Hello dear reader(s)!
Since it is Saturday, and people are not posting that much, and I’m not going anywhere until later this afternoon, and I started off the day with a fairly negative post, I thought I would lighten things up a little with yet another post in the span of a few short hours. Why? Because I can, that’s why. My house, my rules. If you don’t like it, tell your mother after I talk to her first and tell her it is important we are a united front on these types of things. Got it? Good.
So as some of my dear reader(s) may already know, I live in Northern Nevada. I don’t live in Reno, but if you live in Northern Nevada, you might as well, unless it is Eastern Northern Nevada, in which case you might as well live in Utah. At any rate, due to my home being within a relatively close proximity of the Reno area, and having lived within Reno before, I feel qualified to give you all a guide to a successful time spent in the Reno area.
Before I start talking about Reno in general, I would like to talk to you about Reno’s events. Since the train trench that nobody wanted was pushed through the center of downtown, killing the surrounding casinos and just making a giant, ugly, hole right in the center of the downtown area, along with the rise of tribal casinos and no attempt by Reno officials to match or compete with the Vegas Resort-Casinos; Reno has relied increasingly on events to bring in the tourist revenue it once just expected to have. Some of the more popular Reno events are
- The Best In The West Rib Cook-off Yum, although I didn’t go this year because I was in the beautiful state of Alaska. Or at least in Anchorage.
- The Great Reno Balloon Race See my post about that earlier in the month.
- Hot August Nights Big-ass car show, with a lot of parties and 50’s-60’s nostalgia although they are letting in cars from the 70’s now. After the compression ratio drop. Like anyone cares about those. They also allow kits, which I think is dumb, because we all know that’s not a real Cobra, and you’re probably running a 90’s corvette engine in the thing.
- The Santa Crawl Frequently imitated, never duplicated, the Reno Santa Crawl is the best Santa Crawl in the United States.
- The Zombie Crawl Think Santa Crawl but closer to Halloween and zombies instead of Santas and elves. Truly surreal to be out among watching hordes of drunken zombies dressed like zombies roaming the streets the way that zombies do. I mean, Hollywood could shoot zombie movie scenes that day, and not have to pay extras. Weird looking. Anyone up for it this year?
- And of course, there is Street Vibrations. AKA, the vibrators. My least favorite of all Reno events because at least one drunken biker gets hit a year, and sometimes, there are shootings. Then we are subjected to billboards and reminders about how we need to watch for motorcycles because the assholes that come here split lanes and ride intoxicated doing stupid shit that nobody on a public street regardless of vehicle should ever do. And what could ever go wrong when you get a whole bunch of bikers together? Well, you could ask the people of Texas, or you could read this link for something that actually happened here. The festival banned the wearing of colors at all official events, but because bikers do not just sit still, they often leave said event and drive to bars and casinos with their colors. I have no issue with non-gang affiliated bikers. My dad has a Harley. I don’t care. I do care about the safety and party, party, party drink more with known gang members attitude this festival has. It is going on right now, and I have to drive across the area today to get where I’m going. Not looking forward to it.
I know, I know, I’m doing the grumpy old man thing again. “Not in my backyard with your shootings, gang-violence, stupid drunk driving and fights, you danged Hooligans!”
So to switch gears, I present to you, my Definitive Guide For Enjoying Your Trip to the Greater Reno Area.
- Don’t go! Pony up the extra couple hundred and do Vegas instead. Seriously. Reno doesn’t even compare.
- Right on red is legal in Nevada unless otherwise posted. Get it? If it’s clear, and there is no sign, fucking turn already!
- Set aside a certain amount you are prepared to lose, and do not go over that amount no matter what. We have a lot of pawn shops here. I wonder why that could be?
- Go to Tahoe. Tahoe is cool. Drive around it, hope that not every part of the loop is under construction, and hit a beach if you can park. It really is beautiful, despite the insanely low levels.
- Go to Virginia City. Virginia City is cool. It is authentic, but there is enough tourist crap along C street to make it okay for visitors. Hit the graveyard. It is fascinating. Be careful if you go to the 4th Ward School, because I honestly believe that place is haunted.
- Come in December, and do the best Santa Crawl in the nation. I’m not kidding. A pub crawl, in Santa gear, culminating with carols under the arch. Great fun, and I’m not even Christian. Just be prepared to be pelted with marshmallows. Everyone is in a good mood, and it is honestly the best. Might have even been the first. We are ranked on that one, in a good way for once.
- Hit mid-town, and try to see a local show. Reno has an on again, off-again local arts scene. When it is on, it is on. When it is off, it is dead. We have an event I didn’t list above called ArtTown, and I didn’t list it because it is very scattered and extremely hit and miss. Check out the Reno News and Review and look at the Nightclubs Grid, Find something in the local bars, (Do not look at the casino listings) and check it out. Some acts are very good. Some are not, but at least it is something.
- Take me home with you! Seriously. I want out. Please. I am being held against my will.