the performance, man! As for last night- keep all the great stuff that happened… drop off the shitty stuff asap! Looking forward to seeing the vid of your performance in the feed soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Timing is everything….your post brought insight and clarity to me in reference to something a good friend has been going through….the good that does come from the crap comes in many different ways….thanks for sharing and best of luck with your performance!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Josh! Thanks for stopping by my website and glad I made it back here. I really like this post and your sense of humor as well as outlook on life – finding the “kind of great” amongst the “kind of shitty.” There are plenty of people who do it the other way around. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. While breaking a leg would be be really shitty, I just want to say Go break a leg! Knocking someone dead not such a shit hot idea either but Go knock em dead! Having your head drop off? Loosing your lungs, horrible but but sing your lungs out knock their heads off! Wishing you a “shitty ” most excellent day Josh!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Being new, I don’t know anything about your situation but I would be so tempted to say, “Yeah, you know the thing about being a cancer survivor is that seems to be all anyone wants to talk about. Will you excuse me?” and walk off with a smile. Anyway, really exciting about your new song. Will be looking forward to hearing it. 👏👏👏

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So sorry it was a bad night but glad it ended up good. It really is too bad when people already “know your story” 😦
    They have preconceived notions about someone they have never met and will act accordingly. However, when you know someone has been through an awful experience, it is difficult to know what to say. I choose not to say anything unless THEY bring it up. I may acknowledge I had heard something but I try to let them tell me in their own words if they choose. I know a lot of people and MOST of them have been through something tragic at some point or another. I only get annoyed with the ones who DO allow it to define who they are and never step outside of the event as a survivor and always remain the victim. “Hi, I’m (fill in the blank) and just like everyone else on this planet, I have been through some bad shit. But that is in the past and it has made me strong. I could tell you all about it, but then I wouldn’t get to know who you are. Tell me about yourself… yadda, yadda, yadda…. 🙂
    Good for you that you see what happens, Sorry it has caused pain for the dweebs who do not know how to look at the person as a whole instead of someone something happened to…. :-/

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I bet you do great! Oh man, I have been there with folks! I actually used to hear people whispering (quite audibly), “that is the girl that was thrown off a building.” I am so much more than that, as are you my friend. Leaving town and making a fresh start sounds like a good strategy.

    Like

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